


Or Forever Hold Your Peace

by katanaxriot



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Affairs, Angst, Comfort/Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Off The Charts Angst, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, unfaithful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-03-25 12:13:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 171,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3809983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katanaxriot/pseuds/katanaxriot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've been best friends since college. And then one night she calls him devastated and he tries to comfort her but they end up in a very non platonic situation. Except she's engaged to be married in a few months and he's not her fiancé. Where does that leave them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wilt Tho Comfort Her?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :)
> 
> This is my first time posting to AO3 so please be kind. I wanted to get this in as part of The Fuckening Drive but then it took on a mind of its own. Don't you just hate when that happens? Anyways please enjoy and let me know what you think below.

The bike roars through the quiet streets of Starling City. Oliver had only received the voice message a mere 10 minutes ago but the urgency in her tone and the crack in her voice had him violating traffic laws in his haste to get to her.

Eventually he rounds the front of her apartment, barely getting the kickstand down before he's jumping off the bike and racing to her door. He knocks on her door rapidly and tucks his helmet under his arm.

The door is thrown open and behind it stands a disheveled Felicity. She throws her arms around him in greeting and he holds her in his arms before pulling her in front of him for inspection. He scans her quickly and can see no visible cuts or bruises. It's then that he notices her eyes are puffy behind her glasses and the tip of her nose is tinted pink. She's been crying.

"We broke up." She says behind a crumbled tissue.

"Oh, Felicity..." Oliver's heart breaks at the pain in her eyes. She sniffs and looks down, pushing her glasses higher up her nose.

"The wedding's off." She drops her hands in defeat and he can see her struggling to keep the tears at bay.

He brings her back into his embrace and she lets herself go, clutching at his sweater as she cries against his neck and he runs a hand down her hair soothingly. His helmet is deposited on a nearby table.

"I'm so sorry Felicity. Do...do you wanna...talk about it?" This makes her snort against his neck as she pulls back. "What?" He asks, unable to keep himself from returning her small smile.

"No offense Oliver but talking isn't exactly your forte. If that's wanted I wanted to do, I wouldn't have called you."

He quirks his head at her, her signature move. She sighs in defeat and brings her tissue back up to sniffle behind it. "Fine." She walks over to the couch and he follows suit, sitting down next to her.

"So what happened?" 

"I...don't even know! I can't figure it out—and you know that does _not_ happen to me. I figure everything out eventually, mysteries bug me." He nods. "He's just been really stressed out lately. With the bad reviews his smart watch prototype's been getting, and this new Larvin person giving him hell at work, and then there was some stuff with his parents... And I don't know, I think it all came to a head and he couldn't take it any more. I mean one second we're discussing floral arrangements and the next he just keeps telling me it's too much and that he can't do this anymore. I was trying to calm him down and told him not to worry about the arrangements and he told me I didn't understand and that it wasn't just that and then...and then," she sniffs, holding back the tears threatening to overflow. Oliver, having gotten closer to her while she spoke, takes her hands in his, running his thumbs over her knuckles.

"And then he said that he didn't want to marry me anymore." She looks at him then and the tears come. He quickly puts an arm around Felicity, bringing her closer. Felicity sobs, throwing her hands around Oliver's neck, practically crawling onto his lap.

"What's wrong with me?" She mumbles against the collar of his sweater. At first Oliver thinks he didn't hear her right but she continues, "I mean first my lacrosse stalker, then Cooper, now Ray...I mean clearly there's something wrong with me."

He pushes her back gently, holding her at arm's length. "Felicity, what are you taking about?"

She looks down at her hands, and he can feel a babble coming on. "I mean obviously there is something that attracts broken people to me. I don't mean physically limb from limb broken, I'm not a doctor, but emotionally broken and for some strange reason I think I can fix them. Again, not a doctor, but I try and then it always ends up blowing up in my face, like that time in my junior year of high school, that relationship literally ended up blowing up in my face,"

He pulls her chin up so he can look her directly in the eye. "Felicity, there is _nothing_ wrong with you."

"Isn't there? I mean I'm not so sure there isn't at this point. Look at me, months away from the wedding of my dreams and my husband-to-be up and leaves saying I'm not-" she holds back another round of tears- "I'm not who he wants to marry. And you know maybe he's right, maybe I'm not meant to have a happily ever after. I'll just die alone."

"Felicity you're not gonna die alone."

"Yes I am."

"Felicity-"

"I'll die right here on this couch surrounded by my cats."

"You don't have any cats."

"I'll adopt some. And they'll be here when I die. They'll walk all over my dead, lifeless body like some kind of-"

Oliver cuts her off with his lips. He can't stand it, her thinking so little of herself. Felicity is the most amazing person he has ever met and he can't stand listening to her talk like that. He's about to pull away and tell her that when suddenly...she's responding to the kiss. Felicity, his best friend, Felicity, the one he's known for years, is pressing her soft lips firmly against his. And her hand is snaking up to his chest.

He knows she's in a vulnerable place and that she literally just broke up with Ray and that she and he are just friends and he doesn't want to take advantage of the situation but then her top lip is in between his and she sucks his bottom lip into her mouth.  
Suddenly all ration thought—and thoughts in general—leave his mind, along with all the reasons why they _shouldn't_ be doing this, and all he knows is he wants her, needs her, _now._

As she sucks his lip, nipping at it, his mouth opens up in a moan. She takes the opportunity to let go of his lip and explore the inside of his mouth. His hands wrap around her, pulling her closer, as their tongues meet. She grips the collar of his sweater harder as their tongues fight and their teeth clash.

She's on his lap now, knees on either side of him, straddling him, as he sucks her tongue into his mouth. The loud smacking of their mouths against one another fills her small apartment. She breaks free for air and he follows her, biting down on her lower lip. She throws her head back in a moan, exposing her neck to him and he can't resist. He kisses and sucks his way down her neck, taking small breaks behind her ear and on her collar bone. As he goes down further he meets the edge of her tank top and pulls the material lower to continue and leaves an uninterrupted trail of kisses and hicks down her creamy flesh.

She watches him in fascination, his razor sharp focus at the task at hand. When he reaches the swell of her breast he keeps his lips latched onto her skin as his eyes flicker up to her. Her hooded gaze meets his and he keeps it as he continues to suck at the taut skin beneath his lips. Her lips part as she watches him, transfixed, and he raises his thumb to trace along her bottom lip, where a bruise is beginning to form. She traps his thumb between her lips and starts sucking. His eyes darken and she licks the pad of his thumb soothingly as she sucks it further into her mouth. She lets it go with a pop and he attacks her lips. Their faces meet with a new fury.

"Bedroom," she gasps against him as she grinds her center into his growing erection. He has no protest, _yes ma'm._

He tucks his hands under her ass, _that delicious ass_ , and gives her cheeks a firm pitch. She yelps and he lifts her straight up, reattaching his mouth to hers. She wraps her legs around his waist tightly, locking her ankles on his lower back, and he carries her to her towards the bedroom.

Their tongues continue to fight with each other and Felicity changes the angle while yanking on the hair at the nape of his neck.

The act causes Oliver to thrust his hips up into her. She responds in full, rubbing her pelvis against his, hard. Oliver has to take a moment. He pushes Felicity up against a wall in the hallway and attempts to put some space between them to relieve the tension. Felicity isn't having any of that, her body follows his and the arm around his neck tugs him closer.  


"Felicity," he grounds out, warning clear in his voice. They won't make it to the bedroom if she keeps doing that.

"Please." She pants out against his cheek, her lips moving to his jaw and under his chin.

He shudders against her, her begging and the feel of her teeth pulling at the stubble on his face isn't helping his control any.

He takes a hand from under her and puts it on her shoulder, pushing her back into the wall. In the dark of the hallway, the only light coming from her living room barely touching them, she looks at him. With her eyes hooded, her brows pulled together in confusion, her hair messy, and her lips plump and swollen, he swears she's never looked more perfect. He stores the memory and, anticipating the on coming slaughter of questions, preemptively silences her by moving his lips back to hers. He moves his hand from her shoulder down to the waistband of her sweatpants. He peeks his hand in and feels the lace of her underwear. She gasps as his fingers travel further down. He groans as he feels the material covering her entrance is damp. He expertly pushes it to the side and slides a single finger down her slit to better feel her wetness.

She shivers at that, their lips still desperately and firmly attached.

Then, without preamble, Oliver pushes a finger into her. It's Felicity's turn to groan. And after two pumps Oliver adds a second and then a third.

Felicity moans loudly into his mouth and Oliver swallows it as he pumps three fingers in and out of her. He's licking and nipping at her lips and Felicity is scratching at the short hairs at his neck, holding on to him and trying to get him closer.

Then Oliver curls his fingers inside of her and she yelps, throwing her head against the wall. He simply attaches his lips back to her neck and continues his path down her skin. When he reaches her tank top he doesn't stop, finding her nipple and sucking it through the material. Felicity pants above him as he continues to lick and suck at the material clad breast. She starts to hop impatiently on his fingers and Oliver uses his thumb to circle her clit.

Felicity stops her movements as another shudder runs through her. Oliver doesn't let up, circling and pumping all while sucking the material covering her breast. He looks up to see her face twisted up in pleasure and he can see she needs more to push her over the edge.

Oliver makes sure that her legs are securely wrapped around him and that she is pressed tight against the wall. Oliver moves the hand holding Felicity's butt, not before kneading it quickly which causes Felicity to moan, and moves it to her tank top. He pushes the material down and pulls out her breast.

He takes the hardening pebble into his mouth. Felicity looks down at the wonderful sight: Oliver, his mouth around her nipple and hand between her legs. He catches her staring and pushes his fingers deeper into her.

"Shit." Felicity hisses, and they can both tell she's close. Oliver begins to rub his thumb faster and harder against her. And when he bites down on her nipple while curling his fingers in just the right way she lets out a strangled gasp.

Oliver can feel her walls fluttering around his fingers. Her chest is heaving and her eyes are shut tight while her mouth hangs open.

Oliver continues to pump his fingers into her while her walls still flutter. He can feel her legs starting to loosen their grip around him and he moves his hands underneath her again. He moves them away from the wall and when she slides down on him a little her center makes contact with his erection. They both groan out at the feel and suddenly Felicity regains strength on her grip on him.

Oliver knows he needs to get them to the bedroom soon. Felicity's deft little hand makes its way between them and undoes the button of his jeans. He's about to give her another warning when the next thing he knows her warm little hand is wrapped around him in a vice grip.

He almost drops her and takes her there and then in the dark hallway. Instead he takes a deep breath and tightens his grip on her ass. She bites her lip as she looks at him under her lashes. And _fuck him_ how can she be so cute and sexy at the same time like that?

He joins her in bitting her lip as he moves them into her bedroom as quickly and carefully as he can.

Once inside he deposits her on the bed. Their bodies separate for the first time except her hand is still in his pants.

She squeezes him in her hand and he drops his head in a groan.

She unzips his pants and pulls him out. He catches her stare of wonder at him erect and straining in front of her. Oliver takes advantage of her awestruck state to help her remove her tank top. And with her chest bare in front of him he notices that while her left breast is wet and red from his ministrations, her right one hasn't revived any attention at all. He decides to remedy that immediately.

Before Felicity can make a single move he attaches himself onto her chest once again, pushing her back onto the bed. She tugs at his shirt and he detaches himself from her body long enough to help her pull his shirt over his head before his lips are back on her chest. She arches into his mouth and her nails scratch a path from the crown of his head to the base. As he sucks her breast into his mouth, he pinches the other one, rolling the nipple between his thumb and finger. She whimpers in response and thrusts her hips up. That seems to remind her that she still has her sweats on and reaches down to removed them. Oliver mets her hands there and helps her, removing her underwear along with them, pausing to palm her center. She shivers at that and uses her bare feet to push his own pants and boxers off his hips and down his legs. With their bodies naked and pressed against one another she rubs against him, making him slick with her juices.

"Mmm, please." She whispers underneath him and once again her begging is his undoing. He lets go of her nipple and moves to lavash her mouth, which she responds to greedily. He takes his cock into his hand and lines himself up with her entrance as she wraps her legs around his waist.

He lets go of her lips to look at her face. "Ready?" He asks, his dick twitching to be inside of her.

She bits her lip and nods quickly.

He lines them up and slides right home.

"Oh god," she gasps. And he drops his head to her neck because 'oh god' is right. She feels so good, tight and warm and welcoming, around him. He has to physically fight the urge to pound into her repeatedly without a second thought. With his head resting on her shoulder, he gives her a moment to adjust and gives himself a moment to regain his control.

She wiggles under him and if that isn't incentive enough to move, she then drops her leg on to the bed and thrusts up to him.

_Damnnit._ He moves his hand to her hip to keep her in place and moves his head back to watch her as he pulls back, almost all the way, and thrusts _hard_ into her. Her eyes almost roll back and she hisses out a near silent yes. That is all he needs before pulling back and pushing into her once again, and again, and again, until he has a rhythm going. A rhythm she clearly seems to enjoy, pushing her hips up to meet him thrust for thrust.

He plants his knees and tightens the grip on her hip as he thrusts harder and further into her. She digs her nails into his back and groans out when he hits a particularly deep spot insider her. They start kissing again, desperate and wet and sloppy as their bottom halves meet in loud smacks.

Felicity presses her nails insistently into his back as she moves her mouth to his ear.

" _Faster._ " She commands, her voice throaty.

Oliver takes the leg not around his waist and bends it forward, using it as leverage as he slams into Felicity, fast.

Breath escapes her lungs and before she can catch it he does it again. And again.

Felicity's head moves back and forth on the pillow and her breath comes out in short desperate pants. Her other leg hitches up higher on his back.

Oliver can feel a tightening in his stomach and a tingle at the base of his spine, he knows he won't be able to last much longer.

"Come on Felicity, let go." He whispers, pulling her earlobe between his teeth. His hand moves to rub small fast circles on her clit and Felicity's eyes flash open.

Her mouth opens in a silent cry as her walls clamp down on him. Her orgasm triggers his own, her walls milking him and he can barely get two more pumps in before her body is sucking him into her.

He falls on top of her, their chests heaving and lower bodies still connected.

Not long after, sleep claims both of them. 

* * *

Oliver wakes to the sound of a cabinet closing and the smell of flowers. He lifts his head and looks around. No Felicity.

He's laying on his stomach, completely naked and wrapped in sheets that are not his own. He hears the wood floor creak.

He turns his neck back to see Felicity standing at the doorway of her bedroom. Her lips are a darker shade of red than usual and her hair is down instead of in its typical ponytail. She holds a jacket in her hand.

"Yeah." He replies, his voice tight from sleep.

"Uh, I, um, picked up your clothes and put them there." She points to where his clothes lay folded in small pile at the foot of her bed.

"Oh...thanks." He pushes himself up further.

She presses her lips tight together and they can both feel the awkward air around them.

He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out.

"I have to go to work. They called and something came up so I'm headed out." She pulls the jacket on and flips her out. "But, um, there's coffee in the kitchen and, uh, you can help yourself to whatever else."

He nods, feeling like stranger in this familiar setting.

She nods as well and moves into the hallways before stepping back. "Oliver?"

"Yes?"

"Could you not telling anyone about the whole Ray thing? I need to figure out how I'm going to tell people."

"Oh course."

She smiles, not wholeheartedly or full but it's a smile nonetheless so Oliver takes it.

"Thanks. I really got to go."

"Bye Felicity."

She gives him a small wave and when he hears her front door open and close he throws his head back into the pillow.


	2. Something Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! The response this story has gotten has really been overwhelming, and in such a short time! I am so surprised and humbled. Sorry this one took a little long, I've been busy this past week. I'm hoping to post a chapter a week so I'm able to stay on top of it. Special thank you to my wonderful beta ExcellentlyEllen :)  
> Thanks and enjoy!

It had been three days. Three days since that night at Felicity's apartment. And there hasn't been a single moment since, that Oliver doesn't replay those night's events in his head. Over and over and over again. It's giving him a headache. But if he's being honest with himself, he enjoys it. He wouldn't stop thinking about it even if he could.

He doesn't quite understand it. It doesn't make any sense. He and Felicity are friends, they had been since he spilled that drink on her at a party his sophomore year of college. And since that incident Oliver had never stopped to think of the possibility of her being anything more than a friend. But after the other night...everything changed.

Oliver sighs and drops his head into his hands. He and Felicity still haven't talked about that night. He knows they really should but he can't even think of what to say. It's obvious that in her distressed state and in his attempt to comfort her, they crossed a line. He knows that. But he can't bring himself to regret anything from that night. And that scares him the most.

"Why so glum Ollie?" Oliver turns around at the sound of his sister's voice. Thea approaches him with a worried look.

He forces a smile. "Don't know whatcha' talking about Speedy."

She places her clipboard down next to him at the bar and crosses her arms over her chest, giving him a pointed look. Clearly he's not fooling her.

He hops up from his stool. "I gotta go back to The Gambit." He tells her, throwing some cash down at the bar to pay for the drink he barely touched.

"Ollie, is there something you need to talk about?" Thea takes a step closer to him as he puts his wallet back into his pocket.

Oliver puts his hand on his sister's shoulder. "Nope. Promise." He kisses the top of her head. "I really do have to go though. The club looks great by the way." He says as he looks around Verdant, eying the freshly painted walls and the nearly finished balcony.

"Thanks. It's getting there. I just hope it's all done in time for Felicity's reception."

He gulps at that. There won't be a reception. And although there is a part of him that feels badly, for Felicity's heartbreak, there's another smaller part of him, growing in size every day, that is glad. But why, he does know.

"I'll see you later, kay?" Thea smiles and nods, picking up her clipboard and returning to a group of construction workers that await her instructions by the dance floor.

* * *

Oliver parks his motorcycle outside The Gambit. The Gambit was once a steel factory in The Glades owned by his family's business. But after a devastating earthquake, that part of the city had been nearly destroyed and most of the businesses and shops in the area had been closed or abandoned. The steel factory included.

After Oliver graduated college with his business degree, and after a multitude of internships, he decided that the corporate world just wasn't for him. So he bought the steel factory and turned it into a gym, hoping to bring in revenue and revive the dying neighborhood. And it worked. More and more shops started reopening their doors and the city helped clean up the streets. The Gambit wasn't always crowded but they were profitable, and in tough economic times that's really all Oliver can ask for.

As he walks into the gym Oliver can hear the sound of flesh hitting mats and turns the corner to find his employee, Ted, demonstrating to a client how to successfully put someone in a sleeper hold.

"Afternoon, Grant." Oliver greets as he walks past the demonstration.

Ted looks up from his place on the mat and nods in return. "Queen."

Oliver makes his way to his office in the back of the gym and places his duffle bag on a seat in front of his desk.

He picks up folders on his desk that are filled with papers and have a post-it in the front. He reads the post-it, from his employee Carrie, informing him the folder's continents are the gym's profits for the fiscal year.

Oliver drops it back on his desk and turns to hang his coat in the small closet he has there.

"Hey man," Oliver turns to see his best friend and business partner by the door.

"Diggle." He greets the man, and co-owner of the gym, as he takes a seat at his desk.

"What's up?"

Diggle walks into the room. "Bertinelli called again today. He's really adamant about sitting down with us to talk about expanding. He wants to open up a Gambit in Central City and Bludhaven, probably even Coast City too."

Oliver sighs. "But we've had this discussion with him already, we're not going to franchise. He knows that."

"You're preaching to the choir here," Diggle pulls out the seat not occupied by the duffle bag and sits down, "but he's being very insistent. Says he has a new idea that will change our minds on the matter."

Oliver runs his hand down his face. "What do you think, should we hear him out?" 

Oliver met John Diggle right as he got out of college and they quickly formed a brotherly hbond. When Oliver mentioned to John his idea to make the steel factory into a gym, John had been on board right away. The two had been partners ever since. Oliver trusts him implicitly, with pretty much everything in his life.

John folds his hands in front of him. "I don't think it'll hurt to hear him out. Especially if it gets him off our backs, even for a little while."

Oliver nods and picks up the stacks of paper in front of him. "Alright then I'll have Carrie call his people, set up a date."

"You alright man?" Diggle asks, leaning forward.

"Well I'm not exactly thrilled at the prospect of listening to another one of Frank Bertinelli's 'ground breaking' business pitches, if that's what you mean."

"It's not." Diggle's words make Oliver pause.

"I'm fine." He says, putting the papers in a stack.

"Is that what you told Thea?"

"Since when do you and my sister talk?"

"We don't. Not really. She called the other day looking for you; I told her you'd left already. She said she was worried about you, said you'd been a little off the last few days."

Oliver looks down, fiddling with his pen. "Don't know why she's worrying, like I said, I'm fine."

"Does this have anything to do with that phone call you got the other day that had you running out of here like a bat out of hell?" Oliver's eyes snap to his. "I'm going to take that as a yes."

"You saw that?"

"Oliver, man, you know you can tell me anything, right? You can trust me."

Oliver sets his pen down, leaning back in his chair, eyes on the ceiling.

"You gotta tell somebody about what's bothering you."

With his eyes still on the ceiling, Oliver replies, "I don't know if I can."

Diggle doesn't respond to that. Oliver looks back at him. The man looks as if awaiting an explanation, his arms crossed and face set.

Oliver shakes his head and leans forward on his desk. "It's about Felicity."

Diggle looks surprised at that. "What about her?"

"She called me the other night, upset, so I went to go see her and...something...happened between us."

Diggle's eyebrows shoot up to the sky. "Define 'something happened'. What about Ray?"

"Palmer's not really in the picture anymore—don't ask me to explain that because I can't, not right now, just take my word for it—and I mean Felicity and I, uh, slept together..."

Diggle's expression remains intact and Oliver charges on. "And it was really, it didn't really...it wasn't a big deal. I mean I was trying to comfort her and then we were...well yeah. But I don't know why I haven't been able to stop thinking about it and-" Oliver pauses, Diggle's expression having morphed into something entirely different, "And why are you looking at me like that?"

Diggle shakes his head as his grin grows. "Oliver, you're kind of an idiot. Did you know that?"

"I don't understand, what are you talking about?"

"Have you never slept with Felicity before?"

"What? No. You know this, we're just friends. Why would you even ask that?"

Diggle puts his hands up, palms out, in surrender. "Sorry, I just know your history with women. And with the way you two are around each other....Can you really blame me?"

"Diggle I have no idea what you're talking about." Oliver feels more confused than ever as he looks at his friend, questioning.

Diggle just shakes his head and rests his elbow on the edge on the desk. "Do you even have any idea how long you've been in love with Felicity?"

Oliver balks at that. "What?"

Diggle smiles wider.

"John why are you saying that? I'm not...I'm not _in love_ with Felicity. That's ridiculous."

"Oh, is it?"

"Yes it is."

"Ok." He brings his other elbow forward, resting both his arms flat on the desk's surface. "I've known you for, what, three, four years?"

"Yes."

"And you've known Felicity for twice that, right?"

Oliver nods slowly, not sure where this is going.

"In the time that I've known you I've seen you have one night stands, random flings and a serious girlfriend. I've seen you go on dates with almost everyone Lyla and I have tried to set you up with. And from the more successful ones to the most disastrous ones I have never seen you interact with anyone the way you do with Felicity."

Oliver tilts his head at that.

"It's like with her you're a more relaxed, just happier version of yourself."

"Well, she's one of my closest friends."

Diggle smiles, " _I'm_ one of your closest friends and if you ever looked at me the way you look at Felicity, I'd be seriously worried. Hell, Lyla would be worried."

"I.." Oliver doesn't know what to say to that.

"I just always assumed you guys dated for a while and then had to stop because of some external factors. I mean you guys just have a level of familiarity and comfort that comes from being more than just friends with someone. I figured it had to be because you guys had been intimate some point."

"No....never." Oliver whispers in fascination. Because honestly, now that Diggle's bringing it up, how had it never occurred to him before?

"Well I'm not the only one who thinks so."

Oliver looks back to Diggle. "No?"

"Nope." He replies, sitting back in this chair. "It was one of the first things Lyla asked me after she meet you two. Honestly I think everyone gets that impression when they're around you and Felicity. I mean it's kinda the only thing that makes any sense."

"Huh." Oliver looks at his hands, processing the new information.

"Oh, come on. Are you telling me you've never thought of it? Even in college?"

Oliver shakes his head. "No, I really didn't."

Diggle scoffs. "I can't believe that."

"I'm serious Diggle."

John eyes him skeptically. "What was your first reaction when Felicity told you she was engaged to Palmer?"

"I was happy that she was happy."

"No, I mean what was your initial gut response to Palmer?"

"That he was good guy with good-"

"Oliver. Don't bullshit me. I'm serious, gut reaction."

Oliver sighs in defeat. "Fine. I didn't understand it. I mean Ray's nice and everything but...no spine, you know? I thought Felicity deserved better than that. A guy with some backbone. Someone that could stand up for her if she needed it. Someone who could hold his own in a fight if it came to that."

"Someone who owns a gym, for instance?"

Oliver gives him a pointed look and Diggle smiles at it.

"So what's stopping you now?" Oliver's eyebrows knot together so Diggle elaborates, "I mean from going after Felicity? Now that you've finally acknowledged your feelings for her-" 

"I didn't acknowledge anything."

Diggle's smile deepens. "Right, of course not. I mean now that you two have slept together, you guys gotta admit something's there. Right? People don't just sleep together without some sort of connection, especially not people like Felicity. You guys should really talk about it. Especially if Palmer's out of the picture like you say."

Oliver stares at the papers on his desk, not seeing them. Instead he's picturing a particular spectacled blond and what she would say to all this.

"Just food for thought." John says, getting up from the chair and pushing it back toward the desk.

Oliver just nods as the man makes his way out of the office. Oliver strokes his chin thoughtfully as John's words echo in his head.

And they continue to do so all day. While Oliver sits at his desk going over the gym's earnings all he can think about are John's words. Same thing happens when he strips down into his sweats and takes out his frustration on the punching bags towards the front of the gym. Or when Carrie gives him the confirmation for his business dinner with Frank Bertinelli. He's only half there, half paying attention, half listening. The other half of him is back at Felicity's apartment. Holding her small body in his arms. Fingers combing through her soft hair. Quieting her cries with his lips. Running his tongue down the expanse of her neck. Hearing her cry out for completely different reasons. Getting lost in her lust filled eyes. Feeling the-

"Oliver!"

Oliver jumps, his reprieve interrupted.

"Woah man, you looked really lost in thought there." Ted comments, his body half in the doorway and half in the hallway.

"Yeah, I was. Sorry. What did you need?"

"Just letting you know I'm headed out for the night. Carrie already locked up the back and put all the equipment away."

"Alright, good."

"Ok. See you tomorrow?"

"Yes. Tomorrow. Goodnight Ted."

"Night boss."

Ted leaves with that. Leaving Oliver with this thoughts jumbled and after a quick look at the clock on the wall he notes he should probably head home as well.

Oliver separates the files on his desk into two piles. What he got done today and what he was too preoccupied to even look at. His slips on his coat and turns off the lamp on his desk. As he locks up his office he gives the gym a quick once over before going out through the front door.

* * *

The drive back to his place is short. Oliver is grateful for that, he can't afford to be so mentally preoccupied while on his motorcycle. Once he enters his apartment, he drops his keys on the nearby counter and sees his answering machine flashing a red number 2. He presses the button while walking to the fridge to pull out a Gatorade.

"First unheard message. Oliver, this is your mother. I just wanted to make sure that you and Thea will make it to brunch this weekend at the mansion. Your father and I would really like to see the two of you. So please, do your best to make sure you can make it, okay? Family time is important. Love you. Bye."

Oliver whips his mouth with the back of his hand and shrugs off his jacket.

"Second unheard message. Hey man!" Oliver smiles at the sound of his friend's voice. Tommy had been his best friend growing up and all throughout college. But Tommy left after graduation to oversee his father's business's branch in China. And although the two had stayed in touch as best they could, it just wasn't the same. "Alright so I'm flying in a month earlier so I won't miss any of the festivities. But don't tell Felicity, I want it to be a surprise. Do you know if this guy's having a bachelor party? What's his name? Ray? Do you know where it's gonna be at? I mean I know I haven't been in Starling for a while but we did some damage in our day and I still know all the good places from that time. Alright well, I'll talk to you later, I mean it's probably like what, 10 at night over there?"

Oliver tenses at the mention of the wedding. Well, the supposed wedding. He wonders if Felicity has told anyone yet. Her mother, maybe? He shakes his head. No, definitely not Donna. Maybe she told Caitlin, her friend from work.

He downs the rest of his Gatorade and walks over to the bathroom. He strips off his shirt, letting it fall to the floor. He opens the shower door and messes with the nobs until water streams out. He leaves the door open and takes off his pants and boxer, a pile accumulating on the floor. When the mirror starts to fog up he knows the water is ready and steps in.

After the shower Oliver can feel his exhaustion, both physical and mental. He barely pulls on sweat pants before he's falling onto his bed, on top of the sheets.

* * *

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" The crowd around him chants. Oliver laughs as his best friend Tommy finally gets down from his keg stand and the crowd erupts in cheers and whistles. A couple people high-five him and pat his back as he makes his way back to Oliver.

"Ha! I beat your time, in your face!" Tommy exclaims, standing in front of Oliver, throwing his hands up in victory.

Oliver chuckles behind his beer. "Alright, easy there. You _barely_ beat me. And I didn't want to show you up too badly. I mean this is your school after all.

It was 2009 and they were at a Harvard party. Oliver was visiting Tommy from Boston College and it was Halloween. So of course they were at a costume party.

Tommy nods quickly. "Yeah I'm sure that's why I beat you so badly. That has to be it." 

He makes an attempt to move on his wobbly feet but loses his balance and has to hold onto a counter top for support. "Shit. Don't tell Laurel I drank this much tonight. She'll kill me if she finds out."

Oliver snorts and takes another sip of his beer. He doubts Tommy's girlfriend will jump on a plane from Stanford and come all the way over here just to kick his ass but he nods anyways. "I won't man, promise. But we should find you somewhere to sit down."

Tommy nods and straightens. They make their way through the crowded party, weaving their way around groups of people dancing or drinking. Oliver spots an empty place on a couch on the other side of the room. He pulls Tommy towards it, but with a little too much force because then Tommy's weight lands on him and next thing he knows his drink is all over this girl he just bumped into.

"Oh shit, I'm really sorry." He sees the angry beer stain down the front of her green dress and just _knows _that's not coming out.__

The girl, a blonde, looks down at her ruined dress at then back up at him. Her eyes hold confusion but the set of her mouth betrays her anger. Anger that tints her cheeks. 

"Let me help you clean that."

"It's fine." She mutters, running her single napkin down the front of her dress. But Oliver knows that won't accomplish anything. "No really, please let me. I feel really bad." She looks back up at him. "Let me just set my friend down, he's pretty drunk."

"Am not!" Tommy says behind him, sounding like a five year old. He peeks over Oliver's shoulder. "Who's the blonde?" He asks, seeming to notice her for the first time. "She's cute. Her dress is wet though."

Oliver slaps his hand to his forehead, running it down his face. He's about to apologize for Tommy's behavior when the blonde giggles. He snaps his eyes up at her. He likes that sound. 

"I'm Felicity." She holds her hand out.

And Tommy makes a show of kissing it and bowing, almost falling over again, before responding. "I'm Tommy. This is Ollie."

Oliver cringes at the old nickname.

The blonde nods, smiling at Tommy's theatrics.

"I really need to set him down." Oliver explains making his way to the couch and depositing Tommy on it before returning to the blond. "Now, let me help you with that?" He points at her drenched outfit.

She sighs. "Sure. Why not?"

He leads her through the party, pausing at the kitchen to get a roll of paper towels and soap. He leads her to the balcony. It's spacious enough and there's only a few people in the corner smoking. Oliver opens the cooler on the floor and moves his hand around until he finds a water bottle. He uncaps it and pours some water on one of the paper towels. He puts the soap on it and rubs it together until it lathers then moves to press the towel onto the girl's dress.

"So Ollie, huh?"

He looks up to see her looking at him intently. "Oliver, actually. I'm not really fond of that nickname."

"Ah, Oliver." She nods. "Yeah that suits you better."

He smirks and discards the paper towel, starting on a new one.

"So do you go to school here?"

He shakes his head, eyes focus on the task of soaping up the paper towel. "No actually I'm attending Boston College. Tommy, you met him in there, he goes to school here. He's an old friend. I'm just visiting for the week."

He presses the paper towel into her dress. She stops him. "I can do that." He lets go of the paper towel and starts preparing another one.

"What are you studying at Boston College?" She asks, scrubbing her dress. Oliver puts the cap back on the water bottle and looks at her. _Inquisitive little thing._

At his silence she looks up and meets his gaze. Seeming to understand the look in his eyes, she quickly back peddles. "I'm sorry, I'm bombarding you with questions. You don't have to answer them."

"No, it's fine." He smiles. "I'm working towards a business degree. My parents want me to take over the family business so I'm just preparing for that."

"You don't seem too thrilled at the prospect." She notes, the paper towel long forgotten.

He opens his mouth, ready to defend himself, but then he catches the look on her face. Her face is so open, so _understanding_. He can't bring himself to lie to this perfect stranger. He sighs in defeat. "I'm not. You know for the longest time that's all I knew about myself, that one day I was going to take over the business and live up to the family name. I mean ever since I was little my dad would take me into work with him and I would watch as everybody regarded him with such respect and praise. I saw people come to him to solve all their problems. I saw him interact with people from all different aspects of the business. And at the end of every day he would turn to me and ask me if I paid attention and then assure me that one day it would be me in his place." He takes a seat on the folding chair next to him and she hops up onto the railing of the balcony.

"And for the longest time I was fine with it, I accepted it. I knew my future was set and the decisions were made for me and it didn't really bother me because that was so far ahead in the future I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. Not really. And now I'm here, learning about the trade. And each day I get closer and closer to taking my 'rightful place' at the head of the Queen family business. And every day that I get closer to that, I'm less and less sure it's what I want. I mean I never picked it, it was just kind of given to me, thrust upon me more like it, and I don't think I would have ever even entertained the idea otherwise."

"What would you have picked?" She asks, locking her ankles together and swinging them back and forth.

He looks up at her. Her eyes glimmering in the moonlight. This girl he's barely met already knows more about him than most people.

"I don't know."

* * *

Oliver wakes up, alert and on edge. Somewhere in the depths of his sleep he's come to a realization: Felicity is more than just a friend.

Whether or not he's in love with her, like Diggle claims, he's not sure of yet. But the memory of the first time they met proves to Oliver that Felicity has always been more than just a friend. She's always known him more than just a friend and she's always been more important to him than just a friend.

He doesn't really quite know what he's feeling or what to call it but he has to see Felicity right away. They have to talk, that much he does know.

With that in mind he gets up and gets ready. He brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He stops at the kitchen to grab an apple, his nerves too fired up to let him really eat anything.

He's overcome with a sense of déjà vu as he rides his motorcycle to Felicity's place. He's in a hurry but can't break all the traffic rules he did just a few nights ago. So he forces himself to be patient. The bike roars to a stop in front of her apartment. He notes how different it looks, from the last time he was here, now that it's bathed in daylight.

He leaves his helmet hanging on the handle of his bike and jogs up the steps to her door, knocking on it. He waits, wringing his hands. Damn, he really is nervous, he notes. 

But then the door is pulled open and Oliver smiles, his chest feeling lighter. She's in a purple dress and her hair is in a tight ponytail, high on her head.

"Oliver." She says, surprise evident in her voice.

"Hi, Felicity." He breathes and she fixes the glasses on the bridge of her nose.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk?" He's about to take a step closer when movement behind her shoulder catches his eye.

Before he can process it, a man moves into view in Felicity's living room.

"Oliver! What a surprise." The man says cheerfully, stepping closer. "To what do we own the pleasure?"

Oliver's stomach drops. "Palmer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked that and continue to find this story interesting. From now on flashbacks will be included in every chapter so you get to see the beginning of Oliver and Felicity's relationship. I hope I've made it obvious what's a flashback.  
> Comments and questions direct them below :)
> 
> Talk to me on tumblr: katanabaabe


	3. Wedding Jitters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!  
> I'm still floored by the response this story is getting :)  
> People were commenting how they like that this is in Oliver's POV which is funny cuz in this chapter you get Felicity's. And a continuation of last chapter's flashback.  
> Without further ado, enjoy.

"Palmer." Oliver wonders if his voices sounds as tight to them as it does to him. He wonders if they can see how tense and rigid his posture suddenly became. One look at a Felicity and he knows the change in his demeanor isn't lost on her. 

Ray comes closer, placing a hand on Felicity's shoulder and Oliver has to clench his fist. 

"Aw come on Oliver, I can't with all the formalities. I told you to call me Ray." He smiles, completely oblivious to the tension around them. 

Oliver gives him a tight smile and a curt nod in return. "Ray."

Felicity turns back to look at Ray. "Sweetie, could you give us a sec?" She asks and Oliver's jaw tenses at the term of endearment. 

"Yeah, of course, hon." He presses a kiss to her temple and waves at Oliver before making his way into the hallway. 

The second he's out of earshot Felicity pushes Oliver back and follows him outside, closing the door behind her. 

"What the hell was that?" Oliver wants to explode, his hands grasping at his short hair in exasperation. 

"Hey! Keep your voice down." She points at him and checks the apartment behind her. 

"Felicity you got to tell me what's going on. I don't...I don't get it. I thought you said..." He's pacing in front of her, gesturing wildly at her apartment. 

Felicity sighs and puts her hands out in front of her, palms out. "I know. Look, it's complicated."

"Complicated." He snorts, rolling his eyes. 

She gives him a hard look. "Yes, complicated." He continues to pace in front of her and she looks back at her home. "And I can't talk about this right now."

"We have a lot to talk about Felicity."

"I know and we will. But I'm telling you I can't right now."

"Then when? It's been four days and I'm going out of my mind." He steps closer to her, invading her personal space. 

"Tomorrow. Meet me inside Jitters at ten o'clock. Okay? We'll talk then." She looks up into his eyes and they're caught in a tangle of blue. 

The air around them is still charged, but with a different kind of tension. Felicity gulps loudly and bites her lip. Oliver's eyes zero in on the act and his hand comes up involuntarily to pull her lip from her teeth. His thumb smooths over the lip and he notices she's wearing her normal shade of bright pink lipstick again. With her hair up he can see very faint marks running down her neck and into her dress. The remnants of all the hickeys he left on her skin. It makes him lick his lips. He wants to taste her skin again. 

The ringing of Oliver's phone is like a bucket of cold water being dumped on them. They both step away from each other. 

"Tomorrow ten o'clock." He tells her and she nods quickly, slightly flushed. 

Oliver makes his way down the stairs. He puts the phone to his ear. "Yes?"

"Gee. Good morning to you too Ollie."

"Thea, what do you want?" He sighs, reaching his motorcycle and removing the helmet. 

"Just calling to check if you got mom's message. She called me like twice already."

He turns back to look at her apartment but Felicity is gone, nowhere to be seen. "Yeah I got it." He assures his sister, throwing his leg over the bike. 

* * *

"What would you have picked?" Felicity asks, swinging her legs. It's Halloween night and she's sitting on the banister of a balcony of a frat house in a school she doesn't attend. Sara told her it'd be fun so she threw on an outfit and showed up. Now the night air is making goosebumps arise all up her arms and down her legs. 

The boy looks up, the question seems to catch him off guard. 

"I don't know." He answers honestly. And Felicity gets the impression that he isn't usually this honest with himself. "I guess I always liked the way my dad's employees look at him, that respect, that admiration. I want that but I don't want to work at such a high corporate level where everyone becomes just a number, just another clog in the machine. I want to be able to create real connections, real relationships with the people I work with. I want to be approachable and not this figure looming above them. I want to own my own business but I don't want to lose my soul in the process." He looks up at her then and she really shouldn't be able to tell how blue his eyes are in the dark of night. But she can. The bright vibrant blue pull her in and she realizes she has been leaning in ever since he started talking. She shakes her head and sits up straighter, hoping to break the spell.

The boy does the same thing and breaths out a short laugh. "What about you Felicity?" The sound of her name on his lips brings her up short. She's surprised he remembers it. 

"What about me?"

"Do you go to school here?"

"No. I go to MIT. My best friend Sara convinced me to come, she knows the guy throwing the party." At the mention of Sara she hops off the railing. "Which reminds me I should probably get back in there and find her. She's either worried sick looking for me or doing body shots. One or the other." The boy laughs at that and Felicity thinks it's a musical sound. 

He stands up too. "I am really sorry about your dress. What are you supposed to be anyway?"

She looks down at herself, isn't it obvious? "Tinkerbell." Her dress is the perfect shade of green and cut jaggedly mid-thigh and her hair is in a tight bun. Sara thought it was too conservative but Felicity disagreed. She sees Oliver eyeing her in confusion and she moves to elaborate. "You know Disney, Peter Pan. She's this little fairy that flies around with him. Actually she's the reason he can fly. She can make anything fly. She just shakes and dust comes out. She doesn't talk though. At least she's not supposed to but then they started making these dumb movies where-" The sound of his laughter cuts her off and she looks at him questioning. 

He smiles. "I know who Tinkerbell is, I have younger sister, it's just... Aren't you supposed to having wings?"

Oh. That. "I had to take them off. They almost took out some frat guy's eye. He wasn't happy about that, frat boys are really sensitive like that."

"I'm a frat boy."

"I rest my case."

She smiles. He smirks. 

"And what exactly are you supposed to be?" She gestures to his outfit. 

He looks down at himself and then back at her. "I'm a GI Joe."

"Huh." She takes in his combat boots, camouflage pants and black t-shirt. She doesn't see how it's different from any other generic army guy outfit. 

"I lost all my weapons to a pack of sorority girls inside." He explains. 

She nods. "And your friend? He's supposed to be...?"

"Farris Buller."

"Ah, explains the vest."

"Speaking of Tommy, I should go in and make sure he's still alive."

She laughs at that and he extends his hand. "It was really nice to meet you Felicity."

"Likewise Oliver."

* * *

Felicity closes the door to her apartment and leans up against it. She hears the roar of Oliver's motorcycle, signaling his departure. She rests her forehead on the wood of the door and wants to slam her head against it. What the hell is happening? Why is her life becoming such a mess? 

"Felicity?" She jumps at the sound of her name and attempts to compose herself before turning around. 

Ray looks slightly concern. "Everything alright?"

She fixes her features into a smile. "Yes, everything, everything is great. Oliver just needed..." She darts her eyes around the room, looking for an excuse, and lands on a picture of them from four years ago in Cobo during spring break. "Oliver just needed help with Thea. Girl stuff, it's nothing." She assures him, waving her hand dismissively. 

"Oh." He accepts the lie, which Felicity is torn about, and smiles. "So what are you feeling for breakfast? Omelet or fruit salad?"

"I'm not really feeling hungry, honey." Felicity isn't sure she can get any food into her stomach with all the knots currently residing there. 

"Nonsense." He shakes his head. "It's important to start every day with a healthy meal." He walks into the kitchen and starts opening cabinets and taking out pans. 

"Ray, you really don't have to make anything."

"Felicity I am going to make you breakfast every morning for the rest of our lives." He puts everything down and places his hands down on the table top, leaning towards her. "It's just another way for me to never stop showing how sorry I am."

She looks down guilty and scratches her arm before waking over to him. "I just don't understand why you didn't tell me."

"I was just really overwhelmed. And if I said it out loud then it became real and I was desperately trying to hold onto my denial." He pulls a cartoon of eggs out of the refrigerator and turns to look at her. "But I'm back now and I promise I will never run away from you again. From here on out I will always be a hundred percent honest and up front with you about everything. I promise."

She smiles up at him, desperately trying to ignore the ever growing pit in her stomach with his talk about honesty. She gets on her tippy toes and reaches up to kiss him. He moves his head down to her and their lips meet briefly in chaste kiss. 

"I love you." He says as they pull away. 

"I love you too."

* * *

"Earth to Felicity." Felicity jumps at the sound of her name and almost trips in her heels on the sidewalk. "Woah, you're really jumpy today aren't you?" Caitlin teases, her arms filled with shopping bags, just like Felicity's. 

Felicity fixes her glasses and nods. "Yeah, it's just...things up here." She points to her head. 

Caitlin smiles and sighs. "No I understand, wedding brain. You should have seen me months before Ronnie and I tied the knot, I was practically useless. Muttering about flower arrangements in my sleep and sending out memos in wedding fonts. It can be a very stressful time."

"Yeah, just thinking about wedding details." It's a valid enough excuse given that they're currently walking to an antique shop in search of china and silverware for her wedding. "Thanks for coming with me by the way. Ray just isn't that good with this stuff and he's been really busy lately. Besides, you have great taste."

Caitlin smiles at her. "Thanks. How's Ray's prototype working out by the way? Has he gotten all the kinks out of the watch yet?"

"No. He's been working really hard on it but he still has some ways to go. It's been taking up a lot of his time."

"I can imagine." Caitlin pulls open the door to the shop. "If the problem is structural I can have Ronnie take a look at it. Maybe an extra pair of eyes is the just the thing Ray needs."

Felicity smiles up at Caitlin, grateful, as they reach the customer service counter. "Thanks Caitlin, that'd be great. I'll be sure to ask."

"Anytime."

* * *

Felicity opens the door to her apartment and drops all the bags to the floor right away. She notices the light in the kitchen is on and makes her way towards it, passing the living room. 

"Ray is that you?"

"Yup." He replies as she rounds the corner to find him sitting at the breakfast counter, reading a newspaper. Moments like this with Ray are so domestic she almost feels married to him already. 

She leans against the doorframe. "You're home early." She notes, enjoying the view of his tall frame hunched over in her small kitchen. 

"Well Cisco informed me that if I stared at my computer long enough I was going to burn a hole in it," she smiles at that, "and he reminded me that I have a pretty good reason to go home." He sets his paper down and gets off his stool, walking over to her. 

He wraps an arm around her waist and leans down to kiss her. She holds onto his shoulder for support as they exchange sweet languid kisses. 

"How was your day?" He asks, his face mere inches from hers. 

She sighs. "Long." She moves to sit down on one of the stools so she can take off her heels. 

He smiles down lovingly at her. "Did you find everything you were looking for?"

"Yes, just about. But at what price?" Felicity holds up her swollen foot as evidence and Ray laughs, moving forward. 

He grips her foot and kneads it, his long fingers massaging the flesh soothingly and she practically melts in her seat, closing her eyes. "You know I'm going to have to start charging you for these massages once we get married."

She smiles, eyes still closed. "Fine. Makes no difference to me. Once we're married what's mine is yours, so technically you'll be paying for them too."

"I'm screwed." Felicity opens her eyes at that. "I'm marrying a smart woman." She smacks his arm lightly. Ray laughs, still massaging her foot. It's a nice moment between them, light and easy, she almost forgets how complicated everything really is. 

"You look really tired, you should go to bed." She opens her eyes at Ray's words and realizes she almost feel asleep on the stool with Ray massaging her feet. 

"You're right." She yawns, getting up and stretching. 

He shuffles his feet awkwardly for a moment before saying, "I'm going to go back to my place."

"Are you sure?" She looks up at him. 

"Yeah, I mean you're really tired, you should get some sleep." He smiles down at her and she wants to tell him to stay, to assure him that it's okay for him to stay, that nothing between them has changed. She knows that's all the encouragement he'd need. But she can't give it to him, not yet. She still hasn't talked to Oliver and she hasn't washed her sheets from that night. She'd feel weird having Ray sleep in the same sheets that her and Oliver... 

She pushes the thought away, shaking her head and looking up at her fiancé. "Okay, I'll see you later."

She smiles up at him and he smiles back, but it doesn't completely reach his eyes. And she knows he's not going to push the issue, taking her hesitation to stop him from leaving as a sign of her hesitation to allow him completely back into her life and heart. But it's not that, it's not that at all. Unfortunately with things the way that they are she can't give him that assurance. Not until she speaks with Oliver and gets things squared away with him. So she'll let Ray think she's hesitant until she talks to Oliver. 

She gets on her tippy toes to kiss him. "Goodnight." She whisper against his lips. 

He wraps an arm around her and kisses her again. "Goodnight."

He walks to the door, pulls it open and slips out. And just like that Felicity is alone with her thoughts again. It's really the last thing she needs. 

But Ray's right, she is tired. So she goes to her room, slips on her pajamas, and snuggles under the covers. She refuses to think about complications anymore. Especially ones named Oliver Queen. 

* * *

"Just a java please." Felicity smiles at the woman behind the counter and moves over to let the man behind her in line place his order. She drums her fingers on the counter top as she awaits her coffee. She looks up at the clock to find that Oliver is now officially fifteen minutes late. She shakes her head and wants to laugh. Of course he's late, it's Oliver-fracking-Queen. He's always late. It's Sara's 21st surprise party all over again. She rolls her eyes. 

"Java for Felicity!" Felicity takes the coffee gratefully and leaves a tip for the woman. She surveys the place and finds a small empty table in the corner. She walks over and sits down, fully prepared to just wait for Oliver. This could be good, Felicity thinks, it'll give her time to really pull her thoughts together and figure out what she's going to tell Oliver. 

As if on cue, for once in his life, at that moment the door opens and in enters Oliver. His grey t-shirt is soaked through and Felicity knows he came straight from The Gambit. She's sure his hair is glistening with sweat under his beanie as well. 

He spots her almost immediately and quickly makes his way over. There's an awkward moment when he gets to her when neither know what to do. Normally they would hug in greeting, but that seems like too much physical contact at the moment. They could shake hands, but that seems too formal. In the end they settle for a polite nod. 

"Oliver."

"Felicity."

Felicity almost regrets going for the nod immediately, it feels too forced and stiff. As if they haven't known each other for a half a dozen years. 

Oliver takes a seat across from her and before either can say anything the girl, who took Felicity's order behind the counter, is suddenly next to them, eyes fixed on Oliver. 

"Hi, welcome to Jitters. Can I get you anything?"

Oliver turns to the girl in confusion and Felicity has to stifle a laugh. This isn't the way service works at Jitters. "No, I'm okay."

"Are you sure? We have coffee, tea, some pastries if you'd like." He girl claps her hands together, not ready to give up. 

Oliver takes note of this before relenting. "A water, please. Thank you."

The girl nods and races off. 

"Well that was weird." Oliver comments. 

And before Felicity can stop herself she says, "Well can you blame the poor girl?"

Oliver's eyes snap to hers and she mentally curses herself for her lack of filter. Oliver's damn eyes, they've had her entranced since the very first night they met. But he doesn't ask her to elaborate on the comment instead he gets right to business. "Why was Ray at your place yesterday? I thought you said he called off the wedding?"

"He did. Now it's back on." She hides behind her coffee cup as she watches Oliver's brows knot in confusion. 

"Explain that to me."

She sighs. "He came back a couple days ago and explained everything that happened and why he said what he said and did what he did and I understood, so now the wedding's back on."

Oliver opens his mouth to respond but right at the moment the girl returns with his water. "Here you go."

"Thank you." He doesn't turn to look at her, keeping his eyes on Felicity. 

Disappointment is evident on the girl's face as she simply nods and walks back to the counter. Felicity barely has time to feel bad for the girl before Oliver is back on her. 

"You're saying that Palmer's been back for a couple of days and you didn't think to tell me?" His voice is low and tight which both excites and scares her. But she refuses to let herself think of the former. 

"I was going to, eventually."

Oliver leans back. "Right. You mean after you were done avoiding me?" He shakes his head and lets out a humorless laugh. "Unbelievable."

"I was not avoiding you. I just...I had a lot on my plate to think about and-"

"Oh please Felicity." He leans froward on the table and again it seems as if personal space does not exist between them. "Just admit it. You were embarrassed that we slept together and didn't want to see me."

"I'm not embarrassed by that."

"Then what Felicity?" His blue eyes penetrate hers and his hands inching closer to her own, folded on the table. "Did you feel anything when were together?"

"Oliver..." Felicity has to drop her gaze. 

"Felicity." And he might as well be tilting her chin up because the sound of him saying her name has the same effect. "What do you call what happened between us?"

She takes a deep breath, choosing her words carefully. "It was...two friends...who took things, a little too far...and..."

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. "A mistake then?"

"No. Oliver, I never said that." She moves her hands to hold his but then thinks better of it and places them on her lap instead. 

"Then what are you saying Felicity?"

She gulps and drops her head. This is harder than she thought it would be. "I...don't know."

Oliver waits for her answer with batted breath until finally she asks in a small voice, "Can we just chalk this up to wedding jitters?"

Clearly it was the wrong thing to say because she sees Oliver's eyes go hard and closed off. She wants to take it back now. 

"Wedding jitters." He nods once. "Sounds legitimate enough. Yeah, let's go with wedding jitters." He gets up from his chair and pulls out his wallet. "I'm glad we solved that one."

"No, Oliver, wait." She wants to take it back but can't think of any way to make it better. She doesn't know how to make it better without further complicating things. 

"Don't worry about it Felicity. Makes perfect sense, wedding jitters, I understand now." She doesn't like the way his voice sounds. It's the voice he uses when he's being guarded, and although right now she can't blame him, he's never guarded with her. When he puts the walls up around him, she has a deeply rooted need to tear them down. 

He throws down some bills on the table to pay for his water and then he's walking away from her. She wants to stop him, reach out to him, but her traitor hands stay balled up into little fist on her lap, unmoving. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...what do you think? Lemme know! Your comments are my muse!  
> Yes Oliver and Felicity still need to talk more, which they will in the next one, I promise.  
> As always, a big shoutout to my wonderful beta who I'd be lost without ExcellentlyEllen :)  
> Drop by my tumblr and say hi: katanabaabe


	4. In Sorrow And In Joy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!  
> Sorry for the slight delay, I had finals and 6 hour flights but it's all good now. I am still incredibly humbled and amazed by the response this story is getting. Your comments on the last one had be cracking up so I'm happy you guys are enjoying it.  
> I know you all want longer chapters, unfortunately this one is pretty short but only because the next one is longer and much better. So bare with me for a second because Oliver and Felicity actually talk in this one and things are revealed so...  
> enjoy!

"Hi stranger." Oliver turns at the sound of the familiar voice. "Seems we only ever meet at parties." 

He smiles at the blond. "Felicity. I wouldn't have recognized you." And it's true. With her hair down in waves around her face and a pair of glasses sitting on her nose, she doesn't look anything like she did that night of the Halloween party. It's been a month since the night that he spilled his drink all over her. And truthfully he wasn't expecting to ever see her again, but now that she's standing in front of him he's glad the he has. 

"Yeah well your Halloween outfit wasn't that good so I recognized you pretty easily." 

He laughs and shakes his head, he likes the mouth on this girl. "So what are you doing at my school? MIT not having any parties tonight?" 

She cocks her head at him, he finds it amusing and takes a liking to the gesture immediately. "Contrary to what you may believe, Oliver, it's not all computer nerds over there, we do have parties. Big ones." 

"Ok ok." He smiles. 

"Actually I'm here because of Sara, again. A friend of hers told her about the party. Slade, I think?" 

Oliver nods. "Yeah sounds about right. Slade's my roommate." 

"Oh, give him my condolences then." 

He turns fully to really look at her. "So you think you're really funny, huh? You got a lot of jokes?" 

She blushes and adjusts her glasses, looking down before back up at him. "You just make it really easy to poke fun at you." 

Oliver eyes her and again notices how her blue eyes always seem to be twinkling. "Follow me." 

"What?" Felicity seems surprised. 

"I want to show you something." He holds out his elbow for her and she looks down at it. 

"Oh...Sara will be looking for me eventually." 

"After body shots right?" They both smile at the memory. "Just text her and tell her you'll be with me. Have her ask Slade if she really needs to get a hold of us." 

Felicity takes out her phone, writing out a quick text before putting it away and places her hand in the nook of his elbow. "Lead the way." 

* * *

It's pretty difficult to avoid one of your closest friends for a whole week. But two weeks? That's a feat all on its own. A feat that should be acknowledged and applauded. 

However, for Oliver, avoiding Felicity means avoiding all places and people she could potentially show up at or be with. So he ends up arriving at The Gambit every day really early and locking up very late at night, getting home with barely enough time to shower before passing out. So in his attempt to avoid Felicity, he's avoiding Thea and her nightclub Verdant, his family and Queen Consolidated as a whole. So as a consequence he had missed brunch with his family, not because he thought Felicity would show up there but because he'd have to explain why he was avoiding everybody which was just as bad, if not worse. Needless to say, he's _still_ getting hell about it. 

Which is why, at this very moment, he's giving a punching bag the beating of its life. He's throwing punches and kicks to it as if his own survival depends on it. And for a moment, it certainty feels that way. He's out of breath and beads of sweat are rolling down his neck and forehead but he doesn't let up, continuing to serve out the bag's punishment. 

Every worry, every doubt, every insecurity he has, he gives to the bag. With every punch and kick he feels himself give away a little more of the weight on his chest. 

He feels lighter. 

He knows the feeling is temporary and will end as soon as he stops, which is why he doesn't stop. He throws punch after punch at the bag—right hook, left jab—until he has nothing left. 

After a particularly hard punch, that sends the bag reeling before coming to meet him again, Oliver feels his body slump against it. He takes a few deep breaths before reaching down to grab his water bottle and finishes it in a few long gulps. 

He casts his gaze to the clock. It's ten at night, he should be home already. The Gambit closed a few hours ago. He grabs a towel from off the rack and wipes his face and neck with it. His stomach growls loudly and after a quick mental check Oliver realizes he doesn't have any food at his place. _Grocery shopping,_ he adds it to his mental to do list before grabbing his keys. He leaves his duffle bag in his office and locks everything up. 

The cool night air feels nice on his overheated skin as he zooms down the streets on his motorcycle. Ten o'clock on a Wednesday night, most places in the Glades are closed. But then Oliver remembers a popular little spot from his high school days and his stomach growls in approval as he thinks about the meal. He quickly changes lanes and heads to the burger joint he has in mind. 

Big Belly Burger, he arrives outside and parks his bike. It's amazing how it still looks exactly the same even after all these years, he thinks. Big Belly was one of the few establishments unharmed by the quake that leveled the rest of the neighborhood, so it recovered quickly. Even from outside he can smell the thick aroma of meat and grease and his stomach protests, asking why he isn't inside already? He laughs as he undoes his helmet and leaves it on his bike. 

Upon entering the joint he can tell that, much like the outside, the inside hasn't changed much either. There's a group of high school kids dominating two tables in the middle, just like he and Tommy used to do back in the day. There's an elderly couple sitting at the table by the window. But other than that there's only a few people sprinkled around the place. 

"Do my eyes deceive me or is that Mr. Oliver?" Oliver turns to see the older man in the apron behind the counter smiling at him. 

"Anatoly." He acknowledges the man, smiling. 

They shake hands. "It's been a while. I heard you opened up that gym down the block." 

"Gambit. Yes I did." 

"So now you're so close and yet we still never see you peek your head in here." Anatoly admonishes, crossing his hands over his chest, a spatula sticking out of his hand. 

"It's bad for business if people catch me eating your delicious food, what can I say?" He shrugs and Anatoly laughs. 

"Ah, always the charmer Oliver. I'll get you the usual, yeah?" 

"I would really appreciate that, thanks." 

"Oh and your friend is here." He says casually. 

"My friend?" 

"Yeah, she's sitting right over there." Anatoly uses his spatula to point to a booth where Oliver can see a pair of long heeled legs, crossed at the ankle, sticking out. 

He sighs, _of course._

He thanks Anatoly and the man nods before disappearing back into the kitchen. Oliver walks over to the booth and can make out her blond hair, tucked behind an ear. 

"Felicity." 

She startles, turning around. Burger in her hand and ketchup on the corner of her lip she looks up at Oliver, surprised. 

"Oliver." 

"Hey stranger, mind if I sit down?" 

"Of course!" She pushes around the napkins and condiments to clear the opposite side of the table for him. He slides in. "How are you?" She asks, fiddling with her glasses. 

"I'm fine." He nods at her. And seeing her should not make him feel this good. Seeing her should not loosen the tensions in his chest, especially since she's the reason there's any tension there to begin with. But somehow, Felicity makes it all go away. He should have known trying to avoid her would be useless. She smiles at him, the action pushing the ketchup further up her mouth. 

"Good. I'm glad to hear that." She takes a beat. "Oliver I am so sorry about what happened at Jitters, what I said, that was..." 

He shakes his head. "No Felicity I should apologize. The way I acted...that was weird. I don't want there to be any tension between us." 

She relaxes at that, still smiling brightly. "I don't want that either." 

She's completely oblivious to the ketchup on her lip and Oliver can stop staring at it. And whether it's because he finds it amusing or desirable he doesn't know and doesn't want to find out. "Uh, you got a little...right there." He points at the spot on his own mouth in demonstration. 

"Oh!" She quickly wipes it with her napkin. "I'm kind of a messy eater." 

He nods. "Years of observation would agree with you. Stress eating?" He tilts his chin at her plate and she looks down at it. 

"I'm such a fat-ass, aren't I?" 

He smiles. "No, I'm not judging you, I'm just asking." 

Anatoly comes then, placing Oliver's food in front of him and smiling at Felicity. She flashes him a smile before he leaves. 

"So what has you so stressed?" He asks, taking a bite of his burger. 

She bites her lip and he tries his best not to look at it. "I don't know if I should talk to you about this." 

Oh, wedding stuff. "Felicity we're friends, we have been for a long time. In order for it to stop being weird between us we have to stop making it weird." He and Felicity can go back to just being friends, he's sure of it. 

She seems to contemplate that then releases her lip. Causing Oliver to release a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Ray's been really busy lately and a lot of the wedding planning responsibility has fallen on me. And I feel like I'm kinda drowning in it." 

"What's he been busy with?" Oliver asks innocently, looking down at his fries. 

He can sense Felicity's hesitation and looks up at her. "The reason...he left...was because he found out his mom started her chemo again." 

"I thought she was in remission." 

"She was. And then the doctors found another lump, it's spreading. She didn't want Ray to know so when he found out she asked him not to say anything. She didn't want people to worry. And so he was freaking out, dealing with it by himself because he wasn't allowed to tell his sister either. Then he goes to work and Brie tells him she's kicking him off the project if he doesn't start showing results soon." 

"I thought that was his project." 

"It is. She threatened to pull the plug on it. Which is why he did what he did, he was too overwhelmed with everything. And feeling like he couldn't talk about it...that was killing him. So when he showed up at my apartment, after calling everything off, he set all the cards on the table and told me everything that was going on." She takes a sip of her drink. "But he still has work responsibilities and he has to think about his mom on top of that, it's just been kind of hectic for him. Which is why I'm taking on as much wedding stuff on as possible without him. I'm trying to take some responsibilities off his plate, make things as easy for him as I can." 

Oliver nods, trying, for Felicity's sake, to put himself in Palmer's shoes and feel sympathy for the guy. He's proud to admit that he can actually do so. 

"I'm sorry to hear that." He looks into Felicity's eyes and his hand reaches out on its own accord to grasp hers. She smiles at him as his hand envelops hers. 

Her phone vibrates then, and she removes her hand from his to grab her phone. Oliver didn't realize how far he was leaning in. Felicity's face falls when she sees the message. 

"What's wrong?" 

She puts the phone down. "Caitlin was supposed to go with me tomorrow to help me run some wedding errands but she can't now." 

"I can go with you." He offers. 

She cocks her head. 

"We gotta start doing normal things together again." 

Felicity nods at that and Oliver fights the urge to grab her hand again. 

They finish their food in relative silence, talking here and there about mindless things. It furthers the idea that they can get back to how things used to be between them. Oliver is happy about that, avoiding Felicity was becoming too much work. 

Felicity looks out the window. "It's raining now." She notes. 

Oliver follows her gaze and notices that the rowdy teens and the few other customers have left, leaving only them and the elderly couple. 

"Yeah. I should get going." He drops his napkin onto his plate and walks out with Felicity, keeping his hand hovering over her lower back. 

They wave their goodbyes to Anatoly as they make their way out, greeted by a wall of rain. 

"Wow. It's coming down hard." Felicity says, pulling her cardigan tighter around herself. 

"Where did you park?" Oliver practically has to shout over the rain. 

"Around the back." 

"I'll walk you." 

They pull their jackets above their heads, as some sort of makeshift umbrella, and Felicity leads them to her car. Oliver walks closely behind, their bodies almost touching. She turns around when they reach her small red car. Again it's an awkward moment when neither is quite sure how to depart. Hugging is too intimate right now but shaking hands would just be weird. Instead Felicity forces a smile up at him. 

"Thanks for walking me to my car. See you at my place tomorrow after work? Say around 5ish?" 

"I'll be there." 

Felicity unlocks her car and slides in. "Bye Oliver." 

"See you tomorrow Felicity." 

He stands there for moment longer while she fiddles with the gear shift and starts up the car. Oliver watches her even as she backs up and pulls out of the parking lot onto the street. 

He then hastily makes his own way back to his bike. 

On the way back to his place Oliver thinks about his meal with Felicity and how they had gotten back into their normal routine so naturally, so effortlessly. With the exception of the few times when Felicity would do something to attract attention to her mouth and Oliver momentarily lost track of what they were talking about. Or the few times where he would look up to catch Felicity looking at him with a funny glazed over look in her eye, but it wouldn't last long because she would blush and look down and change the topic. 

But all in all things weren't weird and it gives Oliver hope that they can put all this behind them. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket as he walks into his bedroom. He pulls it out. It's from Felicity. 

_Tomorrow 5'clock._

He cocks his head at the message before typing a quickly reply. 

_I know, I was there when the plans were made._

He shrugs off his jacket and places it on the dresser before a response comes in. 

_Just making sure you're not late this time._

 _You say that like it's a common occurrence._

He smiles at his remark, knowing she'll probably snort when she sees it. 

_Well someone is clearly drowning in denial...._

He smirks. 

_Felicity, I'll be there. Promise._

She doesn't get back to him right away so he places the phone on his bedside table and heads to the bathroom. 

After brushing his teeth and a quick shower, he peels back the sheets and climbs in. His body protests quietly, reminding him of the work out he gave the punching bag earlier today. 

He turns off the light and just as he closes his eyes, his phone buzzes again. 

_Ok see you tmrw, I'll be the one with the ponytail :)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? You guys don't hate Felicity anymore right? What about Ray? Yes? No? Well, I try...  
> Like I said next one is longer and better and because it's one of my favorites I'll give you a little dialogue tease: "[blank] is my best friend. [blank]'s worth all the elaborate plans in the world."  
> Brownie points if someone can guess who it's said by or about but you guys won't. ;)  
> Lemme know what you think down below, your comments are my fuel.  
> Much love!


	5. Ring Bearer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody!  
> As promised this chapter is longer and better, it also contains one of my favorite flashbacks.   
> No one guessed the dialogue tease correctly but same came close.   
> My wonderful beta, ExcellentlyEllen, gave this chapter her blessing so please enjoy :)

Felicity stands in front of her mirror applying mascara. She's feeling better about the situation with Oliver since they talked. She's been smiling easier and walking lighter all day. 

Her day at Queen Consolidated, where she's head of the special projects division of IT, passed quickly. She got all her paperwork done, replied to all the emails that had been collecting dust in her inbox, and even managed to squeeze in a quick lunch with Caitlin. And after letting her apologize profusely for having to bail on their plans last minute Felicity had assured her that it was more than fine. 

"You seem in a better mood." Caitlin had commented. 

"Mmhmm." Felicity had hummed around her sandwich. 

Felicity couldn't attribute her behavior to one thing specifically so she decided to chalk it up to things in her life finally coming into place since Ray had walked out on her last month. 

The ringing of her phone breaks Felicity out of her reverie. She looks down at the caller ID to see Ray's face smiling up at her. Speak of the devil... 

She puts it to her ear. "Hey sweetie, I was just thinking of you." 

"Is that so?" She can hear the smile in his voice before he sighs. "Listen baby, I got some bad news. I won't be able to come to your place tonight. Brie is really breathing down my neck to have this model finished by tomorrow. Looks like I'm going to have to pull an all-nighter." 

"But it's Thursday night, it's our superhero TV show night." Felicity frowns. 

"I know baby, trust me no one's more upset about this than I am." Felicity can hear Cisco's distant 'uh, speak for yourself' in the background. "Ok so Cisco might be a little bit more upset about it than I am." They both chuckle at that. 

"I promise I'll make it up to you." 

"Don't worry about it Ray. I'll be fine, focus on your project. Just don't overwork yourself, okay?" 

"I'll survive, somehow. And Cisco will make sure I don't starve." She hears Cisco in the background, 'don't worry Felicity I got him!' and she smiles at the reassurance. 

"Tell Cisco I say thank you. And please make sure you get _some_ rest. The both of you." 

"Will do. Love you." 

"Love you too." 

She hangs up and applies a fresh coat of lipstick before there's a knock at the door. For a moment she fidgets with the ends of her blue dress before she catches her reflection in the mirror and wants to laugh. _Don't be silly,_ she chastises herself mentally, _it's just Oliver. There's no reason to be nervous._ She nods to herself in the mirror before collecting her things and going to the door. 

She opens it to reveal Oliver standing at her doorstep, brown leather jacket unzipped. 

"Hi." Her voice sounds breathy and giddy even to her own ears. 

Oliver smiles easily in return. "Hey." He lets it out like it's a breath he's been holding. "Ready to go?" 

"Of course." She closes the door and locks it behind her. "If I had known that texting you the night before would get you to places on time I would have started assaulting you with texts years ago." She straightens and turns to face him. 

Oliver shakes his head. "I was so keyed up, I got here an hour early. I just kept doing circles around the neighborhood." 

Felicity smiles. "Nervous?" 

"A little. That's weird right?" 

She shakes her head. "Line forms behind me." It's nice to know she isn't the only one. 

They walk side by side to her car. She unlocks it and they slide in. 

"Ok so first I have to deliver the check for the catering place in person. After that I have to stop by the seamstress to make sure the bridesmaid dresses are coming along. Then I have to pick up my ring, which should be ready now." 

Oliver nods. "Aye aye captain." 

Felicity smiles and starts the car, pulling out of her spot and onto the road.

* * *

Felicity had known, when Sara asked if she wanted to go, that there was a decent chance she would run into Oliver. She was going to a party as his school, why wouldn't she see him there? What Felicity hadn't expected was the little flip her stomach did when she made out the back of his head among the crowd. 

She had just planned to just say hi to him, maybe catch up on the month since they last saw one another. She hadn't planned to talk to him for long, she had to get back to Sara anyway, who had gone off in search of something stronger than "this Hawaiian cooler bullshit"—Sara's words, not her own. But now Oliver is leading her down the hall and out the doors. And she wonders, Why is it that every time she finds him at a party they end up outside of it? She shrugs, at least this time she isn't soaked in beer. 

She's about to ask where he's taking her when he stops walking and she looks up. "Oh wow." Somehow, with all the busy distracting lights all over Massachusetts, and Boston specifically, Oliver was able to find a place behind the dorm and under a tree with an unhindered view of the moon. And the sight is... "Breathtaking." 

Oliver looks down at her, smiling. "Thought you might like it." He steps away from her and climbs the tree to the lowest branch, hanging from there. 

"Why are you showing me this?" 

He looks down at here, his agile body swaying. "What do you mean? I thought you'd like it." 

"I do." She takes a step forward, touching the tree's trunk, "What I mean is, why me? This seems like a more secluded romantic hookup spot." She says, surveying the place. It's true, the tree blocks the view from the second and third story windows. And the shade it provides is just dark enough that passersby wouldn't be able to quite make out what was going on. 

Oliver rolls his eyes. "No this isn't a good hook up spot. The view is way too nice, I'd get distracted." 

She snorts. "And since when are you such a nature enthusiast? I thought you were going to school for business or something?" 

"'Or something' feels more like it at the moment." He says, looking back up to the sky. 

"About that, did you ever figure out what it is you want to do? Since you said you weren't really feeling the cooperate world." He turns to her, eyebrow arched, and Felicity back steps. "Sorry. I sounded like a mom just then." 

He smirks and beckons her closer. "See that right there?" He points to the very edge of the night sky and she scoots closer in an attempt to see what he sees. 

He traces the shape with his finger and she stands on her tippy toes. He continues to connect the stars and she can barely make out a trapezoid shape before he explains. "That's Sagittarius. It's Latin for—" 

"The archer," she finishes, "I know." 

He smiles at her before continuing. "In Greek mythology there was this centaur named Chiron, half human, half horse. And even though he wasn't completely human, the Greeks held him in such high regard because of his many talents. Music, medicine, and archery among them. And when he was badly injured he gave up his immortality to take Prometheus's place on the rock to be eaten alive every day. So, for his bravery, Jupiter had him immortalized in the stars, for everyone to see and learn from." 

Felicity leans against the tree trunk thoughtfully, she likes listening to the sound of Oliver's voice in the quiet of the night. 

"So to answer your question," Oliver lowers himself from the branch, "no, I don't know what I'm going to do yet. But I like the thought of being brave enough to sacrifice something for others. And to be respected for that. I don't have to be immortalized in the sky. Just knowing that I made a difference, no matter how small, would be enough for me." 

He looks from the sky back down to her and Felicity has to stop herself from wondering how she can find his eyes, so close in color to her own, so completely mesmerizing. They share a comfortable silence as she contemplates this. 

"Felicity! Oh, there you are! C'mon we gotta go, this guy just promised us a ride on—" Sara stops short when she's close enough to see Felicity is not alone, "Oh, hello." 

"Hi." Oliver smiles and clasps his hands behind his back, taking a step away from Felicity. 

Sara simply points at him and tilts her head toward Felicity in question. 

"Sara, this is Oliver. Oliver, Sara." 

"Oliver? Slade's roommate Oliver? Oliver Queen?" Sara takes a step forward and although Felicity knows Sara is not drunk, she's too much of a heavy weight for that, she is definitely buzzed. 

Felicity rushes forward, "Ok I think those are all the variations of his name you can come up with. Now let's go ride that guy's thing." She stops and shakes her head, realizing what she just said. "I mean go ride that...we'll just go do that thing you suggested." Sara shakes her head lovingly at Felicity's ramblings but allows herself to be towed away. 

Felicity throws a glance back at Oliver. "I guess I'll see you later?" 

"I think so, yeah." 

She smiles and throws a small wave goodbye in his direction before heading off with Sara.

* * *

"So you're still having them make Sara's dress?" Oliver asks as they leave the seamstress's shop. 

Felicity frowns. "Yes. I mean I know she won't be able to make it but I still want her to be part of my wedding, if only in spirit. I was going to ask Laurel if she wouldn't mind taking Sara's place but she hasn't sent in her RSVP so I don't even know if she's going to be able to make it either. I was thinking maybe we'd photoshop Sara in the picture. Leave a little room for her, send the dress to Afghanistan so she can take pictures in it. And then we can superimpose her in the wedding photos." 

Oliver shakes his head at Felicity's plan as they reach her car and she unlocks the door. "That's a pretty elaborate plan." 

"Sara's my best friend. She's worth all the elaborate plans in the world." 

When Felicity starts driving towards the jewelry store Oliver turns to her. "When's the last time you heard from Sara?" 

"We would correspond at least every month. But she hasn't written back to me in about a couple months now. I guess she just got really busy." 

Oliver nods and looks out the front window. "Must be hard to keep in touch from so far away." 

"Speaking of, how's Tommy? Have you heard from him recently? He didn't RSVP either." 

"Nope, haven't heard from him in a while either. I heard Merlyn Global was preparing for a big merger though, so he must be swamped over there." 

Felicity nods and frowns. "Yeah. I kinda wish we could have gotten the old college crew back together though. For old time's sake. Everyone's so busy and spread out everywhere, I miss when we could all just get together over cheap pizza and cheap beer and just kick back." 

"You don't like beer." 

"I know but it's the sentiment." 

Felicity grins up at him and he shakes his head as they find a parking place. 

They walk inside and go straight to the counter. An older man with a thick Italian accent greets them. "Hello, how may I help you? Picking out a ring?" 

"Picking one up actually." Felicity pulls out the order form from her purse. "It's under Smoak. With an 'a'." 

"Of course Miss Smoak." He peers at the confirmation number over his glasses. "I'll go get it." 

He leaves Oliver and Felicity by the display case as he disappears to the back to retrieve her item. 

Oliver puts his elbows on the glass case, looking at the rings. "Oh, I like that one." 

Felicity peers over his shoulder and scoffs. "The green one?" 

"Yeah." He turns around to face her. "What's wrong with it?" 

"Oliver it's _green._ " 

"So?" 

"You can't get a girl a green engagement ring." 

He crosses his arms at her. "Why not?" 

"Because it's green!" She throws her hands up. 

"That's not a reason." 

"She is quite right, sir." The Italian man comes back with a small box in his hand. "That shade of green is much too harsh. Especially for someone with such a light completion." 

"See?" Felicity grins up at him triumphantly and Oliver just rolls his eyes. 

The man opens up the small box to reveal Felicity's engagement ring. "This one however," he slides the ring onto her finger, "see this one is perfect. It's subtle enough to bring out the blue of her eyes. Fits good now?" 

Felicity nods her head and smiles down at her hand. "Yes, it's perfect now. Thank you." 

"See, this one was a good choice sir." The man nods approvingly at Oliver. 

Felicity looks up, Oliver scrunched his face. "Excuse me?" 

"This lighter gem is a better fit for your fiancé sir. You made a good choice with this one." 

He continues to look at Oliver and it takes a second before either he or Felicity can respond. 

"Oh...no. We aren't...he and I are...not...no. We don't..." Felicity stammers, unable to find the words she needs. 

Oliver helps her out. "We're not getting married. I'm not the fiancé. We're just friends." 

Felicity nods. "Yes. Exactly." 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed since the two of you...My apologies." 

Felicity waves her hand dismissively. "No worries." She forces a tight lip smile at the man to put him at ease. 

"Well that be all miss?" 

"Yup." Felicity answers, popping the 'p'. 

"Well in that case, if there's nothing else you need, have a good day." 

"Thank you, yeah, you too. Have good day too." 

Felicity and Oliver exchange an awkward glance as they head out. 

They don't speak for the duration of the car ride back to Felicity's place. 

It's pouring when they get back to Felicity's apartment. As she rounds the corner onto her street she groans in annoyance. 

"What's going on?" Oliver asks as he notices all the cars crowded around Felicity's apartment, blocking her usual parking space. 

"My stupid neighbor Myron. He's always throwing these big parties and his guests take up all the parking." She sighs in frustration and puts the car in reverse. "I'm going to have to park on another block. 

Eventually they find parking, one street over. Oliver and Felicity practically run to her door, seeking shelter from the rain. By the time they get inside and Felicity closes the door firmly behind her, they are both completely drenched. 

One look at each other and they both burst out laughing. "We look like sewer rats don't we?" Felicity gasps between giggles. Oliver nods, clutching his stomach in laughter. 

"Ugh, I hate the weather." Felicity wipes the tears of laughter that have accumulated at the corner of her eyes. "April showers bring May flowers, what a load of crap." 

Oliver smiles at her and then points to her eye. "You got some...um..." 

She looks up at him. "Hmm?" 

Oliver steps closer and gently wipes his thumb under her eye. "There." 

Her skin tingles from the contact. "Thanks...for coming out with me today. You're a life saver." 

Oliver smiles down at her. "Of course." 

Felicity doesn't know what compels her to do it but she gets up on her toes and puts her arms around him, hugging him. 

He responds easily and she can feel his whole body pressed up against hers. It makes her shiver, for reasons unrelated to the rain. She should pull back. And she does. Except now their faces are close together. Felicity doesn't know if she moves first or if Oliver does but suddenly their lips press together. And it's like everything makes sense, Felicity's body hums in approval. 

Kissing Oliver is something her body has been craving all day, all week, and she didn't even know it until it's happening. And now Oliver slides his tongue into her mouth and hums around her. Felicity sighs, feeling more at peace then she has all month. The air crackles around them and Felicity feels an electric surge go through her. 

Oliver walks them back until they reach the door, Felicity's back hitting the hard wooden panels. He unwraps her hands from around his neck and places them above her head against the door. She clasps her hands together and he lets them go, running his hands down her sides. She shivers and her hips thrust against him on their own accord. The rain has made her dress stick to her like a second skin. And based on the way Oliver is staring at her heaving chest, it's obvious that the rain has also made her dress transparent. 

Oliver plays with the hem of her dress at her knees and slowly drags his fingers up, bringing the fabric along with him. Once the dress pools around her waist he stops and dips his hand to the soft cotton of her underwear. 

Felicity bites backs a moan as his finger lingering there, flashbacks of what his fingers can do assault her, causing her knees to shake. Oliver puts his lips back on hers and lifts her up. Felicity wraps her legs around him. He walks them over to the living room and deposits her on the couch. 

She keeps her ankles locked behind him as they nip at each other. Felicity bites Oliver's lower lip when he tries to break for air, and she runs her tongue soothingly over it. He thrusts his hips into her and Felicity lets out a deep guttural moan. She can feel his hard length straining against his jeans. Oliver gets a wicked gleam in his eyes and drops his head to suck on Felicity's neck. At the same time he pushes her deeper into the couch with his hips. Oliver grinds into Felicity over and over again. The metal of his zipper rubs against her underwear clad center in _just the right way_ and makes her eyes roll to the back of her head. 

Oliver nibbles across her jaw and sucks on her pulse point, all the while slowly _deliciously_ grinding into her. Felicity pushes her hips up, meeting his thrust in attempt to get more friction where she needs it the most. The action causes Oliver to growl and bite down on her shoulder hard. Felicity yelps it response. Oliver runs his tongue over the bite mark and down the back till he meets the dip of her scar. He places a kiss there and Felicity closes her eyes, shuddering. 

He grinds against her hard and she runs her hands down his back, feeling his hard muscles ripple under her touch. She kisses his cheek and his neck, anything that her lips can reach, as her hands run back up his sides. 

Felicity is lost in the feeling of Oliver rubbing against her and kissing her neck. All she knows is that she needs him, needs him inside her soon, or she will explode. She opens her mouth to tell him so but then he bites down on her industrial bar and she lets out a mewl instead. She screws her eyes shut and squeezes his shoulder to ground her against the sensations coursing through her body. When she opens her eyes a light catches her attention. 

Felicity tuns her hand to see her engagement ring gleaming on her finger. She freezes, slowly coming back to her senses. _Oh no_... 

"Oliver." 

"Felicity." He moans against her skin and she has to physically resist the shudder that threatens to run through her at the sound. 

"No. Oliver stop." She pushes his shoulder back gently and he moves back. 

He rolls back onto his knees and stays staring at her. He's in between her legs and Felicity blushes, trying to no avail to push her dress back down to cover herself. 

"Oliver I... _we_ can't... " she looks down, fiddling with her hands. She tries her best not to look at the ring that now feels like it weights a hundred pounds on her finger. 

She risks a glance up at Oliver and his face is hard, looking down at her like she's a stranger. 

She reaches out to him and he flinches back. It sinks her heart. "Oliver..." 

"I have to go." 

She doesn't try to stop him as he gets off the couch and slams the door behind him. Felicity hangs her head in shame as she hears the angry beating of raindrops against her apartment.

* * *

"But I would deploy an remote administration tool. It'll work much better for what you're trying to do." 

"Felicity?" The brunette receptionist calls, sticking her head into the room. 

Felicity turns away from whom she was just helping. "Yes?" 

"Mr. Queen is ready to go over the details for the project now." 

"Great. I'll be right up." 

The receptionist nods and makes her way back to her desk. Felicity turns back around. "I hope that was helpful to you Jerry." 

"Yes, Felicity. You are always helpful, thank you so much." 

She smiles at the older man. "Not a problem. Whenever you need anything, you know where to find me." 

Felicity takes the elevator up to executive floor and can see Mr. Queen waiting for her through the glass walls of his office. She passes by his assistant and knocks lightly before entering. He stands up as she approaches his desk. 

"Mr. Queen." 

"Ms. Smoak." 

He stares her down until she finally cracks and breaks into a smile. "Robert." 

"Felicity." He flashes a smile in return and moves around the desk to hug her. "How are you, my dear?" He asks, pulling away. 

"Exhausted." 

"Not because of us I hope?" 

She smiles up at the older man. "Of course not. If anything running the special projects division of IT gives me renewed strength." 

He laughs and rounds his desk to once again sit at the head of it. He motions for Felicity to take a seat as well. She does. 

"No, I know that wedding planning has been keeping you busy, and how's that coming along?" 

_Great. If I'd stop being distracted by your son._ "It's going." She manages with a tight smile. 

Robert nods sympathetically. "Yes, I remember. Planning a wedding can be grueling work. But if you had a hand in it I'm sure it will be wonderful." 

Felicity smiles, trying to hid the guilt gnawing at her stomach, and produces a small file. "Here are the project details you asked for." 

"Oh yes, thank you." He pages through it, skimming over the graphs. "What's your opinion?" 

"I think it's a solid plan. The data looks good and it's just up QC's alley in terms of cutting edge technology. Not to mention it will definitely bring about positive publicity, something that never hurts." 

Robert chuckles and sets down the file. "Once again, you think of everything Felicity." 

She beams at him, "I try." 

"Ok, I trust your judgment. Let's put it in motion." 

"Absolutely. I'll get on it right away." 

There's a soft knock and Felicity turns around to find Moira Queen standing at the entrance of Robert's office. 

"Am I interrupting?" Moira asks, stepping into the office. 

"Of course not." Robert beckons her over from his seat. 

Moira places her hand on Felicity's shoulder in greeting as she makes her way to her husband. They kiss and Moira rubs Robert's back as she turns to Felicity. 

"Hello dear." 

"Moira." Felicity greets, nodding her head. 

Through her summer internships and years of friendship with Oliver, Felicity had become quite close with the Queen family. And while Robert and her had quickly developed an easy manner of joking and teasing, things with Mrs. Queen were different. It's not that her and Moira had any bad blood between them, but simply that Felicity remained intimidated by her air of superiority and always kept things polite and respectful with the older woman. 

"Felicity, dear have you heard from my son recently?" 

Felicity's eyes snap up to attention. "What? No! I...why would I? Why, why do you ask, is what I mean?" Felicity can feel color rush to her check and she suddenly feels suffocated in the 24 floor high rise. 

"He hasn't come to any of the brunch dates I've set up for all of us and I'm starting to wonder if he's avoiding me..." 

"Why would he do that?" Felicity pulls at her collar, uncomfortably. 

Moira doesn't notice Felicity's discomfort, lost in her own thoughts. "I don't know...Oh well, guess I'll have to take down the other dinning set." 

"Why doesn't Felicity join us?" Robert ask. 

"That's a wonderful idea, and you can bring that fiancé of yours around." 

"Ray's actually going to be working tomorrow." 

"On a Saturday?" 

"Yes, he thinks he's really close to completing his watch and the big man upstairs is awaiting it, or I should say big woman upstairs..." 

"Well that's too bad. But you can still come right dear?" 

"I don't know..." 

"Oh please," Moira waves her hands, "we haven't had you over for brunch in too long, not since you used to spend your summers with us. Pease, dear." 

Felicity looks uncertainly at Moira. 

"My son can't even take the time to see his family, please spend some time with us before you have a completely different family to attend to." 

Felicity relents. "Ok, yes. I do miss brunches at the Queen Mansion." 

"Wonderful dear, we'll see you tomorrow and 10 promptly." 

Felicity smiles at her and grabs the folder off Robert's desk. You excuses herself before ducking out of the office.

* * *

The next morning Felicity pulls up in front of the giant gates that surround the mansion. She gets out of her car and looks up in wonder. She had spent summers here, lounging by the pool and walking through the rose gardens. This is where Sara had taught her to play tennis on the courts in the back and where Tommy had taught her how to knot a cherry stem with her tongue. This is where she had first met Laurel Lance and where Tommy had opened up about his break up with her. This is where she and Oliver would spend nights under the stars trying to learn constellations. This is where she had taught Thea how to parallel park and where her mother had met Walter. So much had happened here, so many milestones in her life, and yet Felicity could never get over the size of it. It was so grand it still made Felicity look up in wonder and amazement. 

Felicity knocks on the door and hears shuffling on the other side. She expects one of the maids to answer, maybe even Moira herself, elegantly dressed. Perhaps Robert, with the fatherly twinkle in his eye. Or Thea, who would envelope her in a hug before Felicity could even blink. 

What Felicity isn't expecting, when the wide doors finally open, is to find bright blue eyes staring down at her in a way that her body is all too familiar at this point. 

Her mouth goes dry. _Of frack._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now you know, my favorite chapters just further complicate things.   
> Please let me know what you think, your comments fuel me.   
> I'd also like to address a question that gets asked a lot. This story is about Olicity's journey. But since Felicity is engaged to Ray in the beginning there's going to be some Raylicity moments, as you've seen. (Basically what I'm saying is slow burn)  
> Hopefully that answered your questions.   
> Looks like some of you had fun with the dialogue tease so I might do one every chapter and I'll give a spoiler or something to whoever guesses right.   
> Tease: "[blank] can come anytime for whatever reason. [blank]'s practically family."  
> Send me your questions and comments below :)  
> Much love


	6. Jumping The Broom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Honestly your comments give me life so please keep them coming :) love all the positive feedback this story is getting   
> This one was fun to write because there's some fun Queen family dynamic going on. Also the return of Thea! So jump in and enjoy :)

"Ollie!" 

Oliver groans and turns his head, burying it further into his pillow. He prays the incessant knocking will stop. 

"Oliver open up!" 

But of course, since its Thea, it won't ever stop. 

"Oooollllllie!" 

Dammit! If possible the knocking gets louder, becoming a banging, and Oliver wonders where that tiny little thing finds the strength... 

"I know you're in there! Open up!" 

He flips over in bed. No, if he just ignores her she'll go away. Eventually. He just has to wait her out... 

"I'm not going anywhere! I can keep this up all day!" 

He huffs. The banging continues and he knows he should go out and stop her before he has to pay the landlord for the damages. 

He rolls out of bed, pulling on a shirt. Dammit Thea... 

He pads over to the door and Oliver can hear the clinging of her bracelets from the force of her knocks. 

"Oliver Jonas Queen if you don't open this door, so help me, I swear to—" 

He throws open the door, cutting her off. "Speedy." 

Before he can get another word in she's hurdling into his loft, just a blur of sequence and brown hair. 

"By all means, please come in." Oliver deadpans as he closes the door. 

She stands in the middle of the room and crosses her arms over her chest, dropping a hip. It's the same stance she assumed when he was a junior in high school and she knew he and Tommy had been smoking pot in his room. Or when he took their father's car for a joy ride on the eve of his eighteenth birthday. Or prom night when he had snuck that girl back into his hotel room. Basically he has seen that stance many times throughout their childhood and even into adolescence. But he hadn't seen it in years and he really didn't want to hear the lecture that always accompanies it. 

"Why are you avoiding mom?" 

He throws his head back. "Ugh, Thea I really don't want to do this right now. It's too early. I haven't even seen my toothbrush yet." 

"Answer the question." 

He drags himself over toward the bathroom, in search of said toothbrush. "I'm not avoiding mom." 

"Then dad?" 

He bites out a laugh humorlessly. "I'm never looking forward to seeing dad, but I'm not avoiding him either." 

"Is it me then?" He stops in his tracks and turns to see his sister's arms drop and her posture change. "Are you avoiding me?" 

Oliver's heart drops. It was easy to forget, with all her confidence and wisdom beyond her years, that Thea was in fact his younger sister. "Oh Thea." 

He makes his way over to her and envelops her in his arms. "C'mere. You annoy the hell out me sometimes Speedy, but I'm never avoiding you. Don't ever think that." 

She nods against his chest and her response is muffled. "Well you're avoiding someone. The family hasn't seen you in months." 

Oliver sighs. While avoiding Felicity he had inadvertently avoided his sister, he knew that, but he had no idea about what it would mean to Thea. It hurt her. He can see that now. 

"I've just been busy with The Gambit." They pull away slightly so they can see the others' face. "You know your idiot brother never thinks things through." 

She smiles up at him and then scrunches her nose. "And he has really bad morning breath too." She fans her hand in between their faces for emphases. 

"I warned you." He blows air down at her and she squirms. 

"Ew Ollie, quit it! Go brush your teeth." 

He smiles down at his sister, it never seizes to amaze him how quickly she forgives him for everything. He's forever grateful for that. 

He walks over to the bathroom and she skips behind him, right on his heels. His toothbrush is in his mouth before she speaks again. 

"I know a way you can make it up to us." 

Oliver pauses, his mouth full of toothpaste. He looks at her through the mirror. "How?" 

"You can surprise mom at brunch today. I know she'll love it." 

Oliver rinses his mouth. "I don't know Thea. I'm kinda busy today." 

She frowns at him. "Too busy for family? It's just brunch with your mother Oliver, it won't kill you. You know, for a woman who brought you into this world she asks for very little in return. You left us—left her—to go to college on the other side of the country and then you return, to the same city no less, and never visit. She saw you more when you hundreds of miles away. Honestly the least you can do is—" 

"Ok ok I got it." He puts his hands on his sister's shoulder. "I'll go. Jeez, when did you memorize the riot act?" 

She beams up at him in response. 

"When's brunch?" 

"In an hour, so go and get ready. And honestly Ollie, would it kill you to shave? This is the 21st century, men don't wear their faces like cavemen anymore." 

He rolls his eyes. "Goodbye Thea." 

He walks into his bedroom and closes the door. 

"Oh I'm not leaving. I'm driving you there. It's the only way to make sure you're not 5 hours late. Brunch doesn't work if you eat it right before dinner!" 

He sighs deeply and starts getting dressed. 

* * *

"Felicity Smoak?" 

The blond in question turns around at the sound of her name and looks up to see him. "Oliver. Oliver Queen." 

Oliver didn't know when he'd see her again after she'd shown up at Boston College. But then Johanna slept over and mentioned she went to school at MIT. So he offered to give her a ride back, figuring it was the perfect opportunity to see Felicity. And after asking around, someone told him he'd find her in the courtyard, taking up one of the tables by herself. And sure enough, there she was. 

"Hi. Can I sit?" He asks, gesturing to the empty chair across from her. 

"Oh yeah. Sure." She quickly moves her papers and books around to clear space for him, her hands fluttering about. 

"Thanks." He sits and she adjusts her glasses. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"I was dropping this girl off from our date. Thought I might run into you and see if you wanted to grab lunch?" 

She glances down at the time on her phone. "Uh, sure. Wait. You were on a date at 12 in the afternoon?" 

He smiles at her skeptical face and pushes his baseball cap further up his head. "No, I went on a date at 8 in the evening yesterday. It just ended well." 

She shakes her head at him and he smirks in return. "So when are you going to see this girl again? Do I know her?" 

Felicity sure was inquisitive. "No and I don't know. It was a onetime thing, I don't plan on seeing her again." 

She cocks her head at him. "And does she know that?" 

"It was mentioned." He answers evasively. 

Felicity shakes her head. "And you'd think that MIT girls would be smarter than that." 

He grins wolfishly at her. "You would think." 

She gets up and starts collecting her stuff off the table. Oliver helps her. 

"So do you have any particular place in mind?" He asks. 

Felicity nods. "There's this amazing deli down the street. It will bring you to your knees." 

He laughs at that. "Sounds great. I'll drive."

* * *

"You are listening to me right?" 

Oliver is snapped right back to the present as Thea switches lanes. 

"Oh course Speedy, you haven't stopped talking since we left the loft." 

She glares at him as she passes up another car. "Anyways, as I was saying, so this Mandy girl shows up and she has qualifications so I look into it. Not great. Her references all say the same thing: the girl can mix up a mean drink but is very fickle about showing up to work on time or at all. So then this Harley girl applies and everything looks fine, but her ex-boyfriend? A piece of work that one, practically got her fired from her last job. So it doesn't inspire a great deal of confidence. Looks like I might have to bartend Verdant myself when we open up until I can find one who shows up to work and isn't crazy. The bar is set so low." 

Oliver chuckles. It's nice seeing his sister like this. So driven, so focused. It's what his father always told him he lacked. 

"What?" She looks over at him, noticing that he's lost in thought. 

"Nothing," he shakes his head, "just can't help thinking that you've become dad's favorite even more, if that's possible." 

She rolls her eyes and looks back to the road. "Oh Ollie, you just say that because you don't understand." 

"Understand what?" 

"You and dad are too alike. Maybe that's why you don't get it..." 

"Get what?" 

"Ollie," she casts her gaze on him briefly before turning her attention back in front of her, "I love you dearly and you're gifted in so many areas. But you've always been terrible at seeing how people feel about you. It's always been your blind spot." 

"What are you talking about? I don't have a blind spot." 

"You so do! Did you know that Laurel was in love with you before Tommy finally asked her out? And that chick—what was her name—from central city? She practically wanted to have your babies! But you, as always, were blind to it, you just thought she was being friendly." She scoffs at that. "And, it sounds crazy now, but you know who I always suspected had a thing for you was—oh hey we're here!" She pulls up to the front gates and Oliver forgets to ask her to finish her sentence. 

"Of course we're here already, with the way you drive I'm surprise we didn't jump forward in time." 

She slaps his arm. "Oh shut up. I am an excellent driver. Don't be sexist." 

Before he can respond she parks and gets out of the car. "C'mon!" 

Oliver slowly undoes his seatbelt and gets out as well. 

His childhood home. Strange how it always felt so big and impenetrable in his youth. He use to run down the halls with Thea and Tommy when they were children and pretend they were in a castle being attacked by a dragon. Now the mansion looks dark and cold, abandoned and alone without the power of youth to make it appear alive. 

Thea had moved out when Oliver came back to Starling. His mother and father had been living there alone ever since, having gotten rid out most of the house staff. It didn't make any sense to keep them around. 

Oliver couldn't help to think how hollow and empty the house must feel from the inside, without the sound of laugher echoing through the rooms or the patter of feet in the hallway. He's reminded now why his mother had been so insistent that he and his sister come to visit more often. She was getting lonely in the big house by herself. Even with his father there, it wasn't the same. 

He and Thea walk up the steps to the door. They only have to knock once before the door opens. 

"Hi mom, look who I found." 

Moira's face lights up at seeing them both. 

He bows his head shyly. "Mom." 

"Oh my beautiful children!" Moira throws her arms around them, wrapping them in her embrace and Oliver places a kiss to her cheek before they pull apart. 

"I have to say Oliver that I am quite surprised you came." Moira has her arms slightly crossed and her passive aggressive voice on. Oliver feels 10 years old again. 

Thea speaks up, her best angel face on. "Yeah I had to drive him over here myself to make sure he found the place alright." 

Thea's charm breaks the other woman's resolve and Moira uncrosses her arms, smiling sweetly at them. "Well come along now you two. Your father should still be in his study." 

The Queen children follow their mother into the mansion. Oliver elbows Thea. 

"Hey! What was that for?" 

"Thanks for throwing me under the bus." 

She rolls her eyes. "Oh please, that was nothing. Serves you right for ditching the family to avoid....whatever it is you're avoiding." 

At the clear insistence in her voice he stalks further, leaving Thea in his wake. 

"You know I'm going to figure it out. Don't think I won't!" She calls out behind him as he follows Moira out into the rose garden. 

As a boy Oliver would run through the garden in wonderment while his babysitters and maids would run after him, trying to keep him from destroying everything. As a teenager the garden grew to have a different purpose for Oliver. It was a good first kiss spot and he became an expert in knowing exactly when it was the right time to suggest a stroll through the garden. But looking at it now Oliver can finally appreciate the hard work and dedication behind it that truly makes it beautiful. 

"Oh Mr. Oliver!" He turns at the familiar voice to find Raisa. 

His face breaks out at seeing the woman, practically another mother to him. He reaches down to hug her and the small woman squeezes back tightly. 

"You have not been around in a while Mr. Oliver." 

He huffs out a small laugh. "Yeah, I've been getting that a lot lately." 

She cups his cheek tenderly for a moment before turning to fully face Moira. "We'll be adding another table setting for brunch then, Mrs. Queen?" 

Moira nods. "Yes Raisa, Oliver will be staying to eat with us." 

The other woman gives a short nod of understanding and gives Oliver's hand a small squeeze before heading back inside to the kitchen. 

"So you kept Raisa." Oliver notes after she is out of earshot. 

"Of course I kept her, why would you even ask that?" 

"Well I just figured that once you started cutting back she'd be one of the first to go, given your jealousy toward her..." 

Moira manages to look offended and dismissive at the same time. "Oh Oliver don't be ridiculous." 

He cocks an eyebrow at her as she sits down at one of the small tables in the garden. 

"Ok I'll admit that I always found it...curious the connection she seemed to have with you. All of you. You all took a liking to her so quickly and listened to her always. Coming home after a long day of work to see you and Thea already tucked in...it made me feel replaced sometimes. But she's family—practically—and I know this house, no matter how few the occupants, wouldn't run properly without her. There are some connections you just can't shake, regardless of how hard you try." 

Oliver sits and contemplates his mother. The woman before him, so honest and open, reminds him nothing of the one he knew growing up. She had never been cold or unloving. He knew, without a doubt, that she loved both him and Thea immensely. But she had never been forthcoming regarding her feelings. She knew how to put on a show for others but once the cameras went away she was different. His mother had always been calculating and cautious, it's what had sculpted her into a powerhouse of a businesswoman. However, it wasn't ideal for raising a family. 

But his mother now, being able to admit her jealousy of another, and her desire to have been a more attentive mother...this woman he would have liked to meet sooner. 

She smiles oddly at him. "What is it dear?" 

He shakes his head, clearing his thoughts. "Nothing. I just...I enjoy this. I'm sorry I haven't been around lately." 

They share a small smile, a moment of acceptance and understanding. And Oliver wonders if there is more he has yet to learn about his mother. 

The doorbell rings then and Moira looks up. 

"Would you be a dear and get the door? I don't want to inconvenience Raisa, she's probably excitedly cooking extra food now that you're here." 

He smiles. "Of course." 

Oliver is walking to the door before he can think about who it could possibly be at this hour. And he's opening it before he can think about all the rotten luck he's had lately. And he's looking down at her crystal blue eyes before he can fully comprehend what it is he's looking at. 

"Felicity!" 

He's given a moment to collect himself when Thea comes hurdling past him, throwing herself into Felicity's arms. It takes the blond a moment to react, still shell shocked at seeing him. But when she does recover she returns the hug in full, wrapping her arms around the younger Queen. 

"Felicity I never see you! Why haven't you come by the club?" 

"Because you told me not to. You said you didn't want me to see it until it was completed and no longer teeming with sweaty construction workers. You said you wanted it to meet your 'Queen Standard of Excellence' before I could lay eyes on it. That might be a direct quote actually..." 

Thea smiles and rolls her eyes, grabbing Felicity's hand in hers. "I know but still! I'm there all the time so I never get to see anyone anymore. I got to pick up this one," she jabs her thumb at Oliver, "and that was about as much non-club related interaction I've had all day." 

"I didn't know you'd be here." Felicity says to Oliver by way of explanation. 

"What are you doing here?" His tone comes out hard and clipped and he knows he has to control it before Thea starts to ask questions. 

Felicity looks affronted. "I was invited." 

"Yeah Ollie she was invited," Thea laces her arm through Felicity's, "besides Felicity can come anytime for whatever reason. She's practically family. Jeez what has gotten into you today?" She shakes her head and walks off with Felicity in tow, leaving him standing in the middle of the entrance. 

He starts to head back towards his mother and can hear when Thea reaches her. "Mom, look who it is!" 

"Felicity, I'm glad you were able to make it dear. Sadly, still no Ray I see." 

"No. He is still hard at work but he sends his hellos, and his regards for not being able to make it." 

Oliver steps out into the garden when his mother responds. "Well that's too bad, but he'll join us next time I'm sure. The invitation extends indefinitely." 

"You invited her?" Oliver's question pulls three pairs of eyes to him. 

"Yes I did. Felicity hasn't come to the mansion in ages and I didn't want the extra food to go to waste since I really didn't think you were going to show up... What's wrong dear?" 

He looks between her and Felicity and sees Felicity looking down at his hand. He then notices he's been flexing his fingers anxiously. It's a habit he's acquired since opening The Gambit. Whenever Oliver is agitated or feeling stressed out, his fingers will twitch reflexively and he knows he has to get to a punching bag or some weights. He tries to still his hand. 

"No, I just remembered an important business meeting coming up that I should go over with John soon. Probably should have done it before coming here actually..." 

"Don't say you're leaving us so soon Oliver." Robert Queen's voice rings out loud and clear, commanding the room. 

Oliver turns to see his dad at the entrance of the garden. 

Robert's eyes fall on Oliver briefly before sliding over and landing on Felicity. "Ms. Smoak." 

"Mr. Queen." She nods and after a small beat her face breaks out into a smile and Robert steps down, fully entering the garden to embrace her. 

"It's nice to see you again Felicity." 

"Likewise Robert." 

"You must promise me you won't get stuck down in the cave that is the IT department, come up to the executive floors and visit us more." 

Felicity smiles at the older man. "I'll try." 

He nods at her before turning to Thea. "Hi baby." 

"Dad." She beams up at the man and he pulls her in for a hug and plants a kiss at her temple. 

When he releases her, Robert finally turns fully to face Oliver. He is suddenly reminded why he was always so hesitant to join the family for brunch all those times before. Robert stands at a distance and puts out his hand in offering. "Son." 

Oliver shakes it, and the formality of the act is lost on no one. 

"Let's all sit down now." Moira announces more than suggests, breaking the awkward tension. 

But as the tension between his father and him dissipates, a new one arises when he meets Felicity's eyes as they take their seats across from each other. 

Raisa comes out with the food and as she places it in front of Felicity she wraps her arm around the blonde's shoulders. 

"So nice to see you Miss Felicity." 

"It's lovely to see you too Raisa." 

The two smile at each other and Rasia continues to serve the food. Felicity looks down and tucks her hair behind her ear, avoiding Oliver's gaze. 

"So Oliver, I understand the gym venture is going well. Frank spoke about wanting to help you franchise." 

Robert Queen breaks Oliver's attention away from Felicity. 

"Yes this past year has been very profitable for the business. But Bertinelli doesn't want to help me franchise he's trying to convince me to franchise." 

"Well you should do it." His father states simply, raising a forkful of food to his mouth. 

"I'm not so sure I will." 

"The least you can do is hear the man out. It would be a smart business move. And Bertinelli is a smart business man. It wouldn't hurt you to take some pointers from him about how to run a successful business like he has." 

Oliver grinds his teeth. "I set up a meeting already to hear him out. But my mind is made up already, if his pitch is anything like the last three times—" 

"You know Oliver, a smart business man would keep an open mind about these sort of things, leave his options open." 

He grips his fork so hard his knuckles go white. "Well then I guess it's a good thing I'm not working at QC, dad. Since obviously I still have a lot to learn about running a business. It's not like that's exactly what Dig and I have been doing for the last 3 years. Yeah, you wouldn't want this dumb business man ruining everything you've worked so hard for." 

"Now Oliver—" 

But he doesn't hear the rest of his father's sentence because from under the table he feels Felicity's foot graze his. His eyes snap to hers and even though her head is lowered he can see her face, her eyes pleading with him to take a deep breath. He closes his eyes and does what she silently instructs. He takes a deep breath through his nose and holds it before exhaling slowly. When he opens his eyes again Felicity is looking down at her food but he can still feel her foot moving back and forth against his in a soothing motion. His father is still talking. 

"...and I stood by what you decided even if it's not what I would have picked for you myself." 

"I know you'd rather have had me working alongside you at QC." 

"It's a family business son, it needs to stay within the family." 

"Ok, I think that's enough shop talk for one meal." Moira cuts in, her tone leaving no room for discussion. She turns her attention to Felicity then. "So tell me dear, how's the wedding planning going? Any complications so far?" 

Felicity's foot moves away from Oliver and her eyes snap to his, widening slightly. He can almost see it in her mind, her labeling him as a 'complication' right across his forehead. And after that moment they shared in her apartment just the other day, he can't exactly be mad at the categorization because it is accurate. But he lets it annoy him anyway. 

Felicity only looks at him for a moment before she brings her attention to his mother and her features change into a more appropriate one. 

"Well what wedding planning doesn't have some complications? But yes, I have run into a couple...snags." 

Oliver purses his lips. He's not sure if he would qualify sleeping with his best friend a snag... 

"Well, being as brilliant as you are Felicity, I'm sure you'll find a way around it." Moira smiles. 

Felicity's smile is tight as she nods in turn. "I hope you're right Moira." Her eyes drift to Oliver briefly and before he can decipher the look she has on her face, Thea diverts her attention. 

"Well you're not going to have to worry about any snags on my end of the bargain. The club is going to be more than ready for your reception and I will be the most perfect bridesmaid." 

Felicity places her hand over Thea's on top of the table. 

"Of that I have no doubt." 

She doesn't meet his eyes for the rest of brunch. 

* * *

Oliver stands at the sink scrubbing his hands over his face. He survived brunch with his family...but just barely. Between his father's interrogation regarding The Gambit, his mother's insistence that he be more attentive during family time, Thea's consistent teasing, and Felicity's... Felicity's what? Lack of attention. 

Oliver knows it shouldn't bother him so much that Felicity wouldn't meet his gaze. He should have been avoiding eye contact as well. Things had gone from better to worse between them because of the other day. And the last thing he should be trying to do is have staring contests with her. They had kissed, well a little more than kissed, but still. And they had done it in such a way that neither could blame stress or heartbreak or confusion or attempts to comfort. They had none of that to hide behind now and if Oliver was being honest with himself, that scared him. What did it mean that they had acted that way under no duress? And more importantly what did it mean that he wished for it to happen again? 

"I'll be right there Thea, I just need to get a tissue." 

Oliver is broken away from his thoughts when the sound of Felicity's voice coming down the hallway makes him open the bathroom door. He steps out into the hallway causing her to almost collide with him. 

Felicity looks up at him in surprise before huffing in annoyance. "What are you doing?" 

"Funny, I should ask you the same thing." 

"I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Why did you come here?" 

She crosses her arms. "I thought we went over this already. I was invited." 

"And you just thought it was a good idea to show up at my family's house after what happened the other day? You didn't think that would be weird at all?" 

"I'm not the one avoiding anybody, especially not family. And I didn't know you were going to be here. As a matter of fact Moria practically begged me to come because she knew you weren't going to, at least she assumed you weren't going to since you never do." 

Oliver is about to respond when he hears someone coming towards them in the hallway. Without a second thought he grabs Felicity's arms, pulls her into the bathroom, closes the door and spins her until her back is against it. She seems to gulp at the familiar position. And their close proximity in the small bathroom causes him to say the first thing that comes to his mind. 

"Why did you kiss me?" 

Her eyes widen. "Excuse me?" Her face darkens a shade of pink. Now she's mad. "Me kiss you? You have to be kidding me right? You kissed me." 

Oliver considers this for a moment before shrugging. "Either way, you kissed me back. Why?" 

She gulps visibly and Oliver feels himself take an involuntary step forward. Looking down at her he can see her eyes darken fractionally. 

"Oliver," she breathes, "what are you doing?" 

He blinks and looks down. He notices the space between them, or lack thereof, and sees he has her practically pressed up against the door. He shakes his head and takes a couple steps back, putting some distance between them. She releases a loud breath and puts her hand up to her chest. 

"I told you yesterday that we can't do that." Her voice sounds weak and he breathes out harshly in frustration, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"I know." 

"Oliver you said we could go back to it not being weird between us. But this," she gestures between them, "is not helping matters any." 

He drops his hand and eyes the floor. "I know." 

"Look I don't know what's going on between us but clearly it's going to take some time to adjust so maybe that's what we should give ourselves." He looks up at her, making her pause momentarily. "Time away from each other." 

He shakes his head slowly. She doesn't understand how impossible staying away from her is, he tried before and failed miserably within a couple of weeks. 

"I won't come here for brunches anymore so you can." She puts her hand on the door knob and turns it slowly. "And you should, your family really misses you." She takes one last look at him before opening the door and slipping behind it. 

Oliver stands in the middle of the bathroom in stunned silence. He doesn't know what's going on between the two of them either but he doesn't think that avoiding each other is the solution. If anything it will make problems worse and the next time they see each other after a long period of avoidance, they'll exploded. And he's not sure what the explosion will entail but it can't be good. Explosions rarely are. 

* * *

The blonde sits at the airport terminal, waiting. With her cap drawn low on her head and her sunglasses on she is able to analyze everything around her without anyone being able to tell. 

A young girl runs to a man, presumably her father, while a woman with a large belly walks behind her. The man scoops up the girl and places his hand on the woman's stomach before kissing her on the lips. 

To the right of the blonde she sees two lovers embracing passionately before one untangles himself and gets in line for a flight headed to Rome. The other lover cries softly as he slowly makes his way to the exit. 

All around the blonde there is activity: departures laced in sadness, reunions basked in happiness. Her phone buzzes and she looks down at the screen. 

I'm here! 

She smiles at the simple message and grabs her duffle bag, throwing it over her shoulder, before getting up and heading towards the parking lot. A couple people make a show of getting out of her way and she smiles politely at them before she spots the all too familiar car. The brunette leaning against it quickly straightens and runs toward her. The blonde drops her duffle bag and meets the other woman halfway. They crash in a tight hug. 

"I can't believe you're actually here!" The brunette sobs into the blonde's neck. 

"I can't either." She smiles in return, squeezing tight before letting go. "You know the first stop I have to make." 

"Aye aye captain." The brunette mock salutes. The two woman laugh as the duffle bag is thrown in the trunk and they get into the front seats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wipes brow* well that was an interesting meal. All those Queens are some characters aren't they? And from here on out you will get more Thea. And who's that mysterious blonde at the airport?  
> Drop a line below&let me know what you all think, it means so much. I love responding to you guys :)  
> Tease of the week: "Whenever you say you're fine it means something most definitely isn't."  
> Much love


	7. What's Mine Is Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!  
> Fair warning: not much direct olicity interaction in this one but a bit of indirect interaction because even when they're not together they are always thinking of one another  
> Thanks for all the comments on the last one and it looks like just about everybody got who the blonde was at the end of the last chapter   
> As always special thank you to my beta ExcellentlyEllen, who is excellent and these would not be up every Thursday without her  
> Hope you enjoy this one :)

Felicity stretches her arms out and finds his side of the bed empty. She moves her hand around, the indent that his body left is still there but the sheets are cold. She sits up groggily and rubs her eyes, her vision adjusting to the dark. "Ray?" She calls out sleepily and looks at the clock on his bedside table. the red numbers indicate that it's 4:25. She rubs her face once more and throws her legs over the side of the bed, standing up. Forgoing her glasses she walks around Ray's apartment until she sees light leaking from underneath the door of his office. 

_Of course._

She opens the door softly to find Ray hunched over his computer. His eyes are bloodshot, the deep bags underneath them making them appear more prominent, and his face is drained of color. With watch pieces scattered about, empty coffee mugs at his side, and his hair sticking up at weird angles he looks like he could be a mad scientist. 

Felicity would laugh if the scene wasn't so heartbreaking. She sighs, pushing herself off the door frame and walking over to his side. 

"Ray..." 

"Just five more minutes I promise." He calls over his shoulder, his voice hoarse. 

"Ray," she places a hand on his bare back and he looks up at her, "how long have you been at this?" 

"Just a couple hours. Wait, what time is it?" 

"A quarter past 4." 

"Wow." He breathes, shaking his head as a sad smile ghosts his lips. "It's been longer than I thought." He looks back to the dismantled watch that rests in front of his computer. "But I really have to finish this..." 

"No, that can wait." She shuts off his computer and he turns to her with his mouth open, ready to protest. 

"We have a long drive to see your parents in Central City tomorrow and I will not be held responsible for their son passing out in the middle of lunch." 

He closes his mouth and his body deflates, the fight going out of him. He looks up at her and smiles softly. "Ok. You're right." 

She caress his face. "Come back to bed." 

He nods his head and she takes him by the hand, leading him back to his bedroom. 

She lies him down and climbs in behind him, wrapping her tiny arms around as much of him as she can. 

He sighs against her body, relaxing instantly. "Thank you Felicity." He yawns, sleep already claiming him. "I love you...so much." 

She places her chin on his shoulder, shutting her eyes. "I love you too." 

And for a moment, after she says those words and before she falls asleep, her mind goes to Oliver. His face forms in her thoughts, and she wonders idly what he's doing. Before she can even register that absurdity of her thoughts she drifts off to sleep, her arms around her fiancé. 

* * *

"Alice you look well!" Felicity leans down to hug the woman. The action made awkward with the wheelchair in the way. "Oh Felicity." The woman blushes, it reaches her forehead and disappears behind the beret she wears to hide her baldness. "You're much too kind my dear." 

Felicity smiles sweetly at Alice. 

"And where's my dear boy?" 

"Right here mom!" Ray makes his way to them, closing the truck of the car and walking up with a big basket in his arm. 

He leans down to kiss his mother on the cheek. "How are you feeling mom?" 

"Oh I'm fine, I'm fine. I don't need you all hovering over me all the time. It's really unnecessary. Speaking of unnecessary..." She looks down at the wheel chair she's in. 

Ray tries not to grimace, Felicity knows firsthand how many times they've had this discussion. Alice is still very stubborn about it. 

"Mom I told you, doctor's orders. He wants you to stay in it _at least_ a few hours after every one of your chemo sessions. It takes a lot of energy out of you. Besides, what are you going to be doing that requires you to be out of that chair?" 

"I have things to do Ray. Lots and lots of _things_." Felicity stifles a giggle at Alice's exasperated expression. Although she is 30 years Felicity's senior, the woman had never acted a day over 20. 

"Like what mom?" Ray straightens as he sees his father come out of the house. 

Alice looks around, and her eyes fall on the front lawn. "I have to cut down that tree, it keeps leaking sap and destroying whatever I try to grow there." 

Ray turns to look at the tree in question and his brows knot in confusion. "I thought Sebastian said he was going to..." 

"Your sister and her husband are still in Hong Kong. Business has kept them there longer than they anticipated." 

Ray turns back around at the sound of his father's voice. "Hey dad." 

The two exchange a hug and the man turns to kiss Felicity on the cheek. 

"Hi Mike." She greets the older man. 

"So does that mean they won't be back in time for the wedding?" Ray asks, disappointment clouding his face. 

"Of course they'll be there, sweetie. Your sister wouldn't miss it for the world." 

Felicity keeps herself from snorting. 

"However, she might not be able to make it to some of the events that come before it. Like the bachelorette party, I'm sorry Felicity." 

Felicity smiles and waves the woman's worries away. "Really Alice, it's no problem." Felicity doubted Isabelle would come to her bachelorette party anyways, even if Felicity invited her...or wanted her there. This way works out better for everyone. Now neither woman has to pretend to be enjoying themselves with the other one there. As much as Felicity adores Ray's family—his mother and father—she does not like his adopted sister, Isabelle. 

Isabelle Rochev, or Rochev-Blood now that Sebastian convinced her to hyphenate, could not stand Felicity and Felicity wasn't a fan of the woman either. They just didn't like each other. And not from lack of trying, at least not on Felicity's part. She tried, honest to God she tried, to get along with Isabelle, to find some common ground for Ray's sake. But the woman had taken one look at Felicity, decided she was not worthy to join the family, and that had basically sealed her fate. She voiced some of her concerns to Ray, not sharing the full extent of the mutual dislike between the two woman, and he had assured her that Isabelle just took a while to warm up to people. 

It had been three years since the two had met, needless to say Isabelle had yet to "warm up". 

"Let's get you kids inside," Mark warns over the sudden gust of wind that hit, "the whether's been crazy lately." 

The four make their way inside, Ray rolling his mother. 

* * *

"You alright man?" Dig asks from across Oliver in the boxing ring. 

Oliver puts down his gloves, holding back a sigh as his shoulders slump forward fractionally. 

He had come into work Monday distracted. He barked out orders here and there but mainly focused on his client list, avoiding his office. He couldn't sit behind a desk and look at more numbers, he had too much energy he needed to burn off. He didn't have the mind to return emails or look at memos so he let them accumulate on his desk. He worked the floor instead, pushing his clients to their limit and after they left he started pushing himself. 

He did sets until he couldn't breathe. He did the salmon ladder until the clanging left him practically deaf. And now he's boxing with Diggle until one of them lets up. 

But, as per usual, Diggle sees right through him. 

"Yeah I'm fine," he says putting his hands back up and jumping on the balls of his feet. 

At his answer Diggle shakes his head and starts to undo the straps of his gloves. 

"What?" 

"Whenever you say you're fine it means something most definitely isn't." 

Oliver drops his stance in frustration. 

"Come on, out with it." 

"You don't get paid to be a therapist." Oliver mumbles, taking his mouth guard out and reaching for his water bottle. 

"No, that comes free with the friendship. Now let's have it, what is it?" 

Oliver ignores him, deliberately squeezing his water bottle, pouring water into his mouth. 

"Is it about Felicity?" 

At the sound of her name Oliver squeezes the bottle a little too hard and almost chokes on the onslaught of water that accompanies it. 

Diggle smiles, "Thought so." 

Oliver isn't ready to let up. "What makes you say so?" 

"Well you almost drowned yourself when I mentioned her just now and we haven't talked about her since 'something'," Diggle's massive finger make air quotes, "happened between you two and Ray got out of the picture." 

"He's back in." Oliver drops his water bottle and adjusts his gloves. 

Diggle looks confused. "Palmer's back in the picture? I thought you said he wasn't." 

"He wasn't. Now he is. Apparently it's complicated." _Like a lot of things seem to be lately._

"I don't get it. What does that mean?" 

"It means the Smoak-Palmer wedding is right on track despite any _snags_ it previously faced." Oliver gets back into his stance and punches the air, ducking and jabbing with great force. The conversation is making his blood boil. 

Diggle scratches his head for a moment. "Wait...So Palmer's back in the picture, does that mean he knows about you and Felicity?" 

"No," Oliver jabs harder and ducks an invisible punch, "I don't think so. Probably not." 

"So you haven't talked to Felicity about this then?" 

Oliver bites out humorless laugh and straightens once again to face Dig. "She made it pretty clear she doesn't want to talk about it. Said we needed 'time away from each other'." His eyebrow creases at the memory. 

"And this is how you're holding up?" 

Oliver's eyes snap back to Diggle. "I'm fine." 

"Riiiight." John drags out the word, letting Oliver know he's not buy it. 

Oliver jumps down from the boxing ring, undoing his gloves and shoving them in his duffle bag. 

"You should come over for dinner tonight." Diggle calls out, leaning against the ropes. 

"No thanks I'm good." 

"Really? What's the last thing you ate?" 

Oliver has to think. "A banana...I think..." 

"And when was that?" 

"When I left the loft. But don't worry I'll order some take out." He zips up his bag and turns to see Diggle shaking his head. 

"C'mon. Lyla's getting home from work early to make dinner. She's been having weird cravings for Chinese lately, bought a book to learn and everything." He shakes his head lovingly at his wife before meeting Oliver's eyes again. "You know she'll kill me if I don't make sure you eat." 

Oliver decides not to fight the man anymore. He nods once in acceptance of the invitation and Diggle jumps down from the ring to clasp Oliver on the back before heading to his own office. 

* * *

"Well Alice, lunch was lovely as always. Leave it to you to make something as simple as grill cheese so mouthwatering." 

"Well thank you dear." Alice smiles at her from across the table as Ray picks up their plates. "If my years in culinary school taught me anything it's that even the seemingly simplest dishes can really benefit from some love and care." Alice smiles warmly and Felicity can't help but return it. 

"You should have seen the lunches she would pack for Isabelle and me. People though we ordered them from restaurants and had them delivered to the school." 

Felicity laughs. 

"Can you believe how ungrateful my kids were, asking me not to make them lunch because kids at school would tease them?" Alice asks, throwing her hands in the air. 

Felicity shakes her head, still laughing. "Well I assure you, Ray's much more well behaved now. He's better." 

"You make me better." Ray says before kissing her soundly on the lips. Felicity smiles at him and grabs her lemonade. 

"Aw you two will make the most perfect babies." Ray's mom announces. Felicity almost chokes on her drink. 

"Oh leave the poor kids alone." Mike chastises from the other room, the basket Ray brought in his hands. 

"What? It's true." Alice says innocently. 

"Never mind her," Mike tells Felicity as he walks into the room with the basket in hand and places it on the table. "Look dear," he turns to Alice, "Ray and Felicity brought some pastries from that place in Starling you love." 

"You kids did?" 

"Yes we did." Ray leans against the back of Felicity's chair. 

"We figured since you made lunch, we'd bring dessert." 

Alice smiles down at the treats. "That is just so sweet. I swear Ray you haven't been this thoughtful since Anna." 

Mike looks at his wife sternly and Ray shifts uncomfortably behind his fiancé. 

"What your mother means to say, is that Felicity brings out the best in you. That much is clear." 

Felicity reaches up for Ray, holding his chin between her forefinger and thumb. "I don't know Mike, you did a pretty good job already. I just evened out the edges." Ray gives her a lopsided smile and she kisses his cheek. 

"Ok well enough talking about me as if I'm not here. Let's eat." Ray moves around to take a seat next to Felicity. 

The four dig into the basket and Ray's phone goes off. 

Alice looks at him disproving. "Ray Palmer." 

"Sorry mom." He ducks his head sheepishly before fishing out his phone and looking at screen. "Oh." 

"What is it honey?" Felicity asks, taking a bite of her scone. 

"Well...I guess since you're all here now's a good a time as any." He reaches out to grab her hand and Felicity laces her fingers with his, a confusion settling on her face. 

"Wayne Enterprises has seen my initial layouts for the watch. And they're interested, very interested." 

"Interested how?" 

He looks down at her, squeezing her hand. "They might offer me a job." 

"Oh honey that's wonderful!" Alice squeals from her wheelchair. 

"Does that mean you'll be getting away from that awful Larson woman?" Mike asks. 

"Yes dad, if all goes well and I am offered the job it means I'll be leaving the company to go work at Wayne Enterprises." 

"Sweetie that's amazing." Felicity kisses her fiancé and pulls back. "What. Wayne Enterprises doesn't have a location in Starling..." 

"I know. It'll mean moving to Gotham. I haven't talked to you about it because the watch is nowhere near ready and I haven't gotten the offer yet. But once I show it to them...it's definitely going to be a possibility for us." 

_Huh_. Everywhere Felicity had lived—Vegas, Boston—she knew was temporary. She was just there to do what she had to do. She didn't think Starling City would be the exception. But she enjoyed the little life she had made for herself. She liked working at Queen Consolidated and living in Starling City. It had become home for her. It's where she became friends with Caitlin, where she had met Ray, where she had figured out how to piggy back off a public wifi signal for work, it's where... _It's where he is_ , he brain provided for her. But she shook off the thought. 

"Well I think this is deserving of a toast!" Mike announces, holding up his glass of lemonade. "To Ray and Felicity, and whatever successful endeavors may come. The future looks bright for you kids." 

"Cheers!"

* * *

_Felicity the last time we took 'some time apart' we end up soaked in your apartment dry humping—_

 _I tried avoiding you before. It didn't work out. It sucked—_

 _

So you want to do this like a custody battle? Fine. Then I get Big Belly—

_

No. No. No. 

Oliver shakes his head, looking down at his phone. He's been at this for hours, starting to type out a message before rethinking it and stopping midway through. He hasn't sent her anything yet but he has at least a dozen different drafts on his phone of the messages he's thought about sending. 

He gives up, again, and puts the phone in his back pocket before knocking on the door. 

Lyla opens after a while, smiling at him. "Oliver, so nice of you to join us." 

"Thanks for the invite." 

"Come in, come in." 

Oliver walks over the threshold, kissing Lyla on the cheek. He's assaulted by the smell of rice and pork cooking. His stomach grumbles loudly, betraying him. 

Lyla laughs. "Johnny mentioned you've been skipping meals. He's in the kitchen, _attempting_ to make ice tea." 

"Succeeding, not attempting." Calls out Diggle's voice and the two follow it to the kitchen where Oliver can see Lyla has multiple pots and pans cooking all at once. 

Dig looks up from his task. "Good to see you Oliver." 

"Need some help there Dig?" He tilts his chin toward the pitcher Diggle has in his hand. He's trying to mix something brown and clumpy into the water to no avail. Instead there's water running down his shirt and all over the counter. 

Lyla shakes her head at him. "I've been asking him that since he took on the little project. But you know how stubborn my husband can be. Maybe you can talk some sense into him Oliver?" She places her hand on his shoulder before moving to stir the rice in one of the pots. 

Oliver takes a step forward, smirking at his friend. "I didn't know ice tea could be so...taxing." 

"This is not ice tea. This is some demonic drink mix sent to test me." 

Lyla snorts from her place in front of the pots. "This is why he's not allowed anywhere near the stove." 

Oliver chuckles. "Here, let me help you." 

In the end the ice tea is unsalvageable. So the trio opt for wine instead, which is much needed after battling with the ice tea. Otherwise, Lyla's cooking is exceptional. 

Oliver's shoving another spoonful of pork fried rice into his mouth when Lyla speaks up. "So Oliver, I understand there was an interesting progression in your relationship with Felicity." 

He freezes mid chew. His eyes slide over to Diggle, who puts his hands up in defense. 

"She's my wife, man, I tell her everything." 

"Besides, who am I going to tell? Some middle aged businessman on his way to a conference?" Lyla and Diggle met in the air. She was a stewardess on his flight back from Afghanistan. They took one look at each other and click instantly. The rest, as they say, is history. 

Oliver groans and drops his head. "How many other people know, Dig?" 

"Hey, you don't see me chatting up people at the gym. I came home after we talked and I told Lyla. That's it." 

"And can I say, I was not surprised. I mean surprised that it took you two this long, but not that it happened." Lyla says nonchalantly, taking a sip of her wine as she picks up her plate. Diggle takes it from her, placing it on top of his own, and walks them to the sink. 

Oliver takes out his phone and opens up his drafts. He stares at the messages he hasn't sent before sighing and putting the phone away. 

"Are you waiting for a call?" 

He looks at Lyla. "No, I'm just...checking." 

"You've been checking it since you got here. If I had to guess I'd say you're trying to compose a message to send to Felicity." 

Oliver's mouth falls open. "How did you..." 

"I stopped asking that a while ago." Dig says, coming back to sit at the table. "You'll go crazy trying to figure it out. I just accepted it, she knows everything." 

"And here I thought you were the wise one." Oliver quips. 

"He just regurgitates everything I tell him." Lyla smiles up at her husband. 

"That's right baby." Diggle gives her a peck on the lips. 

Lyla smiles up at him before turning back to Oliver. "So why haven't you sent her anything yet?" 

"I don't think we should be talking about this." 

"I'm offering you a woman's feedback here Oliver. I'd take it if I were you." 

"I...nothing sounds right. And she said we should take some time away from one another." 

Lyla nods at this. "And the fiancé is back in the picture?" 

Oliver nods solemnly once and Lyla's lip twitches. "I underestimated it before. You got it bad Oliver." 

He gets up from the table. "I was right, we shouldn't talk about this." 

She crosses her legs, leaning back. "Fine, if you don't want to we won't. Why don't you and Johnny turn the game on. I have a pie in the oven." 

"You had time to make a pie too?" Diggle asks, surprised. 

"I don't know what's gotten into me lately, I've had cravings for pie too." 

Diggle shakes his head at her before kissing her temple and leading Oliver out into the living room. 

"She's right you know." Oliver turns to him, eyebrows knot in question. Diggle elaborates. "About having it bad, you do." 

"I thought we weren't talking about it." 

"Oh we're not. I just wanted to make sure you knew."

* * *

"I'm sorry you did say _drive_ right? I didn't mishear you?" Felicity asks anxiously. 

Oliver had shown up at her school, a few weeks after she went to his, and asked her to lunch, offering to drive. An offer she wouldn't have accepted had she known _this_ is what he meant by it. 

"Yes drive." He throws his leg over the thing. "What else are you going to do with a motorcycle?" 

"Get a concussion riding it. Or die! Probably die. Actually most definitely die. Did you know that statistically—" 

He chuckles, cutting her off. "Felicity you're not going to die." 

"How can you be so sure?" 

"Because I would never let anything happen to you." 

The sincerity in his voice strikes her and he takes advantage of her hesitation, holding out a helmet to her. 

"Come on, aren't you hungry?" 

As if it has ears of its own, her stomach growls in reply. 

"Don't you trust me?" 

She huffs and grabs the helmet. "Fine. _Just_ because I'm starving. But if I die, I swear to you Oliver, I will come back to haunt you." She says, straddling the bike behind him. 

He chuckles and she pokes him in the side to show him she means business. "I'm serious." 

"Ok," she can still hear the laugh in his voice, "just make sure to hold on to me tight." 

She wraps her arms around his torso nervously. "I definitely didn't imagine you saying that under these circumstances." Her eyes widen immediately. "Not that I had imagined you saying that at all. Especially under any circumstance that were not _totally_ platonic." 

Felicity can feel him chuckle under her hands and she's happy he can't see how red her face is, although she wouldn't surprise her if he feels it through the helmet and his jacket. 

As he starts the bike she can feel it shaking to life underneath her and she grips Oliver tighter, burying her head in between his shoulder blades. Felicity clenches her eyes shut. She can feel them leaving the parking spot and going onto the street. The sound of the wind whipping across them is loud and she feels it through her lose hair. Her teeth chatter and then, after what feels like hours but she knows can only be minutes, the bike stops vibrating underneath her. 

"Felicity." His voice is soft and she feels his hand tug at hers gently. That's when she realizes that even though the bike has stopped she still has her arms locked around Oliver, her fingers digging into his leather jacket. 

"Oh! Sorry." She untangles herself from him and her fingers ache. 

"We're here." 

"Yeah, I figured." Felicity attempts to get off the bike, but her legs are locked and she wobbles. 

"Woah. Woah! Here, let me help you." Oliver tosses his helmet aside and reaches out to her, pulling her up and off the bike and helping her get to the ground. 

She can feel her legs shaking, as if still on the bike. 

"You okay there?" She hears the smile in his voice as he takes off her helmet. She looks up to glare at him. 

"If by 'okay' you mean I barely made it off that death trap with my life still intact!" 

He laughs. 

Felicity continues to glare until his chuckles start to die down. 

"Sorry." He smiles down at her. "It's just your theatrics and I can't take you seriously with..." He motions to her hair. 

"What?" Felicity's hands shoot up to her head and she quickly turns to look into his review mirror. " _Oh god._ " It's worse than she expect and after a minute of uselessly trying to pat it down, Felicity gives up in a huff. She reaches into her purse and takes out a hair tie, she ties her hair up nice and tight and adjusts her glass. She turns to Oliver. 

He smiles. "Ready?" 

"I don't know. That near death experience kind of ruined my appetite." 

He rolls his eyes and snorts, placing a hand on the small of her back and towing her forward. "Oh c'mon. I thought you said this place was supposed to bring you to your knees. One whiff of what they got cooking in there and I'm sure you'll forget all about your 'near death experience'." 

She doesn't miss the quotation marks in his voice, but dammit he's right. Just smelling the food makes her hungry. Oliver already knows her so well. 

* * *

"But can you believe it Felicity, you're _finally_ going to get married!" 

"Yes mom I know, you've been saying that since I got engaged." Felicity holds the phone between her shoulder and cheek. She paints her toe nails as Donna squeals excitedly over the phone. 

"But honey it's so close! Oh, I can't wait to see your dress! Or the girls in their dresses! What about Ray in his suit...I bet he looks so handsome in his suit!" 

Felicity rolls her eyes lovingly at her mom and switches feet. "My dress is simple, the way I like it. I haven't seen the girls in their dresses yet. And I have no idea what Ray's suit looks like." 

"But I be the looks handsome!" 

"I don't doubt it mom." 

Felicity hears Donna talking to someone else on her end before she addresses Felicity again. "Walter wants to make sure I don't forget to remind you that our flight lands at 6 in the morning, so we'll be there around 8ish. Even though it's _weeks away._ " 

Felicity can tell the last part is not meant for her and can imagine the staring contest going on between her mother and her stepfather. 

"I remember. You know Walter's just being punctual mom, I know it goes against your usual style of show up first, get invited later—" 

"When have I ever done that?" 

Felicity puts the nail polish down, ready to use her fingers to count all the times. "Thanksgiving break my junior year at MIT. My first week working at Queen Consolidated. That time you showed up at the Queen's mansion to sate your own curiosity. My 23rd birthday—" 

"Ok ok." 

Felicity smiles triumphantly. 

"First time, that was my surprise to you for Thanksgiving. Second time, I got a free flight, I refuse to apologize for that. And the third time, I met Walter so I'm not sorry for that either." 

Felicity runs her hand down her face, her mother's impossible. "I think you're kind of missing the point mom." 

"No Felicity, _you're_ missing the point. Why go through life without a little fun, a little adventure, a little uncertainty? If you're not living on the edge every once and a while, then are you even really living?" 

Felicity smiles at Donna's sudden insight. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind." 

"Ok I love you honey. Make sure to give my son-in-law my best." 

"Love you too mom and I will." Felicity smiles and listens to Donna fiddle with her phone before the connection is finally cut. 

She shakes her head at her mother's antics and blows down on her toe nails, hoping to get them to dry faster. 

There's a knock at her door and Felicity gets up, waddling over on her heels as to not disturb the paint. When she gets to the door and opens it her eyes go wide at what awaits her behind it. 

"Hi Felicity."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make it clear the person who shows up at Felicity's door is the same 'mystery blonde' from last chapter   
> Rest assure that even if present day olicity are ten degrees of angst, the flashbacks will always be cute and fluffy  
> Tease of the week: "I can't help but feel like I'm letting her down, like she can find someone else who can do a better job at it than me"  
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)  
> Much love


	8. The Best Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> Again I can't thank you all enough for your comments :)  
> As I introduce more characters, this universe gets bigger so this chapter jumps to all different points of views  
> Enjoy!  
> And as always this wouldn't be possible without ExcellentlyEllen

Oliver and Thea sit on the couch of his living room, controllers in hand. They are playing a game of Halo on his x-box. It's getting intense. 

"Boo-ya!" 

Thea is winning. 

She pumps her fist in the air and Oliver's controller vibrates in his hand, signaling his death. 

"How in the hell do you know how to play this game? You don't even _own_ an x-box." 

Thea shrugs, eyes intently on the game. "I had a...friend a while back who taught me how to play. And I'm just naturally really good at kicking your ass." She side-eyes him. 

"You are not kicking my ass." As if to prove his point, Oliver throws a grenade at her character. 

Thea frowns. "You're a sore loser." 

He sticks his tongue out at her, she does the same. 

They play another round and after the third time Thea blows up his character, he chucks the controller down on the couch. 

She smiles triumphantly and moves forward to grab a slice of pizza from the box that lays open on the coffee table in front of them. "I could give you some pointers some time, you know." She smiles cheekily at him and Oliver gets up from the couch. 

"Careful Speedy, if your head gets any bigger you won't be able to fit it through the door and I'll never get rid of you." 

"Hey!" Oliver hears his sister's protest before a pepperoni slice comes flying at his face. He catches it in his mouth easily, sending Thea a toothy grin. 

She rolls her eyes and turns back around on the couch. "Show off." 

He moves around the kitchen, pouring himself some water and grabbing a soda for Thea. 

"So what's the deal with your neighbor?" 

"Which one?" Oliver asks, walking back into the room. 

"That girl I met last time I was here, the pretty one." 

"Iris?" 

"That's the one." Thea leans back, crossing her arms over her chest and smiling wickedly. "So you admit she's pretty?" 

Oliver has to suppress his groan and eye roll. "What are you doing Thea?" 

"Have you asked her out? She's not seeing anyone right now." 

"And how would _you_ know that?" 

She shrugs. "A girl can tell...also it may have come up in conversation." 

"You've talked to her? You're unbelievable." He shakes his head. 

Thea sits upright. "Well if I don't talk to her, you won't! I can't make all the moves for you Oliver." 

"Is there some kind of matchmaking society I'm not aware of? A 'get Oliver a date' club that I didn't get the memo about?" 

"Why? Who else has brought up your recent lackluster love life?" 

Oliver thinks back to the other night at Diggle's house. "No one." He grumbles, picking up a slice of pizza. 

Thea sits with her legs crossed, staring at his profile. "Aw c'mon Ollie! When's the last time you met someone? Or went on a date?" 

"I go on plenty of dates." 

"One night stands do not count. Honestly, when's the last time you had a real connection with someone? The last time you could actually see yourself with someone in the long run? Name one person since Helena." 

"Ok, first of all," Oliver grabs the remote for the TV and switches off the x-box, "Helena was years ago. And I'm not talking about this with you right now. Or ever, for that matter." He settles deeper into the couch, making it clear he has no intention of continuing this conversation. 

Thea stares at him before letting out a long breath and dropping her arms, nestling next to him. "Fine. But you should ask Iris out. She likes you and I know she'll say yes." 

He cast his eyes at his sister, lifting a brow. 

She puts her hands up in defense, her best innocent face on. "That's it. That's all I have to say on the matter. I'm done, I swear." 

They turn back to the TV while Oliver channel surfs, looking for something good on.

* * *

"Hi Felicity." 

Felicity stares at the woman dumbfounded, frozen in place. It takes her a moment to recover, she blinks her eyes slowly. "Sara?" 

The woman smiles. 

"Sara!" Felicity throws her arms around her best friend, almost knocking them both down. 

Sara laughs into Felicity's hair, dropping her bags so she can return the hug. "Surprised?" 

"Yes! How are you here? I can't...I can't believe it. You're _here._ I mean you're here here! How...?" 

Sara chuckles as they release each other. Felicity holds her at arm's length and runs her eyes down Sara's length. Not quite believing what she's seeing. 

"Where else would I be?" 

"Uh, overseas. Where I thought you were this whole time." 

"Like I was going to miss your wedding? I am the maid of honor, you know." 

Felicity laughs in response, helping Sara into the apartment. 

"When did you get back?" Felicity asks, closing the door and leading Sara to the couch. 

"Yesterday. Laurel picked me up from the airport and helped me rent a car." 

"Laurel's in town too?" 

"Of course. The Lance sisters are not going to miss the wedding. She just couldn't tell you because she knew you would ask her to take my place in the ceremony and my sister's an awful liar..." 

"Wait. How did she know that?" 

"I told her." At Felicity's inquisitive look Sara elaborates. "Ray told me." 

"You've been talking to Ray?" 

"I had to coordinate my arrival with your fiancé." 

Felicity shakes her head, incredulous. "So am I the only one who didn't know you were coming?" 

"No. Lots of people don't know, my mom included, but you're the most important one since the surprise is for you." 

Felicity wraps her arms around Sara again. "I really can't believe you're here." 

Sara rubs her back. "I know, I'm surprised it worked out too. But I've been planning this for months so—" 

"You mean everyone's be lying to me for months and I didn't even notice?" 

"Well it's easy to do when you're busy planning a wedding. Wedding brain, that's a thing right?" 

Felicity smiles at her friend. "So I've heard." 

Sara smiles brilliantly and Felicity can't believe how much she's missed her. 

"Ok so tell me everything. When you didn't write back to me for a month you had me kind of worried." 

Sara smiles, settling into the couch. "All part of my master plan." 

"Well come on, spill. How was everything?" 

Sara sighs. "Hot. Very hot." 

"And...what about your commanding officer? What was her name, Nyssa?" 

Sara blushes and looks down. "What about her?" 

A smile tugs on Felicity's lips. "Oh c'mon now. You think I can't tell when you like someone? Even over writing?" 

"There's really nothing to tell..." 

"I know you better than that." 

Sara tugs a strand of hair behind her ear before looking up at Felicity's expectant face. "Fine." 

Felicity claps excitedly. 

"What do you want to know?"

* * *

Cisco and Ray move busily around the lab, picking up papers from here and taking them there, comparing watch parts, crossing out ideas on the whiteboard. They're so enthralled by the project there are working on that they don't notice the brunette standing at the door of lab. 

It isn't until she clears her throat and knocks softly that Ray even looks up. 

"Hi." She smiles nervously. 

"Anna." Ray sets down the file in his hand and straightens. 

"Is this a bad time?" 

"Uh...no no. Come in, what are you doing here? I mean when did...I didn't know you were in Starling." 

"I'm not. Well unofficially I am, I've been working at Central City General, they just lent me out to Glade's Memorial." 

Ray stares at the woman dumbfounded. Cisco bumps his shoulder with his own. 

Ray snaps out of it. "Oh sorry. Cisco this is Anna. Anna this is Cisco. He's my coworker, closest friend..." 

"Best man." Cisco supplies, the title still brings him a sense of pride. 

"It's nice to meet you." Anna steps forward, shaking Cisco's hand. 

"And how do you know Ray?" 

"Anna's..." 

"We're old friends." Anna finishes and Ray nods. 

"Ah." Cisco looks between the two. 

"But we haven't seen each other in years. How did you know where to find me?" 

"I ran into your mom at the hospital. She mentioned you worked here." 

"Oh. She forgot to tell me that..." 

"Well I'm probably interrupting. I just wanted to say hi and see if you wanted to catch up some time, maybe grab some coffee." 

"You guys can go now." Cisco suggests. 

"But we're not done yet." 

"And we're not gonna finish today. Besides you haven't taken a lunch break yet. Go get some coffee and get some food in you or your fiancé is going to be walking down the aisle to a ghost." 

"You sure?" 

"Go. I work better without you muttering under your breath anyway." 

Ray laughs and clasps him on the shoulder. "Thank you. I won't be more than 20 minutes." 

Cisco rolls his eyes good naturally and goes back to working on his tablet. 

* * *

They sit across each other with coffees in hand. Awkward silence hangs thick between them. "How long have you been back?" Ray asks, unable to keep the question to himself anymore. 

Anna looks up at him. "A few weeks." 

Ray nods, taking a sip of coffee. "When you left I didn't think I'd ever see you again." 

Anna smiles wistfully at the memory. "Right. Me and my one woman mission to save the world." 

"Did you? Save the world I mean." 

She looks down at her coffee, picking at the label. She takes a deep breath. "Uganda was...an experience. I learned a lot but needless to say, it was not something I was prepared for. There are limitations with what you can do with medicine. There are some things you just can't cure. I had to learn that the hard way over there." She finally looks back up at him. 

"And now you're back. But only temporarily?" 

She nods. "There was an opening at Central City General so I took it. I was planning to stay there only long enough to figure out what my next move would be. But Glade's Memorial needed extra help so I'm here for now." 

"Any guess as to where you'll go next?" 

"Maybe Haiti." 

Ray blows on his coffee. "That's ambitious." 

Anna smiles, sliding her hand across the table. "Well you know me." 

He looks down at her hand. "I'm getting married." It feels weird to just say it like that, leave it hanging in the air, but he feels he should say it regardless. 

Her hand moves back. "Your mother told me. Showed me pictures too. She's beautiful. The two of you look really happy." 

"We are." 

"I'm happy for you Ray. You deserve to be happy." 

"Anna, the way we left things..." 

She shakes her head and the words die in his throat. "Don't worry about it. I don't even think about it anymore. I just wanted to make sure you were doing good and, as it turns out, you're doing great. Your mom tells me you might even be moving to Gotham?" 

He smiles in spite of himself, shaking his head slowly. "Well at least you know she's as chatty as always." 

She smiles too and picks up her coffee, sliding off the stool. "Well I better get going. It was really nice seeing you Ray." Anna pats his shoulder and walks out of the coffee shop, leaving him there feeling the same way he did 5 years ago. 

* * *

"So growing up in Vegas, that must of been wild, huh?" Tommy's question causes Felicity to roll her eyes at him lovingly. 

She and Oliver had been friends for months now, seeing each other semi-regularly. She would visit him or he would visit her or they would meet up somewhere in the middle. It helped that they were only twenty minutes away from each other. Sara and Tommy became regular tag alongs in their visits and outings. Soon it became a weekly occurrence for the four of them to go out as a group. Occasionally they brought others along with them. 

Like tonight for instance. Oliver had brought along his roommate Slade, who had in turn brought his girlfriend Shado. 

"Well it was definitely something, but wild is not the word I would use to describe it. It was really hot and honestly kind of boring growing up there. You're not old enough to do anything fun." 

"So you do it anyway! Even more fun." Tommy takes a bite of his pizza victoriously, as if he just made a wonderful point. 

"Well not everybody can be as badass as you Merlyn." Sara interjects, stealing a pepperoni off his pizza. 

Shortly after Oliver and Felicity's friends had met, they discovered that Sara's older sister, Laurel, who lived with her father, was dating Tommy, Oliver's best friend. Small world. 

"Oh yeah, says the women's studies major. Tell me what exactly are you going to do with that degree?" Tommy retorts. 

"Oh I am so beyond sick of that question. I am going to be an educated and educational activist, helping people. But you wouldn't know anything about that now would you Merlyn?" 

Felicity turns her head and catches Oliver's eye, they give each other a knowing look. 

"Are those two always like that?" Slade asks in his deep Australian accent. 

Felicity chuckles. Oliver nods. "It's just some pre in-law tension. They know they'll be related soon, that's all." 

"So how's the band doing Slade?" Felicity asks. "Got any good gigs lately?" 

"We'll that's hard to do when you can't really explain your sound to people looking to hire. It also doesn't help that up until a week ago we still couldn't agree on a name." 

"Oh, you finally settled on one?" 

"Yeah, Mirakuru. It means miracle in Japanese. Shado picked it out." He hugs the girl closer and she smiles up at him. 

Felicity looks down at her cup and notices it's empty. "Oh, I better go get a refill." 

"I'll come with you." Shado says as Felicity slides out of the booth. 

Shado gives a Slade a quick peck on the lips. "Be right back." 

The girls walk over to the soda fountain. 

"How's medical school going?" 

"It's tough." Shado admits as Felicity puts Sprite into her cup. "But I really like it. I'm just worried for my parents back home, I know their expenses must be a lot." 

Felicity nods, releasing Dr. Pepper into her cup. "Yeah but I bet their biggest concern is your education. I'm sure they won't mind once you're out there saving lives." 

"I guess you're right." Shado eyes Felicity's cup, now overflowing with Cherry Coca-Cola. "What are you doing?" 

Felicity follows her gaze down to her cup. "What?" 

"Did you just mix different sodas?" 

"Yeah. Why?" 

"That's weird." 

Felicity puts the lid back on. "No it's not." 

"Yes it is." 

The girls make their way back to the booth. 

"Did you guys know that Felicity mixes sodas?" Shado asks as they sit back down. Felicity kicks her under the table. 

The question seems to pull Tommy and Sara out of their argument. Tommy's eyes widen as he turns to look at Felicity. "Is that true Smoak?" 

Felicity shrugs. "Yeah." 

That seems to trigger something within Tommy. "What?! That's literally insane." 

"I don't see what the big deal is." 

"Don't worry Felicity, Tommy never learned how to properly use the word 'literally' in a sentence." 

"Oh shut it Sara." Tommy says before turning back to Felicity. "You mean to tell me you just pour all the sodas in there willy nilly and just drink it like that? You don't take the time to bask in the flavor of each, to enjoy the bouquet?" 

"Tommy we're talking soda here, not wine." 

"That's not the point Felicity—" 

Oliver puts a hand on his shoulder. "I got this man." He informs Tommy, then addresses Felicity. "What Tommy is trying to say is that, as a soda enthusiast he is offended that you, or anyone for that matter, would destroy the integrity of a soda by not drinking it in its pure form." 

Sara makes a fart sound with her mouth. "Oh please, what a load of crap." She leans toward Tommy across the table. "Tell me Merlyn, is this a Pepsi versus Coke thing or is this the marketing major in you talking?" 

That starts a whole other round of debates while Slade and Shado watch in amusement.

* * *

Thea scribbles her signature and hands the clipboard back to the delivery man. 

"Thanks. Have a nice day." 

"You too." She places the box on the bar and two construction workers walk up to her. 

"Ms. Queen?" 

"Hmm?" She turns around to them. 

"You said you wanted the archway to be 9 feet high." 

"That's correct." 

"Well the columns are just a little over 8 and a half. We're going to have to subtract about half a foot from the archway's placement." 

"What? No that's not supposed to happen." Thea turns around and grabs the blueprints. She studies them for a moment before sighing. They're right. Her original calculations were off. "What if we put a platform under the columns? Elevate them half a foot?" 

"A platform would raise them but it wouldn't be able to support the weight of the column or the archway." 

Thea pushes her hair back. At this rate the club was never going to be ready. 

"They're right you know." The familiar voices makes Thea freeze in her movements and her breath still. She doesn't turn around. "The columns are way too heavy for anything to support their weight. But the archway isn't. I would put something on top of the columns to make up for the height difference." 

The construction workers look down at the prints. "That could work...Ms. Queen?" 

Thea grinds her teeth, keeping her back to the intruder. "Try it." 

They nod and make their way back to the site, leaving Thea alone...with him. 

"Hi Thea." He tries and she closes her eyes, looking for strength. 

She finds it and uses it to push herself off the bar and walk around, collecting paperwork, making it a point to ignore him. 

"It's nice to see you again." 

"The club isn't open yet. You're trespassing on private property right now." Her voice is steel and his hesitance makes her feel powerful. 

"Thea...please." 

She pauses, straightening her back. She can feel him take a step forward. 

"Am I going to need to have you escorted out?" 

"Thea don't do this. It's me. You know me." 

She turns around, finally facing him. Her heart clenches, just like it did that very first night off the side of the road, the smoke coming from her car engulfing the both of them. He hasn't changed much. He looks practically the same except...maybe a little harder? He's a little bulkier than she remembers, but still lean. He might even be a little taller but still on the short side of average for a man his age. His face, his angular face, is still the same. And his eyes, the eyes she looked into countless nights, the eyes that twinkled when they would take long car rides with the top down, the eyes that matched the powerful waves they would encounter at the beach, the eyes that promised her forever that last night... _those_ eyes haven't changed one bit. And it upsets her. 

"I knew a boy that looked like you once." She says, stepping around him. "I loved him, he was sweet and kind. Or at least that's what I thought. Then one day he left, no goodbye, no explanation, no nothing. That boy died that night, as far as I'm concerned. Turns out, he wasn't all that nice and sweet like I had thought." 

"Thea—" The plea is in his voice but it only serves to further strengthen her resolve. 

"Now you can leave now or I can have someone walk you out. The choice is yours Roy." 

He closes his mouth and looks at her. She stares him down, arms crossed, hip cocked to a side. 

He purses his lips and frowns, walking right past her. She holds her breath when he brushes against her shoulder. 

Once he's gone she releases her breath and her body slumps. 

"Ms. Queen?" A construction workers appears and she tries to right herself again. 

"Yes?" 

"Looks like the gentleman's suggestion is going to work." 

She shakes her head. _Of course it is..._

* * *

"Keep that arm straight." Oliver instructs as the woman he's training continues to throw her fists at the punching bag he's standing behind. She follows his instructions, straightening her arm. 

"There you go, that's better." 

He lets her keep going until she looks worn out. "Ok stop. Really good job today, your form's getting better. Why don't you hit the showers, see you next Wednesday?" 

She nods and smiles, picking up her towel and patting her forehead with it. 

"All our trainers are busy today, you need an appointment." Carrie says by the door. 

"But I know Oliver." 

Oliver turns at the sound of Palmer's voice. Ray catches his eye and waves at him. Carrie turns to him and mouths 'no appointment' while pointing at Ray. 

Oliver shakes his head, _what's he doing here?_ "It's fine Carrie, I'll talk to him." 

Carrie looks at him for a second before nodding and letting Palmer past her. 

"Hi, Oliver!" The man greets happily coming to shake his hand. 

"What are you doing here Ray?" He knows his voice is rougher than necessary but he's had three back to back appointments since 8 so he has the right to be tired...and a little annoyed. 

Ray seems unaffected by his mood. Either that or he's really bad at picking up on social cues... "Felicity says I've been losing too much weight. I haven't been eating that much and my sleeping schedule is practically nonexistent." 

"Isn't this something you should be telling a doctor or...a therapist?" Oliver is impatient for him to get to the point. 

Ray huffs out a small laugh. "Right. Anyways, I went to the tailor yesterday, my tux was a little long so I had to get it altered. Well I try on the suit and it practically engulfs me. My tailor says he's going to have to take it in from the sides _a lot_ unless I get back to my normal weight." Ray stops talking at Oliver stands there with his eyebrow raised. 

"This still doesn't tell me why you're here." 

"Oh! Yes, uh, I want you to help me bulk up. I figure if I put a little muscle on, my suit will fit me again. Felicity had mentioned a while back how good and fast you are with results when your clients really work hard. And I'm prepared to work hard." He looks at the gym around him. "Also, oddly enough, I've never been here before. It's a nice little place." 

Oliver's face remains fixed in a scowl. Of course after Felicity tells him they need space from each other, her fiancé comes waltzing into his gym. The timing would be comical if it wasn't so damn depressing. Oliver glances up at Palmer. He's looking around The Gambit in a sort of childlike wonderment and Oliver thinks back to the question Lyla posed at dinner. It's obvious, looking at him now, that Ray doesn't have the faintest clue regarding what happened between Oliver and Felicity. So of course leave it to Palmer to cluelessly walk in here and ask for help from the man that slept with his fiancé just over a month ago. 

He's inclined to help Palmer, he is a business man first and foremost, but looking around the gym he knows he'll have to be the one to train him. Diggle's on his lunch break, Ted's about to take on another client, and Carrie's manning the phones. 

He sighs, looking up at Palmer. "Ok, I let my two o'clock go early and my next appoint isn't until four, so let's go." 

"Yeah?" He has an excited gleam in his eye. 

"Yes but you have to change out of those clothes." 

Ray looks down at his crisp white button up and tie. "Right..." 

Oliver holds in an exasperated sigh. "Here." He hands him an t-shirt with the gym's logo on it, "There's a changing room in the back. Hurry up." 

Ray smiles at Oliver and hastily makes his way in the direction Oliver pointed at. Shaking his head, Oliver walks over to the weights and begins getting them set up. He hears a grunt and a smack from the other side of the gym. Turning to investigate, he sees Ted on the floor holding onto his ankle. 

"Grant?" Oliver asks, taking a step forward. 

"I'm fine." Ted croaks out. 

Carrie gets up from the desk and walks over to him. Crouching down she removes his hand to inspect for herself. She makes a face. "You're a damn liar Ted." She looks up at Oliver. "It doesn't look pretty." 

"It's fine." Ted argues. He tries to stand up but when he puts weight on his ankle he almost collapses. 

"Stay down." Oliver orders. "You need to get that checked out." 

Carrie leaves to go get a bucket of ice. 

"Don't send me to the hospital. It's not as bad as it looks." 

"I'll have Dig check it out. He'll tell you if you have to go to the hospital or not, he can assess it better than I can." Oliver pulls out his phone and Carrie arrives with a bucket in hand. 

"We gotta get that machine fixed," she places the bucket in front of Ted, "this is more water than ice." 

She moves to bring a chair for Ted to sit on while Oliver sends Diggle a text. 

"What's going on?" Ray comes close to Oliver, knocking his phone out of his hand and into the bucket of water and ice. "Opps..." 

Oliver takes a deep breath. 

"Sorry." 

He has to remind himself that he can't choke Ray Palmer out, especially not in a room full of witnesses. Though he doubts any of them would throw him under the bus... 

"Oliver?" 

"It's fine." He takes his phone of the bucket, shaking it a few times. Water droplets fall out. "Let's get you set up on the weights." 

Ray nods and silently walks over to them. 

Oliver places a hand on Grant's shoulder as Carrie helps him onto the chair. "I texted Diggle, he'll be here shortly. If he says you have to go to the hospital, you go. Ok? I don't want to hear you fighting him on that." 

Ted smirks. "Ok dad." 

"Smartass." Oliver walks over to where Ray is laying on the bench. 

"You've pressed before?" He asks. 

"Yeah...in college. I don't remember how much I can handle though..." 

"Ok, we'll start off slow." 

Oliver adjust the weights and let's Ray get used to them before he starts lifting, lowering them to his chest before pushing them all the way up. Oliver gradually adds more weight. 

The situation would be fine if Palmer would stop talking...particularly about Felicity. 

"She's really stressing out huh? I know she says she can handle it, and I don't doubt it because she can handle a lot, but I know should be pulling more weight...oh that's funny. Get it? _Pulling more weight_." 

"Ray focus." 

"Right sorry." 

It's only a minute before he speaks up again. 

"Has she mentioned it?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Feeling stressed I mean. Does she feel like I'm dumping all this stuff on her because I've been spending a lot of time on my project at work?" 

"I...Felicity hasn't talked about the wedding a lot," that's sort of true, "we haven't seen each other in a while." Another half-truth. 

"I wish I could do more. Be more attentive with the wedding planning. I can't help but feel like I'm letting her down, like she can find someone else who can do a better job at it than me." 

Oliver speaks through gritted teeth. "I'm sure that's not true." Now _that_ is an outright lie. 

Ray puts the bar back on the hooks and sits up. "You really think so?" He's face is so open, so earnest. 

Oliver has to clear his throat. "Let's have you stretch before we do any more." 

He gets up and follows Oliver to the open matted area. "What about that?" 

Oliver stops and turns to look where Ray is pointing. "What about it?" 

"Can I do that next?" 

"The salmon ladder? No. We're gonna start you off with something a little more simple." 

"And work our way up to that?" He asks, hopeful. 

"Start stretching Ray."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so I'm expanding a bunch of small b stories and with Roy and the Lance sisters coming into town, there are a lot of cool interactions to come.  
> Tease of the week: "You don't owe me anything. I messed up and I will spend the rest of our life together trying to fix that."  
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	9. Breaking The Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves!  
> Absolutely loved all the comments from the last one. Lot of people talking about Anna and loving the Ray/Oliver interaction, makes me very happy :)  
> As always this wouldn't be possible without my wonderful beta ExcellentlyEllen  
> Enjoy!

Felicity's eyes roll to that back of her head. "Mmm." She moans appreciatively. 

Ray chuckles beside her. 

"This one is _so good._ " 

"That's what you said about the last three." 

Felicity's eyes snap up to him. "Well it's true. They're all so good! Here," she cuts off a piece of cake and scoops it up with her fork, presenting it to him, "taste it." 

Ray dips his head and wraps his mouth around the fork, chewing thoughtfully. "It's good." 

"See! I told you. Can we just get them all?" 

"Sure, if you don't mind the guests sitting on the floor and the bridesmaids wearing rags. Because that's the only way we'll be able to afford all these cakes." 

Felicity considers this, rubbing her chin in mock contemplation. "That could work if we go for a very spiritual, meditative theme. The whole 'less is more' thing. I think we can pull it off." 

Ray laughs and swoops down to kiss her lips briefly. "You have to pick." 

Felicity pouts. "Do I _have_ to?" 

"Yes." 

She releases a breath. "Fine." She looks over at the plates around her. "I'll go with either...the French vanilla buttermilk...or the chocolate mousse." 

"Ok well at least we got it down to two." 

She nods happily, lacing her arm through his. 

"Now we just gotta decide between the two. Can't have both, that would just be selfish and the logistics just wouldn't work." He shakes his head, "No. We just have to make a choice a stick to it, say goodbye to the other one." He smirks at the absurdity of his words, having to say goodbye to a cake. 

But Felicity gulps at his words, her mind no longer on cakes. 

"It's a good thing I started seeing Oliver. With all this cake tasting I might start gaining weight in my gut instead." 

She moves her head back sharply to look at him. "You saw Oliver?" 

He keeps his eyes on the cake prices. "Yes I did." 

"When? Why?" 

"The other day. I wanted him to help me bulk up before the wedding. I want to look good for you baby." He flashes her a smile before turning his attention back to the cakes. 

"Ray?" She tugs his arm softly and he turns his head toward her while still looking at the paper in his hand. 

"Hmm?" 

"I have to tell you something." He looks down at her with an open face, waiting. She takes a deep breath to ready herself. She should have told him this weeks ago. "Something happened. When you...left and called everything off I...well I was feeling lost and didn't know what to do with myself and so I—" 

He places a hand on her arm, cutting her off softly and she looks up at him. 

"You don't have to tell me." 

"No Ray, you need to know." 

"No I don't. I already know." 

Felicity looks up at him confused. He can't possibly know. 

He turns to face her and takes her cheeks in each hand. "Look, when I left, it was dumb of me. I shouldn't have run away from you. And even though you've forgiven me, that doesn't change what happened. I know me leaving you hurt, I know it broke the trust you had in me. And I know that trust didn't magically reappear just because I did. I'm going to have to work to earn it all back completely and I'm prepared for that. So any doubts you have in me, in _us_ , that arose from me leaving, those are all my fault. I burden the blame, it's on me." 

Felicity is left breathless by his words and stunned by the sincerity in them. But he doesn't understand. 

"Ray—" 

He leans forward and kisses her soundly. When they part he keeps their foreheads touching. "It's okay Felicity." He assures, smiling down at her. "You don't owe me anything. I messed up and I will spend the rest of our life together trying to fix that." 

Felicity looks into his eyes, searching for anything dishonest. When she comes up empty, the fight leaves her. She decides not to push the matter further. "Okay." 

His smile in reply is brilliant and he holds her face for a second longer before dropping his hands and interlacing their fingers. "So now for the hard part...chocolate or vanilla?" 

Felicity just stares at their fingers. 

"No allergies in your family right? Besides your peanut one." 

She shakes her head. "Not that I know of." 

"Hmm, ok well that doesn't help us. Oh you know what," he holds up the cake menu for her to see, "there's a marble cake. We didn't try that one. We'll have them bring it out, see if we can compromise. What do you think?" 

She hides her face in his arm, her words muffled by his sleeve. The simple truth, "I don't deserve you."

* * *

"Oliver Queen!" 

Oliver's ears perk up at the sound of his name. 

"Oh Mr. Queen!" 

His eyebrows shoot up. _I know that voice..._

He gets up from his chair, abandoning his papers on the desk, and walks out of his office. 

"Boo!" She jumps out of her crouched position and he takes a step back. 

"Sara?" 

"The one and only, in the flesh." 

He throws his head back in laughter before engulfing her in a hug. 

"It's been a while, huh?" Sara says, patting him on the back before they pull away. 

"Too long." He agrees, taking a step back to seize her up. "You got that nice Army glow about you." 

She rolls her eyes, "Ever the charmer Oliver." 

He shrugs. "I guess it's just one of those things that never change." 

"Speaking of things that never change," Laurel steps into view, entering through the main doors and lugging a large duffle bag behind her, "you left this in the car Sara." 

"Only because I knew my trusty sister-slash-keeper-of-all-my-things would bring it for me. And you did. Reliable as ever." 

Laurel stops dragging the bag to narrow her eyes at her sister. "Bite me." 

Sara grins in reply. 

"Laurel." Oliver moves to her and the two embrace around the bag. "I didn't know the Lance sisters were in town." 

"That's kinda the point." 

"Yeah," Sara skips forward to stand next to the two of them, "we wanted it to be a surprise for Felicity." 

"Oh." 

"You need a hand with that?" 

They all turn at the sound of the voice and see Ted, crutches under his arms, waddle up to them. He addresses Laurel as he gestures to the bag with his chin. 

She looks at him incredulously. "I hope _you're_ not the one offering." 

Ted blinks, taken aback. "Excuse me?" 

"Well you're simply in no position to be offering your assistance so I think I'll mange just fine on my own." 

He looks at her dumbfounded for a moment before turning his head to Oliver. "Wow. Your friend's kinda mean Queen." 

Oliver shrugs. "She's from San Francisco." 

Laurel whips her head back at him, looking offended. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" 

Oliver raises his hands up in defense, taking a step back. 

"And I'll remind you that I'm from Starling originally." 

"Don't pay her any mind," Sara says, taking the duffle bag from Laurel and sliding it onto her shoulder with ease, "she's been this grumpy since she passed the bar exam." 

"I am not grumpy!" 

"Oh, looks like he have a wildcat on our hands." Ted says cheekily. 

Laurel turns to him, arms crossed. "I'm sorry, who are you?" 

"Ted. Grant. I'm a trainer here." 

"Ok well _Ted_ , first of all, this isn't a James Bond movie so you can say your name in one sentence," his eyebrows shoot up at that, "and second, who can you possibly train in your condition? I mean look at you." She turns to address Oliver. "This guy is a lawsuit just waiting to happen." 

"Thank you for the legal advice Laurel." 

She nods and turns back to Sara. "Call me when you're done, okay? Let me know if you're coming back to the hotel or if you're going to spend the night at Felicity's." 

"Alright _mom_." 

"Don't even joke about that, you still have to call mom and let her know you're in town and explain why you didn't tell her earlier." 

Sara grimaces at that. 

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Okay. See you later, love you." She pulls Sara into a tight hug. "It was nice to see you Oliver." 

"Always a pleasure Laurel." He kisses her cheek and she turns on her heel. 

"It was nice meeting you as well." Ted calls after her. 

"Lawsuit." She barely acknowledges over her shoulder before exiting the gym. 

Oliver whistles low, Laurel always did know how to make an exit. Suddenly he's assaulted with memories of the Laurel/ Tommy Halloween fight of '09. He has to repress a shudder. 

Ted watches her leave before turning back to the other two. "Who was that?" 

Sara sighs. "Dinah Laurel Lance ladies and gentleman, savior of the world and ultimate buzz kill since '91." 

Oliver snorts and rolls his eye. 

"I like her." Grant says. 

Sara pats his shoulder. "Good luck with that. You'll need it." 

Oliver smirks. "What's the duffle bag for? And when did you even get back to the States?" 

"Only a couple days ago. But I'm already feeling restless, my body's not use to long periods of relaxation. I have to keep busy, constantly moving. Which is what the duffle bag is for. I thought I could work out here for a bit. If that's alright?" 

Oliver nods his head and takes a step back, opening the floor to her. "Sure, be my guest. Just try not to intimidate my clients too badly. We do need repeat business." 

She smirks. "No promises." 

He follows her onto the mat and she deposits her duffle bag on one of the small benches there. She opens up the bag and pulls out an elastic, tying her hair up in a high ponytail. She takes out weights and starts doing lunges with them curled to her chest. 

"So how have things been around here?" 

"Not nearly as exciting as where you are but it's going." 

Sara shakes her head, going in for a deep lunge. "I hear business is better than okay." 

"Yeah, we're managing pretty well considering." 

"That's what Felicity said." 

Oliver looks away at the mention of her name. They haven't seen each other in days. The thought has his skin crawling with the need to see her. He can't get rid of the image of her ducking her head and escaping from the bathroom in his parent's house or the image of her panting and soaking wet, pressed up against the door in her apartment with her dress bunched up around her waist. He shakes his head, it's neither the time nor the place. "Yeah you really worried her when you went MIA and didn't respond to her letters." 

A small smile plays on Sara's lips. "Well Felicity's a natural worrier. Remember Tommy's farewell party?" 

Oliver laughs. "I remember. She almost pulled out her hair in frustration." 

"She almost had _me_ pulling my hair out in frustration. And I thought Laurel had people beat in the micromanaging front." 

"No, Felicity can be very a good delegator when she puts her mind to it. The party was perfect though." 

"That it was. Speaking of," Sara looks around inconspicuously, as if to make sure no one is listening, "have you spoken to Tommy?" 

"He's flying in in a couple days." 

"Does Laurel know?" 

"No. I didn't even know Laurel was coming." 

"Well I guess it's kind of a no-brainer. I mean Tommy wouldn't miss Felicity's wedding." 

Oliver's fingers twitch and he moves to pick up weights of his own. 

"You alright?" Sara asks, stopping her lunges and putting her weights down. 

"Yeah. Why?" He continues his curl ups at a rapid pace. 

"Your eye was twitching." 

"No it wasn't." 

"Yes it was. Watch. Felicity." 

One look at Sara's face and Oliver knows he did in fact twitch. "I got something in my eye earlier today. I think it's still there." 

"Oh." 

He decides to change the topic quickly. "Diggle's gonna love to see you. I bet he's just dying to have someone to swap stories and battle scars with." 

"Sounds fun." 

"Let me text him actually." Oliver puts down his weights to dig his phone out of his pocket. After messing with the keys for a while he drops it onto the bench. "Mind if I use your phone instead?" 

"No, go right ahead. It's in the left outside pocket," she gestures to her duffle bag. 

He fishes it out quickly. "Thanks. Mine got wet the other day and is still a little twitchy." 

"Did you try restarting it? If not, take the battery out and place it in a container of rice, that'll soak the water right out." 

"I'll try that."

* * *

"We have really crazy friends." Felicity comments. They had finished their pizzas and debates—barely—and are now walking down the street, in no specific direction. Slade is carrying Shado on his back while Tommy circles him, throwing jabs to test Slade's reflexes. Sara walks along them, talking adamantly to Shado and punching Tommy whenever he gets too close or disrupts their conversation. Oliver and Felicity hang back, walking slower than the rest of the group. 

"That they are." He nods. 

She then leans into him, whispering, "Do you think we should keep them?" 

He scratches his jaw in mock thoughtfulness. "I don't know...seems too late to return them. I'm pretty sure their warranty is expired by now." 

"Darn." She swings her hand and snaps dramatically. "Oh well, I guess we're stuck with them." 

They chuckle quietly to themselves. 

"I'm glad we did this," Felicity says, digging her hands into her pockets, "it's a nice way to end the semester. I'm going to miss this when I go back to Vegas for the summer." 

"Aren't you happy to be going back home?" 

"Yeah I will be. Temporarily. It's gonna be _hot_." She picks up her hair and fans herself in demonstration. 

Oliver smiles at her theatrics. "Well you should spend a summer over in Starling with me and Tommy. I can't promise it'll be any cooler but I can promise 24/7 access to our pool." 

"I just might have to take you up on that offer." 

They exchange smiles. 

"Guys look!" Shado jumps up and down on Slade's back excitedly, pointing off into the distance. "The sun is rising! Oh it's beautiful, c'mon guys we _have_ to see it!" 

Shado's enthusiasm is infectious and the whole group agrees, hollering down the street in the direction she pointed at. 

When they arrive at the clearing, they all slump down in the grass. 

Shado leans against Slade. Sara and Tommy on either side of them. And Oliver and Felicity sit right behind them. 

They collectively gaze at the sky in wonder, seeing the array of colors making their ascension, peeking out from over the horizon. 

"Too bad we didn't come here earlier," Felicity cranes her neck up and Oliver looks down at her as she whispers, "you could have pointed out some more constellations." 

Oliver wraps an arm around her shoulder and lowers his head to whisper, "Unfortunately I'm all out, I showed you all the ones I know already." 

Felicity looks up at him, humor in her eyes. "So you're not a real astronomer? Oliver Queen you have deceived me, I am hurt and appalled." 

He rolls his eyes. "Ok Smoak. Pretty sure you missed your true calling." 

She tilts her head at him in question, his favorite of her little ticks. 

"Why are you bothering with computer science when clearly you were meant to be on stage? You're so dramatic." 

She rolls her eyes. "Oh please you're the drama...Queen!" 

He looks at her, his eyes judging her for the lame pun. 

She sticks her tongue out at him and turns her attention back up to the sky. 

It doesn't take long, as the sun rises up from the horizon indicating the beginning of the day, for the group to drift off to sleep. Slade's head lulls forward, resting on top of Shado's. Her back is neatly tucked into his chest. Sara lays sprawled out across the grass, her head resting on Shado's lap. Tommy is snuggled up against a tree, his arms wrapped around his knees. And Felicity's head rests in the crook of Oliver's neck, his arm wrapped tight around her shoulders. 

When they finally all wake up later that day, Oliver can feel his arm ache from being around Felicity while they slept. But as the rest of the group stretch and groan, complaining about their sore muscles, he doesn't say anything. And for some strange reason the ache in his arm where Felicity spend the night tucked into doesn't bother him.

* * *

Thea taps her fingers against the bar counter. All around her is the noise of hammers hitting wood, concrete breaking and screws drilling into metal. But that is barely registering in her ears in comparison to the mess of thoughts that have currently taken residence in her head. 

_Roy's back._

It doesn't sound real, even in her own mind. She should be proud of herself, for dealing with him in the way that she did. And she is. But she can help this nagging feeling that she has, the same one she had when she woke up that fateful morning to find his half of the bed empty. There's knots twisting in her stomach and she can hardly sign her own name properly. 

She throws her head back and swivels in the bar stool. Her phone buzzes and she looks down at it to see it's a text from her interior designer telling her that he's bringing new color samples with him tomorrow. Suddenly she gets an idea. 

Hopping off the stool, she scrolls through her contacts and walks to the quietest part of Verdant she can find. Once she's situated in the small corner she scrolls through her contacts hits the call button when she find the name she wants. 

The signature three rings go off before she answers. "Hello?" 

"Hi Jean, it's Thea Queen." 

"Oh hello Thea," her voice is pleasant, "what can I do for you?" 

"Are you still in contact with those investigator buddies of yours? I need you to find somebody for me." 

Jean's voice gets serious immediately. "What is this about? Did someone get injured in your club? Is there a lawsuit being filed?" 

Thea shakes her head quickly and moves closer into the corner. "No, no, it's nothing like that. There's just an old... _acquaintance_ that has come into town recently and I want to know where he's staying...I want to surprise him..." Thea presses her mouth into a tight line and crosses her fingers, hoping Jean will accept that and not pry any further. 

There's a beat on the other line before Jean responds slowly. "Ok...what can you tell me about this acquaintance of yours? The investigator needs something to go off of." 

"His name is Roy Harper, he used to live in Starling a few years ago. He worked at this body shop in the Glades called..." Thea rubs her forehead with her fingers as she tries to recall snippets of a life she only got a glimpse of, "Arsenal Mechanics, I think. He's in his early twenties, athletic build, green eyes, brown hair. He kinda looks like an Abercrombie model..." 

She hears Jean's "mmhmm" on the other line and imagines the woman writing it all down. 

"Ok Thea. I'll let you know what I find, no promises though." 

"Of course, just curious to see if anything comes up. Thanks Jean." 

She's about to hang up when she hears, "Oh and Thea?" 

"Yes?" 

"Be careful."

* * *

Oliver lounges on his couch. After a long day at The Gambit and catching up with Sara, he is enjoying some down time. He even picked up a book he hadn't finished reading. He leafs through the pages, trying to remember where he left off. He doesn't believe in bookmarks or dog-earing pages, something that's become more and more difficult to live by as it becomes harder to find time to read. Eventually he comes across a passage that looks familiar. After running his eyes through the words he remembers where he left off. He's a page in a half in when there is a knock on his door. As he gets up from the couch, the knocking grows stronger. 

_Thea._

Oliver yanks the door open, ready to reprimand his sister but at the sight before him the words freeze in his throat. 

Felicity stands in the hallway, furious. 

"Felicity?" His face scrunches in confusion, he doesn't understand what she's doing at his door. 

She holds up her hand. "Care to explain what the hell _this_ is?" 

He looks at what she's holding. _Oh crap..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how Oliver said a little something about explosions ... :)  
> Just wanted to give a little shot out to the people who have been asking for and about Nyssa. Honestly when I outlined the story she wasn't factored in at all. But after seeing all the comments asking about her and wanting to see her I've decided to work her into the story somehow. So keep it up guys, I really listen to your comments and passion so if you want something or like something go ahead and let me know. If it's doable and doesn't screw up the timeline I'll definitely consider it - that being said unfortunately for some of you (or most) Ray isn't going to magically disappear anytime soon so as much as you ask I can't let it happen just yet ;)  
> But fear not - I have a plan.  
> Tease of the week: "Well, did you? Did you feel something then? Do you feel something now?"
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	10. For Better Or For Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beauties!  
> I am just floored by the response the last chapter generated, looks like everyone came out of the woodworks.  
> Your comments and kudos and bookmarks always leave me so unbelievably humbled and grateful, so thank you for that :)  
> Think of this chapter as part one of the 'explosion', you'll see why ;)  
> As always this wouldn't be possible without my wonderful beta ExcellentlyEllen  
> Enjoy!

"Care to explain what the hell _this_ is?" Felicity holds up her phone, all the texts messages Oliver sent her displayed on the screen. She sees his eyes widen and the color drain from his cheeks. She turns the phone towards her and starts reading off the screen. "Felicity your plan is stupid, this idea is stupid, you're being stupid." The next text, "Felicity the last time we took 'some time apart' we end up soaked in your apartment dry humping." The next one, "I tried avoiding you before. It didn't work out. It sucked." 

"Felicity I—" 

She continues, as if he didn't speak, her finger furiously scrolling through the messages. "So you want to do this like a custody battle? Fine. Then I get Big Belly Burger." She jumps to the next one, "Felicity I miss you, don't do this to me, don't shut me out." She reads the next text, "Felicity do you ever think of me when you're with him?" Next, "Felicity—" She lowers her phone, exasperated. "Do I have to continue?" 

Oliver keeps quiet. It enrages her. 

"What the hell was all that? Why did you even send me half this shit? I thought we agreed—" 

"No _you_ agreed." Oliver cuts her off, standing straighter. 

"Yes. Because it's _my_ life and I have to face the consequences." 

She sees him roll his eyes and turn around, walking further into the loft. "Right. As if I don't get affected at all." 

She's so mad at him for walking away from her that she storms after him, throwing the door closed behind her. "It certainly doesn't seem like it Oliver!" He stops by the coffee table and she is right there behind him. "I have families and friends and a fiancé to think about. They are all affected by the choices I make." 

Oliver scoffs and picks up his mug, walking towards the kitchen. She follows on his heels. "Funny, you didn't seem to be worrying about all the people that would be affected when you called me and we slept together. Or that day in your apartment after I helped you run errands. You _certainly_ weren't thinking about your fiancé then." 

Her mouth drops open, she can't believe him. He turns on his heel to face her and he almost looks...smug? It makes her blood boil. 

"Yes, that night I call you over I had a...moment of weakness. And the other day in my apartment that was a mistake that I should not have let get so far out of hand. But I am doing everything I can to be better and to be a good fiancé and this," she holds her phone up to him, "is just childish Oliver." _There, that's all I wanted to say._

Felicity steps back and is halfway to the door when Oliver's voice reaches her. "Is that really why you came here?" 

She stops mid-step, turning around slowly. "Yes." 

"Really?" He walks out of the kitchen, making his way to her slowly. 

"Yes..." Felicity knows she should leave, every nerve in her body is screaming at her to do so. But Oliver is inching his way over to her, like a predator stalking a prey. And for some reason that keeps her stuck there. 

"You sure you weren't hoping to make another mistake?" He's right in front of her now. She steps back. "Or have another...moment of weakness?" 

He's breathing down at her and Felicity is up against the door, not able to go back any further. Gulping, she looks up at him and can see the lines on his face and slight bags under his eyes. He looks tired and strung out, as if he's been working himself out too much and hasn't been sleeping well. She knows if she wasn't so mad and he wasn't so close she'd reach out, try to figure out what was going on with him. 

Oliver starts to duck his head, his lips making a beeline for her own. Felicity fights against the fluttering of her eyelids and before he can completely close the distance between them she stops him with a hand to his shoulder. "Oliver, why are you doing this?" Her voice is quiet but sure, it seems to make him stop. His eyes flicker to hers. "Why are you doing this now? Why is your instinct to kiss me?" 

He moves his face back, dropping his hands from either side of her head so he's no longer caging her in. "What...what do you mean?" 

"Oliver you've been my best friend for 6 years, don't you think I know you well enough by now to see that something is different?" 

He takes another step back, remaining silent. It makes Felicity think that maybe she's on the right track now. 

"Has something changed...regarding your feelings? Is there something more that I should know about?" 

He turns halfway, giving her his profile. "Why would you ask that?" 

"Because I've seen you have countless one night stands without any weirdness afterwards. I mean you pretty much cornered the market when it came to no strings attached." 

"So?" His voice is hard, closed off. It causes her to take a tentative step toward him. 

"So this time it seems _different._ You asked me at Jitters if I felt something during our night together. Well, did you? Did you feel something then? Do you feel something now?" Felicity waits for his answer with batted breath. He angles his face to look at her and she sees him map out her face with his eyes. He opens his mouth but stops and her hand comes up to rest on his arm in reassurance. Suddenly his face turns to stone and she stops her hand. It hovers over his shoulder. 

"Oliver...?" 

"No." His voice is rough, crushing all the hope she let bubble up in her chest. "Nothing's different. The way I feel about you is the same as it's always been, just as friends." 

She drops her hand. "Oh. I see." 

He turns forward, angling his body away from hers. 

"I didn't send those texts. My phone got wet and must have gone crazy." 

She ducks her head before looking back up at him and offering a sad smile. "Ok. Well it's good we got that all cleared up..." The strangest feeling of rejection hits her and Felicity tries to fight the sense of déjà vu that accompanies it. _It's like thanksgiving of 2012 all over again..._

She makes her way back to his door and he speaks again. 

"You know the whole giving each other space thing is not going to work if you're gonna keep showing up at my door." 

Felicity presses her lips together firmly before turning back around to him. He still has his back to her. "Well you won't have to worry about that for too long. I'll be gone before you know it." 

This peeks his interest. "What do you mean?" He turns his head to the side but still isn't directly looking at her. 

"Wayne Enterprises is interested in Ray's watch. They're going to make him an offer when he's done with it and when they do we'll be off to go live in Gotham." 

Oliver takes a moment before turning to face her fully and she can see a crack in his mask of cold indifference. 

"You're moving to Gotham?" 

"Yep. Probably right after the wedding." 

He bows his head slightly and Felicity knows she can't stay here a single moment longer. "I'm gonna go." She reaches for the doorknob and knows what a bad idea it will be to spare him a single glance. 

So she doesn't, closing the door behind without a second look back. 

* * *

"Oh god, mom no." Oliver groans, throwing an arm over his face. 

It was the summer before their last and final year of college and Felicity had finally taken him up on his offer to spend a summer in Starling with him. Originally she was supposed to spend the summer with him _and_ Tommy but things had been rocky between him and Laurel recently, with big talks of the future, so they haven't been able to see him often. She was also spending the summer interning at his father's company in the IT department. 

Currently, Felicity and Oliver are on the couch while his mother thoroughly embarrasses him by telling Felicity stories of his youth. 

"So then he starts running around the backyard, arms flailing, saying, 'She's dead! She's dead!' Obviously I'm concern.rd So I come outside and ask him what's the matter. And he comes up to me, tears streaming down his face, and tells me he thinks he killed his imaginary friend because he fell off the swing and landed on her." 

Felicity bursts out in giggles at the conclusion of Moira's story. 

"Again, I have to plead to being four years old!" 

"Oh honey it was adorable." Moira assures him, placing a hand on his knee. 

"Mhm, _adorable_." Felicity has that teasing smile in place and her eyes are twinkling with delight. 

He scrunches his nose down at her, she does the same to him. 

Moira eyes them for a moment before patting Oliver's knee and standing up. "I'm going to go check on dinner, see if Raisa needs any help in the kitchen." 

Oliver's forehead creases as he sees his mother's figure retreating to the kitchen. Raisa was not one to share the kitchen space while she was cooking and his mother had never been particularly gifted when it came to food... 

"I think I left my case for my glasses in your room," Felicity's words pull him from his train of thought as he looks down at her, "if we're going in the pool after dinner I should grab them now." 

"I'll come with you." 

They get up from the couch and go into the grand room. As they make their way up the stairs Felicity pauses every so often to admire one of the many pictures of Oliver that hang on the wall. They're of him throughout various points in his life during a multitude of different celebrations and family portraits. 

When they reach his room Felicity hops on his bed, her legs dangling off the edge. 

Oliver shakes his head. "Are you ever not gonna do that?" 

"Nope." Felicity swings her legs back and forth. "And forgive me, Mr. Queen, for not being blessed with all the amenities that you've experienced your entire life. Like this freaking bed! Honestly it's like a cloud, I can feel it contouring around the shape of my body right now as we speak. How crazy is that?" 

Oliver shrugs, taking a seat next to her. "Eh, it's not that great." 

She rolls her eyes and gives him a playful shove. "Oh whatever Mr. Spoiled." 

"I'm serious," he laughs, "I think I had a better night's sleep when we all feel asleep watching the sunrise." 

Felicity smiles wistfully at the memory. "That was a nice night. But that was not a good night's sleep, everyone woke up sore because we all passed out in awkward positions." 

"Not me, I was good." 

"Oliver, I put the entire right side of your body to sleep. I had my whole weight against it. Not to mention you had your arm around my shoulder. That could not have been comfortable." 

He shrugs. "I didn't mind." And then he notices he's leaning toward her, his shadow engulfing her small frame. She looks up at him, eyes wide, and licks her lips. His eyes follow the movement and he mimics the action. 

Her eyes, usually a bright hue of blue, now shades darker, pull him closer. Her mouth opens slightly. 

"There they are!" 

Oliver blinks, his facing morphing into one of confusion. "What?" 

She gulps and points around him. "The case for my glasses. They're right there where I left them." 

Oliver feels around blindly behind him until his fingers make contact with the smooth case and brings it around, handing it to Felicity. 

"Thanks," she whispers, taking her glasses off and folding them neatly into the case. 

Oliver eyes her as she focuses intently on the task at hand. He has no idea why he leaned into her like that. Or why she reacted the way she did. Or what would have happened if she hadn't. But before he can think about it more, Raisa calls them down for dinner. 

They go down and don't speak about what almost might have happened between them. And when Tommy surprises them after dinner, they all go swimming in Oliver's backyard. All thoughts of the interaction in Oliver's room long forgotten. 

* * *

Oliver walks out of his flat, closing the door behind him angrily. 

"Unbelievable." He mutters to himself quietly as he locks the door. He knows he probably looks like a crazy person. He didn't sleep well last night, the conversation with Felicity playing over and over in his head. It kept him up. Not only what she said, although her impending move to Gotham was definitely something to contemplate. But, as she had pointed out, his behavior had been strange to say the least. Why he had cornered her against the door again or tried to kiss her, Oliver isn't sure. It's like he isn't fully in his own head when he's around her, acting more on impulse than on thought. 

But it wasn't always like that, she had said so herself. In fact, it have never been like that. 

_How long have you been in love with Felicity?_ Diggle's question echoes in his head but he shakes it off. There had to be a logical explanation to all of this, and that was not it. 

Oliver moves away from his door and, seeing the elevator is broken again, makes his way to the stairs. He's one floor down when he see a large laundry basket making its way up the stairs, albeit slowly. He squats lightly and can see the long legs of the person carrying the basket of clothes. 

"Ow." 

Iris. 

"Need help?" Oliver asks casually. 

The basket stops and Iris's head peeks up over the top. "Oliver. Um hi, how long have you been standing there?" 

"Not long." He assures her, smiling easily as she rests the basket against a step. "But the offer still stands." 

She smiles at him and shakes her head. "Thanks but I got it." 

"You sure?" 

"And they say chivalry is dead." Oliver almost blushes. "I appreciate the offer but I'll be fine. Sometimes a girl's gotta save herself right?" And with that she takes the heavy looking basket into her arms and climbs the remaining steps. 

He and Iris have been neighbors for as long as he's lived in his loft and they had always been friendly. He knows she works at Jitters but wants to be a journalist. He knows her mom passed away when she was very young. And he knows that her dad lives right next to Felicity. And just like that, his mind is back on the bespectacled blonde. Huh. He might have a super power for managing to always bring things around back to her. 

He shakes his head, not having time for that particular train of thought right now. He glances down at his watch. _I'm going to be late._ And with that he walks the rest of the way down the steps.

* * *

"You got some explaining to do Smoak." 

Felicity was laying down on the couch flipping through a bridal magazine when suddenly Sara came by and yanked the ear buds right out of her ears. 

Felicity rubs them and gives her the stink eye. "Sara, what the hell's with all the dramatics?" 

"Dramatics!" Sara spins around and throws her hands in the air. " _I'm_ not the one living in some cliché soap opera." 

"What are you talking about?" Felicity sits up on the couch, putting the magazine to a side. 

Sara narrows her eyes at her. "Oliver." 

Felicity fights back a gulp. "What about him?" She tries for casual but can see Sara analyzing her every movement. Even before joining the army Sara was a master at observation. And she could _always_ when tell when someone was lying. Especially Felicity. 

"Did you guys kiss or something?" Felicity looks up at her guiltily and Sara's eyes widen tenfold. "Holy shit! You guys slept together didn't you?" 

Felicity shoots up from the couch. "Jeez Sara want to say that a little louder? I don't think the pope heard you." 

"Felicity Megan Smoak! You and Oliver—" she gasps then and slaps Felicity on the arm. 

"Hey!" 

"—while you were engaged to Ray!" 

Felicity rubs her arm and fixes her shirt. 

"What? You don't have anything to say?" 

"I don't know what there _is_ to say. You pretty much said it all already." 

"I most definitely did not. How the hell did this even happen?" 

Felicity turns around, waking past the couch. "You really want to know?" 

"Do I really want to know? Of course I want to know, I want the whole story. Now." 

She sighs and crashes back down onto the couch. "Fine. But you can't interrupt me." 

Sara holds her hand up, palm out. "Scout's honor." 

"Ok." Felicity readies herself, looking at her own hands. "About a month ago Ray called off the wedding—" 

Sara's intake of breath is followed by a 'what do you mean?' but she shuts her mouth when Felicity's eyes snap up to her. 

"So he called off the wedding, which he explained later, but at the time I just thought we were breaking up. And I was upset and hurt and confused and I needed someone to talk to. So I called Oliver..." Felicity knows she doesn't have to continue. She can see the pieces coming together in Sara's mind, see the realization dawn on her. Out of nervousness she keeps talking. "I was all cry-y and he was trying to comfort me and...It just sort of just happen and then we didn't really talk about it after. A couple days later Ray showed up and explained everything to me, all the things that he was dealing with that led him to call off the wedding. I understood and I forgave him." 

Felicity leans back and takes a deep breath. She wishes that was the end of the story. "But then Oliver showed up and...things got >em>complicated." 

"More complicated?" 

Her eyes snap back up to Sara and the blonde holds her hands up. "Sorry. Continue." 

"Yes. More complicated. It was awkward between us, obviously, but it wouldn't go away. I thought that after we talked, things would go back to normal. And they did...for a second. And then things got...weird again..." 

"Did you guys sleep together more than once?" Sara has given up on being quiet. Felicity can't exactly be mad, Sara keeping her mouth shut for this long is already a feat in and of itself. 

"No...but we almost came close." 

"Jesus." Her friend paces the floor, scratching her head and Felicity looks down at her hands on her lap. 

"Could you sit down or something? You're making me nervous." 

Sara slumps down next to Felicity on the couch but she can't stay still with her foot tapping on the floor and fingers drumming against her thighs. 

Felicity knows Sara is processing everything, trying to come to terms with this new information. She gives her time. 

"I just can't believe it." 

Felicity sinks further into the couch. "You and me both." 

Sara turns to her. "Does Ray know?" Before Felicity can get a word out Sara shakes her head. "Of course he doesn't know. You haven't told him...why haven't you told him?" 

She covers her face with her hands, speaking beneath her palms. "I don't know. It's not from lack of trying, it's just...the circumstances are..." 

"Complicated. Got it." 

Felicity peeks at Sara through her fingers. "Am I an awful person?" 

There's a beat. Then, "I don't think there's a force on this earth that can make you a bad person. But this is certainly a messed up situation. Have you and Oliver talked about it further?" 

"Ugh!" Felicity throws a pillow across the room and Sara raises an eyebrow at the motion. "I don't want to talk about him now...or ever. He's being...weird? Difficult? I don't know." 

"Hmm." Sara finally allows herself to relax against the sofa, if only momentarily, and seeing that helps calm some of Felicity's nerves. 

A thought enters her mind. "How did you know?" 

Sara looks at her, being broken out of whatever train of thought she had. "Huh?" 

Felicity sits up straight. "About Oliver and me, that something was going on between us, how did you know?" 

"Oh, _that_ ," she waves her hand dismissively, "I've known you both for years, give me some credit. I went to go see Oliver the other day and his face would twitch every time I mentioned you. And I know you haven't been sleeping with Ray for weeks now." 

Felicity's face goes red. "How did you—you know what? Never mind. I don't want to know." 

Sara laughs and throws an arm around her, holding her close. "Yeah, you know better than to question my ninja detective skills." 

Felicity feels the ends of her lips tug up into a smile, she really missed Sara. 

"The question now is: what are you going to do, in regards to Oliver?" 

The question sobers her up and Felicity moves hair out of her face. "I have no idea."

* * *

It's late in the evening at Ferris Air. Oliver taps his fingers against the steering wheel. He used the car Tommy rented to pick him up from the airport. Oliver hasn't seen his friend in a couple of years and is happy he's going to be able to spend time with him. 

He can see the Merlyn Global private jet make its descent to the air strip and Oliver gets out of the car. The plane lands on the otherwise deserted strip and two people step out of it before he sees his best friend. 

Tommy is talking avidly with an older gentleman as he walks down the steps but the second his foot touches the ground below he holds his hand up to the man. "No more business talk Alfred, I am officially on vacation." 

Alfred relinquishes and bows his head, "Of course sir." 

"You know Merlyn, with all that power going to your head I'm surprised the crew fit on that plane with you." 

"It's a jet actually." Tommy replies before his face breaks out in a dazzling grin. When he reaches the car he drops his bag to the floor and hugs Oliver. 

They clasp each other on the back. 

"How's China?" 

"Eh, Chinese." 

Oliver laughs and shakes his head at his friend. "And they let you run business over there?" 

Tommy grins in response. "Only barely." He holds out his hand for the keys and Oliver hesitates before giving them. 

"Are you sure you don't want to ride in that back? I could be your chauffeur." 

Tommy rolls his eyes. "Oh shut it Queen." 

Oliver smirks before tossing him the keys and rounding the car to the passenger's side. "You _do_ remember how to drive right?" 

Tommy opens the driver's door and slides in, starting the car. "For our sakes you better pray I do." 

The two laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy to be bringing in Tommy to the mix, hope you guys are too  
> Loved that people were voicing their excitement over Thea/Roy and even a couple over Laurel/Ted - I'm excited to be flushing out these relationships in the upcoming chapters  
> That story about the imagery friend that Moira tells is actually true, when I was a little kid I was certain I had killed my imaginary friend's grandma because I accidentally tripped and landed on her  
> Also as I've mentioned, I do take your comments and requests into consideration. However whenever I update I am typically two to three chapters ahead so you may not see what you asked for immediately because the next chapter is already done but rest assure you'll probably see it eventually :)
> 
> Tease of the week: "Then why bring me here?" "It's where I took you on our first date."
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	11. Hand Fasting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears!  
> All your comments warm up my heart so much, honestly I can't tell you guys what it means that you take the time to let me know how you're all enjoying the story  
> And the fact that you're all enjoying it bc it has been quite angsty - I'll admit, but change is coming soon ;)  
> As always this wouldn't be possible without my wonderful beta ExcellentlyEllen  
> Enjoy!

Thea looks down at her phone again to verify. She looks back up at the door. 115, it reads. It's the right place. Before this Thea had been sitting in her car for an hour and a half trying to build up the nerve to get out. Knowing that if she allows herself to wait any longer she'll chicken out and eventually make herself go crazy with indecision, she puts her phone in her pocket and knocks on the door twice. She pulls her coat around her tighter and looks out at the recovering neighborhood that is the Glades. 

Thea knocks on the door again. And again. Growing impatient, she raises her fist and is about to knock a third time when the sound of a chain moving is heard and the door opens. Her hand drops as her eyes meet his. 

Roy looks surprised but recovers quickly, leaning against the doorjamb. "Hey. I didn't expect to see you here." His eyes dart around to see if she's with anyone else. "What's up?" 

Her eyebrows shoot up. "What's up, really?" She huffs out a breath and shakes her head. "This was a mistake." She makes a move to leave but his hand shoots out to grab her wrist, stopping her. Looking up at him, she can see his face soften. 

"Don't go. I'm sorry. You just...surprised me that's all." 

She looks at him and can see the plea in his eyes. 

"Maybe we can go somewhere? To talk?" 

She peeks over his shoulder into his apartment before looking back and his face, nodding. "Yeah, that sounds good." 

"Good." Roy steps out, closing and locking the door behind him. "I think I know just the place." 

"Ok, I'll follow you in my car." Thea knows she won't be able to stay in the confinements of a car with him. Better to play it safe. 

"No need." He assures her, taking a step behind her and heading for the stairs. "It's just a short walk." 

"Alright."

* * *

"Honestly man, it's nice to be back." Tommy takes a beer from the fridge and closes it. Oliver had to stock it up in anticipation of Tommy's arrival. 

He puts his arm on the back of the couch and smiles at his friend. "Well it's really good to have you back. Even for just the short while." 

"Believe me, if I could I would stay longer. But business is...business is tough. You got lucky, you're your own boss. Take any day off you want, never have to report to anyone on a higher branch. Pretty nice." 

Oliver makes a farting noise with his mouth in disbelief. "Ok but it's not as nice as a top story office building overlooking China I bet." 

"Overlooking? You can't see anything! The air there is awful." 

Oliver shakes his head as Tommy sips his beer and looks at the basketball game playing on the TV in front of them. 

"A lot has changed since I was last here. Like since when did we start sucking?" He points his finger accusingly at the TV screen while the rest of his hand is still wrapped around his beer. 

"Oh it's been like that for a while now. We just can't seem to get it together." 

"I thought we won the championships?" 

"Yeah, two years ago. And we haven't even come close since. It's been torture, believe me." 

Tommy shakes his head. "Unbelievable." He downs the rest of his beer and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Speaking of unbelievable," he gets up, "Felicity getting married. That's crazy right?" 

Oliver purses his lips and tries to think of an appropriate response as Tommy goes to toss his bottle in the recycling bin. "Yup. It's definitely crazy alright." 

"I mean, who would have thought? Out of everybody in the old college group I would not have pegged her as the first to get hitched." Oliver just nods, trying to keep his face neutral as Tommy makes his way back to the couch. "And to someone she met fresh out of college. I mean that is just _insane_." 

"That it is." Oliver keeps his eyes trained on the game. 

"And what's his name again? Ron?" 

"Ray." He tries to school his features and not bite out the name. 

"Ray. Right. Yeah, when I got the save the date I was like 'Felicity and _who_?' I totally blanked on the name. I never met him right?" 

"No you were already in China by the time she brought him around to introduce him to all of us." 

"Ok that's what I though. Because I'm usually really good with names and faces." 

"Yes you are, even when you're hammered which I always found to be particularly impressive." 

Tommy grins, clearly remembering the troublemaking days of their youth. "Oh good times. I was hammered when I met Felicity." He recalls. 

Oliver laughs. "You were. Although according to you at the time you were only 'kinda tipsy'." 

Tommy snorts. "Oh no, I was trashed. Beyond belief." 

They both laugh at that. 

"But you know what's even crazier than Felicity getting married? All those years we were in college if I could ever imagine Felicity getting married, it could only be to one person in particular." 

Oliver turns to look at Tommy, his brows drawing down. "Who?" 

"You." Tommy laughs and Oliver gulps. "I mean I never saw her get more mad at anyone than she got at you. Felicity was always fiery, but the two of you? You were explosive together. Sara and I had to develop a telepathic form of communication to let each other know when to evacuate the room when you guys started going at it." He laughs. 

Oliver turns his head, not sure what expression he has on his face but not wanting to tip off Tommy regardless. 

"But _that_ we could handle," Tommy continues, oblivious to Oliver's reaction, "it was when you guys got all couple-y, _that's_ when we couldn't take it." He mock shivers. 

This grabs Oliver's attention, causing him to turn back to Tommy. "Couple-y?" 

"Yeah man. Couple-y. When you guys would snuggle or fall asleep wrapped around each other. Just stuff that couples do. Whenever you guys would get all heart eyes around each other." 

"Heart eyes? We didn't get all heart eyes." 

Tommy shakes his head. "Whatever you say man. All I know is what I saw. And what I saw told me that the two of you would be tying the knot in a matter of years." He smiles then shrugs. "But whatever, maybe I was wrong. Wouldn't be the first time..." 

Oliver sees a dark cloud pass over Tommy's face and knows his mind is on Laurel. He opens his mouth to ask if Tommy needs to talk about it considering she's back in town as well. But then there's a knock on the door and Tommy jumps up to get it. 

"Ugh, mushroom and olive pizza from Mario's!" Tommy groans as he pays the delivery man. "Now this is something I dearly missed." He brings the box over to the coffee table and proceeds to take a slice. 

Oliver figures the Laurel talk can wait till later and gets a slice himself.

* * *

Felicity sits cross legged in her bed, typing away at her computer. She's having a lazy morning but needs to get some work done anyways. There's just this pesky little code that she needs to tweak but it refuses to cooperate. So she sits in her bed with her pajamas still on, her hair down, and a red pen in her mouth. She taps her glasses against her keyboard and scratches her head, looking at the screen. 

"Eureka!" 

Her head shoots up. "Ray?" 

"Honey I did it!" 

Her brows draw together in confusion. "Did what?" She calls out. 

She doesn't get a response, instead she can hear him running down the hallway before he stands in her doorway. 

"Babe, I did it!" His chest heaves in excitement. He's barefoot, wearing his stripped pajama pants and his shirt rolled up to his elbows. 

"Ray what are you talking about?" 

He walks to her bed, excitement rolling off him in waves. "The watch. My watch. I did it!" 

Realization sparks in her. She rolls to the edge of the bed to meet him. "You finished your watch?" 

He nods his head happily and she gets on her knees to throw her arms around his neck. "Ray you finished your watch!" 

"I know!" 

"Oh sweetie I'm so proud of you!" She holds his face between her hands and his grins, glowing in delight. 

He kisses her forehead and moves away. "I gotta call Wayne Enterprises right away." 

"Yes, go do that now." 

"Ok, I'll be right back. I'm so excited." 

"Me too." 

He smiles at her before hastily going back to the living room to grab his phone. 

Felicity stays on her knees at the edge of the bed. She's so happy for Ray. He's worked so long and so hard for this. Before she can think about it too much he comes back into the room. 

"How'd it go?" 

"There's a meeting going on right now, I had to leave a message." He waves it off as he approaches her. "But I wanted to show you this." He holds the watch in his hands and she peers down at it. 

"I know it doesn't look great but this is just the prototype. Once I get the backing I'll make sure to get all matching parts. But I want you to try it out, let me know what you think." 

She holds it tentatively in her hands, acutely aware that she has literally years of hard work in her palm. 

"Go ahead, try to access your email." 

Felicity presses the icons on the screen and is able to log into her email effortlessly. 

"Now, try to get into your work calendar." 

Again, the watch pulls off the task with ease. 

"Unlock the front door." 

A couple of touches later and she can hear the click of the front door. She looks up at her fiancé. "Ray this is amazing! I am so proud of you." 

He smiles broadly down at her. "I couldn't have done it without you."

* * *

"I haven't been here in years." Thea comments, looking around at Big Belly Burger. 

"Neither have I." Roy says as he settles in the booth and picks up the menu, although Thea suspects he already knows exactly what he's going to get. The same thing he always used to get. 

"Then why bring me here?" 

He shrugs, looking up from the menu. "Feeling nostalgic I guess." His eyes wander around the place briefly before coming back to rest on her. "It's where I took you for our first date." 

She crosses her arms. "Well I would hardly constitute _that_ as our first date. But really Harper, would this have been your idea of a romantic outing?" 

He shrugs again, smiling cheekily. "I don't know, seemed to work on you." 

Thea drops her arms and picks up a menu, wanting to simultaneously occupy herself and hide behind something. "Well I didn't come here to talk about that." 

"Right...what did you want to talk about that?" 

She gnaws on the inside of her cheek before putting her menu down and folding her hands over it. "Where did you go?" 

"The army." 

"Bullshit." 

Roy sighs and puts his menu down too. "I'm being serious here Thea." 

"And why should I believe a word you say?" 

"You're right, you have no reason to believe me. Just like I have no reason to lie. Especially about this." 

"So what? I'm just supposed to believe that you've spent the past 3 years in the army? Doing what exactly, saving lives?" 

"Mostly training, they didn't really deploy me anywhere." 

Thea slumps back into the booth. She searches Roy's eyes, eyes she once knew so well, for any dishonesty and comes up blank. 

"So what are you doing back now?" 

"Inheritance. Or lack thereof I should say. I was contacted to identify the body. Looks like my mom finally kicked in the can." He looks away. 

Thea feels a small pang for him. She knew Roy and his mother were never close. The woman was hardly ever around, in the two years that they dated she had only ever run into her twice. 

"I'm sorry Roy." 

He runs a hand down his face. "It happens." He tries to act casual. 

And if this were five years ago she would have bought it. If she didn't know him the way she knows her own name she might believe him. But she knows him, god knows she knows him, so she sees right through him. She reaches out and takes one of his hands in her own, giving it a small squeeze. 

"Still, I'm sorry." 

He looks up into her eyes and gives her a small sad smile. "Thanks." 

She nods once and lets go, moving her hand back. She's still mad at him though. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice comes out softer than before but she knows he knows she's not referring to his mom's death. 

"It was...complicated." 

That seems to be all she gonna get. Fine. She can go a different route. "Why the army?" 

"It was the only option." 

The blinks at him, brows drawing down. "How?" 

"Oh Thea, c'mon. I was working at the auto shop, I _barely_ made it out of Starling High. There was no future for me. I didn't have the same opportunities that you did." 

"Is this about the money thing again?" 

"No. No." He assures her, seeing that she's getting mad again. "It wasn't just that. Your parents...they cared about you. A lot. They wouldn't have let you rot away in some garage, they wanted better for you. Wanted to make sure you got more out of life. Even if you weren't motivated yourself, they would have pushed you. And yes you had the money and connections to help make it happen, but me? I didn't have any of that stuff. No matter how hard I pushed myself, the garage was the best I was ever going to amount to. No one was going to hire some kid that barley graduated high school because he spent more time in jail than in the classroom." 

"I know a place that would have hired you." She grumbles, looking away. 

She can see him smile faintly. "And where would that be?" He humors her. 

"The Gambit. My brother's gym." 

She sees Roy's face get serious, losing all traces of humor. "That wouldn't have worked for me." 

"Why? Getting paid to punch things, seems like you'd fit in perfectly." 

He shakes his head and looks down at his menu intently. Thea gets the feeling he's hiding something. "Roy...?" 

"I'm ready to order. Are you ready to order?" He looks back up but refuses to meet her gaze. Before she can question him, he flags down a waitress.

* * *

"Felicity you should really stop leaving your door unlocked like this." Oliver says into the dorm room, closing the door behind him and shrugging off his jacket. He knew her roommate, Tatsu, was off visiting her boyfriend and Sara's mom was in town, so Oliver had decided to stay in with Felicity and watch movies. But of course, upon reaching her dorm, he found her door unlocked, yet again. "Someone could very easily....Felicity?" 

His original statement was greeted with silence but now he can hear quiet sniffles. He's on alert. 

"Felicity!" 

He storms around the dorm and finds her curled up on the sofa. 

"Felicity." He rushes to her side, concerned. "Hey. What's wrong? I'm here. What happened?" 

At his insistence she uncurls herself. But he sees she's cradling her right hand to her chest. He pries it from her other fingers. She lets him. He holds her hand in his carefully and sees it's starting to swell, a mean purple ghosting its way over the angry red that color her knuckles. 

He looks from her hand up to her, questioning. 

She sighs and shifts on the couch into a sitting position. Oliver keeps her hand grasped gently between his. 

"I ran into Cooper today..." 

Oliver studies her face from his crouched position by the couch. "What happened?" 

"Nothing it was stupid. I..." She ducks her head and hides her face in her tissue. 

"Felicity." He tilts her chin up until her eyes lock with his. 

Her voice comes out in a rushed gasp of air. "He was just throwing it in my face. The job offers he has lined up after graduation and his studio apartment, his plans to propose to her and," she clenches her other hand into a fist in her lap and Oliver's eyes are drawn to it, "and he was just going on and on, gloating. As if _I_ was the one who messed up. As if I was the one who cheated and used him and manipulated him and...he would not shut up. He just knew he was getting to me. And he was enjoying it and I got so _angry_." 

Felicity looks back into Oliver's eyes. He carefully slides the tip of his fingers over her bruised knuckles, a silent encouragement to continue. 

"So I punched him." 

Oliver stares at her in shock for a moment and Felicity bites her lip, holding her breath. She waits for his disapproval. But then his face breaks out in a dazzling smile. 

"You punched him?" 

"Yeah..." 

His smile grows and she can't help but smile too. He looks back down at her hand, delicately placed in his, and quirks an eyebrow. "And you almost sprang your hand doing so." 

"Is that judgment I'm hearing?" 

Oliver looks back up at her, his eyes soft. "Pride." He assures her. 

Felicity gives him a small smile in return. 

Oliver looks back down at her hand, moving it around so he can see it at all angles. "But I wasn't kidding about almost springing your hand, this is gonna be a nasty bruise." 

She looks down at it while he inspects it. "I think my anger was dulling the pain, I didn't even realize how bad it was till I got home." 

Oliver stands up. "I'm going to get some ice for it." 

She nods and he disappears into the kitchen. "He bled." She calls out to him. 

His reply comes over the sound of running water. "Really?" 

"Yeah. It took a moment but after he moved his hand away I could see it trickling down. It was reaching his chin by the time he left." 

Oliver laughs and after closing the refrigerator door is back at Felicity's side. "I'm not surprised. Looking at your hand you must have hit him pretty hard." He sits next to her on the couch, a bowl of ice and a wet rag in his hand. 

Felicity frowns. "He just gets under my skin, always has. I don't ever remember being so mad. I think I saw red." 

Oliver chuckles and wraps the rag around the ice, placing it on Felicity's knuckles. She hisses and he looks up at her apologetically. 

"Oh but next time I see him..." 

"Felicity I don't want you to see him anymore." 

"Well you and me both buddy but it can't really be helped. I was able to avoid him this long because of he was studying abroad in China. Now he'll probably be lurking around every corner. And oh when I get my hands on him—" 

"Felicity." 

She turns to look at him. He seems exasperated. 

"Just please try to stay away from him. I don't want to think what could happen if..." 

"Oliver," She grabs his hand with her uninjured one, forcing him to look up, "I can take care of myself." 

"Clearly." He holds up her bruised fist as evidence and Felicity blushes. "I just don't want you hurting yourself again or even wasting your breath with that Sheldon kid. He's not worth your time." 

"Oliver you don't know him, you haven't even met him." 

"I don't have to. Felicity he had you and he screwed it up, that makes him the stupidest man on the planet. Whether or not I've met him, it doesn't matter, there's no coming back from that. If he can't see how amazing you are then he's not worth your time." Oliver reaches up and tucks her hair behind her ear, his fingers linger on her industrial bar. "You're remarkable Felicity." 

She adjusts her glasses, blushing. "Thank you for remarking on it."

* * *

"You have everything you need?" Felicity asks again as Ray brings his suitcase into the living room. 

He looks around him quickly before nodding. "Yup, think so." 

She wraps the scarf in her hands around his neck, pulling him down to be at eye level with her. "I don't like this." 

His eyes soften. "I know sweetheart." He rubs her arm soothingly. "I'm not a huge fan of having to leave this close to the wedding either but I gotta go and secure our future." 

She nods once, trying to ignore the weird knots in her stomach that arise at his words. "I'll miss you that's all." 

He pecks her lips briefly. "I'll miss you too. I promise I'll be back as fast as I can." 

She lets go of his scarf and hands him his plane ticket. He takes it from her and smiles sweetly before opening the door and going out with his luggage in hand. 

Felicity stands at her doorway while she watches as Ray packs his stuff and himself into the taxi cab waiting outside. He throws her a wave before he gets into the backseat. She waves back a at him and the taxi drives away, into the night. 

She shakes her head and moves to go inside before a small movement catches her eyes. She stops and glances at the apartment next to her. She can see a figure slightly obscured by the curtains in the window. 

"Mr. West?" 

The curtains move closed and Felicity shakes her head at the old man's antics. 

"Mr. West I saw you already." 

Joe West is her neighbor. Her _noisy_ neighbor. He rarely left the apartment in his old age so he had taken to entertain himself by watching the world from his window. Particularly Felicity's world since she lives right next to him. 

When Felicity had first moved in she didn't notice it, she only ever came in and out of her apartment to go to work and come back from work. But every now and then she would catch the slightest movement of the curtain. When Ray was coming and going from her apartment more frequently the movements of the curtain became more noticeable. Finally when Sara was visiting before she was deployed she brought it to Felicity's attention. 

"Is your neighbor spying on you?" She had ask inconspicuously as Felicity had been putting away groceries. 

"Huh?" 

"Your next door neighbor. Have you ever seen him? Or is it a her?" 

"It's a him, from what I understand. A retired police captain." 

"Well he looked at us from his window when we came in. Maybe you should go introduce yourself, make sure you don't have a peeping Tom on your hands." 

So that's what Felicity had done, she had introduce herself to Mr. West. Perhaps it was his years as a police captain or the fact that he spent years watching people instead of interacting with them, but Felicity instantly got the feeling that he didn't trust easily. But she didn't want to be on any of her neighbors' bad side so she had taken it upon herself to strike up a conversation with the man. And when she found out he had a dog she had offered to walk it whenever he needed her to. That had helped him warm up to Felicity although he still peeked at the comings and goings of her apartment from his window. 

"You can come out Joe." Felicity says, leaning against her door. She had learned early on that it was best to just call him out on this stuff. 

She hears all his locks clicking, he has a lot of locks, before his door creaks open. "Hello Miss Felicity." 

"Hi Joe." 

He keeps himself half hidden, only sticking his head out to greet her. "I see Mr. Palmer left." 

"Yes, he's going out of business for a few days." 

"Oh." Felicity knows what he leaves unsaid. _Oh I thought you guys were calling off the wedding_. 

His years as a recluse had also served to make Joe West susceptible to believe gossip and gave him the tendency to make up farcical stories and conspiracy stories. 

"Yes, he'll be back by the end of the week." 

"Ok, well Miss Felicity you should get some sleep. You don't want to look tired for your wedding now do you? It's what, a little more than a month away?" 

"That's right Joe." _This man has his finger on the pulse of everything._

"Alright goodnight Miss Felicity." 

"Goodnight Mr. West." 

She waits until he's completely inside and all his locks are back in place before she goes into her own apartment. 

Once inside Felicity sighs and slumps against the door. Joe's right, a month and a half away and she will be Felicity Palmer. It's a weird thought to have, especially now that Ray is off "securing their future". Her stomach knots at the words again. She waves it off. She wants to start a future with Ray, she does. It's just.... It's all happening so fast. If they were ever to move out of Starling City she assumed it would be years into the future, after they had been married for a while. 

"Ugh, I think I need some mint chocolate chip ice cream right now." She mutters. If she's going to have these thoughts she is not gonna sort them out alone, she is going to do so with her stress alleviating ice cream in hand. 

Felicity makes a beeline for the kitchen, ice cream in mind, when there's a knock at her door. She looks at the clock on the wall in confusion. It's late. She doesn't think Joe would venture far enough out of his apartment to go knocking on her door. 

There's a knock again and suddenly Felicity remembers Ray left his key on her bedside table. Probably isn't the only thing he left behind. 

_What else could he have forgotten?_ Felicity wonders as she yanks open the door. 

Her jaw hits the floor. Oliver stands there, hands in his pockets looking more unsure than she's ever seen him. 

"Please don't close the door. There's just something really important I have to tell you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise one of these days I'm going to stop ending chapters with someone showing up at a another's doorstep—unfortunately it's not today  
> And because it seems they're done toying with me (and by extension all of you) the next chapter will be extremely olicity heavy  
> So hope you all enjoyed Tommy's delightfulness, I know I did :)
> 
> I actually can't give you a tease of the week because anything I try will be too spoilery so I'll just give you the title and you'll just have to live with it: "To Cherish And To Hold"
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	12. To Cherish And To Hold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my honeys!  
> Explosion part 2 here.  
> I've been waiting to write this since I finished the first chapter. And when I finally got around to it I kept putting it off. I'm telling you guys, for weeks I avoided this.  
> In the end this ended being more than twice as long than my usual chapters.  
> I need to thank Ed Sheeran whose music got me through writing this. Seriously, I had to listen to specific songs of his for every separate part of this chapter  
> Also as a little side note this chapter signals the half way mark of this story, anyways I'm going to shut up now  
> Um, in the infamous words of SuperSillyandDorky06 'stuff happens'  
> See you all on the flip side...  
> A big thank you to the fantastic kebarrett who step in as beta and really saved me  
> Enjoy!

Oliver couldn't stand it much longer. After what Tommy had said and after the comments Lyla and Diggle had made, Oliver couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't have the entire world telling him how he felt. He needed to sort it out on his own. So that's what he had planned to do. After Tommy had checked into his hotel, Oliver had decided to drive around the city for a while and get lost in his thoughts. 

It should have come as no surprise when he ended up at her doorstep. Wasn't this always happening? Wasn't something or other always leading him here? Some force outside of his control always pushing him to her like magnets. 

His fist was on her door, before he could even understand what he was doing. And he could hear her soft footsteps, before he even knew what he was going to say. 

But then the door opens and he sees her, truly sees her like he's seeing her for the first time. And suddenly the truth is inescapable and Oliver isn't quite sure how he hasn't acknowledged it for this long. It's clear as day to him now as Felicity stands before him with her hair up in a bun, her glasses perched on her nose, and her panda flats on her feet. His mind quickly skims through all their interactions and moments together, since the very first night he met her and it's almost _too_ clear to him now that he's paying attention. 

The shock and confusion on her face dissipates as her stance changes. Her face hardens, eyebrows quirked. 

"Please don't close the door. There's just something really important I have to tell you." It's the only thing he can manage without the words on the tip of his tongue slipping out. He's held it in for this long, he never knew that holding it in for a few more minutes would be so challenging. It's humming just underneath his skin. Vibrating behind his eyelids. Tickling the back of his throat. It threatens to spill out with every breath he takes. 

She crosses her arms. "What do you want?" 

The almost hostile timbre of her voice takes him aback. But then he thinks back to their last encounter and really he shouldn't be surprised. She doesn't know about the thoughts that have been running through his head for the past few days. Unaware of the observations that others have continuously pointed out to him. Oblivious to the epiphany he's just had, 5 years in the making but an epiphany nonetheless. 

"Can I come inside...please?" Oliver pleads hesitantly, trying to show her how different his mind set is since the last time they spoke. He had been in denial up to his neck then; now he is overcome with acceptance. 

After casting a quick glance over his shoulder, into the darkness of the night, Felicity huffs and steps aside, granting him access into her apartment. 

_It's a start_ , he thinks as he ducks his way past her and into the warmth of her home. 

She closes the door behind him with her back still to him before turning around slowly. Her eyes alert him to the fact that she's still mad. "You know, the whole giving each other space thing doesn't really work if your gonna keep showing up at my door." And if her face and crossed arms aren't enough of an indication of her anger, the way she throws his earlier words back at him certainly is. 

He swallows loudly and hangs his head. This is not going to be as easy as he thought. "I'm sorry about that." He says it quietly, almost a whisper, but it sounds deafening in the silence that follows it. 

Oliver chances a glance up at her and she's giving him a hard look. Felicity seems to see something she wasn't expecting to see in his face because suddenly she turns her head away from him. "What are you doing here Oliver? What do you _want_?" 

She says it differently than she did at first, now she sounds almost defeated like she's ready to give up. And he doesn't know what she's going to give up on but just the thought that it might be him, that it might be _them_ , scares him into action. 

He walks over to sit on the couch and she tracks his movements with her eyes. He looks up at her once he's situated and pats the cushion next to him. 

She doesn't move, just leveling him with a hard gaze that's becoming more questioning by the second. 

"Please?" 

She stands still for a moment before sighing and coming over to join him on the couch. She sits on the opposite side, as far away from him as she can, putting all the distance possible between them. 

Oliver realizes that he hasn't prepared a speech and doesn't even have the faintest idea what he's going to say. He opens his mouth and nothing comes out. He shuts it. It's odd, he thinks, all those years in business school taught him to be quick on his feet, to be able to charm the pants off potential investors, to bullshit until he couldn't see straight. But suddenly here, in Felicity's small apartment sitting next to her on the couch—the same couch where they almost had sex again, a moment she had later referred to as a mistake—next to a girl he's known and trusted and who has known him better than anyone else in his life for the past 5 years, the words escape him. 

"Oliver...?" 

His eyes snap up to her, her face losing its angry lines and hard panes to be replaced with confusion wrinkling her brow and concern staining her eyes. Suddenly he knows exactly what to say. 

"You always knew how to make me talk," he begins and sees her surprise and confusion, she wasn't expecting him to say that, "even on that first night we met, when I had no idea who you were or you I, you knew how to get me to open up. You know that had always been a problem for me, and continues to be. My mom would complain about it and Thea...and girlfriends and teachers, coaches and counselors until I just accepted it. It was just one of things about me, like the color of my eyes, that just wasn't ever going to change." 

He pauses to sneak a peek at Felicity and she still looks lost. "And then I met you," her eyes widen fractionally, "and it just sort of happened, like it was out of my control, like I wanted to tell you. Tell you things I've never told anybody. And you just got it out of me...so...so easily, so effortlessly, like you weren't even trying. You didn't push or pull or pry, you just let it come out of me, somehow knowing it was going to happen eventually. I had never met anyone else who could do that," Oliver relaxes slightly into the couch, his head up and a lazy smile on his face, lost in the memory, "still haven't. You're truly are unique Felicity Smoak. I guess I should have seen it then..." 

The slight hitch in her breath grabs his attention and he looks down at her, sliding closer. "I should have seen it a lot over the past 5 years honestly, I can't tell you why I didn't." His hands move on their own accord and grasp hers. She remains perfectly still. 

"I mean, the signs were everywhere so obvious, I really should have seen it sooner. They were there right from the start too. From the very first moment we crashed into each other's lives, I knew you were going to be important. Not consciously, but I could feel it. Some part of me always knew it. I remember the first time I saw you, with my beer running down your dress and thinking, 'God, I've never seen anyone so mad before.' And then you laughed at one of Tommy's ridiculous antics and I swore to myself, then and there, that I would do whatever it took to hear that sound again. To continue to hear it for the rest of my life. I think I loved you even then..." 

Oliver hears Felicity's small gasp and turns to look at her, her eyes wide and lips parted. He didn't even notice his slip, but she certainly had. And then it's too much to bare, the words wanting to come out weigh down on his chest and beg for release. They've been denied for too long. 

He takes a deep breath, steeling himself. "I love you, Felicity." 

The words, finally out in the open make him feel lighter, like he'll float away right then and there if he doesn't have something anchoring him down. 

* * *

Felicity's brain stops. Like someone blew a circuit. 

_I love you._

The words, a language she doesn't understand, swim around in her head. 

_I love you._

Felicity can write long strings of code and understand complex algorithms in java script. 

_I love you._

But these three syllables leave her stunned, unable to comprehend. 

Deft fingers gently remove her glasses and place them on the coffee table. Oliver moves toward her again, his eyes closed, and slants his mouth over hers. He holds it there, his lips soft and the pressure barely registering. She still stands stunned, unresponsive, her brain unable to locate a power source to better process this new information. 

She feels Oliver start to pull away, the pressure of his lips becoming less and understands that he mistook her unresponsiveness as rejection. She surges forward, quick to correct his assumption. She grabs his head and pulls him toward her, opening up her mouth to him. 

_He loves me._

She understands now, having unlocked and decrypted his message. He moans and she swallows the sound. Her nails card through the short hairs on the nape of his neck. His hands hold onto her thighs as his tongue runs along her bottom lip. She shivers and he pulls her closer by her thighs. Her knees bracket his hips as she settles over him, and the familiar position has a surge of heat running through her. He runs his hands around her back and up to her neck, angling her face to the side in order to deepen the kiss. 

Felicity moans as his tongue runs over the roof of her mouth. Her hand falls to the couch cushion, momentarily loosing her balance, but Oliver wraps an arm around her waist, keeping her in place. He tugs on her hair, pieces falling lose from the bun, and she grinds down on him. Oliver nips at her bottom lip in retaliation and kneads her ass through the tight material of her skirt. Felicity pants into his mouth and adjusts the grip on his neck, pulling his lips impossibly closer to hers. 

Without warning Oliver stands, taking her up with him, and Felicity yelps. The sound is quickly swallowed as he starts to walk forward, following the light to her bedroom. She quickly wraps her legs around his waist, locking her ankles around his back, her flats falling to the floor with a clatter. She feels lightheaded, drunk off Oliver's lips. Every time he takes a step forward, his very prominent erection rubs up against her in the most delicious way. Felicity swears he can get her off just by doing that. She squirms in his arms at the thought and he breaks away from her mouth to growl before he attacks her lips again. 

Suddenly Felicity feels herself being lowered and her back presses against the sheets of her bed. She doesn't remember them going down the hallway or even entering her room but with Oliver doing that _thing_ with his mouth she's surprised she even remembered to breathe. 

Oliver hovers over her, keeping space between their bodies as he changes the angle of the kiss once again. Felicity wraps her hands around his back, following the line of his spine until she reaches the base. She tugs on the hem of his Henley and he relinquishes his hold on her lips to sit up a little more and lets her discard the offending garment. His mouth captures hers again the second she frees him of the shirt. She slips her hands down his back happily, feeling the play of his muscles beneath her finger tips without anything in the way. She starts to tug on the belt loops of his jeans but he swats her hands away. 

Before Felicity can look up at him in question, Oliver slips her sweater up and over her head. _Ah, quit pro quo_ , she thinks. 

"Jesus," Oliver murmurs as she's left in just her skirt and a bra. He quickly lowers his head and places wet hot kisses across her chest. He massages her breasts through the fabric of her bra while he sucks on the visible skin over her right one. Felicity arches up, desperate for his mouth. Oliver switches to the other breast, giving it the same treatment, all the while massaging both of them thoroughly. He eases down the cup and licks around her nipple, tracing around it with the tip of his tongue before flattening his tongue over it. Then, without warning, he sucks the tight nub into his mouth. 

Felicity gasps and groans, pushing up further to meet his mouth. He places his hands on her hips to keep her in place while he continues sucking on her nipple. Then he bites it. She bites her lip and thrusts up instinctually but Oliver's grip on her hips keeps her on the bed. She grips his shoulder as he tugs on the nipple with his teeth, sucking it in again before releasing it with a pop. He peepers kisses across her chest as he makes his way to her other breast. After pulling down the cup of her bra he gives her nipple one fast lick before blowing on it. Her nipple instantly hardens and Oliver licks it again, just barely, before blowing more air on it. 

Felicity brings her knees up, desperate to feel something, _anything_ , where she needs it the most. But Oliver's strong hold keeps her from squirming too much. He bites her nipple, _hard_. She yelps, riding the line between pain and pleasure. He expertly reaches behind her to flick the clasp of her bra and toss it somewhere behind him. Oliver grins and looks up at her. His eyes are dark, the blue almost completely black and she swallows thickly before capturing his lips in a kiss. She runs her hands down his sides while his mouth is preoccupied and tries again to tug his pants off. He breaks off their kiss, leaving her breathless as he moves down a fraction to kiss underneath her chin. He mumbles something into her skin. She can't quite make out the words. But when he moves over to kiss her jaw she can hear him murmur, 'I love you'. 

Oliver moves down further, tugging the skin on her collarbone before placing a kiss there and once again saying _I love you_. It becomes a mantra. He whispers it all down her body as he leaves little bites and kisses. In the juncture where her neck meets her shoulder, on the scar in the back of her shoulder, on the tops of her breasts. He doesn't let up, moving further down her body, pouring his confession of love in every crevasse, every dip and slope of her body. He says it over her belly button and as he slowly, agonizingly slowly, removes her skirt. Once it's gone he places a kiss on her hip bone, right above the line of her underwear. 

"I love you." He mumbles it into the skin there as well before hooking his finger into the elastic and dragging it down. Felicity shimmies her hips, hoping to help him get rid of it as soon as possible. But then he stops, staring right between her legs. And Felicity wants to cry out in frustration before he's blowing where she knows her panties are soaked through. She holds her breath as Oliver blows on her material clad center again and Felicity shivers. He lowers his face further, probing her through her underwear with the tip of his nose as he brings his hands down to her knees and spreads her. Felicity holds her breath and then Oliver wraps his mouth around the bundle of nerves and sucks, sucks her through her panties. Her head falls back against the pillows and she's sure something resembling a mewl leaves her mouth. While he sucks her into his mouth his tongue comes out and flicks at her folds. 

Felicity's hips thrust up on their own accord and Oliver's arms go under her legs and wrap around to the top of her thighs, holding her firmly in place. His mouth release her and he runs his teeth over the spot to graze the now completely damp material. Felicity shutters. He keeps his teeth going until they reach the edge of her underwear and proceeds to pull them down her legs. She aids him as best she can, bending her knees and pushing the material off her legs. Once it reaches her right ankle he leaves it hanging there. He places a kiss there and when Felicity feels his breath over the spot she knows he's whispering his love there too. He continues this down her entire leg. Her calf, the underside of her knee, all along her thigh, until he reaches her center. 

He pauses and Felicity opens her eyes to peer down at him. Oliver's eyes are transfixed on the now exposed juncture between her legs, her core dripping wet with arousal. He looks on hungrily and licks his lips. A broken noise must have left her mouth because suddenly his eyes snap up to hers. They're dark, darker than she's ever seen them. His dark orbs lock with hers and then he leans his head back down. But instead of where she's craving him, where she _needs_ him, he places his cheek on the inside of her thigh. She looks on, confused, before he shakes his head slowly, like he's nuzzling her thigh. And _god good_ just the feel of his stubble lightly scrapping over her sensitive skin is enough to send another surge of moisture straight to her already wet folds. He moves his head again hovering right above her center before going to the other thigh. He repeats his actions and Felicity shivers. There's no question now of how much she needs him, how her body is practically screaming for him. Her chest heaves and her flesh is pink from head to toe, need setting deep in her bones. 

She lifts her head off the pillow, to ask Oliver, to _beg_ him, to just touch her already. Suddenly he's right there, his tongue flattening over her bundle of nerves. Felicity's head falls back on the pillow, her eyes twisting up to the sky. Oliver licks her again, from the tip of her clit to the edge of her entrance, once, twice, before he puts his mouth on her fully. Felicity moans out as he sucks her outer lips into his mouth. He parts her folds with his tongue, experimentally poking and sliding up against her. Her hand falls to his head, caressing his hair to keep from pulling on it. His tongue moves around in maddening circles and for a moment Felicity idly wonders if he's writing out his love with his tongue. 

But then he nibbles on her and all thought leaves her completely as her hips attempt to surge up and off the bed. He holds onto her thighs tighter and she can feel him smile against her, clearly proud of the reactions he's getting from her. He continues to nibble on her folds, making his way down before reaching her opening. He runs the tip of his tongue around it, making Felicity sigh, before he thrusts his tongue inside her and she cries out. The hand gripping his head tightens, fisting in his hair, while her other hand falls to the bedspread beneath her. 

He plunges his tongue in and out of her and she shakes her head rapidly on her pillow, unsure of what to do with the sensations filling her body. Her bun falls out completely, her hair splaying out against the pillows. He eases his tongue out of her and she wants to cry out in protest. Then he runs his tongue over her entirely and his teeth scrape her clit. She pushes his face down and arches her hips up. 

Oliver continues to torture her with his tongue and teeth. Moving and nipping and licking, making tears form in the corners of her eyes at how good it feels. Better than anything she's ever felt. The pit of her stomach is warm, too warm, and she can feel the tingle signaling how close her impending orgasm is. 

Felicity opens her mouth to tell him but he's biting and kissing and completely _ravishing_ her so all that comes out is a broken cry as her orgasm washes over her. She feels it everywhere, from her hairline to the tips of her toes. She closes her eyes against the intensity of it. And Oliver doesn't let up, doubling his efforts to prologue the pleasure. She's floating, she's sure. She has to be. Felicity has left her body entirely. 

As she slowly returns to it and tries to slow her breathing she can feel Oliver still at it, albeit slower. He laps up her juices, his eyes dark and intense on the task at hand. She sighs and releases the grip on his head. Her hand hurts and she has to flex her fingers. 

Oliver's fingers skim up and down her leg lazily before he unhooks it from around her thigh and brings it to where his mouth is. 

Felicity props herself up on her elbows, question of the tip of her tongue. "Oliver what are you—" 

He slides his finger up her slit, collecting her leftover juices, and uses it to coat her opening before easing his finger back in. The question dies in her mouth and a low groan emitting from deep within her stomach replaces it. Her head hangs back as his finger slides in and out of her while his tongue circles her clit lazily. Soon he adds another finger, then another. Three fingers sinking in and pulling out of her evenly, slowly, while the tip of his tongue makes rounds, never committing to one spot long enough. Felicity feels a build up, much sooner than she thought she would when he starts moving his fingers faster. He pumps them in and out of her in quick session while his tongue licks up and down her slit in time to the thrusts of his fingers. He brings the thumb of his hand to press down on her sensitive mound and her hips shoot up, her back arching at the unexpected pressure. 

Felicity can feel her heart hammering in her chest as Oliver draws another orgasm from her. He puts pressure down on her clit while nibbling on her lips and curling his three fingers within her. The combination of sensations sends waves of pleasure crashing over her as she reaches her climax. It shoots through every nerve in her body and Oliver works her through it. Her thighs are shaking and she knows her chest is completely flushed. Sweat on her temple makes hair stick to her forehead. 

That's when she hears it, what he prays into her heat as he cleans her up: _I love you, I love you, I love you_. 

Except he's not cleaning her up, he's working her up, trying to get another orgasm going before this one finishes. 

She tries, unsuccessfully, to ward him off, "Oliver please— I can't..." 

"One more time, one more." He mutters against her clit, the vibrations of his voice rocking through her body. 

She screws her eyes shut, the pleasure making her mind numb. She's never... _three times?_ No she can't, she can't. 

But as he continues his work, a determined glint in his dark eyes, a hum escaping his throat every now and then that send vibrations through her body, Felicity realizes that she can indeed. Because she's about to. 

He suddenly grabs her ankle and throws her leg over his back, allowing his fingers to further penetrate her. A gust of air leaves her at the feeling and Oliver brings his other hand to crawl up her body and starts tweaking her nipple in time to the thrusts of his fingers. It brings a new wave of arousal to coat his hand causing his pumps to be faster with her slickness. He brings his palm up to roughly rub her clit. 

Her mouth opens in a silent cry. She's coming. It's not as grand as the last two but it happens, erupting at the tale end of her second one and leaving her as a quivering mess of limbs. 

"I love you." He's cleaning her now. 

There are stars beneath her eyelids and her entire body is humming with pleasure. She releases her death grip on the sheets, confused as to when she grabbed them, and Oliver trails back up her body slowly, deliberately. He makes sure to tease every bit of her skin, to run his lips over every piece of her flesh. His stubble, gleaming wet with her juices, rubs against her every then and again on his way back up and her hips twitch slightly at the sensation. 

Once he's face to face with her, Felicity wastes no time lowering his lips to hers. She sighs and opens her mouth to him, to which he quickly takes full advantage of. She can taste herself on his tongue and it makes something warm pool low in her belly. 

She shifts her hips to better accommodate him and he settles between them. Felicity reaches down, pulling at his pants impatiently. "Please." It's a whispered beg against his lips but she needs this, needs _him_. 

Oliver moves his head back slightly to look at her and she notices the dark desire has yet to leave his eyes. He still hungers for her the same way she hungers for him. With a quick hard kiss to her mouth he moves his hand between them to undo the button of his jeans and pull down the zipper. Felicity quickly hikes her legs up so that the toes of her feet can help him push his pants down. They stop when they reach his shoes and Oliver kicks them off quickly. She'd laugh if she couldn't feel the hot throb of his erection right against her hip. It sends a shiver through her. Desire once again spiking her blood. 

Once he's left in just his boxers, Oliver kisses her again. Felicity shoves her hand beneath the elastic band, quickly finding his cock and wraps her hand around it. 

He hisses out against her mouth. 

Her tongue dives into his mouth as her hand strokes him, the movements mimicking one another. Oliver growls and reaches for her hand, fingers wrapping around her wrist and pinning it above her head. 

He releases her mouth and she looks up at him. Oliver makes quick work of single handedly ridding himself of his underwear. Once Felicity feels his his hot flesh graze her thigh she closes her eyes and shudders. He runs the head across her folds and her hips buckle. 

"Felicity, look at me." 

She's helpless against him. She opens her eyes and finds him looming over her, his eyes trained on her with such an intensity it raises goosebumps on her arms. With his eyes still on hers, he grabs himself and pushes into her slowly. 

Her eyes fall shut, a sigh leaving her mouth. He just gets the head in and stops. 

"Felicity." 

He waits until she opens her eyes. Once she manages them open he starts moving again, pressing inch by glorious inch in her and Felicity has to fight against the fluttering of her eyelids. Finally he bottoms out, filling her up completely. She allows her eyes to fall shut and bites the inside of her cheek while her free hand comes around to rub his shoulder blade. Oliver allows her a moment to accommodate to his size, the intrusion to her body still new, and Felicity is grateful. 

But then he's pulling out, almost completely, and before a whine of protest and can leave her lips he pushes back in, _hard_. 

A moan rips through her instead and her eyes snap open. Oliver's still watching her face as he continues to move. Long, even, powerful thrusts. He sets a pace, slow and controlled. But it sends Felicity flying, unable to catch her breath. With every push back in a gasp escapes her and every withdraw pulls a groan from her lips. 

She brings her legs, feeling finally returning to them, up around his hips. It causes him to go in further. Her eyes roll at the new depth. 

"Oh, god..." 

Oliver dips his head to nip at her lips and she opens her mouth to him. His kiss matches his thrusts, slow and determined, deep and purposeful. There's so much control, so much composure, it's making Felicity go crazy. 

She pulls her face away from him, dragging her lips to the mole in the corner of his mouth. After placing a kiss there she rasps out, "Please...more." 

And with that a flip is switched. 

She can see it in the tremble of his jaw and the twinkle of his eyes. He pulls his hips back and _snaps_ them forward, pushing the air right out of Felicity's lunges. Oliver doesn't stop, his thrusts becoming faster without losing their force. 

Felicity's hand scrambles to find purchase on his back as his hips piston in and out of her, his face contorted in determination. She kisses him hard and messy. His tongue dances over her teeth while he pumps in and out of her. 

Soon she pulls away from his lips, fighting to breathe against the force and speed of his thrusts. 

"O-li-ver!" His name leaves her mouth in broken syllables with each thrust. 

He moves his attention to her neck, licking and biting while he sets a punishing pace. 

Felicity's eyes shut close again and she can feel it in the tremble of her legs, how close she is. 

"Oli—ah! Oliv—oh! Oh!" 

She can hear their skin slapping, he's moving with enough force to make her go mad. He runs a hand down her abdomen and she shivers at the contact. He reaches between their bodes and finds her clit, still so sensitive from earlier. He caresses it carefully before rubbing it forcefully in time to his thrusts. 

Felicity laces her fingers through his, their hands clasped over her head. She gives his hand a squeeze and he brings his face back up, lips slanting over hers. 

"Cl—close." She warns him, so breathy and quietly she's surprised he can hear it over the creaking of her bed. 

"I know." His voice is rough and he pecks at her lips once more. "Let go." 

He ramps up the pressure on her clit and his hips never stop, never slow. He kisses her soundly and Felicity has to pull away as she shouts out. Crying her release as her walls clamp down on him forcefully. Her blunt nails dig into his shoulder as her body shakes underneath him. She can feel him within her, hard and throbbing but still moving. And she rides out her pleasure, her back arching and eyes rolling to the back of her head. 

She comes back down slowly, panting, and her legs fall from around his hips. She's spent and can barely breath. But as his hand moves from her clit to her hip, Felicity can feel how very hard Oliver still is. 

She musters up all the energy she can fathom and brings her fingers to card through the hair on the nape of his neck. With her lips in his ear, she probes him, "Come on." 

His hips start to falter, losing their rhythm, and she knows his climax is approach as well. She lifts her hips to help him, meeting him halfway as he starts to thrust into her with abandon. 

"Come for me." 

And he does. One, two, three thrusts latter and he stills. He empties himself in her while he bites down on her neck. She can feel him throb and pulsate within her and her walls flutter around him, milking him. 

A proud lazy smile lights her face as she falls back onto the bed. He breathes heavily into her neck before moving back and sliding out. An embarrassing whine leaves her lips at the loss but he quickly kisses it away, settling in bed behind her. 

He brings the sheets from below them up and over them, tucking themselves both in. Felicity snuggles into his front, a content sigh escapes her mouth as he wraps an arm around her and pulls her flush against him. 

Something about needing to talk and figure things out pokes at her mind before her eyes fall shut again and sleep steals her away almost immediately.

* * *

Felicity wakes up slowly. There are a multitude of things tugging on her mind, pulling her in every which direction, but it's the rays of light peeking through her window that ultimately have her blinking her eyes open slowly. 

That and the fact that she feels as if she has fallen asleep inside of a fireplace, she's so _warm_. Upon opening her eyes she finds herself sprawled across Oliver's chest, her head on his heart, arm on his shoulder, and legs tangled up beneath the sheets. She is sure she looks wanton thrown across him and the stickiness between her thighs doesn't disagree with her. She can see the hard panes of his chest directly in front of her and the breath coming out of her nose idly moves the short blond hair dashed across his skin. Thinking back to the night before, and attempting not to blush in the process, Felicity can't help but to feel that they should have talked first before continuing on to such...rigorous activities. Though for Oliver's part, he did quite a bit of talking. Felicity was mostly silent, well except for her enthusiastically loud approval when he played her body with practiced fingers like a wizard... Her legs tingle at the thought and she tries to push the memories away to focus on more pressing issues. Like the fact that she's currently on top of Oliver in her bed. Or that they had sex last night. Or that he had told her he loved her. 

She still couldn't get over that. Only a few hours ago she had been so mad at him for...Oh. Only a few hours ago she had said goodbye to Ray, her _fiancé_ , and wished him well on his trip out of the state. It's amazing, Felicity thinks, that she could have so completely forgotten about him. She was a bad person, was she? She had committed herself to one man while she lay here naked in the hands of another. Sara was right, her life was turning into one giant cliché. Except she was the one character that audience members typically rooted _against_ in this type of soap opera. She wasn't supposed to get the happy ending. In the final act she would catch on fire, or something dramatic like that, and get her punishment, some sort of poetic justice. And although she knows that she does deserve that, she also doesn't want that. She wants a happy ending, as undeserving of it as she feels, she wants it. But wants it with who? 

"You're thinking too hard." 

Felicity's head snaps up and she cranes her neck to see Oliver peeking down at her. His voice is rough with sleep and his face has a lazy half smile but his eyes look alert and focus. They're trained on her, out of fear—it seems—that she might just vanish into thin air or make a run for it. 

"Oh! Hi." 

"Hi." He returns with a lazy drawl. And his smile is so infectious she can't help but to return it with one of her own. 

Felicity sinks back down onto his chest, bringing her other hand to rest flat on his pec. She lays her cheek on it while she studies him. He regards her with wandering eyes. 

"Did I wake you?" It comes out in a hush tone but Felicity feels it's appropriate, anything louder than that could potentially pop this beautiful little bubble they have found themselves in. And she doesn't want to do that, she'd rather stay here for a little while longer... 

"No." He responds simply, his smile widening and causing a dimple to appear on his cheek. 

She brings her finger up to touch the small indent. "What?" 

His eyes seem to shine with a secret before he casts his gaze down and away from her, bringing up a hand to trace soft, lazy circles on her naked back. 

"Last time...I woke up alone." 

Oh. The last time... When she had woken up with a start, realizing what they had done and refusing to think about it as she hopped out of bed, responding to the phone call from work that had jolted her, and grabbed her clothes to change in a different room without casting a second glance his way. She had been so unsure of where they stood and how she had felt, how he had felt about it. But now... Well she isn't that much more clear on where they stand but at least she knows how he feels, at least how he told her he feels... His words from the night before ring in her head loud and clear and suddenly make breathing difficult. 

"Hey," she feels his finger under her chin, dragging her gaze back to his, "where did you go?" He murmurs softly and she knows he's not referring to that morning. He's talking about just now. 

She shakes her head and then bites her lip as a sudden impulse settles in her. Before she can overthink it she moves her body up, using his for leverage, and presses her lips against his. The kiss is soft and sweet, the kind reserved for lazy mornings. She can feel him smile against it, kissing her back and bringing a hand to tangle in what she is sure are her now very messy curls. 

She moves her fingers to spread out over his cheek and caress his stubble, loving the way it feels against the soft pads of her fingers. 

She moves her head back slightly to smile at him. His eyes are closed but the smile on his face is so beautiful she has to bring her face back to kiss him again. 

It quickly moves from an innocent kiss to something much more charged as Felicity feels the proof of just how awake Oliver is straining against her thigh. 

She shivers when he twitches beside her and she rolls her body on top of his. She can feel him release a surprised breath but their lips don't break from the kiss. 

She moves her body slowly, rubbing against his shaft. She's already growing so wet, coating him with her juices. Oliver gasps and brings his hands to grab onto her hips. 

Felicity moves back, breaking the kiss, to sit up straighter on top of Oliver. With her knees on either side of him and his knees supporting her lower back Felicity feels as if she has the best seat in the house to watch Oliver. 

And he's glorious, naked before her, his eyes darkening and his pupils dilated, morning rays of light dancing across the sharp edges of his muscles, his hair mused, more from her or from sleep she isn't sure. 

Biting her lip, Felicity brings her hands up, palms out, to Oliver's collarbone. She runs her hands down, feeling each ridge and curve of his hard chest and stomach, seeing the tattoo above his heart that is Russian for strength and the one down his side that says 'my body is an island' in Chinese characters. She can feel him twitch and flex under her fingers and drags her eyes back to his face. 

"What are you doing to me?" 

It's quiet, Felicity isn't even sure if she's meant to hear it, if he meant to say it out loud, but she understands the statement regardless. Because she's wondering the same thing, _what are you doing to me Oliver?_

She leans back down to kiss him, her hair falling over her shoulder and curtaining them away from the rest of the world. He bites down on her bottom lip then runs his tongue over it soothing the sting. His lips follow her as she moves back, his neck craning until their mouths finally release with a wet smack. She sits back on his thighs again and he runs his hands up her rib cage to settle just beneath her breasts, cupping them each in his massive hands. He gives them a small squeeze before running his thumbs over her pert nipples. His eyes look at her with such reverence as his ministrations pull small mewls from her lips. 

She blushes while looking at him, tucking her hair behind an ear before wrapping her hand around his erection. It jumps in her hands, straining in a way with looks painful. Eyeing it now, in the light of day, Felicity can feel herself grow more wet with the thought that _this_ , this massive thing, gave her so much pleasure the night before. 

She gives him a few quick long strokes. Oliver groans his approval. 

And with that she brings herself up and over him, lining him up at her entrance and eases herself down. Her eyes roll to the back of her head almost immediately and her mouth falls open as she sinks down on him. Oliver's hands around her hips are tight, he doesn't pull her down or push himself up, it's more as if he's holding her to steady himself. Once he's fully sheathed within her Felicity takes a deep breath, her inner muscles squeeze around him experimentally. 

"Felicity." He grounds out, his voice rough. 

Her eyes snap to his, the intensity in his stare is heavy and makes her stomach flutter. She rises, easing herself off him as best as she can before she slips back down, they're slick with their combined juices, making it easy for her to impale herself on him. She rocks on him slowly, taking her time to enjoy the stretch of him invading her before lifting back off him just to do it all over again. She lays her palms flat on his abdomen as she sinks down on him over and over again. 

She feels him tense below her and feels how his finger dig into her hips. He's trying his best to reign in his control, to let her enjoy this at her own pace. Felicity smiles at that and brings her hand to cup his check, rubbing her thumb over his whiskers. He looks up at her and she nods, a silent communication passing through them before she feels him lift his hips to meet her as she slides back down on him. 

She shivers, he smiles and repeats the action. 

Soon her gentle rocking becomes a hard riding, her fingers clutch his biceps for leverage. He thrusts up meeting her hips each time, causing her breath to hitch. The next time she meets his thrust, she contracts her muscles around him as she slides back down on him and Oliver groans. She licks her lips at the sound and repeats the action. She gets the same response. Felicity can feel a tingle in the pit of her stomach as a sheen of sweat breaks over her forehead. And it's like their first time all over again, everything is just as intense. Now Oliver's controlling her movements, forcing her down as he snaps his hips up. She rolls her hips against him and he shifts so his pubic bone bumps her clit. A jolt of surprise courses through her. 

"Yes!" 

Oliver licks his lips, determined, and continues to bounce her up and down on him, scraping her clit at whatever chance he gets. 

"Yes...yes, yes!" She throws her head back and the ends of her hair tickle his knees as he plants his feet to better thrust up into her. 

One of his hands sneak up and begin to play with her nipple, pulling and twisting the bud mercilessly. 

"Oh, oh...oh _god_ , yes! Oliver...Oliver..." She continues to chant his name, getting louder with every snap of their hips. She can feel the pressure build, she's climbing and he's pushing her high and higher... 

"Oh—Oliver!" It's a plea and a cry all at once as she explodes and comes undone in his arms. She slumps forward and he catches her easily as her body continues to twitch in the aftermath. Somewhere in her clouded mind she can hear him grunting before flipping them over and more energetically pumping into her. 

His thrusts are steady and sure and Felicity just allows him to rock above her, her body moving in time with his and pushing her further up the mattress. Her sex hazed mind barely registers as he empties himself into her, still pumping, her name leaving his lips in a deep sexy growl. 

He's pressing kisses to her neck and she's trying to convince her body that it's a good time to come back to earth. 

She's still panting when she finally manages to open her eyes. He continues pressing kisses to her neck, throat, and jaw before making his way up to her cheek. Her fingers dance across his sides. 

"How does breakfast sound?" Oliver hums against her cheek. 

Felicity huffs out a small laugh, he finds his voice before she can. She nods, "Yeah, that sounds good." She manages to croak out. 

Oliver smiles at her, it makes her heart flutter. He bows his head, lips slanting over hers, soft and sweet and she sighs against him. Chuckling softly, he pulls his head back. "I'm going to get up before..." 

His casts his gaze downward and she follows it to where their bodies are still joined. She giggles softly and nods. "Yeah, you should." If not, they will undoubtedly stay in bed the entire day. 

His face still stays close to hers. "Please tell me your not gonna get called away for some tech emergency." 

She giggles, it seems to be the only response that will come out of her in her post costal haze. Suddenly the term _he screwed my brains out_ comes to mind. "Well I can't promise you that," she throws her arm around his back saucily, "but I'd say the chances of that happening are pretty slim." 

He smiles down at her again. Kissing her once, twice, before pulling back and pulling out. 

They both groan at the sudden loss of contact. 

* * *

"Hello?" Laurel steps into The Gambit cautiously, her eyes looking for any sign of activity. 

"You." 

She whirls and finds the same man that she met last time, the one with the crutches. Crutches which he is currently using to drag a box full of gym equipment behind him. "What are you doing here?" He asks her, once he's dragged the box to where five other sit behind the main desk as he settles himself on the desk chair. 

"Um...the door was open." She recalls his name being Ted. Ted the Lawsuit. 

"Yeah, cuz I was moving some supplies around. We don't open this early." 

"You leave the gym door open while you're moving things around, where anyone can walk right in and take something?" 

"You don't know, I could have someone guarding the equipment." 

Laurel quirks a perfectly arched eyebrow. "Well do you have someone guarding the equipment?" 

"Nope." Lawsuit smirks and raises his legs to cross them on top of the desk, leaning back in the chair seeming happy with himself. 

She lets out a breathy laugh, despite her best efforts not to, and rolls her eyes before folding her arms in front of her chest. "And what are you doing? I thought you were injured." 

"Injured is a relative term. And sorry to stomp on what I'm sure is a blossoming law career but I am not a lawsuit waiting to happen." 

She presses her lips together to keep from smiling. "We'll see about that." Taking notice of the crutches left abandoned on the floor, she inquires about them. "And those?" 

He turns his head to follow her gaze, "Oh _those_ ," Lawsuit turns his attention back to her, "those are really just for show to pacify the Big Boss and keep him from throwing a shit fit." 

"You mean Oliver?" 

"Oliver? No. Queen _is_ Boss Man but his bark is worse than his bite. Big Boss is Diggle, and he is someone you do not want to see mad. Do yourself a favor and never get a scolding from him. I'm telling you, having those massive arms swinging around righteously and the finger pointing..." He shivers comically, "let's just say there's nothing scarier." 

"Noted." Laurel takes a moment to look around the empty gym, "Do you know what time Oliver normally gets here?" 

"Normally? Yeah, I'd say he sleeps here because he's always here so early, way before anyone else. But he texted me a little while ago saying he was coming in late today." 

"Have any idea what time that would be?" 

He shakes his head, "Not a clue." 

Laurel drops her arms and runs a hand through her hair. "Ok, then I'll just come back later I guess..." 

"Or I could train you." He offers, dropping his legs to sit straight in the chair. 

"What?" 

"Boxing right?" 

She's taken aback. "How did you...?" 

"You have the stance of someone who needs to punch something, I saw it the moment you walked in." 

Laurel tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, self conscious that she's so easy to ready. 

Ted waves off her worry. "I have to be able to read that in people, if I can't then I'm in the wrong line of business." 

He gets up from behind the desk and walks over to where boxing gloves hang off hooks, lining the wall. "So, red or black?" 

He holds up a pair of gloves in each hand. 

Laurel considers for a moment. "Black. Definitely black."

* * *

Felicity ties her robe securely around her waist as she follows the interesting smells coming from the kitchen. Upon entering she finds Oliver with his back to her. He's wearing only his jeans from the day before and they're hanging dangerously low on his hips. Causing Felicity to lean against the wall in the hallway and just stare, bitting her lip as a flush creeps up her body. His arms, made up of strong bands of muscles curled around one another, glide over her stove, moving pots and lifting lids, arranging temperatures and mixing things. She can see his back stretch and contract with every movement. It makes her press her legs together. 

She tries to shake the feeling away and eases off the wall to plop over on one of the stools lining the breakfast bar. 

"What's cooking?" 

Oliver looks at her over his shoulder and he doesn't seem the least bit surprised at seeing her sitting there. "Did you enjoy the show?" 

She can feel a blush erupting on her face, enflaming her cheeks. 

He doesn't tease her about it further, instead opting to answer her question. "Breakfast burrito with rice, beans, eggs, bell peppers, and sausage." 

"Mm, sounds good." And truthfully it does, especially considering all the energy they exerted the night before...and this morning... 

Wow she really has to get a hold on these thoughts. _Pull it together Smoak,_ she chastises herself before Oliver leaves the stove to walk over to her. 

"And I made your coffee how you like it, cream with three sugars." He pushes a mug her way, her favorite mug, and she looks down at the warm liquid. 

She takes it eagerly in her hands and sips generously. It warms her instantly. "Thank you, it's perfect." 

Oliver smiles brilliantly and leans over the counter so she can peck his lips. Which she does, a couple times. And then they're opening their mouths to one another. She sighs, he groans. He pulls away. 

"The food's gonna burn." Oliver explains. 

Felicity nods, pressing a kiss to his lips once more before picking up her mug and taking a sip. She sits, enjoying watching Oliver cook. 

After a while he places a wrapped up burrito in front of her, steam coming off it. "Enjoy." 

He grabs his own plate and moves to the stool next to her. She gives him her thanks and quickly takes a bites. She chews for a moment, enjoying the texture and flavor until... 

"Oh!" 

Felicity opens her mouth and attempts to fan her tongue. 

Oliver looks over at her in concern, putting down his own burrito. "Felicity are you okay?" 

"M...mhm...I oh." She jumps up from the stool and quickly walks over to her fridge, taking out the milk and filling up a cup before chugging it down. The white liquid soothes her enflamed tongue immediately. 

"Too spicy?" He guesses, coming in front of her to rub her shoulders, a small frown on his face. 

She lets out a breathy laugh. "A little." 

His frowns deepens and Felicity brings up a hand to cup his cheek. "Hey...it's okay." 

"I've never made food for you before." 

She thinks about. "It makes sense though, in college if we didn't go out for pizza the only thing we could afford to make ourselves was ramen or pb&j. After that we only ever went out to eat." 

Looking at his face still turned down in a frown, Felicity can see the boy that he once was. And her heart goes out to Rasia for having to deny him anything and watch his little face turn down in a frown and his lip jut out in a pout, his eyes comically big. 

She can't help but smile at him and reach up to kiss his pout, tugging at his puckered out lip with her teeth. "I think I'm just going to stick with cereal." She tells him, her hand on his chest.

* * *

It was mere months before their college graduation and Oliver had come down to Starling, bringing Felicity along, when Diggle had called and insisted he found the perfect location for their gym. 

"Oliver this is amazing." Felicity says in wonderment. Craning her neck as she moves around in the space. 

"It's empty Felicity, nothing's amazing about it right now." Oliver calls out, paces behind her. 

"Yeah, maybe not now. But the way you were describing it, I could just _see_ it." And it's true, Oliver talked with so much enthusiasm and passion for the project. Felicity could see the love in his eyes and for the first time since she met him, she can tell he's not lost about what he wants to do in his career path. He's found it and this is it. 

"You're going to make it amazing Oliver." At his silence she brings her eyes back to level with his. "Have you told your dad yet?" 

He rubs the back of his neck and Felicity frowns. "I'm just not sure it's a great idea yet and he really wants to give me that job at QC." 

She walks over to him and drags his hand from his neck and into her hands. "Oliver, you're not actually considering that are you?" 

"Of course. I have to. It's been the plan since I was born. Besides it could be nice. The pay's good, much better than anything I could make fresh out of college, and my mom would like to see me around the family more after being away for so long. And I'll get to see you everyday, we can take lunch together." He smiles at her and Felicity knows he wants her to smile in return. 

She shakes her head. "I don't want you to take the job." At his confused look she continues, "You know that I would love seeing you everyday but not under those conditions. Oliver, you'd be miserable. And what's worse is that you won't act miserable, you'll play along, for their sakes, for mine. You'll nod your head and smile when it's appropriate but it'll be empty because even though your body's there, your heart will be here." She looks around the place and can feel Oliver doing the same before they lock eyes again. "This is where you belong. This is what will make you happy. And you shouldn't settle for anything less. I wouldn't want you to." 

Oliver looks into her eyes for a long while before huffing out a small laugh and dropping his head. "I gotta give it to you Smoak, that was good. Very moving. Are you sure you don't want to go into motivational speaking or life coaching?" 

She smiles up at him. "I though you said I should do drama." 

"That's not off the table yet. Apparently you're just too gifted." 

He gazes down at her and she smiles softly in return. 

"Am I interrupting?" 

Felicity turns to the voice. "Not at all John. Actually come here, I was just telling Oliver that–" 

"We'll take it." 

Felicity's eyes snap to Oliver's. "Really? Are you sure?" 

"Yes. You sold me. Real-estate, you should add it to the list, something else you can fall on if IT ends up not working out." 

"Oh Oliver," she throws her arms around him, "you're gonna be so happy. You're gonna do so well with this place." She turns to Diggle. "The both of you will. I just know it." 

"Hear that Dig? Looks like we have our first client." 

She steps back and puts her hands up. "Oh no. I'm good, I don't need it." 

"Don't need what? Basic self defensive? Weight lifting? Learning how to throw a punch without breaking your hand?" Oliver smirks down at her and she slaps his chest in retaliation. 

"Hey that was _one_ time. And I didn't break my hand, I sprang it!" 

Oliver's eyes still gleam mischievously as Dig steps forward. 

"Sprang your hand, how'd you manage that?" 

She steps closer to John. "An ex was annoying me so I socked him! Right on the nose!" She mocks throwing the punch and both men erupt in laughter. 

"Well no wonder you almost broke your hand. Look at your form." John teases. 

Felicity straightens. "Everyone's a critic..." 

"Diggle's right." Oliver states, coming to stand behind her. "To avoid anymore almost breaks you should at least know how to punch someone correctly." 

"You say that like there's an annoying ex lurking around every corner just waiting to get punched. And I don't condone violence, by the way. It was a special circumstance when I lost my cool. Probably won't happen again." 

"Well," Oliver's hands are on her hips and he's much closer than she expected, breathing on her neck, "just in case." 

He pivots her slightly and she's jelly in his hands. He grabs her hand then and curls it into a fist. "See like this you leave your thumb exposed, just asking for it to break. But like _this_ ," he adjusts her fist, still holding onto her hip with his other hand, "this keeps your thumb safe." 

She gulps harshly and nods slowly. He lets go of her after that and she releases a breath she didn't know she was holding. Felicity catches a strange look on John's face before she turns back to Oliver. 

"So you admit now you need help?" 

She scoffs. "You wish Queen. I grew up in Vegas, I think I'll be okay." 

He shakes his head and grins at her. 

* * *

Oliver stands outside Felicity's apartment and shakes his head. It's amazing. He feels like an idiot for not telling her sooner, for not figuring it out for himself sooner. But once he had accepted it, accepted that he loved her, and told her, it had been amazing. 

Dressed in the same clothes from the day before and with a promise to Felicity that they would see each other tomorrow to talk, he takes the steps two at a time. He knows they have to talk, particularly about the big Ray elephant in the room and how they are going to proceed with that, but after their magical night he doesn't blame either of them for not wanting to spoil the morning and instead bathe in the afterglow. Oliver smirks to himself then, thinking about Felicity's cries and mewls, her shouts and moans. 

A movement in his peripheral make Oliver turn his head sharply, but after finding just the curtains of Felicity's neighbor, he shakes his head and walks to his bike. He starts it and folds back the kickstand. He must look like an idiot, he's sure, with the big goofy smiles that adorns his face, but he really couldn't care less. 

The bike roars beneath him and he pulls away from the curve heading to his own place. The stupid grin stays with him the entire ride over, and for the rest of the day. 

* * *

Felicity hums happily as she moves around the kitchen, cleaning up. After she's washed all the pans, stored all the leftover food, and swept the floor, she moves to her bedroom. She blushes as she sees the disarray in which Oliver and she left the bed, clearly broken in. She struggles a little when she has to pull it back out. The creaking sound she remembers hearing last night was her bed sliding across the floor to bump against the wall. 

She thinks about how powerful his thrusts must have been to achieve moving a bed that, she just found out, is quite heavy. She shakes the thought away. _You're gonna have blue balls all day if you keep this up Smoak...or the female equivalent...blue ovaries?_

She chuckles at that train of thought and sets on making the bed. The sheets are practically completely on the floor and the pillows are littered with the bobby pins that were holding up her bun. She finds her articles of clothing thrown around the room carelessly—under the bed, hanging off a lamp, caught in the arm of the desk chair. She scoops it all up in her arms and tosses them in her hamper. 

Once her room looks decent again she moves to the living room, recalling where it all started. She finds her panda flats laying haphazardly on the floor by the couch and bends down to retrieve them. She walks to her closet and tosses them in with the rest of her shoes. 

There's a knock on her door then. She skips over to get it. 

"Sara!" 

"Hey F." 

Felicity embraces her friend tightly and moves them into the living room. "It's so nice to see you!" 

"Yeah, it's always pretty great to see me." Sara winks and Felicity laughs. 

"Oh! You know what?" She suddenly remembers, "I have something you might like. A spicy breakfast burrito." 

Sara throws her hand over her chest as if she's about to say the Pledge of Allegiance. "A woman after my own heart, bring it on Smoak!" 

Felicity smiles excitedly. "Ok lemme go get it." She dances to the kitchen to retrieve her practically untouched burrito from earlier. 

"You're in a good mood." Felicity hears Sara comment while she settles herself into the couch. 

"Mmhmm." Felicity hums noncommittal while she changes the settings on the microwave, placing the plate of food inside. She drums her fingers against the counter top, happiness exuding from her every pore, making things as mundane as waiting for food to warm up, something to get excited about. 

The microwave beeps and she pulls out the food. 

"Felicity...?" It she hadn't been on cloud nine she would have heard the trepidation in Sara's voice, the way she hesitantly lingered on her name for a moment longer than necessary. But she didn't. Instead Felicity walks into the living room, plate in hand, perfectly oblivious to what's about to happen next. 

"What's up?" 

"Care to explain how the hell this happened?" 

Felicity freezes in her spot. In her hand, between her thumb and forefinger, Sara holds Felicity's engagement ring. The one that must have gotten jammed between the couch cushions during her make out session with Oliver. The one that Felicity hadn't even notice was missing all morning. The one that causes a wave of guilt to crash over Felicity faster than she can blink. Sara holds it up with a knowing look in her eyes. A look that says, _busted._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...that happened  
> *clears throat* well there's a lot in here to process so I'll let you guys do that.
> 
> Tease of the week: "...whether it started as a distraction or an experiment, there's no denying that it's very real now. And I don't think that you've sat down to really think about what this means to you."
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	13. Maid Of Honor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my little wonders!  
> I must admit, I had never been more nervous to post something as much as I was to post that last chapter but I'm happy it was so well received :)  
> I am still riding a high on cloud nine after all the comic con goodness we got this past weekend  
> But just as I giveth happiness, I must taketh it away  
> A big thank you to the fantastic kebarrett who stepped in as beta and really saved me  
> Enjoy!

  

"I look like a princess!" Thea beams, twirling in front of the mirror.  

"Yes I'm sure that's the point." Sara replies sarcastically from the plush seats, off to the side of the catwalk Thea is currently on.  

Thea sticks her tongue out at the blonde. "Looks like someone was hit by the big green monster." 

Sara throws her head back, scoffing. "Oh please, what would I have to be jealous about? We're wearing the same bridesmaid dress." 

"Yes, but mine looks better on me." 

Caitlin giggles behind her hand, careful not to move too much as the seamstress kneels in front of her, putting pins in the bottom of the dress. Sara's mouth hangs open, appalled at the spunky young girl's response.  

The young Queen smiles victoriously over her shoulder, and after another twirl in front of the mirror, skips down the catwalk back into the dressing rooms.  

"You little brat!" Sara calls out, half heartedly, unable to come up with a quick enough retort.  

"All I hear is jealousy!" She hears Thea sing song from the dressing rooms.  

Sara huffs and crosses her arms over her chest, sinking back into the cushions of the couch. She blames Felicity. If her best friend hadn't dropped such a big bomb on her the other day and left her so frazzled, she would be able to think of a witty comeback.  

"It's okay," Caitlin assures from the box she's standing on top of as the seamstress works busily on her bridesmaid dress, "she's just excited. I'm sure this is the first wedding she's been a part of." 

The brunette smiles warmly at her and Sara can't help but reciprocate it. She had taken a liking to Caitlin as soon as she met her. The woman was the epitome of warmth and the two were able to hold a very stimulating conversation about the new technology and weapons her husband Ronnie was helping to develop for military use. Sara was happy to know that Felicity had such a warm sweet friend here while she herself was millions of miles away.  

_Speaking of the devil_... "Smoak, get your ass out here, so we can see." She calls out.  She hears rustling before her best friend's voice replies. "No it's fine, I'm just going to change back now and I'll be right out." 

"Oh c'mon, we don't get to see the dress?" Knowing her best friend, putting on the dress probably added ten pounds to the guilt Felicity was already carrying with her like an anchor. Sara could see it on the car ride over. Felicity had been fidgeting and biting her nails the entire way, even while she tried to make conversation with Caitlin and Thea. Sara could see Felicity's eyes dart around nervously and her attention being anywhere but in the car with them.  

"No it's just...you know the whole fiancé not seeing the dress before the wedding? Well...I feel like it should apply to everyone. I don't want anyone to see me...until the ceremony I mean..." 

If Sara hadn't known her for 7 years she may have believed Felicity's BS. But she had in fact known her for 7 years, and Felicity had always been a shitty liar.  

"Aw," Caitlin coos, her hand over her heart, "that's so cute. I remember feeling that way before my wedding day. Don't worry, sweetie, we'll respect your wishes." 

"Thank you Caitlin," Sara hears Felicity call from her dressing room, "glad to have _your_ support." She can hear the unspoken comment directed at her.  

The curtain from the other dressing room is pulled to a side and moments later Thea appears, back in her normal clothes, with the garment bag thrown over her shoulder.  

"Your altercations are all done, Ms. Queen, your dress is ready to be taken." The seamstress tells Thea as she puts the final needles on Caitlin's dress.  

"Thank you." She puts the garment bag to a side and falls next to Sara on the couch. "Phew, trying on clothes is fun, huh?" 

She throws the brunette a cocked eyebrow. "I suppose for some people." 

"Aw c'mon," Thea nudges her shoulder, "you haven't gotten to dress up all 'fancy fancy' since you got deployed. It _must_ be nice to experience it again." 

She turns to the younger girl, folding a leg under her. "To tell you the truth, I wasn't ever really one for dressing up even before I went into the army." She gestures down to her own clothes, leather and dark colors.  

Thea appraises her for a moment before shrugging her shoulder. "Style is style, and you got style my friend." 

Sara snorts and hugs the girl to her side. She missed Thea following her, Tommy, Oliver, and Felicity around when they would come home from college. She had always seen such admiration in the young girl's eyes, aspiring to be like her older brother and his friends. Since leaving, Sara has missed out on how much Thea had grown and come into her own, now her equal.  

"Ok," the seamstress dusts off her pants, "all done. Now for a..." She glances down, "Mrs. Yamashiro?"  

"Oh, her dress has been altered already." Felicity calls out, still in her dressing room, "She couldn't catch an earlier flight so she was fitted for her dress elsewhere." 

The seamstress looks back down at her list. "We'll continue then. Ms. Lance, your turn." Sara pats Thea's knee before getting up to retrieve her garment bag from the rack in the back. Felicity's dressing room opens then. She has her garment bag, considerably bigger than theirs, clutched in her hand. The seamstress' assistance quickly moves forward to take the garment bag from her. Felicity nods her thanks.  

Sara takes her own bag, heading for the dressing room before stopping at the curtain and turning around. "F, you mind helping me out? I'm no good with back zippers." 

"Sure." Felicity eyes her skeptically but moves forward anyways.  

Once the curtain in closed behind them, Sara takes off her jacket and starts undoing her pants. She watches Felicity through the mirror. She's fidgeting the corner waiting for Sara to reprimand her more. Sara doesn't say anything, just lets Felicity stew.  

She pulls her tank top over her head and unzips the bag that contains her dress. She can practically _hear_ Felicity's gnawing anxiety. Sara pulls the dress off the hanger and up her legs, shimming it up past her hips and slipping the spaghetti straps onto her arms.  

"Felicity?" 

The blonde looks up surprised, brought back from wherever her mind had wandered off to.  

"Can you zip me up?" 

"Oh! Right." She steps closer, her hands trembling slightly as she grabs onto the zipper.  

"So..." Sara starts off conversationally, "does Thea know that you're screwing her brother?" Felicity gasps and jumps back, as if she been electrified. "Sara!" She admonishes, "Keep your voice down." 

"What?" Sara asks innocently, "I thought you said it was a one time thing." 

"It _was_ a one time thing." Felicity meets Sara's eyes in the mirror and sighs, stepping up to grab the zipper again. "Turned into a two time thing and...and now...I don't know, okay? Just shut up about it!" She hisses, pulling the zipper all the way up. "There, you're done." 

Felicity throws open the curtain and hurries out, like bat out of hell.  

Sara drags a hand down her face and catches sight of herself in the mirror. Her gown, lavender with spaghetti straps, is simple and pretty. Being the maid of honor, her dress is specially adorned with small lavender flowers on one of the straps, the only thing setting her apart from the other bridesmaids. She idly wonders if she'll ever actually get to wear it. She shakes the thought away.  

Upon opening the door she hears Thea's catcalls.  

"Oh! Sexy mama!" 

"Sara, you look so pretty!" Caitlin gushes next to Thea on the couch, having also changed back into her street clothes.  

But as the seamstress comes to tug on the fabric, making sure it fits correctly everywhere, Sara's eyes don't leave Felicity, who is sulking in her own chair by the rack of dresses, pretending to be enthralled in a magazine while her leg bounces up and down nervously.

* * *

 

 

Laurel walks into The Gambit and leans over the front desk.  

"Hello. Welcome to The Gambit, how may I help you?" A perky redhead asks from behind the desk while a tall muscular man stands behind her.  

"Hi, I have an eleven o'clock with Ted Grant." She says, not quite sure which one of them to address. 

The redhead's eyes twinkle knowingly. "You're Laurel Lance." 

"...Yes." She's slightly confused and leans back.  

The redhead quickly shakes her head and smiles reassuringly. "Ted said you'd be coming in today." She says by way of explanation. Laurel nods slowly.  

The tall man smirks and holds his hand out. "Hi, I'm John Diggle." 

Laurel shakes his massive hand, "Nice to meet you." 

The redhead, whose nameplate reads Carrie, looks around for a moment. "Ted actually just stepped out but should be back any second."  

"Grant's bringing fish tacos for the gym." John tells her. 

"Fish tacos?" Laurel's nose scrunches up involuntarily.  

He smiles at her reaction. "Don't knock it till you try it. And as your trainer he'll probably have you try it." 

Carrie brings her hand up to her headset. "I'll call him right now actually." 

Laurel nods and takes a step back from the desk.  

"You're Sara's sister right?" John asks as he places a towel around his neck.  

"That I am." She hears happy whistling somewhere behind her and turns around to see Oliver, arms full with documents and a secret grin on his face. "Oliver?" 

He stops mid whistle and turns on his heel. "Laurel!" He pushes his papers to one side of his body, opening the other to hug her.  

She hugs back, patting his back slightly confused. "Hi..." 

"What are you doing here?" He asks, conversationally, leaning against the front desk.  

"Uh..." His sudden cheerful mood throws her slightly off kilter for a moment, "I have a boxing lesson with Lawsuit—I mean Grant."  

His grin widens. "Ah," he nods, "I see." 

"Are those the end of the year reports?" John asks, gesturing to the stacks of papers Oliver is carrying.  

"Yes sir." He replies.  

Diggle nods. "I'll take them to the filing room."  

"Thanks buddy." 

"It was nice meeting you Laurel." John says as he takes the paperwork into his arms.  

"You as well." 

"And let your sister know I'll take her up on that salmon ladder challenge whenever she wants." 

Laurel huffs out a small laugh. "I don't know what those words mean but I'll be sure to tell her." 

John smiles before walking off.  

Laurel turns back to Oliver. "You're in a better mood." She notes.  

Oliver's brows furrow together. "What do you mean?" 

"Well last time I was here..." 

"Was I in bad mood then?" 

"No." Not necessarily. He had been pleasantly surprised to see her and Sara, he just seemed...a bit off. His smile didn't quite reach his eyes which had a faraway haunted look to them. And his face had scrunched up in a strange manner when Sara had mentioned the wedding... "Your mood just seems improved that's all." 

He smiles again, a smile she's not sure she's ever seen on his face. And she had grown up around Oliver Queen and Tommy Merlyn. The three of them had practically been raised together. And although they had gone their separate ways for college, or she had gone a separate way while he and Tommy left to Boston together, those years of separation didn't change how well they all knew each other. She had a little bit of a crush on Oliver when they were going through elementary and middle school together. It actually wasn't until high school when Tommy had asked her out that she finally got over her feelings for Oliver. But it didn't mean she didn't know him. Oliver was a very private person and particularly closed off when it came to his emotions. And although she had only ever seen him cry twice in her entire life, his smiles she knew well.  

He had a toothy grin, leftover from when they were toddlers and he was teething, that graced his face whenever he did something mischievous. Usually with Tommy right by his side.  

He had a big flashy smile that he used as part of his rich playboy persona. The one that appeared on all his photos regardless of the occasion, mugshot and yearbook picture alike.  

He had a lopsided smirk that was reserved for flirting. And when paired with his bedroom eyes Laurel was sure no woman would be able to resist, at least none in high school had been successful in doing so.  

Then he had a small smile where the corners of his lips would tug up, almost imperceptibly but it was there. That one was special, only few ever saw it, it only came out when he was in trusted company.  

But _this_ one. The grin he currently has stretch out across his face that gives him a little dimple in his cheek and shows this twinkle in his eyes, Laurel knows she's never seen this one before. And in all the years she's known Oliver, she has never seen him with a smile she couldn't place into one of the four categories.  

So whatever, or whoever, has him sporting this new smile Laurel knows it must be special. Very special. 

* * *

 

 

"You gotta give me some answers Smoak." Sara follows Felicity into her apartment.  

Felicity drops her keys in the bowl by the door and heads straight for the kitchen, throwing open the fridge. Apparently the silent treatment she attempted to give Sara on the car ride over didn't work. It seemed to have to opposite effect actually.  

She pours herself a glass of orange juice, hoping Sara will ignore the slight tremble in her hands— _unlikely_ —and brings it to her mouth. Deafening silence surrounds them as she takes her time sipping from her juice, hoping that by the time she finishes it she will have put together something to tell her best friend.  

"So?" Sara prompts, the now empty glass sitting in the sink next to Felicity.  She searches her brain. A lie? It wouldn't work, Sara is too smart for that and would see right through her. A half truth? Almost as bad. Besides not being completely honest is what got her in this mess in the first place and she wouldn't be doing herself any favors by digging herself deeper into dishonesty.  

Felicity sighs. The truth it is. "Yes. We slept together again. Oliver told me he loves me." She throws her hands up in exasperation, as if to prompt a 'so what?' 

Sara's head snaps back, as if to avoid being struck by something, her face scrunches up and she closes her eyes. She opens her mouth only to shut it as she looks around the apartment.  

"Where's Ray?" 

The questions comes as a bit of a surprise to Felicity but she doesn't know exactly what she had expected her friend to say. And she's too tired to try to hide anything. "On a business trip in Gotham." 

Sara's eyebrows shoot up. "He got the watch working?" 

"Yeah." Felicity turns on the water and starts washing her glass, needing to do something to occupy her hands.  

"So what? You guys are gonna move there?" 

"Maybe..." She allows, shutting off the water, "I don't know. That was the plan anyways." 

" _You_ move to Gotham?" Felicity can make out the dismissive tone in Sara's voice and turns to face her friend. Her brows quirk questioning.  

"I just mean that you hate Gotham, you would never move there. You go on rants about how terrible the crime rate is alone." 

"Well it'd be for Ray's job..." 

"Oh right and what exactly would you being doing? Staying home and taking care of the dogs?" 

"I'd get a job." She says defensively.  

"You're planning to uproot your entire life and move to the other side of the country with a man you don't even live with _now_?" 

Felicity can't believe the question. "When we got together he had just gotten his lease renewed and I like my place..." 

Sara rolls her eyes and pushes air out through her nose harshly. "Oh please those are flimsy excuses and you know it." 

"What exactly are you trying to get at Sara?" She takes a step away from the sink.  

"What I'm getting at is that you're gonna pack your life up and jump on a plane to live in an unfamiliar place with Ray when you don't even know what it's like to live with him. Seems pretty stupid to me Felicity." She turns to the living room.  

Felicity fumes and follows behind her. "We'll figure it out! That's what couples do, they go on adventures together." 

"Adventures?" Sara scoffs.  

"Yes adventures." Felicity stops to stand in front of her. 

"Well this little 'adventure' of yours," her fingers come up to make air quotes around the word, "sounds a whole lot like running away to me."  

Now it's Felicity's turn to roll her eyes as she places her hand on her hips. "Oh, and what do I have to run away from?" 

"Oh I don't know, maybe your feelings for Oliver."  

Her hands drop from her hips and she stands gaping at her friend.  

Sara circles the couch. "Because whatever this thing is between you two, whether it started as a distraction or an experiment, there's no denying that it's very real now. And I don't think that you've sat down to really think about what this means to you." 

"You think I haven't thought about it?" Felicity can feel tears spring to her eyes.  

"Oh no, I know you've thought about it. Thought about how it would effect Ray, how Donna would react, what it would mean to Ray's mom, what Thea would say...because that's what you do Felicity, you take everybody else's feelings and opinions into consideration. Except for your own. You haven't thought about what this means to _you_."  She's standing close now, so close Felicity knows she can see the moisture coating her eyes, refusing to pool over.  

"What does this mean to _you_? How do _you_ feel about this?" 

Felicity's eyes start to drift down. Sara's right, she had considered what would happen to everyone else if this situation were to unfold. She had to. But she hadn't stop to consider what would happen to her. She didn't think she deserved the consideration.  

"Are you in love with Oliver?" 

Sara's question makes her eyes snap back up to the blonde. "What?" 

"It's a fair question. I mean all throughout college I wanted to know." 

Felicity remains silent, the tears that threaten to fall now begin to cloud her vision.  

"Do you love Ray?" 

"You know that I do." 

"No. Right. Of course. You wouldn't agree to marry him if you didn't have feelings for him. But what kind of feelings? And how do they differ from how you feel about Oliver?" 

"Sara..." 

"Are you in love with Oliver?" 

"Get out." 

"Answer the question Felicity." Sara's face is distorted in Felicity's hazy vision.  

"Get. Out." It comes out less lethal than she intended, and more like a plea for her life, but Felicity's barely hanging on by a string. And even through her clouded vision Felicity can see Sara studying her face, and she can see the moment Sara gets the answer to her question—it's right there, very apparent on Felicity's face, even when she's on the verge of tears.  

After a moment's hesitation Sara starts to make her way to the door. She opens it and pauses there before turning back around to face Felicity. "Oliver deserves to know. And—I don't know—maybe your fiancé too. Just a thought." And with that she's gone.  

Felicity releases a breath of relief. Her tears flow freely as she slumps down to the couch.

* * *

 

 

"And these too." Felicity puts a bag of almond m&m's down on the counter just as Oliver's about to pay. She leans against the counter, her back to it, chewing gum. Her hair is down in wild curls barely being tamed by the backwards baseball cap she's wearing. And on her nose, where her glasses usually sit, are aviators. _His_ aviators.  

It's the last vacation they're all taking before starting the rest of their lives post graduation. Tommy's heading out to China soon, Felicity is weeks away from starting her job at QC, Sara took everyone by surprise and ended up enlisting in the army so she starts training in a little over a week, and Oliver just put his down payment for what he's hoping to turn into a gym with Diggle. They will all be going their separate ways soon.  

So for right now, they're spending this time together. They're taking a road trip from Boston down to San Diego, California for Comic Con. They are currently half way through their trip, making a small pit stop in Oklahoma at a gas station. It was just supposed to be a quick stop to refill the tank, get some water, a couple sandwiches and chips...and apparently almond m&m's. Oliver pushes the chocolate with the rest of the supplies, signaling to the cashier to include it in the total. He peers down at her.  

"Are you wearing my sunglasses?"  

She tilts her head up at him, popping a big bubble before responding. "Yes." 

"Without asking?" 

He can see her roll her eyes through the tinted lenses. "Oh please Oliver, like I didn't see you finish my water bottle when we drove through New York?" 

He puts his elbow on the counter and turns his body towards her, getting closer to her eye level. "First of all, you were supposed to be asleep. Second—" 

"Oh so that makes it okay?" 

"Second of all, everyone knows that the driver gets special privileges. Drinking whosoever water is closest being among the privileges. It's just the rules of the road." 

She laughs at him, shifting her body closer. "Oh is that so?" 

"Excuse me!" Sara cuts through them, dropping half a dozen small weights on the counter.  

"Sara what is all this stuff?" Felicity asks, pushing her— _his_ —sunglasses down her nose to peer over them.  

"Well I figured if we're going to be trapped in a car for the better half of the next few days I might as well get a workout in." 

"You're going to work out _in the car_?" 

"Yup." She pays the cashier.  

Felicity looks at Oliver past Sara and he just shrugs. "She's _your_ friend." 

Sara hits him in the shoulder with a weight.  

"Ow!" 

"I heard that." 

"Hey guys!" 

They all turn to see Tommy come out of the aisle wearing a wide brimmed farmer's hat made of straw. "What do we think about this?" 

"No." They all call out in unison.  

"Aw, c'mon." He pouts.  

"Sorry dude," Oliver says as he pulls a water bottle out of his bag of purchases, "it's been vetoed." 

Felicity holds her thumb down for emphases.  

"But you guys already vetoed the driving gloves I wanted to get in Ohio." 

"We get one veto per stop." Sara explains over her shoulder, placing her weights in the plastic bag the cashier gives her.  

Oliver and Felicity nod, agreeing to the new rule.  

Tommy sighs, deflated. "Fine." He grumbles, taking off the hat.  

"Aw poor baby." Felicity stage whispers to Oliver.  

He snickers in reply. "I told you he wasn't ready to be out of his car seat yet." 

"What do you think, should we keep him?" He smiles at her question, remembering the first time she asked it back at the end of their sophomore year.  

She smiles up at him, clearly sharing the memory.  

"Get a room already." Sara groans.  

Felicity turns to her friend and sticks her tongue out.  

Oliver just laughs, already used to Sara's joking implications about them.  

"What about this?" Tommy averts their attention, holding up a bag of mini chocolate donuts.  

"Now you're talking Merlyn!" Felicity cheers in approval. "Toss 'em here!"

* * *

 

 

Felicity chews the inside of her cheek insistently as she absentmindedly paces her living room. After crying a bit on the couch, and screaming her frustrations out on a pillow, and maybe shoving half a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream in her mouth, she had taken up to pacing. So she paces, while mumbling things under her breath to herself. Throw in her tendency to talk with her hands and rub them when she was nervous, and Felicity is sure she looks like a crazy person. Like the kind that hangs in the street corners of the Glades, they don't even ask for money they just talk loudly to themselves and put everyone around them on edge.  

On edge. That is exactly how Felicity feels. Like her skin sits uncomfortably on her bones. She just keeps replaying Sara's words over and over in her head. She brought up valid points, all things Felicity had overlooked, maybe subconsciously or on purpose, but overlooked nonetheless.  

There's a knock on her door and Felicity jumps, immediately brought out of her musings. She walks over to it and throws it open.  

"Hey." It's breathy and sweet just like their morning together. A morning that feels so far away now.  

"Oliver." Somehow seeing him there, his signature leather jacket and a secret smile on his face, makes her stomach flutter and chest constrict all at once.  

He's looking down at her, in that intense way of his, his blue orbs piercing and making a blush rise up from her chest. "Everything ok?" 

Felicity shakes her head and fixes a smile on her face. "Uh, yeah. Yeah. Come in." 

She steps aside and Oliver glides right past her. Before she can close the door he dips his face and cups her cheek. And then he's kissing her. It's soft, simple, sweet.  

"I've been waiting all day to do that." He tells her against her lips.  

And Felicity wants to melt. The moment's so perfect it's almost as if she hadn't fought with Sara earlier. Except she had.  

"Oliver." She wraps her fingers around his wrist.  

His eyes jump around her face, noticing the change in her features. "What's wrong?" His face is soft and concerned.  

She sighs against his palm then turns to fully close the door. She beckons him over to the couch. "We need to talk." Felicity cringes as soon as the words leave her mouth.  

"Well if this were one of those 80's teen movies Thea loves to watch then I'd be worried." He tries for light but she can detect the tightness in his voice. He walks around and stands in front of her, off to the side of the coffee table.  

"Oliver please sit." 

He eyes the spot next to her before shaking his head. "Considering the things that tend to happen when we're sitting there I think I'll stand." 

She looks down at the cushion next to her and he's right. It's the couch where they shared their first kiss and he told her he loves her. It's also where she almost slept with him before her engagement ring reminded her about Ray, the same ring that incidentally ended up stuck in between the cushion on their second night together. This couch represents the peaks and valleys of their relationship as of late. And unfortunately, she's about to add another one to the list.  

"Felicity...will you just tell me what's going on." His voice has lost it's joking tone and now Oliver just sounds...hesitant? Scared? 

It pains her so she looks up at him. He stands there, his eyes desperately searching her face for answers. And if her conversation with Sara taught her anything it's that her face is too easy to read. Felicity closes her eyes and shakes her head. She needs to tell him this herself. She just needs to figure out how... 

"Oliver, what happened the other day..." 

She hears his grumble and looks up to find him scrubbing a hand down his face. "Are you gonna tell me it was another mistake?" 

"What? No!" She jumps up, dragging his hands away from his face. "Oliver listen to me. No, that's not what I was going to say. I wouldn't...the other night was..." _Wonderful? Amazing? Perfect? Spectacular?_ "We just, we should have talked more first..." 

He grasps her hands tightly as he looks into her eyes intently. "Talk about what Felicity? What more is there to discuss? I told you everything, I love you." 

She has to look away from the intensity in his eyes, had they always been so freaking _blue?_ "Oliver you can't...it's just that if we...we can't..." 

"What Felicity? What?" 

She lets go of his hands to press her own to her forehead and starts pacing, needing space. 

"Felicity," he begs. 

"I'm engaged! And that didn't come up once our whole night together...or the morning afterwards. And that's my fault. Whenever I'm around you I just forget about Ray and that's...that's not good..." 

"So this is about him?" 

"No it's not just about him." She doesn't miss the way Oliver refuses to say his name.  

"Then what is it?" 

"It's everything! It's your timing—" 

"My _timing_?" He asks, incredulous.  

"Yes. Your timing. I mean you wait until I am a month, _five weeks_ , away from getting married to spring this on me. Suddenly you have feelings for me?" 

He steps closer. "I told you I've had them for a while." 

"Yes but you only figured it out, what, a few days ago?" 

He stands stiff. "So you don't believe me?" 

"No Oliver I never said that..." 

"That's it isn't it?" He throws his hands up, "Just admit it Felicity. You think I'm lying." 

"No. I think that you believe what you're saying but how do I know how real it is? How do I know that tomorrow you're still gonna feel the same way?" She steps closer, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears, "How do I know that if I call off the wedding, if we run away together, that you're still gonna want me once you have me? Once I'm available, how do I know your feelings aren't gonna change? I've seen it happen with you before Oliver." 

"So this is about my past?" 

"This is about you walking into my apartment and telling me, a very _engaged_ me, that you didn't realize you had feelings for me for _five_ years!" 

"What? Was I supposed to know the first night I met you?" He's yelling now.  

"Maybe!" Her shouts match his, "Ray told me he loved me after our fifth date! Granted it was a little soon but you know what, he felt something and he told me. He let me know instead of keeping me in the dark!" 

"Yes, because your relationship clearly relies heavily on trust and honesty." 

Felicity balls her hands up into fists. She's never wanted to hit Oliver so much before.  

He brings his face leveled with hers. "Go ahead," he sneers, "hit me. It'll make you feel better I'm sure." 

She looks up into his eyes and can see the anger masking the pain. She sighs, "I just want some consistency from you Oliver. One day you tell me you have purely platonic feelings for me and the next day you show up at my door and tell me you love me I just..." Felicity closes her eyes against the emotions raging in her chest.  

She feels Oliver straighten beside her and take a step back. He sighs, a big heavy sigh that sounds like it was logged in his throat for the longest time. "You want consistency. Ok, how's this? You have been my best friend for 5 years, but I...I can't. I don't want to be your friend anymore, Felicity." 

Her lungs feel like they're on fire and she has to open her mouth to suck in breath. She can't move, can't speak, can't open her eyes to watch Oliver's retreating figure. She hears him leave and close the door, hears his motorcycle roar to life and then take off. Felicity stands there for a moment longer. She walks to her bedroom slowly. And then she quite literally collapses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly I was raised on an unhealthy amount of Spanish soap operas  
> Don't hate me. Blame the characters, I keep trying to bring them together and then everything goes to shit.  
> It was nice being able to show some familiar faces with the whole bridesmaid moment  
> Someone had commented a few chapters back that they wanted to see more Diggle so I came back to this and wrote him in because I realized it had been too long of a stretch without seeing him. So he made a little cameo in this thanks to you guys :)  
> And I know people were expecting Sara to be super supportive but she's just giving out tough love. She's not team Oliver or team Ray, she has no personal stake in this. She just deeply cares for Felicity and as her friend wants to make sure that she's thinking things through and not doing anything she'll regret later on. She's team Felicity all the way. You should have seen my notes for this chapter when I outlined it before writing. It said: "Sara leans on Felicity, asking her the tough questions" so there you go.
> 
> Tease of the week: "And I...I just can't continue whatever this is between us until you tell me. I need to know."
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Leave me a prompt on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	14. I Vow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my sweeties!  
> I am constantly amazed at all the love and support I get from you guys, really it's humbling. I know the angst is at an all time high right now, so I want to thank everyone who is still with me and ask you guys to come a little further  
> A big thank you to the fantastic kebarrett who stepped in as beta and really saved me  
> Enjoy!

Felicity Smoak was not a crier. It's not like she condemned crying, no, in fact she often encouraged it. She thought it could be helpful and therapeutic sometimes, that crying could act as a stress reliever. Better to just let it out, she always believed.  The fact of the matter was that Felicity herself hadn't really ever engaged in full out, slobbery, therapeutic crying.  

It wasn't as if she had a fairy tale childhood, there was indeed a fair amount of darkness and sadness in it. But none of it made Felicity feel the need to break down, at least not so drastically.  And then when she got her scholarship to MIT, it seemed as if the days of pain and sadness were behind her. Still, even in the missteps and failures during her time in Boston, Felicity never _broke down_ crying. Sure she shed a few tears when she received a C+ on her English midterm freshman year and when she found Cooper making out with a girl in her coding class. But Felicity never broke down. She'd shed a few tears and then soldiered on with her head held up high.  

And honestly since she graduated and moved to Starling, Felicity found she had less to cry about. Sure things would get hectic at work—like her first day at QC when she rushed in late for a meeting and spilled a latte all over her supervisor or that time a rumor had started that she was secretly sleeping with Robert Queen because he had affectionately touched her shoulder and wished her a good weekend on the way out of the office—but those things didn't make Felicity cry. On the contrary they elicited a very different reaction from her, they made Felicity want to do better, be stronger, stand straighter. They " _polished her iron balls_ " as Sara so eloquently put it.  

But the other night, when Oliver had told her he didn't want to be friends anymore, well that had certainly put an end to Felicity's "no breaking down" streak. It was just so out of her control and Felicity hated being so helpless. But there's really nothing she can do about it. Oliver made his choice and as much as it kills Felicity to admit it, he's entitled to do so. He's entitled to say enough is enough. And he had, quite loudly.  

Felicity sniffles again and drags her body up. She sees a little pool of liquid on her pillow, made up more of her snot or her tears she doesn't know. She looks down at her shirt to see matching streaks running down it.  

_Hmm, looks like I'll have to get rid of my "Slobber Free Since '03" shirt. But "Slobber Free Since 2015" doesn't have the same ring to it._  

She snorts at her thoughts despite herself, although she feels mostly delusional. She did lose a lot of liquid from her body because of all the crying from the night before, so maybe she's dehydrated. With that thought, Felicity lifts herself up and drags herself over to the kitchen for some water. She gulps down two cups, more thirsty than she originally thought, and brings a third with her back to bed.  

* * *

 

"I'd ask 'what did the punching bag ever do to you' but something tells me you're taking your frustration out on it regarding something else entirely." 

"Wow Diggle you are perceptive, a real Sherlock Holmes." Oliver's voice comes out strained as he throws two more punches at the bag.  

Diggle walks around him to stand behind the punching bag. "Ah, we get smartass Oliver, must be serious." He puts his weight against it, allowing Oliver to throw harder punches and keeping it from swinging back.  

"Yeah, you could say that." His voice is gruff.  

"Well since it had to have happened yesterday—" 

Oliver pauses momentarily. "Why do you assume it happened yesterday?" 

"Because you've been in an fantastic mood for the past couple days." 

He throws another punch. "So I've been told," he stops, "wait am I usually in a terrible mood?" 

" _Terrible_? Usually no. But ever since your uh... _situation_ with Felicity," that earns a hard punch to the bag, "you haven't exactly been a ray of sunshine man."  Oliver attacks the bag with renewed vigor, giving it four more punches before throwing out a roundhouse kick.  

"Woah," Dig steps back, clearly not expecting that.  

"Sorry." Oliver mumbles slightly out of breath.  

"So are you gonna tell me what happened or am I going to have to painfully pull it out of you? I can already guess who it is about. A short blonde with glasses?" 

Oliver huffs out a grimace, reaching for water. "Why such an interest in my personal life Dig? Is work not challenging enough for you? Are you bored at home?"  

Diggle folds his arms. "Rest assure you make work plenty challenging, I'm struggling trying to assure the clientele that you're just a customer having a seizure back here and that you're not going to attack any of them." 

Oliver rolls his eyes but sees over the bottle that Diggle is deathly serious.  

"What do you want from me?" 

"I want you to tell me what's going on instead of just taking it out on the bag before you run out of things to punch." 

"Well isn't that why we opened up the gym here in the first place? To give the angry people of the Glades a place to take their anger out that's safe." 

"Yeah, somewhere to take their physical anger out so once they were tired they could open up and talk about why they were angry. And they could _let go_ of that anger that was eating up at them. But you're not allowing yourself to let go Oliver. You're just letting that anger fester up inside you and with every punch you're letting yourself to get angrier." 

Oliver looks away from his friend. He's still vibrating with tension and energy, too much to listen to the logic of Diggle's words. "I'm fine John." 

He uncrosses his arms and steps forward to place a hand on Oliver's shoulder. "Now I know that even you don't believe yourself when you say that." 

* * *

 

Felicity told herself not to look at her phone for a long time before she did. She demanded herself for a while not to grab it before she did. And she forced herself not to bring up Oliver's contact page for an entire minute before her fingers were flying over the keys to do just that.  And now she's just staring at his contact information—name, number, address, as is she doesn't already have that all memorized—and she's trying to convince herself not to call him.  

There's a million reasons why she shouldn't. Their heated argument is too fresh in their minds. She's still too raw from it and she's guessing he is too. She may very well say something she doesn't mean and he'll respond in kind. He told her he didn't want to be her friend anymore.  

_Yeah that last one kinda feels like the nail in the coffin_ , Felicity admits. And even though she only has one somewhat valid reason for why she should, it seems to outweigh all the reasons she shouldn't.  

_I need to hear his voice_. It's such a high school crush sounding reason that Felicity wants to laugh, and she would if she had half a brain left. Which she clearly doesn't since she's letting her finger hover above the call button.  

Suddenly a texts pops up on her screen, shattering all her indecision.  

_Hey baby, I'll be there in an hour to pick you up._  

It's from Ray. He had called her last night and told her—or more accurately told her in a voicemail since she was in no condition to answer the phone at the time—that his plane had landed safely, he would tell her all about the trip later, and they had a meeting with the priest scheduled at 1 today. Cisco had picked him up from the airport and taken him home, Ray said he'd go back to his apartment because he didn't know what time he'd actually make it back with the traffic and didn't want to wake her up. Felicity was grateful, she wasn't exactly sure she could explain her sobbing if he showed up last night.  

But, regardless, the text serves to remind her of one very important thing, something she seems to keep forgetting: she is engaged. Felicity tosses her phone on the other side of the bed, she doesn't even want to see it right now. She gets up slowly, uncurling herself and stretching, and walks over to her clothes to pick out what to wear to re-enter the human world. She's showered, dressed, and half way through applying make up when her phone goes off. It lays on her bed ringing and Felicity just stands in the mirror staring at her half done face. What if it's Oliver? But she doesn't even want to entertain the thought of what he could possible have to tell her. What if it's Ray? But he's on his way here so what need could he have to call her? Felicity shakes her head, knowing that she'll be choked by hypotheticals unless she just answers it. When she gets to her bed and reaches the phone she stares down at the screen for a moment to see it's an unknown number.  

"Hello?" 

"Smoak and Mirrors?" 

She can hear the smile on the other line and it brings one of her own. "...Tommy?" 

"The one and only baby." 

"Ohmygod Tommy!" Did she just squeal? "I haven't heard from you in ages, how have you been? Did you get my invite? I didn't know if I got your address right or not." 

She hears Tommy chuckle. "I got it Smoak, rest assured, that's why I'm here." 

" _Here_? As in...?" 

"I'm back in Starling City." 

"No...really? For how long?" 

"Until after the wedding." 

"Oh my god Tommy, I'm so happy to hear that!" 

"Good. I want to take you out to dinner. You and your fiancé, what's his name? Rick?" 

"Ray." She corrects.  

"Yeah him. Bring him along, I want the whole college crew there, I head Lance is back in town." 

"Yes, they both are actually." Felicity says before she can stop herself.  

Tommy pauses for a second and Felicity is about to apologize before he powers on. "We all got to get together. You, me, Sara, Oliver. I want to get the band back together Smoak!" 

She smiles at his enthusiasm before she can sober up again. "That is very ambitious Tommy, we'll see if we can make it happen. You know everything's kinda crazy with all the planning..." 

"No, of course, of course. But if someone can make it happen, it's you Smoak." 

Felicity smiles and before dread can fill her at the very thought of sitting down for dinner with Ray and Oliver, she quickly asks, "So how's everything been with you? How's China?"

* * *

  

"So I understand the two of you have refrained from writing your own vows?" 

"Yes that's correct. We're hoping to go for a more traditional feel and just recite the vows that are given." Ray explains.  

"I see." The priest peers at them over the rim of his glasses.  

Father Hilton was Ray's family priest. He had been a part of all the religious milestones in Ray's life. Just as he had been there for Isabelle's. He was set to officiate the wedding but insisted on meeting with them first, to get a feel for them as couple. To say it made Felicity nervous was putting it mildly. She had been raised Jewish, per her father's request, but after he abandoned her and her mom, Donna had done some soul searching. She had studied Hinduism, tried Mormonism, there was even a small span of time when she considered becoming a Jehovah's Witness. And she had dragged her daughter through all of it. So when Donna took her stab at Christianity, she submerged Felicity in the religion as well. Felicity had gone through all the steps: baptism, first communion, confirmation. Donna's stint as a Christian had lasted slightly longer than her other attempts at "finding her God". But just as quickly as it came on, it left her and she was on to the next faith. However, in the short time Felicity had spent in church she had always been uneasy around priests.  

Now sitting here, in front of the Palmer family's priest, next to her fiancé with whom she had cheated on only a few days before...well it's suffice to say that Felicity is more than uneasy.  

"So tell me more about yourself Ms. Smoak." 

"Hmm?" Felicity's head snaps up quickly, guilty at having been caught in a reverie. _I'll just add it to the list._  

"I already know so much about Raymond and his family," Father Hilton continues, "and so I can specify the ceremony to the two of you, I would like to know more about you." 

"I don't know what there is to tell..." She picks absentmindedly at the fray on the end of her skirt.  

"Well, how about your childhood growing up? Where you raised in the church?" 

"Originally no. My mother was a single parent and turned to religion for guidance." It's not exactly a lie, more like a sugar covered truth. Is lying to a priest a bigger sin than lying? Felicity really wishes she'd paid more attention to the sermons and lectures they had given at church when she used to attend.  

"That's nice," Father Hilton leans back, his gaze no longer so penetrating, "and what do you do for a living?" 

"I working in the IT department at Queen Consolidated." 

"She's being modest father," Ray quickly interjects, "Felicity is actually the head of the special projects division there. I'm very proud of her accomplishments." Ray turns to beam at her and reaches for her hand. He grabs her stiff fingers and she worries he can feel how clammy her palm is.  

"I see." Father Hilton scribbles something down and Felicity feels like she's being scrutinized in a therapist's office as opposed to having a somewhat casual conversation with a man of God. 

"And tell me, how did you two meet?" 

Felicity turns to Ray, her eyes pleading with him to speak. He nods once before facing Father Hilton. "At a work function of sorts. It was a fundraiser for technology programs at school and both our companies were in attendance." He turns to her once again, his eyes soft with the memory. "She bumped into me and we started talking, happy to be away from the socialites." Felicity forces a smile in return to Ray. Her nerves are quite literally eating away at her as he speaks. 

"And what do the two of you fight about most often?" Father Hilton asks. 

"Excuse me?" Felicity's head whips forward. 

"What are your biggest arguments about? What do you dispute over?" 

They take a tentative look at each other, both with expressions of confusion. 

"We don't really..." She hedges, surprising herself with the revelation. 

"We see eye to eye on almost everything." Ray agrees.  

Father Hilton makes a noncommittal hum at that. "So tell me Raymond, why do you love Felicity?" 

He squeezes her hand before answering. "She's caring and smart and passionate. And she showed me I could be fun again. She has been my partner through and through and I want to share the rest of my life with her." 

"Well son, are you sure you want to stick with traditional vows then? Because what you just said truly came from the heart." 

Father Hilton smiles at the young couple and Ray kisses the back of her hand. Felicity just sits there waiting for a hole to open up and swallow her...probably send her straight to hell.

* * *

"And what exactly are you supposed to be?" Sara asks.  

Oliver only widens his eyes and leaves his mouth hanging open in response.  

They were at San Diego Comic Con, their last stop before going home. And home would only be temporary, in a matter of weeks Tommy would be on his way to China and in a month's time Sara would be off to training camp while he and Felicity would be staying in Starling. She would starting working for his father and he would start a gym with Diggle. He had invited Diggle to met up with them at Comic Con but Dig had told Oliver that he and his new wife, Lyla, would be busy that weekend.  

"Are you kidding me Sara?" Oliver asks, throwing his hands in the air. "I think it's pretty obvious who I am." 

Sara purses her lips at him, folding her arms and studying him. She shakes her head a drops her arms. "No clue buddy." 

"I'm Hawkeye!" 

She meets his declaration with silence.  

He waves his bow in her face. "Hawkeye..." 

"Am I supposed to know who that is?" 

"Only the coolest member of the Avengers." 

"He was in the Avengers?" 

Oliver takes a step back appalled, his hand over his heart.  

Felicity comes up behind him, grabbing his bicep. "Be careful Sara," she warns, "he's very touchy about this subject." 

Sara rolls her eyes and throws her hair over her shoulder, folding her arms. "Alright then Queen, let's have it. What so special about this Hawkguy?" 

"It's Hawk _eye_ ," Oliver clarifies sternly, "and he's an extraordinary marksman. I mean he has no super strength, no super healing abilities. He wasn't bit by a spider or dropped in a vat of acid. No one did experiments on him or—" 

"Ok get to the point." 

"The point, Sara, is that he was just an ordinary guy. He ran away from home and joined the circus. And now he's on a team with a demigod, a super soldier, and a man in a metal suit. He's so good as an archer that he's a normal human on a team full of nonhumans."  

Felicity rubbed his arm soothingly after his little speech. She had heard him defend Hawkeye on more than one occasion, multiple actually, so she was well acquainted with his speech.  

"But Black Widow's on that team. She's a normal human too." Sara challenges.  

"Ok she was pulled apart, both physically and psychologically, and then put back together by Russian spies. She was made into a deadly killing machine. I hardly think that constitutes as normal." 

"What about Iron Man? I mean he's a rich genius but he's still a normal human." 

"But they don't uses normal human Tony when they're going into battle. They use his suit, which could be operated by anyone." 

"Just drop it Sara." Tommy appears, a bag filled to the brim with comic books in his hand, 

"Oliver and I are part of the Clint Barton Defense Squad." The two guys high five.  

"The what—" 

"Sara." Felicity leaves Oliver side to stand next to the other blonde, fixing one of her icicle shaped earrings. "Trust me, just let it go. These boys are very serious about their defense squad." She giggles.  

"That's right Sara, you should listen to the Black Cat." Tommy agrees, gesturing towards Felicity's costume.  

"Oh bite me." Sara sticks her tongue out at him.  

"Jeez that's really cold Sara," Tommy pretends to shiver, "is that why you chose to cosplay as Emma Frost, because it hit so close to home?" 

"Shut it Merlyn." Sara rolls her eyes.  

"Hey be careful how you speak to Johnny Storm," Oliver butts in, "he is the human torch you know, he might just melt you." 

At Oliver's words Tommy tosses his bag on the floor and jumps into a pose as if he's really going to catch on fire and start flying.  

Oliver and Felicity attempts to hold back giggles while Sara bites her tongue. 

* * *

 

"You look like hell Smoak." 

Felicity turns away from the door. "Gee, thanks Sara. You really know how to sweet talk a girl." 

Sara sighs and closes the door behind her, following Felicity into the living room. "Hey, I am bound by my morals to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me god. Or you know Meryl Streep, same difference really." 

That earns her a half hearted smile. "I thought I was covering it up better." 

"Oh no you are, I can just see right through it." She takes note of the empty containers of take out on the counter and the blanket draped over the couch. "I can see you've been moping too." 

"Yeah well there's no hiding anything from you." Felicity fingers the hem of her blouse idly.  Sara sighs. "F, listen about the other day...I'm sorry. I—I was mean and I just, I pushed too hard. You know how I get when—" 

"Oliver said he doesn't want to be my friend anymore." Felicity blurts out.  

Sara stops and looks at the other blonde, her face softening. "Oh Felicity..." 

"And I know that's such a middle school thing to say. 'He doesn't want to be my friend anymore' oh boo hoo, right? But through everything, _that_ was the one constant with us. When Ray left, when we slept together, when things got weird or strained...I knew, in some part of my brain, I knew that at least we were still friends. At least I had that. But now..." She looks up at her friend and she just looks so _lost_. It breaks Sara's heart.  

She steps up and wraps Felicity in her arms. "I'm sorry babe." 

She hears her friend sniffle then laugh unexpectedly. Sara pulls back to look at her.  

Felicity shrugs and whips her cheek. "I didn't know my body could still produce moisture. I thought my tear ducts were all dried up." She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes.  

Sara studies her face. "You didn't tell Oliver did you?" She clarifies, "About your feelings, I mean." 

Felicity shakes her head and moves to lean on the armrest of the couch. "It don't think it would have helped matters any. It actually would have made things worse, probably." 

"You don't know that for certain." Sara reasons, following Felicity's lead and perching opposite her.  

Felicity is silent for a moment. "Ray and I went to see Father Hilton today." 

The sudden comment confuses Sara but she stays quiet, waiting for her friend to continue.  

"He asked us questions, well mostly me, I am the big Jewish mystery after all." 

Sara snorts half heartedly at Felicity's attempt at a joke.  

"...Or at least I was anyways. I don't know anymore. But he wanted to know who we were as a couple. So he asked Ray why he loved me..." She falls silent again.  

"And?" Sara prompts.  

Felicity looks up, almost startled, as if she had forgotten Sara was there. "And I realized that Ray loves the Felicity I am now while Oliver fell in love with the Felicity I was then...or at least that's what he says... But I don't think I can be any of those Felicity's completely for either of them. So what do I do? Do I march forward without a second glance backwards," she shifts her weight, "or do I embrace my past and risk getting stuck there?" 

She looks up at Sara, again her eyes convey how lost she feels. Sara shakes her head, Felicity is only seeing this situation— _and that's being generous describing this clusterfuck of a mess_ —in one light. In typical Felicity fashion, she's only thinking about what other people want and completely bypassing her own wants and needs.  

"Felicity," she places a hand on her friend's lap reassuringly, "you're neither on of those girls, not completely anyways, you're both of them. Oliver and Ray, they bring out different aspects of yourself when you are with them. You just have to figure out which version of yourself you like better, and who brings that out." 

Felicity's hand covers Sara, a small smile on her face. "I wish it were that simple." 

"Well if neither of them work out for you, you are always welcome to join my team." Sara winks at her. "You can not believe how liberating being pansexual can be." 

Felicity smiles despite her mood. "Yeah I'm sure it's a load off." She stops after her words register.  

They both burst out laughing at Felicity's unintended double meaning.  

"Now come on Smoak, let's go out for a movie and get some popcorn in us." Sara knows her friend still has a lot of thinking to do and that she's not going to take this decision lightly. But for now she wants Felicity to enjoy herself, or at least try, before reality comes crashing back down on her.

* * *

 

Thea Queen is a smart girl. Not just academically, although that is also true, but people smart. Growing up as a wealthy girl she learned early on how to assess what people wanted from her. Everybody always wanted something, money, fame, power, something. And Thea also knew the lengths that people would go to to get what they wanted, the promises they would make, the valuables they would trade, the pleas, the begs, the list went on and one. She had gotten good at being able to read the writing on the wall. She could tell when a friend would start asking for things or when a boy started wanting more. It was a gift, and Thea pried herself on using it to never be caught off guard.  

Enter Roy Harper.  

His sudden appearance in her life had been...well, just that: sudden. Thea had been on her way home from a bonfire at the beach with friends when her car broke down. She was off the side of the the road—terrified because at only sixteen she technically wasn't supposed to be driving without an adult—with steam coming out of her car when he appeared. Thea was certain he had literally materialized out of thin air. But when he had offered to help, and been successful in doing so, her trepidation left her. The strangest thing was that Roy hadn't wanted anything in return. Not money, not sex, not even courtside tickets to a basketball game, he just made sure her car was working and saw her on her way.  

Thea had reasoned that perhaps, by some miracle, he didn't recognize her. But that hope had been short lived the next day at school when she saw him in the hallway. Her curiosity peaked, she had done some research and come up pretty much empty handed. After she knew he had been going to the same school as her, she knew he must have known who she was when he helped her, how could he not? Still, he had asked for nothing in return. Nor did it seem like he was going to anytime soon. But she didn't buy the whole good Samaritan move. Thea was an expert at reading people like books, yet when it came to him she couldn't even get the front cover open.  

Needless to say she was intrigued and quickly made it her life's, at least her time left in Starling High, mission to get to know more about Roy Harper. And she had. She forced him to acknowledge her in the hallways, tracked him down at lunch—he appeared to be somewhat of a loner—and broke down the thick concrete walls he placed around himself. They went from complete strangers to friends and eventually to something more. Roy had gone from being an insolvable mystery to the one person she knew like her own name.  

So when she woke up one morning, a week after their high school graduation, to find his side of the bed empty, she had been caught off guard. For the first time since Roy had appeared in her life, Thea had been surprised by someone's actions. Roy didn't leave a note, hadn't called later to explain himself, and for all intents and purposes it was as if he had never existed in the first place. And sure Thea had been hurt but, as previously stated, Thea is a smart girl, she knew people came and went. It's a part of life. So she picked herself up, brushed herself off, and marched forward, vowing to not give Roy Harper a second thought.  

And she hadn't. Until he showed up at her place of work, almost two weeks ago, and took her by surprise. _He's always doing that._  

So now Thea is sitting on the couch in his crummy apartment kissing him. She feels his shock, his surprise at her sudden action and she revels in the fact that she has finally flipped the script on him. But his surprise is short lived as Thea feels him loosen up and start to melt into the kiss. And then Roy's returning it in full, his arms snaking up to her shoulders and pulling her closer.  

Thea smiles against his lips, she has no idea what's happened to him in the three years that he was gone, but one thing is certain, he still kisses the same. And she loves it. They kiss for a while, slowly shifting on the couch until he's half on top of her and she leaning back onto the armrest.  

"Wait," she breathes out, placing a hand on his shoulder.  

Roy stills his movements and pulls back to look at her. She almost forgets what she is going to say just looking at his eyes. They had always been a stormy green, had always been guarded, but know they're a little different. They hold more secrets now, seem more troubled. Roy had to grow up quickly for his age because of his home life but she had always seen a little bit of a childish spark in his eye, betraying his actual age. But now it's gone. Now she's looking into the eyes of a man, all traces of the boy she once knew and loved gone. It makes her sad.  

Thea reaches up a hand to caress his cheek, feeling the soft stubble he now allows to grow there. "We should talk first." 

Roy nods, face serious, before climbing off her and moving to the far end of the couch.  

"I said we should talk, I didn't tell you I have rabies." Thea says, gesturing to the exaggerated amount of space he's put between them. 

"I was talking, _you_ were the one who attack me." 

"Funny I didn't hear you complaining." 

"That's because you muffled by cries with your tongue." 

"Oh shut up Harper." Thea hurls a couch pillow at him. He catches it easily, smiling. And when his face is like that, relaxed and open, Thea can almost see the boy he was when they were together.  

"So what do you want to talk about? What we were talking about earlier?" 

"No, although your training stories are amusing. At least the ones you'll share with me." She tells him, making it clear she knows how much he's omitting.  

He moves his head to look down at his lap. Thea crawls over to him and takes his hand in hers. After spending time with him everyday after their talk at Big Belly, they had reclaimed the familiar touches that had once been second nature to them.  

"Roy," she waits until he looks up at her, "I know you're hiding things from me. And what happened to you the three years you were away, you don't owe me that. That's yours, I know that. But you haven't been completely honest about why you left and didn't tell me. I know you're holding back on me." He hangs his head in silent admission. "And I...I just can't continue whatever _this_ is between us until you tell me. I need to know." 

He's quiet for a long moment and Thea just sits and strokes his hand, knowing that he's having a battle with himself.  

"I...don't know if I can." 

"Please Roy." 

He presses his lips together and looks away.  

Thea can feel the weight of the tension settling on her shoulders. "Do you not want to tell me because you think it'll make me hate you...or see you in a different way?" 

"It's not your opinion of me I'm concerned about." He says quietly.  

"What do you mean?" 

Roy head snaps back to her and Thea can tell he didn't mean to voices those thoughts out loud, fearing they'd give too much away.  

She squeezes his hand. "Roy you have to tell me. If it's about me I have the right to know." 

He sighs, deflated and she knows she's won. But when he looks back at her, the storm in his eyes tells her she may not want this victory.  

"Fine. I'll tell you but...you're not going to like it."

* * *

  

Felicity sat in her car with the air conditioning blasting, tapping her fingers nervously against the wheel. She had been parked out here for about ten minutes but it felt like hours.  

"Trust me Felicity, it will be great. He did wonders for me, I'm sure he'll do amazing for you too. I mean you guys are friends!" Felicity imitates Ray's upbeat comments from earlier. "Yeah right." She mutters under her breath.  

The movie with Sara had helped, it made her feel a little lighter and she was able to put her mind elsewhere for a while. But then Sara had dropped her off and Ray was waiting when she got into her apartment. He had a million and one things to discuss about the wedding and about his trip to Gotham. He went on about last minute changes to the seating arrangements and how his designs had gone over with the board of directors on the research and development branch. And she was happy for him, truly she was. But his enthusiasm tired her out, more so than she already was.  

"Ok so your mother and Walter are flying in with your cousin on the 5th. And then my parents are driving up on...Felicity?" 

Her head snapped back to him and she straighten her posture, she had been slouching into the breakfast stool. "I'm sorry, what?" 

He had smiled sweetly at her, putting down the calendar and tugged on her hand. "Are you sleepy?" 

"No it's just..." She tucked her loose ends of hair behind her ear. "I'm just lacking energy today sweetie. I'm sorry." 

He had contemplated her for a moment before suggesting The Gambit.  

"What?" She had never imagined that was what would come out of his mouth.  

"Yeah," he had smiled at her, "I mean I only went once but Oliver was great. Honestly after he works you out you're going to have all this energy!" 

Felicity had to turn her head and fake a cough to mask the blush that had colored her cheeks at his words. _He had no idea..._  

Eventually Ray had wore her down, he had been very insistent about her going in for a workout. He was certain that it was what she needed and it would make her feel better. She had reluctantly agreed to humor him.  

And now the air blasting out of the vents is making her freeze, adding to her bitterness. But Felicity knows if she shuts it off it'll only be seconds before the humidity outside chokes her to death. So die of hypothermia or a heat stroke? Wow her life is just filled with impossible choices. 

Felicity isn't exactly sure why she's here. If she really wanted to fool Ray she could have easily driven somewhere and then killed time before driving back home. Or she could have told him that she went and the gym was closed today. But another lie, no matter how small, in the face of all the other lies and omissions she's given him feels like it might just be the straw that breaks the camel's back. And if she's being honest with herself, which is a rarity nowadays, she wants to see Oliver. Even if he's mad at her or hates her or, worse yet, ignores her, she just wants to see him. There's no logic to her plan of just freezing to death in the gym's parking lot but Felicity figures there's not a lot of options left for her.  

She scans the parking lot again. She doesn't see Oliver's bike but that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't here. Regardless, Felicity decides to stall—for what exactly, she doesn't know—and turns her attention to the car radio. She turns the knob until she gets a clean signal. Suddenly her car is filled with a beautiful sound and Felicity knows that distinct guitar riff. She loves this song but hasn't listen to it in ages. She hums along before the first verse starts.  

_I often tell myself that we we can be more that just friends..._  

"Oh god," Felicity grumbles, burying her face in her hands. Either she forgot or never really paid attention to the lyrics of the song before.  

_And I won't be satisfied till we're taking those vows._

 _They'll be some lovemaking, heart-breaking—_

 

"Nope. Not doing that." She quickly changes the station. She lands on a station that only ever plays top 40s songs— 

_Lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

 _Luck to have—_

 

And she quickly changes that as well. Having the sinking feeling like her car is somehow privy to her situation and trying to tell her something, Felicity finally finds a station she's never even heard of before.  

_I want to ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead_

 _I don't know how to say this—_

 

"Ok, that's it!" Huffing, she shuts off the car. _Fine, I'll go_ , she mentally tells her mini cooper. She opens and closes the door and makes her way quickly into the gym. The heat of the night disappears as she steps into the air conditioned embrace of The Gambit. She closes her eyes and tilts her head, enjoying the cool air.  

"Felicity." 

She opens her eyes to find a familiar face rounding the main desk. "Ted, hi. How are you?" 

"Good." He gives her a hug in greeting. "I haven't seen you around here in ages. What brings you by?" He looks down at his watch. "It's a little late to take Oliver out for food." 

"Oh no, I'm not...I'm not here for that." She quickly dismisses the notion.  

"Oh." 

"Yes. I'm actually here because I have some pent up tension and was looking for an outlet, my fiancé insisted on it really." 

"Uh, tall guy," Ted brings his hand up, palm face down, above his head as a visual reference, "uncoordinated, kinda goofy?" 

"Yup. Yes. That would be him." 

"Huh," Ted smiles then looks down at his watch. "Well I'd love to help you out Felicity but I was actually on my way out. It's close to closing time. But I'm sure you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like. Dig's in the back." He points toward the storage area.  

She nods. "Thanks Ted." 

"Yeah no problem." He moves to the door before turning back around. "And you should come by more often. Queen's in a better mood whenever you're around." 

Felicity gives him a tight lipped smile and then he's gone. She only manages to take a few steps further into the gym before John shows up, taping his knuckles.  

"Felicity, I wasn't expecting to see you here." 

"Hi John. Yeah, it was kinda a last minute thing." 

"He's not here you know." 

And just the way he says it, just the infliction he gives the words, she _knows_ he knows.  

"How's he been?" Felicity voices is quiet but she can tell John knows what she's really asking. 

"I would say not good but then that would be a gross understatement." 

She swallows thickly around the lump in her throat.  

"But I can see you didn't come here to talk about that," Diggle puts the tape down and folds his arms, "so what can I do you for?" 

The stance, on anyone else, would be intimidating but John's face is open and soft and Felicity can tell he's not trying to scare her.  

"I have some pent up feelings I need to express physically." 

Diggle's eyebrow twitches and she knows she just unintentionally spoke in a euphemism but she can't find it in herself to care.  

"Well then, let's throw some gloves on you." He says simply.   

They train in relative silence, apart from his instructions and pointers. Diggle doesn't push to talk about the elephant in the room and for that she's grateful. But even though this workout is successful in focusing her energy and tiring her out, Felicity still has an undercurrent of nervous energy running just beneath her skin. And whether Diggle says anything or not, she knows he can tell and it's only a matter of time before the dams break and everything comes rushing out.  

They're a hour and a half into their session when Felicity breaks the silence. She takes a step back and drops her hands.  

"So how _would_ you describe it?" 

He lowers his hands as well. "Excuse me?" 

"Oliver. If 'not good' is an understatement then what would be an accurate one?" 

John sighs and walks to the corner of the ring for his water bottle. As he sips from it generously Felicity taps her glove clad hands together nervously. Taking note of her sweat covered forehead Diggle offers the water and she graciously accepts it, balancing it between her gloves and tilting it back.  

"Do you really want to know?" He asks, taking the water back from her.  

"Yes. I mean no. Well...it's kinda killing me _not_ knowing. Though, I suppose knowing if it's bad—since I'm assuming it's not good—would probably kill me too." 

His humorless chuckle surprises her and her she looks up at him.  

"What?" 

"Nothing." 

"John, please." 

He shakes his head then sighs sadly. "This thing with you and Palmer, it's messing with his head Felicity." 

"This thing? You mean my engagement? Which he has known about for a year." 

"Well I never credited Oliver with the best timing. Though to be fair, he was under the impression that your engagement was over and not just put on hold." 

"Well that's—wait." She tilts her head at John. "How much do you know?" 

He chuckles. "Too much it seems, although not the whole story. But I know enough to see that this isn't completely one sided. Oliver's not running around making unwanted declarations." 

"It was easier when we were in college...things weren't so complicated." She muses quietly, mostly to herself. Dig responds anyways.  

"That might be so but I think you should tell him how you feel." 

Felicity looks up, quirking an eyebrow. Diggle smiles.  

"Oliver is an intelligent man and is skilled in many things. But when it comes to emotional stuff, he can be pretty obtuse. We both know that." 

She shakes her head smiling then looks down and in a quiet voice asks, "What if it makes everything worse?" 

"It might," Dig allows, surprising her, "but it has to get worse before it can get any better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mm, preach Diggle preach!  
> I swear it's getting so angsty I'm holding onto the flashbacks and B,stories for the dear life of me. Speaking of which, I apologize for the total nerdgasm that the flashback was—that's all on me  
> I wasn't actually planning to dive into the Thea/Roy backstory so much—it got out of my control but I hope you all enjoyed it :)
> 
> Tease of the week: "I'm asking as a guy who is ridiculously interested in the woman sitting in front of him."
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Leave me a prompt on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	15. To Love And To Honor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my sweeties!  
> This is a sort of complementary chapter to chapter 12. You'll see why...  
> A big thank you to the fantastic kebarrett who stepped in as beta and really saved me  
> Enjoy!

  

"I'm excited man, aren't you excited?" 

"Well I work there Tommy so I'm there everyday." 

"I know but aren't you excited for _me_ to see it?" 

Oliver rolls his eyes. "Yup, I sure am buddy." He humors his friend sarcastically. Then looking at the road adds, "You're going to make a left here." 

Tommy nods and turns the wheel accordingly.  

"I could have driven you know." 

"You could have," he allows, turning to look at Oliver, "if you had a car of your own." 

"I have my Ducati, I don't need a car." 

Tommy grins. "You're almost 30 dude, you need a car." 

" _Ow_ ," Oliver places his hand on his chest, feigning hurt, "ok we both know I'm still a couple years away from that. And it's not like you're any younger." He nudges his shoulder. Tommy only shrugs.  

"Besides, what am I going to do with a car? My bike does a perfectly good job of getting me from A to B. As far as transportation needs go, I got it covered." 

"What about going on dates?" 

"Chicks love motorcycles." Oliver says simply and Tommy has to take his eyes off the road to see the signature smirk he knows Oliver is sporting.  

He shakes his head. "Ok. But eventually you're going to have to settle down and a bike's just not going to do anymore. You're going to need a car." 

"Settling down? Where is this coming from? Are you hiding someone back in China? Did you get married or something while you were there?" Oliver jokes, jabbing him in the ribs.  

Tommy slaps him on the back of the head. "No, you idiot."  

Oliver laughs and it doesn't escape Tommy's noticed that it's the first time he's heard him laugh since he came back to Starling. He'll have to ask Oliver about his sudden mood change later... 

"But Felicity is," he says, eyes back on the road, "and soon enough someone else from our college days will be too." 

"What? You think Sara's finally going to tie the knot with Scarlett Johansson?" Oliver quips.  

Tommy barks out a laugh. "Well not that exactly..." 

"You can park right in there." 

He does as instructed and turns to Oliver before turning off the engine. "But I'm serious Ollie. Everybody's moving on with their lives, getting married, buying houses, having babies, getting rid of their bikes..." Oliver rolls his eyes, and Tommy continues, "One of these days you're going to look around and find that you want that kind of life too." 

He turns his head to face his friend. Ollie has a far away look in his eyes and a small frown etched into his mouth. Tommy's about to say something when Oliver turns around, a forced smile fixed on his face. "Let's go introduce you to everyone." 

He gets out of the car before Tommy can say another word. Shaking his head, Tommy decides to save his comments about his friend's strange behavior for later and follows him out. 

The Gambit is buzzing with activity as the two men make their way in.  

"Woah," He breathes, taking in all the fancy looking equipment and the people moving around, "Is it always this packed?" 

"No, but we have our busy days, you just happened to catch us on one." Oliver leads him further into the gym.  

To his left he notices a short redhead putting a phone back on a receiver and moving away from the front desk. "Well hello there." 

The woman looks up and Oliver quickly steps in. "Carrie, this is an old friend of mine Tommy—" 

"Merlyn," he finishes smoothly, stepping up to properly greet the woman. "It's a pleasure." 

She smiles charmingly. "Nice to meet you." 

"Carrie here is a trainer," Oliver shares a look with the redhead, "...among other things." 

"I man the phones when I don't have a class and everyone else is preoccupied," Carrie motions to the state of the gym behind her.  

"Oh what do you teach?" Tommy places his hands behind his back and leans in curiously.  

"Zumba, Women's self defense, Pilates, yoga...speaking of, I have a class in ten. I need to clock out boss." She looks up at Oliver.  

He nods. "I'll get someone to relieve you, go ahead." 

"Thanks." She throws her red curls into a bun. "It was nice meeting you Tommy." She calls over her shoulder as she grabs some mats.  

"Bye." Tommy tells her retreating figure.  

Oliver takes one look at him and shakes his head. "I wouldn't if I were you." 

Tommy looks up at him. "Why not?" 

"Let's just say she'd hit it off with Sara more than you." 

His eyebrows furrow. "She catches for the other team?" 

Oliver turns around and starts walking forward. "I didn't say that." 

"So she's bi then?" Tommy follows behind.  

"I don't know, never asked. All I know is that she's had a couple girlfriends and a boyfriend since she started working here." He stops in front of a basket that is holding mail. He starts sorting through it.  

Tommy opens his mouth, ready to continue this interrogation.  

"Oliver." 

They turn to see Diggle approach.  

He spots Tommy as he makes his way over to them. "Hey man, Oliver said you'd be coming. It's good to see you." 

"You too Dig." He smiles as they shake hands.  

Diggle turns to Oliver. "Did you get a confirmation on those new weights we ordered? Guy from the shipping company says they never left." 

Oliver sighs. "I'll talk to him. Came you cover the phones?" 

"Yeah sure." 

He turns to Tommy. "I'll be right back." 

"I'll make sure not to touch anything in the mean time." 

Oliver rolls his eyes before heading to his office in the back.  

Tommy stands in the middle of the gym, sounds of metal clanging and people grunting with extension surround him.  

"Tommy?" 

He turns to the familiar voice. "Laurel..." 

She stands before him in green and gray workout clothes with her hair in a braid. She wipes sweat from her forehead with the towel around her neck before speaking. "I didn't know you were in town." 

"Yeah, well I tried to keep a low profile when I got in." 

"What brings you back?" 

"I was invited to the wedding too Laurel." He replies, somewhat defensively.  

She shakes her head. "No of course you were!" She says quickly. "I didn't mean...I'm just surprised, that's all. It's nice to see you." 

Laurel shifts her weight awkwardly from one foot to the other. She plays with the end of her towel, refusing to look at his face. And Tommy can't help but to think back to last time he saw her. It was the night they broke up. Compared to the loud fights they had leading up to it, the break up itself was relatively quiet. They both saw it coming from a mile away but that hadn't made it hurt any less, hadn't stop tears from welling up in both of their eyes.  

Tommy wants to say something, something to let her know that two years is more than enough time to bury the hatchet. To be honest, he needs to hear it as much as she does.  

"Counselor you forgot your water bottle." 

A man comes up behind Laurel, effectively cutting off whatever Tommy was getting ready to say.  

She turns to the guy, a genuine smile on her face as she thanks him and takes the water from his hands. Then she turns back to Tommy.  

"Oh. Um, Tommy Merlyn this is Ted Grant, my trainer." 

Tommy sticks out his hand.  

"So you're Tommy? I heard about you." The man says.  

"Oh?" 

"Yeah. Boss Man mentioned that his friend was paying us a visit. Warned us to be on our best behavior." He gives Tommy a lopsided smile.  

Tommy nods mutely, not quite sure what to say.  

"Well we should probably get going." Ted says to Laurel. Tommy can see panic briefly flash across her faces as she meets his eyes.  

"We're going out for fish tacos, it's a tradition after boxing lessons." She explains hastily.  

"Yeah." Ted quickly picks up on her mood. "You're welcome to join us..." 

The invitation falls somewhat flat, doing nothing to curve Laurel's very apparent nerves. Tommy stands there awkwardly for a moment before he collects himself. "Thanks but Ollie and I are probably going to hit Big Belly soon." 

The pair nod and make their way past him. "Maybe another time then." The second the words leave her mouth Tommy can tell she regrets them. Her eyes slam shut and she might as well slap her palm to her forehead.  

"Maybe." He allows half heartedly. "It was good seeing you Laurel." 

"You too." And then she's making her way out the gym with Ted's hand on the small of her back.  

Tommy thinks back to his earlier conversation in the car with Oliver. He knows he could never go back to riding a motorcycle. He wants a car and the commitment it entails. But now seeing the woman that's just left, he finally realizes why he's never found someone to ride in that passenger's seat with him. Tommy needs to let go of her and move on with his life. He turns around and catches sight of Oliver at his desk and thinks he's not the only one having trouble moving on. But what could possibly be holding his friend back?

* * *

 

Felicity turns slowly in her desk chair, trying desperately to pay attention to the voice on the other end of the phone.  

"Did you get the gift basket?" 

"I did," Felicity spins her chair around to face her desk and the gift in question, pressing her phone between her cheek and shoulder, "it's beautiful. But really unnecessary Mike." 

He chuckles. "I know but Alice insisted and you know her. She's as stubborn as a mule." 

"I have noticed that." 

"But the gift's from me too. Felicity, I just want you to know that your upcoming wedding has really helped Alice maintain her strength and positivity during this difficult time for us. As soon as she started the chemo again, the one thing that has kept her pushing through is the thought of being able to see our son get married. And just that it happens to be to you makes it all the better. We love you like a daughter." 

Felicity tries to swallow back the lump of emotion lodged in her throat, fresh guilt washes over her in waves. She barely manages a weak, "I love the two of you like family." 

"And I can't wait to officially be able to call you my daughter." 

She goes quiet, knowing that she should be saying something but at a complete loss for words.  

Luckily Mike saves her the trouble of having to say anything. "Well I'll let you go now, I'm sure you are busy at work, just wanted to check that you got the basket." 

"Thank you again Mike, and thank Alice for me too." 

"Of course, goodbye Felicity." 

She says her goodbye and hangs up, dropping her head in her hands. She groans out loud, frustration, guilt, and exhaustion clear in the sound, as she picks her head up and pushes her hair back. The sight that awaits her when she looks back up has her shooting out of her chair.  

"Oliver?" 

He stands hesitantly at the threshold of her office, his hand lightly on the doorframe while the other is jammed into his pocket.  

"What are you doing here? I mean I'm happy to see you here..." She closes her eyes and releases a deep breath, shaking her head. _Words are not my friend today._  

"I came by to see my mom, she asked me when's the last time I came down here to 'pay my favorite IT girl a visit?'" Oliver takes a tentative step inside and she rounds her desk to face him, 

"I couldn't exactly tell her why that wouldn't be such a good idea so...here I am." 

His voice is quiet and casual but Felicity knows him well enough to detect the undercurrent of tension.  

"Well it's good that you're here, I wanted to see you." Felicity knows she shouldn't say that but the small glimmer of hope that passes through Oliver's eyes is enough to keep her from taking it back. 

Logically, she knows that saying stuff like that is only going to make it harder on the both of them. But with Oliver standing in front of her, logic kinda goes out the window. Which is why the next words out of her mouth are, "I've been thinking a lot about everything that you said..." 

Truthfully it was all she had been able to think about. Oliver stays completely still, one foot out the door the other one in her office, as she slowly takes a step towards him.  

"What I said about your timing, about you waiting to tell me—or the implication that it should have happened sooner..." Felicity takes a deep breath, the words are all jumbled in her mouth and she tries to straighten them out before speaking.  

Oliver gives her a small encouraging nod, his eyes still weary.  

She takes another breath, then tries again. "The way I made it sound...you're not the only one responsible for speaking up about your feelings. It's a two way street and I'm sorry if I made you feel like it was all on you. Because it isn't. I have to burden the blame as well because I was just as silent as you." 

His eyebrows furrow at this, the only indication that he's not a statue. She takes another step.  

"In my defense I just thought it was so cliché of me, feeding into the whole when Harry Met Sally thing. I mean men and women not being able to be friends?" She shakes her head. "That's just ridiculous and completely unfounded—" 

"Felicity," he says her name quietly, like a prayer.  

Her eyes snap back up to his. "Sorry." She mumbles, pushing her hair behind her ear. "What I'm trying to say is: I didn't tell you because I refused to let myself admit it. At first I thought for sure it would go away with time...and then when it didn't, that kind of scared me, so I just trained myself to ignoring it. You know like sensory adaptation. It's a lessened response to a consistent stimulus. It makes it so you're not consciously aware of the clothes touching your body. I mean, you know it's there, if you think about it you can feel it, but you're not feeling it all the time. And your brain does that so you're not constantly bombarded with all these sensations all the time because that would be exhausting. So that's what I tried to do with you. Because if I tricked myself into not feeling it then I wouldn't say anything and I didn't want to say anything because I was afraid to ruin everything. And I trained myself so well I actually tricked myself into believing I no longer had these feelings for you. Even though I can clearly see now that I still do. But it was recently brought to my attention that you deserve to know. And you do, so..." She wrings her hands nervously in front of her and looks back up at him to gauge his reaction, having turned her gaze downward somewhere in the midst of her babble.  

His face is blank, he looks somewhat confused. _Oh! I didn't actually say anything_ , she realizes.  

"Oliver...I love you, I have for a long time now." 

He blinks once, twice, and then her face is in his hands and his mouth is on hers. He presses his lips urgently to hers and holds her cheeks between his palms as if she's made of glass. The kiss is chaste, no teeth no tongue, but it's overwhelming. When they finally need air, Oliver barely pulls his face back, their noses still brushing.  

Felicity keeps her eyes closed, trying to gather herself. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's only going to make things that much more difficult and complicated...and painful.  

"Oliver," she's out of breath and the sound her voice makes isn't helping matters any, "I love you, I do but...that doesn't change anything. I still love Ray, I'm still marrying Ray." 

She feels his hands tense around her face as she opens her eyes to search his desperately, pleading with him to understand. "Maybe if we had been more honest, less afraid, sooner then things would be different, maybe there's a different version of this where things work out but... It's selfish of me to have these feelings for you, and to now know how you feel about me, and keep you at arm's length because I'm not strong enough to let you go." 

His expression clouds over and she wraps her fingers around his wrist.  

"I want us to be okay and I want you to be happy. But if I can only get one those things, I'd put your happiness first. And if that meant letting you go..." She swallows hard. "Oliver this isn't fair to either of us. When you said we couldn't be friends anymore...it hurt but...if that's what would make you happy, if that's what you need then..." She closes her eyes again. Her emotions are everywhere, not allowing her to form a complete sentence.  

She feels him press his forehead against hers and then he's gone.  

It takes a moment for Felicity to open her eyes but when she does not a trace of Oliver remains. The moisture on her lips is the only indication he was ever here. She runs her hands under her glasses and presses her fingers under her eyes.  

_One, two, three..._

* * *

  

"You cheated today." Laurel says, pointing accusingly with her taco.  

Ted snorts. "You're still not over that." 

"You _cheated_ ," 

"It was part of my lesson plan, I was teaching you how to stay on your toes and be ready for anything." 

"Still, there has to be some rule against that..." 

He rolls his eyes. "Not everything has laws you can look up and use to win over arguments Laurel." He teases, taking a sip of his drink.  

She shrugs casually. "Well they should." 

He chuckles and puts down his glass, turning somewhat serious. "So that guy at the gym today..." 

"Tommy?" She's surprised he's bring it up.  

"Yeah him," Ted nods, "you know him?" 

"Yes, for about as long as I've known Oliver. We all grew up together really." 

"Hmm," Ted swirls the ice in cup around with his straw, "so were you guys just friends or...?" 

Laurel stops chewing and quirks her eyebrow at him, setting her taco down before she responds. "We dated. For a while." 

"So it was serious?" He still stares very intently at his drink.  

She folds her arms over the table. "Why the Spanish Inquisition Grant?" 

He finally looks up at her and stops playing with his drink. "I'm just curious that's all. The air around the two of you seemed pretty tense when I showed up, just wanted to know if you still had feelings for the guy." 

She smirks at him. "Are you asking as Ted my friend or as Lawsuit my trainer?" 

"I'm asking as a guy who is ridiculously interested in the woman sitting in front of him." 

His response makes her blush. Looking down, she smooths out the napkin on her lap before looking back up at him. "That's a good answer." 

He smiles then, the same carefree air she's come to associate with him is back. "Think so? I found it written on a bathroom stall somewhere." 

She snorts and rolls her eyes. "You're an idiot." 

He laughs, his fingers brushing against hers on top of the table. She lets them, finding she likes it, and smiles at him from behind her glass. 

* * *

  

Oliver taps his foot impatiently in front of the elevator. He needs to get out of here, needs to escape. What he doesn't need is Felicity's words replaying in his head. Which they currently are.  

_I love you._

 _I have for a long time now._

 _

I love you, I do.  

I still love Ray. 

_ 

He grinds his teeth and shuts his eyes, willing the elevator to come faster. At the sound of the ding he breathes out his relief. But it's short lived as the doors open to reveal an infuriating looking Thea.  

"Speedy?" 

Her eyes snap up to him, and he feels like she could kill him right there in then with the furry in her eyes. "You're coming with me." She bites out at him.  

"Where?" He's confused enough to forget why he needed to run away so desperately just moments before. 

Thea breathes out impatiently and grabs him by the arm, pulling him into the elevator with her. She presses the button for the top floor angrily.  

"Thea, what's going on?" 

She crosses her arms, gazing straight ahead. "You'll see."  

When the door opens to the executive floor Thea storms out and down the hallway. Oliver follows quickly behind her. She rounds the corner to their father's glass office.  

"You!" She points accusingly at Robert Queen through the wall of his office.  

He looks up from his desk as Thea darts past his assistant, not giving her a single glance. Oliver gives her an apologetic look as he hurries behind his sister.  

She barges into their father's office and Oliver barely has time to close the door behind him before Thea pounces.  

"I can't believe you!" She throws at Robert as he gets up from behind his desk, clearly getting ready to physically hold her back if need be.  

"Thea—" 

She cuts him off, spinning around to jab Oliver in the chest. "And you!" 

"Speedy what are—" 

"Don't ' _Speedy_ ' me!" She snaps, crossing her arms and angling herself to see both men. "I can't believe you, the two of you!" 

"Sweetheart," their father pleads, "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"Oh you're sure, are you?" She mocks. "Bullshit." 

"Thea—" Oliver warns but her eyes throw daggers at him.  

"Don't pretend like you're not part of this too Ollie." 

"Part of what?" He asks, exasperated.  

"Part of getting rid of Roy." 

The beat of uncomfortable silence that follows her accusation is all the confirmation she needs.  

"I knew it!" 

"Thea—" Robert tries. 

"How could you?" She takes a step toward his desk, her arms still crossed, "Or better yet, what gave you the right?" 

"You are my daughter and I was trying to protect you." 

"Protect me!" She almost laughs, "From what exactly?" 

Robert stands tall as he answers with total confidence. "From heartbreak." 

Thea's expression darkens. "I think you sort of caused it, not prevented it." 

"You would have had your heart broken because of that boy." Robert states matter-of-factly. 

Thea takes another step forward and Oliver stands frozen by the door, watching it all unfold.  

"And what makes you so sure?" 

"Because eventually, after some time, after you were done playing house, you would have woken up from your delusion and realized something I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him." 

"Oh. And what's that?" She mockingly asks.  

"That he couldn't offer you anything." 

Her eyes widen, clearly not expecting that answer. And she takes a step back as she process that before her rage returns full force. " _That's_ what this was about? Money." 

"Thea you deserve, and have gotten accustomed to, a certain way of life and—" 

"And I don't need a man for that. _I_ can provide for myself just fine." 

He clasps his hands together in front of him, the picture of ease. "So he could live off you and the family name?" 

"The family..." Thea throws her hands up, her eyes to the sky. "So _this_ is what it's about. The precious Queen family name, can't tarnish that oh no sir." 

"Thea this is serious." 

"No dad this is my life." She slams her hand down on the desk causing Oliver to move forward. "You ruined my life." 

"Oh please Thea, let's not be so childish. I did not ruin your life, you were 17, you didn't know what you wanted." 

"Oh, but you did?" She asks him challenging.  

"I knew that you would come to regret your decision." 

She scoffs. "Then clearly you don't know me at all. What you don't seem to understand is that I wasn't with Roy for financial stability. I was with Roy because I love him." 

Her use of the present tense isn't lost on anyone in the room.  

"Thea," Oliver takes another step forward with his hands out in surrender, hoping to defuse the situation.  

But she turns to him with fire in her eyes. "You. You were in on this?" Her voice is low and dangerous but there's hurt beneath it.  

"I only wanted to protect you." 

"By lying to me? By manipulating me? By keeping me from him?" 

"I thought it was the right thing." 

She shakes her head and smiles humorlessly. "You know Ollie you've done some pretty hurtful and reckless things before but this? This is unforgivable." 

Oliver stands before her, not quite sure what to say.  

"Thea, sweetheart..." Robert tries again but she's having none of it.  

"No." She says, her voice ringing with finality. "No more 'sweetheart', no more 'speedy', no more anything. I am ashamed to call myself a daughter and a sister. I'm done." Father and son share a worried, perplex look at her words.  

"I don't want to hear from you. Either of you." And with that she storms off, just as quickly as she came in, a blur of sequence and brown hair. 

* * *

  

"Happy birthday Felicity!" Sara slurs happily.  

Felicity can't help but smile. "Is that why you wanted to celebrate during happy hour?" She teases.  

Sara just smiles, wrapping her lips around her straw and slurping her margarita happily.  Now that Felicity is officially 21, Sara convinced her that they should celebrate at a resultant and order as many drinks as possible. She had just rolled her eyes but complied, knowing it was probably the last birthday they would be able to spend together.  

"Yeah Sara, I thought the point of unlimited drinks was for the birthday girl, not for you." John admonishes lightly from Felicity's side.  

She was happy she had gotten to known John, he was wise and kind and caring. He was basically the older brother Felicity never had. She was glad she had met him through Oliver. 

_Speaking of..._  

"Tommy, where's your partner in crime?" 

He turns around at Felicity's question and looks down at his watch. "I don't know...fashionably late as always I'm presuming." He grins. She nods.  

Sara leans toward him, her drink still firmly in hand. "If he's later than you then doesn't that make him the more fashionable one?" At his quirked eyebrow Sara leans back, smiling, "I'm just saying, you gotta step up your game Merlyn." 

Tommy narrows his eyes at her before clicking his tongue. "You do know that drinking to excess isn't an army requirement right?" 

"Whatever," she shrugs happily.  

"Hi everybody, sorry I'm late!" Oliver walks in then, a blue crisp suit on and presents littering his arms. He sets them down with the rest under the table they're currently occupying.  Felicity smiles brightly and gets up from her chair to greet him. "It wouldn't be you if you weren't." She teases lightly before she's wrapped in his arms.  

"Happy birthday," he whispers against her hair.  

It's something curious about Oliver hugs, she notices, they always make her feel lighter.  

"Hello." 

Of course that lightness only lasts for so long as she opens her eyes to see the brunette that walks up behind Oliver.  

"Helena..." She releases Oliver and takes a step back as he goes to wrap his arm around the woman in question.  

"I hope this is okay, I didn't want to intrude but Ollie invited me." 

"Ollie?" She turns her questioning eyes to him.  

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Yes. Ollie. She heard Tommy call me that once and unfortunately it stuck." 

"That's because it's adorable. Just like you." Helena holds his chin and pecks him lightly on the lips.  

Felicity turns away from the display of affection, feeling like a Peeping Tom.  

Tommy jumps up from the table to embrace the pair. "Helena, good to see you!" 

"Likewise Tommy," she smiles all cool and suave.  

"I thought it would be good to have Helena spend more time with the group." Oliver says by way of explanation.  

"Try to integrate her into the gang, I like it." 

He just smiles as Tommy leads Helena to the table.  

"I hope it's okay that I brought her," Oliver whispers, stepping closer to Felicity and holding her elbow, "if not I could always..." 

"No. Of course it's okay." She says quickly and shakes her head. They turn to see Helena shake hands with everyone around the table and kiss them on the cheek.  

She had been in one of Tommy's business classes and had met Oliver at Tommy's graduation. Felicity hadn't thought much of the meeting until two weeks later when Helena had shown up in Starling City. She and Oliver had hit it off instantly and had been pretty inseparable since. But bringing a girl to a personal celebration like this... 

"Things must be getting pretty serious, huh?" Felicity voices her thoughts.  

"Yeah...I think so. I want them to be." 

"Well that's very mature of you Oliver." She says, a small smile in her voice.  

He turns to her, completely serious as if seeking her approval. "You think so?" 

She puts a hand on his shoulder. "Yes. And I am very happy for you." 

He gives her a small lopsided smile and she pats his chest before returning to the table.  

"You just missed it!" Sara exclaims the second her and Oliver take their seats. Her between Tommy and Diggle, him between Lyla and Helena.  

"Missed what?" Felicity asks.  

"We have a hot waiter!" She wiggles her eyebrows over the rim of her drink. "You can slip him your digits." 

Felicity snorts. "Yeah. I'm not going to do that." 

"Why not? Are you finally going to take Mr. Palmer up on his offer?" Sara's eyebrows don't cease their wiggling.  

Oliver's attention snaps to her at that, his eyebrows furrow. "That guy you met at the technology charity thing?" 

"You met somebody?" Tommy's ears perk up.  

"Not just anybody," Sara speaks up before Felicity can say a word, "a _doctor Ray Palmer._ " 

"A doctor?" Lyla asks, impressed.  

"Not like that kind of doctor," Felicity corrects quickly before turning to glare at Sara. "And I think you've had enough margaritas for today." 

"Um excuse me, I am going to be fighting for the rights and freedom of this country," she states, sounding more sober than possible after consuming so much alcohol, "chief among them being the right to drink as much as I please." 

"I'll drink to that!" Tommy cheers and they clink glasses.  

Felicity rolls her eyes and takes her phone out of her purse.  

The "hot waiter" comes around to collect drink and food orders while her phone sits on her lap.  

She watches the people around the table laughing and joking, her friends, but her eyes keep coming back to Oliver and Helena. It's not that she hadn't ever seen him with other women, she had plenty of times, it was that she has never seen him in a relationship. He looks happy in one. He looks good at it.  

_Come on Smoak, snap out of it._ Sara was right, since she had settled in Starling City she had been so preoccupied with working and spending as much time with her little group before Tommy and Sara left that she hadn't had any time for anyone special in her life. And who knows, maybe Ray Palmer could be that someone special. If Oliver had found his then she deserved to find hers.  

And with that thought Felicity opens up her phone and sends a text.  

_You made a compelling argument about taking me out to dinner. I'm sold._  

Ray's response comes almost immediately.  

_Perfect! How does Friday at 8 sound?_

* * *

  

Oliver sits hunched over in his chair, trying to tune the rest of the world out. Jitter's seemed like the best option after Thea had confronted him and their dad at the office. He can see now how much their meddling in her life had hurt and upset her but upon returning to Starling City, after his graduation, it had seem like the right thing to do. Thea was impulsive, and to some degree still is now, she would have thrown herself into a real relationship with that boy and wouldn't have even thought about the consequences. He loved her but she was still naive and too optimistic to not get hurt, he had truly thought he was protecting her from heartbreak at the time. But, as she so wisely had pointed out at the office, he had inadvertently become the cause of the heartbreak. Go figure.  

"Out of all the gin joints in all the towns..." 

Oliver turns around to find Iris West walking up behind him, coffee pot in hand. She winces at her own words, scrunching her nose. "Sorry, that was cheesy." 

Oliver smiles despite himself. "No it's fine." 

"It's just that you seem like you can use cheesy, you look pretty broody." 

"Broody?" Oliver quirks an eyebrow at her as she comes to stand on the opposite side of the small round table.  

"Yes. Broody. I think it's a very apt description for your face currently and overall demeanor really." 

"I see," he nods his head slowly, "do I usually brood around the building?" 

Iris thinks about this for a moment. "No...whenever I see you in the hallways or elevator you're definitely pensive but not broody." 

"My sister would disagree with you." 

She rests her elbows on the table. "Is that what's wrong? Family troubles?" She seems sincere. He looks up at her questioning so she rushes to explain. "I'm sorry it's just that I can smell when there's a story nearby." 

"Right. Journalism major." He remembers.  

"I know that if I really wanted to play therapist and listen to people's problems I should have been a bartender," she shrugs, leaning further into the table, "but it wouldn't hurt to talk about it either way." 

Oliver considers this for a moment before he releases a deep breath. "My sister recently found out that I...meddled in her life a few years back. I had kept her from seeing this boy she really liked and at the time she thought he just left but then she discovered I had a hand in it." 

"Ooh." Iris purses her lips and Oliver huffs out a small laugh at the expression on her face.  

"Needless to say she wants nothing to do with me right now." 

"Well that's a tough one." Iris straightens before crossing her ankles and leaning the entire right side of her body against the table.  

"I am realizing that." Oliver stares down at his coffee.  

"I'm not gonna sugarcoat it for you. She's gonna be mad for a while, she has reason to be. But she will forgive you and she'll let you back into her life and then, after some time, it'll be like it never happened in the first place." 

"You didn't see how mad she was." 

"No, I didn't," Iris sighs, "but I can imagine. Trust me—I've been in her shoes before. And what allowed me to get over it, what kept me from staying mad at my dad, is that I realized that family is precious. And it's love, despite everything, that makes it precious." 

Oliver looks up her.  

"I met your sister once. She seems like a very smart girl, she's figure out that she only has one brother so she's force to put up with you." Iris smiles and Oliver finds himself believing her.  "You seem to know a lot about this stuff." 

She sighs. "I do. I've gone through it plenty of times with my dad. Who's now more of a child than anything else. Did you know that he spies on your friend through his window?" 

"Felicity?" His surprise keeps the name from lodging in his throat.  

"Yes. She's such a sweetheart and puts up with him but I keep telling him one of these days it's going to get him in trouble." 

Oliver thinks back to that morning when he was leaving Felicity's apartment. He saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. A curtain...Mr. West's curtain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Props to the person that commented, a few chapters back, with their theory on why Roy left, very well done.  
> Someone had asked a little while back what Felicity's mindset, in terms of Oliver, was when she met Ray, I hope this sort of answers that.  
> And to the person who commented that Felicity would probably blab when she told Oliver how she felt, you were right. She did blab...a lot  
> Are you all frustrated? So am I. But now Felicity has made a choice, of sorts, let's see how long that lasts...
> 
> Tease of the week: "I miss you too, my little canary."
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Leave me a prompt on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	16. I Promise To Be Faithful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody!  
> I missed you guys the last couple of weeks but I was using the time to restructure some of the story. You have been heard loud and clear and have basically confirmed what I was already thinking so I tweaked my timeline and deleted what was supposed to be chapter 16 because it was taking a lot away without adding much of anything. I thank and love you guys for all the feedback, it's been so passionate and just really showed me how invested all you guys are in this story and it's characters. I couldn't be more grateful.  
> When I created this story is was supposed to be a journey of self discovery for Felicity, for her to fall from grace and then redeem herself and now that that's done I can begin to move to the next steps of storytelling.  
> Because I deleted a chapter leading up to this, this one is really long and has a bit of Thea.  
> Lots of fun stuff and cool interactions in this chapter and the next one will be a major turning point and change the course of these characters so I hope you like it  
> And continue to be honest with me :)  
> Completely unbetaed so all mistakes are mine  
> Enjoy!

Thea's fork scrapes the bottom of the bowl and she looks down to see that there's no more left. 

"Finished so soon?" Roy asks, coming out of the kitchen with his own bowl. 

She smiles up at him. "Yup. Has anyone ever told you that you make the best mac and cheese ever?" 

He grins at her, taking a seat next to her on his small couch. "Well I'm glad you like it because it's the only thing I know how to make. It's either this, burnt toast, or ice." 

Thea sets down her bowl on his coffee table and crawls over closer to him. "Don't be so hard on yourself," she tells him, settling down right at his side, "your ice's not that great." She grins cheekily. 

"Thanks." Roy replies dryly. 

She kisses him on the corner of his mouth. "Anytime. Your know I'm always here to support you." 

"Speaking of support..." He turns to face her. "Have you talked to your family yet?" 

Her smile vanishes and she slumps back into the couch. "Wow Roy, your transitions are getting even smoother." 

"Thea it's been a week, maybe you should hear them out." He suggests lightly. 

She crosses her arms, sinking further into the cushion. "Well they lied to me for two years so I'm sure a week of silent treatment won't kill them. Not that that's nearly long enough considering..." 

Roy sets down his bowl and places a hand on her knee. "Thea..." 

"I don't get it," she tells him, sitting up, "how are you not mad? They practically forced you to enlist." 

He sighs, running a hand down his face. "I know...but ultimately I was the one who signed the dotted line." 

"Because they made it sound so enticing they practically gave you no other choice." 

"But they were right..." At Thea's quirked brow he elaborates. "I wasn't going to get into a good college and I wasn't going to get out of this neighborhood, the army was the smartest thing to do." 

"They didn't let you say goodbye to me," she holds his face between her hands, "those two years were stolen from us. I may have never seen you again, I may have never forgiven you..." 

"But you did," he places his hands over hers, "you did." He assures her. 

Thea looks into his eyes before shaking her head and leaning back, letting go of his face. 

"Yeah, no thanks to my father. Or my brother." 

"You're going to have to forgive them eventually." 

With her arms still crossed she looks up at him. "You know you say that as if I don't have a choice. But I do. And I choose to stay mad at them...indefinitely." She turns forward to stare at the TV where Molly Ringwald is dancing. 

Roy sighs and grabs her hands, reclaiming her attention. "You know if my mom were still alive—" 

"No." Thea sits up abruptly. "You do not get to play the dead mom card with me." 

He holds up his hands in surrender. "Fine. Just saying." 

Thea eyes him dubiously as he picks up his bowl and leans into the couch, opening his arm to accommodate her. She leans into his side, tucking her head under his chin. 

"We won't talk about it anymore," he promises, "let's just watch the Breakfast Club."

* * *

"You used to love that, you know?" Moira says, motioning to the dish in Oliver's hand before turning around to place a glass on the top cabinet. 

He was spending the day at the Queen Mansion with his mother at her insistence. "You know Oliver you can't just show up to a single brunch every 8 months and expect that to be adequate bonding time with the family." She had scolded over the phone once she reached him. Which is how he finds himself in the kitchen drying off dishes. 

He nods. "Yes that was before I understood it was a chore." 

"You were never any good at it." She teases lightly, taking a plate from his hands and running her own towel over it before putting it away. 

He shakes his head, chuckling. 

"Thank you for coming to have lunch with the family darling." 

"It's not like you gave me much of a choice in the matter," Oliver says, leaning against the sink, "besides I hardly consider this a family lunch." 

"Yes, well your father couldn't join us because he's tied up at work and your sister..." Moira looks down, letting her sentence drift off. 

"Is still not talking to any of us." He finishes quietly. 

Moira looks up at him, nodding solemnly. "With things like this it's best to give your sister time. She has a right to be angry but she'll get over it." 

"What makes you so sure?" 

His mom halts her movement and turns to him slowly, setting the towel on the countertop. "Because love makes you do crazy things. And soon Thea will see that it was Robert's love for her that drove him to get rid of that boy." She turns to him then. "But you know all about that, you've done some crazy things for love." 

Oliver frowns at her. "I'm not sure I follow." 

Moira turns around to turn on the facet, rinsing a cup. She speaks casually over her shoulder. 

"For Felicity I mean." 

His heart skips to a stop. "Excuse me?" 

She looks over at him. "You love her." She says simply. 

At his astounded look she smiles at him. 

"What? You thought I didn't know? You're my son, Oliver, I've always known. I could see it, the first time you brought her over. Of course when you and Helena started to get serious I thought maybe I was wrong..." Moira shakes her head, "but then I saw the two of you kissing in her office the other week and I was certain." 

"You saw that...?" He rubs the back of his neck, somewhat embarrassed. 

"There's nothing that goes on in that building that I am not aware of." She says, sounding like the business woman she is before lowering her voice. "And the walls _are_ made of glass." 

Oliver nods. "Right. I forgot about that for a moment." 

Moira peers at him then shuts off the water. She dries her hands completely before turning to him fully and crossing her arms over her chest. 

"I can see that your feelings for her aren't unrequited." She says carefully, taking a step towards him. "And I can see that there's something real between the two of you. So why is she marrying a different man?" 

Oliver sighs heavily. This is not a discussion he was expecting to have with his mother. 

"It's...difficult to explain." 

"The things that matter usually are." She smiles, placing a hand on his arm. "But can I tell you something?" 

He waits quietly, knowing it's not really a question. 

"It's no secret that your father and I don't love each other. At least not the way we thought we did when we first got married. But we stayed married and started a family. And after all these years we're still together." She cups his cheek lightly. "Don't get me wrong, the day you and Thea were born were the greatest days of my life. The two of you are the best things to have ever happened to me. But I didn't have to stay with your father. I did because it was the way I was raised, it's tradition, and because I meant what I said when I promised forever—even if it's not the forever I had envisioned." 

Moira falls quiet then and takes a step back, seeming lost in her own thoughts. Oliver reaches out to touch her elbow gently. 

"Mom..?" 

Her eyes snap back to his and she's found herself again. "In all the years that I've known Felicity, she reminds me of myself in that way. She sticks to her word. Once she marries Dr. Palmer she won't divorce. She'll force herself to make it work, convince herself that she's happy. Because she made a promise and Felicity's the type of person to keep her promises." 

Oliver looks down at his shoes, not quite sure what to say to that. 

"She's a good girl Oliver." Moira says, her attention back on the dishes. "And you deserve to be happy. If you think she can do that for you..." She lifts a shoulder in an elegant shrug, "then it's worth a shot. And if not, then I would get out of _whatever_ situation you're in with her now. For your own good." 

She turns the water back on, signaling the end of the conversation.

* * *

Thea has truly outdone herself. It's the first thought Oliver has as he walks into Verdant. The club, now completely remodeled and fully furnished, buzzes with activity. There are waiters and servers all around, carrying trays of champagne and various different appetizers. Lights bounce off the walls and floor, but to keep it from having too much of a club feel the lights are only white, lavender, and baby blue. _The colors of the weeding_ , Oliver notes as he descends the stairs. 

A big dance floor, surrounded by a clutter of dinning tables, dominates the lower level. Bodies are crowded on the dance floor, seated at the tables, or milling about appreciating the flower streamers and light show. Like Oliver said: Thea really outdid herself. 

"Our little girl is all grown up, huh?" Tommy clasps a hand on his back, appearing next to him on the stairs. 

Oliver tilts his head to be heard over the music and the chatter. "Felicity or Thea?" 

Tommy looks pensive for a moment before shrugging. "Both I guess. Speaking of your sister, have you seen her lately? She's been bouncing around playing hostess with the mostest but I haven't been able to flag her down to tell her what am amazing job she's done here," he takes a moment to appreciate the venue. "You know between the two of you, the Queen siblings might single handedly revive the Glades." 

Oliver's jaw tightens at the thought of his sister, with whom he hasn't heard a word from in over a week besides a voicemail from her assistant— _since when does she have one of those?_ —asking for a confirmation on whether or not he was attending the rehearsal dinner. 

So now he's here—and as little as he knows about rehearsal dinners, he isn't sure that _this_ exactly qualifies—but, like Tommy, he hasn't had any luck in spotting his sister for more than a few seconds. 

"I haven't seen her but I'll be sure to let her know." 

Tommy nods and then seems to spot something on the floor below. "I'll catch you later alright Ollie?" 

"Sure thing buddy." 

And then Tommy's making his way down the stairs. Oliver decides he can only stand at the top of the stairs for so long before he has to make his way down and face the music, literally. There's no really good reason why Oliver is here right now. He knows that if he hadn't shown up Felicity would have understood perfectly and covered for him, said something about a stomach bug or some emergency at The Gambit. And he knows she would do the same for the wedding if he chose not to show. Something which he is not quite sure if he will or not. But knowing that, he still came anyways. And yes, part of it is because of the responsibility he feels to Thea, to show support of her business even though she's not speaking to him at the moment, and to Tommy, to be there for him throughout what will no doubt be numerous awkward encounters with Laurel, and yes a little to Felicity. Because despite where their relationship stands and what he said or she said, they still have over 5 years of friendship behind them and a couple nights and confessions can't wipe that away. Not completely. 

So he finds his table, an elegant little round one with the name plate reading _Mr. Queen_ , in a fancy font, and leans against it, casting his eyes towards the dance floor. He finally spots Thea in a shimmering orange dress as she smiles and makes small talk with the guests on the other side of the room. And the way she is working the room, one would think that she was the one getting married. At that very moment a young man comes up behind her and wraps an arm around her waist, nuzzling his head into her neck. She laughs and excuses herself before turning in the young man's arms. 

Oliver recognizes him to be Roy, the boy he and his father had deemed "not enough" for Thea. And back then, looking at their interactions, Oliver could see that it was puppy love. And he knew that although Thea would hurt for a little bit, she would eventually move on. And she had, she moved out of their parent's house and made this dump in the Glades into a magnificent nightclub. Because of her fortitude and her strong mindedness, he had assumed that she hadn't ever given this boy a second thought. But it's clear to him now, watching his little sister and Roy, that he underestimated their feelings for one another. She didn't move on, and neither had he, they had simply been put on pause. And after all these years they can still pick up where they left off. 

So now Oliver feels bad, truly bad, for denying Thea the two years of happiness that she obviously would have had with this boy. And screw her not talking to him or wanting to hear from him because he needs to apologizes, he needs to make things right between them, he needs to at least try. 

He starts to get up before he feels a hand on his shoulder and turns around to see Ray Palmer right behind him. 

"Felicity told me everything." 

Oliver's entire body goes still at Palmer's words. 

The man says it so casually and Oliver feels like his throat is align with lead. He has to clear it a couple times before he manages to say something in return. 

"What?" Well it's not exactly eloquent but as far as responses go it's the best he can manage under the circumstances. 

Ray just nods and moves around him until they are facing each other, cutting off Oliver's view of Thea. "It's okay, I know." 

Oliver continues to eye him suspiciously. "And what exactly is it that you know?" 

Ray smiles then and rests his elbow on the table, bringing him more eye level to Oliver. "You're a good friend man, you're loyal. I like that, I'm glad she has that in her life." He turns his head and Oliver follows his gaze to Felicity. She's by the bar with Sara at her side and they're talking to a woman in a wheelchair, Ray's mom. Felicity starts laughing at something the older woman said, her face breaks out in a smile and her eyes alight with mirth. 

"I know I'm haven't always been there for her, not that way that I've wanted to, not the way that she's needed me to." He brings his attention back to Oliver, who is still not sure exactly where this is going. "So I'm glad that she has you when I can't be there for her." 

Oliver nods very slowly, cautious and confused. 

Ray leans further into the table, looking very much at ease. "You know when she first introduced me to you...I was a little intimidated by the connection the two of you share. After knowing Sara and meeting Tommy the other night, I can see that all of you are very close, but the two of you in particular..." he straightens then, fixing his tie, "So it should come as no surprise that she confided in you. And I have to thank you, you haven't once made me feel ashamed for what I did and you haven't encouraged Felicity to be distrustful of me. It's clear you've been her confidant throughout this whole thing but I really do want to thank you for not holding it over my head." 

Oliver gives him a look of total confusion and Palmer just chuckles. 

"Please Oliver, I am very embarrassed by it but you don't have to pretend. Felicity told me that you know all about the...the freak out I had when I left and called off the wedding." Oliver visually slumps, air leaving him all at once. _Oh_. "That." 

"Yes that, I know you must think me a lesser man for running away from such a woman," Ray turns back to glance at Felicity, "and maybe I am. But I will proudly spend the rest of my life changing her mind." He turns forward again. "And yours." 

Oliver clears his throat, "There's really no need Ray." 

"But there is!" The man insists urgently. "Your opinion is important to her, and she's important to me. So whatever you think of me is important too. Which is why I want you to know that you won't be loosing your best friend in the move." 

"Excuse me?" 

"Surely Felicity told you about the opportunity that has arisen for me at Wayne Enterprises." 

Oliver looks away. "She did mention something..." 

"So I want you to know that us being on the other side of the country won't change anything for you guys. I'll make sure we come to visit as often as possible. I'm hoping to strike a deal with the executives over there so the need for me to be in Gotham will only last a couple years. But in the meantime I'll make sure we get a place that's big enough for you to stay over whenever you'd like. I mean I know it's not ideal with your gym being all the way over here but what's the point of being your own boss if—" 

"Ray." He has to cut off the man. Jesus, he had never met someone who's ramblings could compete with Felicity. _I should check to make sure her and Palmer aren't related._ He shakes off the thought. 

"Sorry." Ray smiles meekly before putting his hand out. "But as I said before I'm just really glad that she has a friend like you. It makes me feel better knowing that she has you whenever I'm not available." 

Oliver looks down at the hand. Ray really has a way of making one's guilt rise to the surface. And while Oliver never thought that what he and Felicity did was exactly _right_ , he had never felt guilty about it, up until this moment. He looks up at Ray, his open ernest face, and he almost feels bad for him. 

Now while Oliver didn't necessarily agree with the way Felicity handled things between them, he did respect her enough to respect her choice. And she had chosen to let him go in favor of Ray, so obviously the man had earn that somehow. Which means that Oliver is going to respect that as well and attempt to let her go. 

"Of course." He shakes Ray's hand and the man smiles at him. He isn't going to be visiting the couple in Gotham, of that much he's sure of, but Ray doesn't have to know that yet. Distance has a way of putting a strain on relationships so it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility for Oliver and Felicity, after some time across the country from one another, to lose touch. But his stomach churns at the thought, so he decides to save those musings for later...or, who knows, never. 

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk to my sister." 

"Right of course, go ahead. I already thanked for doing all of this but thank her again for me?" 

Oliver nods once and then he's off.

* * *

"Your mother-in-law is quite the firecracker, are you sure she's 55?" Sara leans to her side, whispering conspicuously. 

Felicity smiles into her glass. "She's quite something alright..." 

Sara snorts. "I'll say, god I would have loved to have known Alice back in the day when she was kicking. I bet she partied hard." 

"Okay, let's not talk about your weird crush on my mother-in-law to be." Felicity snickers. 

The alcohol is doing a good job at calming her. Her mother and Walter had flown in with Barry earlier in the week and Tatsu, her college roommate, had just arrived yesterday. Even Eddie, her old friend from Vegas, had managed to come down and surprise her. She's juggling a lot at the moment. 

"Is she going to be alright?" 

Felicity sighs heavily. "Her body's been fighting the chemo. But Mike says the wedding has given her an incentive to keep going and fighting..." 

Sara rests a hand on her shoulder. Felicity shakes her head sadly. 

"But I don't want to talk about that either." 

"Fine." Sara sets her glass down on the edge of the bar. "Let's talk about why you were so distracted while Alice was telling her _awesome_ Led Zeppelin story." 

"I wasn't distracted." 

"Yes you were! You were staring at Oliver talking to Ray the entire time." 

"No I wasn't," Felicity defends weakly. 

Sara gives her a pointed look. Felicity takes a sip of her drink. 

"Felicity you can fool your fiancé, you can fool your in-laws, hell you can even fool yourself. But you can't fool me." 

"I'm not trying to fool anyone," Felicity cradles her drink close to her chest, "I told you, I've let him go." 

"Yeah that's another thing I've been meaning to ask you about. What the hell does that even mean, 'let him go'?" Sara asks, placing her hand flat on the bar and the other on her hip. 

"It means that I'm putting an end to...whatever it is we were doing. It was only ever going to blow up in our faces and hurt everyone." 

"So you're giving up everything you and Oliver have, including your five years of friendship, because you think that you were going to end up hurting other people? Is that what you're saying? Am I getting that right?" She asks facetiously. 

"You know what? I don't want to talk about this right now." Felicity sits her glass next to Sara's. "What I want to talk about is why you left me _alone_ the other night to have one of the most awkward dinners of my life? I mean what Skype call could be so important that you had to ditch me?" 

The other blonde's demeanor instantly changes. "You're trying to distract me in order change the subject Smoak." She accuses. 

"I'm not trying to distract you. But I think _she_ might." Felicity points to the entrance of the club. 

She watches as Sara's turns around slowly and her whole body shifts. "Nyssa?" She spins back to Felicity. "How in the—you brought Nyssa?" 

Felicity nods. "Oliver flew her down. We arranged it a while back. She was more than happy to be your plus one." 

"I..." Sara looks flabbergasted, it's the first time Felicity has seen her even remotely lose her cool. She watches in fascination as Sara messes with her hair and checks her teeth in the reflection of her glass as the woman approaches. 

"Hello my little canary." Nyssa smirks, her voice like velvet. 

Sara almost looks... _shy_? Felicity sniffles her giggles behind her own glass. "Hi Nyssa." 

"Surprised?" 

Sara huffs out a breathy little laugh. "You can say that." 

The beautiful woman turns her attention to Felicity. "Thank you for doing this." 

"Of course, Sara's my best friend. You should also thank Oliver," she turns to look at the table in which he and Ray were talking, but it's now empty, "...when you see him." 

Nyssa nods. "I will." 

Sara looks simply over the moon as she accepts Nyssa's invitation to dance. Felicity watches as the pair walk off and she's happy to see that her friend has found love in the midst of a battlefield.

* * *

Thea is laughing when Oliver reaches her, her faces immediately goes sour when she sees him. She turns away and makes a move to leave but he reaches out and grasps her elbow, stoping her escape. 

"I thought I made it pretty clear that I didn't want to talk." She spits out and Oliver can see the week and a half of radio silence has done nothing to ease her hurt, she's still mad at him. 

"I know. You don't have to talk, just listen." 

"I said I didn't want to hear from you either." She grits out. 

Oliver holds her steady while she fights against his grip. She may be small, but she has a fire. He's always known that, even when they were kids. It was that fire that assured she got everything she wanted when she was a little bratty girl. It was that fire that empowered her to walk the halls of school with her head held high while kids would tease her about her wealth. It was that fire that encouraged her to build a nightclub in the middle of a dying neighborhood despite everyone's advice against it. And right now that fire is directed at him. 

"Please Thea. Don't make a scene. Just hear me out. Then you can go back to shutting me out, I won't do anything about it." 

She continues to pull against his grip while she considers her offer, then she stops. The fire cooling down to a shimmer before his eyes. She crosses her arms over her chest, signaling that he has her begrudging attention, for now. 

"Look, I now that you're really pissed with me and dad right now, and you have the right to be because what we did...was stupid and unfair to you, but mom had nothing to do with it. You shouldn't shut her out too because she wasn't part of it." 

He sees Thea shift her stance in surprise, clearly not expecting him to bring up Moira. 

"And I also want you to know that I am sorry for what I did. At the time, honest to god, I thought it was the right move. But now...seeing you and Roy together...I can see how wrong I was before." 

She arches a brow, suspicious. 

"I'm serious," he insists, "I'm just happy you two were able to work things out. And if, in those two years, he would have made you even a tenth of how happy you are with him now, then I would have never done it." 

"Ok now you're just saying what you think I want to hear." She turns to leave. 

Oliver quickly steps into her path. "I'm telling the truth Thea, whether you believe me or not. I know what it's like to feel like you were cheated, like you were robed of the opportunity to be with the one you love..." He can't help his gaze from falling on Felicity who is at the bar talking to Cisco. 

"And what would you know about that?" Thea questions, unconvinced. 

He brings his attention back to her. "More than you think." He says, his voice ringing with sincerity, "And I never meant to do that to you." Thea eyes him for a moment, her face hard in its conviction to stay mad at him. "Is that it? 

Because there's a party I have to get back to hosting." 

Oliver takes a deep breath and moves out of her way. "Yeah, that's it. Just...just don't punish mom for something that isn't her fault." 

Her sister nods stiffly once then brushes past him, disappearing into the sea of people.

* * *

"Mrs. Smoak, it should be illegal to look that good in a dress." 

"Well you would know all about criminal activity now, wouldn't you Quentin?" Donna blushes as she gets on her tippy toes to wrap her arms around the man. "And it's Smoak-Steele now." She corrects him, smiling. 

"Right. I forgot you hyphenated." He says in that rough voices of his. 

"Why? Do I not seem like the type?" Donna bats her eyelashes at him and he smiles. 

The pair had met through their kids when Sara and Felicity had become good friends while going to school in Boston. Their paths had crossed many times while their kids were home from school, usually at the Queen Mansion. That was where they first met. And although the two got along quite well and even flirted, Quentin was still very much in love with his ex wife and eventually Donna had married Walter. But it didn't mean they didn't enjoy being in each other's company when the moment presented itself. 

"How have you been? I heard you made captain, congratulations." Donna says, setting her champagne flute to a side. 

Captain Lance shifts his weight. "Yes I did, thank you. It was really at my daughter's insistence that I accept the promotion. She wants me at my desk as much as possible." 

She pats his shoulder lightly. "Well I can't say I blame her. She wants to keep her father safe, I certainly see nothing wrong with that." 

He gives her a gruff little chuckle. 

"Speaking of, I saw Laurel and she is just lovely. Sara too. You must be so happy to have her home for the time being." 

"Well I wish I could say the same for Di." He speaks over the rim of his glass. 

Donna looks up confused. "I would imagine Dinah is happy to have Sara back too." 

"But Sara didn't _tell_ her she was coming back. And avoided her for a week after she landed in Starling. Things have been...strained to say the least." 

She nods slowly, picking up her flute and turning, finding Felicity talking to Walter in the crowd of people. "Well I know a little something about strained relationships...Felicity and I weren't on the best of terms when she first left to Boston but...Dinah is Sara's mom and eventually, no matter what is said or done, she'll forgive her." 

Quentin eyes her curiously. "You sound like you're speaking from recent experience." 

She shakes her head around her champagne. "That's what we do as mothers, we forgive our children for what they say or do and we stand by them through everything...even if we feel like they're making a mistake..." 

There's a small beat of silence between the pair before Captain Lance sets down his glass. "Well since your husband is preoccupied," he holds out his elbow to her, "may I have this dance Mrs. Smoak-Steele?" 

Donna smiles, setting down her own flute. "But of course, Captain Lance."

* * *

He feels her presence with a shift in the air before she full comes to a stop beside him. 

"I'm surprised you came." Felicity says quietly. 

Oliver's eyes stay on Thea as he responds. "I wanted to ensure that Sara received her present." 

They both turn to look in Sara's direction at the mention of her name. She has her arms wrapped around Nyssa as they glide around the dance floor, appearing to be lost in each other and unaware of the people surrounding them. 

"She looks happy." He notes, shifting his attention back to his sister who is speaking seriously to a small group of waiters. 

"She is," Felicity assures him, "thank you." 

Oliver sneaks a glance down at her. "For what?" 

"You didn't have to come tonight. But even after... _everything_ , it would feel weird not having you here. So, whatever the reason, thank you. I appreciate it." She smiles up at him, and he can see how hard she's trying to make it like before. Before they admitted their love for each other, before they acted upon their feelings, before they stopped pretending that they were nothing more than friends. But it's not like before. He's not sure it will ever be. 

"I wanted to apologize." Felicity says suddenly. 

"For what?" 

She huffs out a small breath. "For everything. And I don't expect you to forgive me, I don't deserve it, but I need to apologize regardless. I...ruined everything..." 

"Everything between you and me you mean?" 

"Oliver you're my best friend, I've only ever wanted you to be happy." Her eyes drift to the dance floor. "You know when we meet, I told myself that you were off limits in any sort of romantic capacity and that I would never stand in the way of someone who made you happy." She looks up at him again. "And even though I stuck to that promise, I did something worse, I made you miserable instead. And I'm sorry for that, you have no idea how much I hate myself for that. You deserve to be happy Oliver." 

"Felicity..." He sighs, closing his eyes and shaking his head slowly. "I wish we could...I wish I could be the friend that I was for all these years and just be happy for you and play this role but...I can't...I can't..." 

"I know," she gives him a sad, almost watery smile and his heart breaks at the sight of it. "I know we can't. I'm not asking you to." 

The urge to reach out and touch her is so strong, burning within him, and he's almost sure he's never wanted anything so much in his life before. "Felicity I—" 

"Group photo!" 

They both turn as Tommy appears before them, Lyla by his side. 

"What?" Oliver asks and can see Felicity, out of the corner of his eye, discreetly turning to wipe her cheeks. 

"College group photo." Tommy explains excitedly. "I figured since dinner the other night was kind of a bust and since we're all here now..." He waves his hands around one another as if it requires no further explanation. 

"Now?" 

"Yes," Tommy turns to Lyla, "I even commandeered Diggle's _gorgeous_ wife to be the camerawoman." 

Lyla looks at Tommy in amusement, fighting a smile. 

He turns back to Oliver. "So...what do you say?" 

"I say it's up to you to tear Sara away from the dance floor." Felicity speaks up, sounding almost normal again. Almost. 

"Deal Smoak." He hops off towards the dance floor. 

Lyla just shakes her head, watching as he races off. "I had forgotten how...persuasive Tommy could be." 

Oliver chuckles. "How did you get roped into this?" 

She shrugs. "Guess I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. One second I'm teasing Johnny about doing the cabbage patch and the next thing I know I'm being dragged away by Merlyn." 

Felicity laughs. "John doing the cabbage patch. Now this I _have_ to see." 

Then Tommy's back, pulling Sara along. "Okay, the band's all here!" 

He goes about making sure everyone is in position, stating that the picture will be praised by generations to come, that archeologist will uncover it as the only remain left by our civilization. He throws the word legendary in there a few times. Lyla and Nyssa just stand on the sidelines, looking on with sheer amusement. 

Felicity and Sara stand next to each other in the middle, holding hands, Tommy stands behind Sara, his arm thrown around her, Oliver stands behind Felicity, his hand carefully on her shoulder. 

Then Lyla snaps the picture. They all gather around the camera, looking at the shot. Tommy declares it a winner and runs off to go do whatever else he had in mind for the evening. Sara drags Nyssa back to the dance floor and the two get lost in each other again. Felicity is pulled away for some official photos by the photographer that Thea hired. And Oliver just stands with Lyla, looking at the picture for a while longer.

* * *

Laurel throws her head back laughing. 

"Did you just snort?" Ted asks, teasingly, his eyes dancing with mirth. 

She covers her mouth quickly, blushing slightly. "No..." 

"You totally did!" He sets his glass down, turning in his chair to face her, "How unladylike." 

She rolls her eyes at him, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Yeah like you're the model of a perfect gentleman." 

He shrugs, taking a small sip of his champagne, his eyes on her. "You know you and your sister are a little more alike than I thought." 

Laurel raises her eyebrows. "Really? So I'm not the robot you first took me for?" 

Ted smirks, shaking his head. "I didn't say that." 

"No, I know." She says playing with her napkin. 

"But it kinda seems like you wish you were more like her..." He edges carefully. 

She looks up at him. "And what gave you that impression?" 

"Just a feeling, I suppose." 

"Ah," _One of the infamous 'Grant Feelings'..._

"But it's true, isn't it? Why?" He presses. 

Laurel folds her hands over each other. "Why the sudden switch to a heavy topic Grant?" 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean...I just want to know more about you. You know, like you do when you're on a date with someone." 

She looks at him challengingly. "You think this is a date?" 

"I think we're both at this party, me in a suit, you in a killer dress...whatever you want to call it, seems like a date to me." 

She presses her lips together to keep from smiling. "To answer your question...yes I sometimes wish I was more like Sara." 

"Why?" 

Laurel sighs deeply. "Growing up, she just seemed to be better off. My parents divorced when we were really young and my mom took my sister to go live with her in Central City which meant I got to stay here with my cop dad. My mom, she was a teacher, and she was really good at it, but I think she just spent so much time parenting her class that when she came home there was no more mom left in her for us. So Sara got to roam free a lot, do her own thing. My dad was a lot stricter. He had very specific expectations for me." 

"And that's a bad thing?" Ted asks. 

"No. But it wasn't just that...my dad kinda intimidated people. It was hard making friends when no one wanted to invite you to any parties fearing your dad would break it up. So I became a little more distant and guarded. Sara never had that problem. She drew people in naturally, like a magnet, everyone always wanted to be around her. I was always envious of that..." 

"I don't think you should downplay your allure." 

Laurel blinks up at his words, something pulling at her heart. 

"Excuse me, mind if I cut in?"

* * *

They both snap their heads up to look at Tommy as he stands there awkwardly, feeling like a third wheel. The guy looks at him for a moment before looking back at Laurel and clearing his throat. 

"Yeah, sure. I'm just gonna go...give Cutter a hard time." He gives Laurel a tight smile before getting up, sending Tommy a small nod as he makes his way past him. 

Tommy looks after him for a second before taking his place on the seat next to Laurel. Her face is slightly flushed and her eyes are slightly dazed. Anyone else would just assume the alcohol was starting to effect her but he knew better, he has seen that face before, been the cause of it before, and knew exactly what that meant. 

"Tommy, hi." 

"Hello Laurel." 

She fingers the steam of her glass for a moment. "So...what's up?" 

"I want it to not be weird between us anymore." He says, bluntly. 

"It's not weird." 

"It is." 

She opens her mouth but then looks at him and closes it. 

"I know that we didn't have the best breakup—or at least as good as break ups can be—because I hopped on a plane two days later and we never spoke again. And while under different circumstances that would be ideal, with us it was different because we were important to each other before we started dating." 

She looks down, gnawing on her lip. 

"Laurel you were my friend, and the first girl I ever really loved. You were important to me and still are. We should have talked after that night, I'm sorry we didn't." 

"It wasn't exactly like I tried getting ahold of you." She says softly. 

"Yeah you're right, I should be totally putting the blame on you." 

She laughs. An actual laugh, and it helps break the tension that's been surrounding them. 

"I missed that," he comments, smiling sadly, "I missed hearing you laugh and hearing you talk about your day...I just miss talking to you. I lost my girlfriend and a good friend all in one go." 

She tucks her hair behind her ear. "It would have just put too much pressure on us, you being in China while I moved to San Francisco...I mean being apart for college was one thing, we knew it was temporary, and even then the long distanced sucked, but China? That's just a whole other level. And I don't think we were ready for that." 

"I know that. I know you were just thinking logically, and you were right, it would have been too much. I just couldn't let you go. I was being selfish." 

"Tommy, no," she shakes her head, reaching out to grab his hand, "you were never selfish. I mean there's a reason we both waited until your last few days in Starling to have the inevitable talk. We just weren't ready to say goodbye." 

He smiles at her, happy to be finally having this conversation with her, something they should have been done years ago. A strange sense of fulfillment and satisfaction blooms in his chest. 

She tilts her head at him. "Huh," clearly she's feeling the same thing. 

"I guess this is what closure feels like." 

She wrinkles her nose, the same way she used to whenever a crime drama they were watching on TV managed to surprise her. "I guess." 

He smiles at her and the familiar gesture. 

"You know, for the longest time I felt like something was holding me back from pursuing anything serious with anyone...I don't think that's going to be a problem anymore." 

He casts a knowing look over to where Ted is laughing with Diggle and a small redhead. Tommy grasps Laurel's hand firmly then leans over to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Enjoy the party." 

She smiles at him as he pulls back. "I'll be seeing you around Merlyn." 

And with that she gets up from her seat and walks over to the dance floor where Sara swaying in the arms of tall brunette. 

* * *

"Hi Ollie." Oliver pauses at the sound of his old nickname. There are only three people in the world who call him that. One is his sister, who is currently gliding across the dance floor in Roy's arms. The other is Tommy, but Oliver can see him flirting with the woman behind the bar. That just leaves... 

He turns around slowly. "Helena?" 

She smiles brightly at him. "The one and only." Her voice is low and warm just like he remembers it. 

He gets up to hug her. "It's been so long! What are you doing here?" 

"What? A girl can't drop in on an old friend?" She smirks up at him. 

Oliver shakes his head. "Well of course but the last I heard you were still managing business in Italy. Surely you didn't come down here for Felicity's wedding?" 

Helena comes around and puts her bag down on the table, facing Oliver. "Oh now Ollie, you know she would never invite me to such an event. No, I actually own this catering service. I was going over the orders at headquarters and when I saw one under Smoak for Starling City, I figured that's where I'd find you." 

He cocks an eyebrow. "You came all this way for me?" 

She slaps his arm playfully, throwing her hair behind her shoulder. "Don't get too flattered, I was overdue for a trip down here anyways. I must admit it's been a while..." 

She folds her hands over her lap and Oliver can make out the faint tan line on her ring finger. 

"I was sorry to hear about your loss." 

She looks up at him and smiles sadly. "We all lose things sometimes. Yourself included." 

At his confused look, Helena tilts her chin at the direction of the cake. Oliver follows her gaze to see Felicity with her arm around Ray, posing for pictures. 

"I'll admit I was surprised when the order wasn't placed under Smoak-Queen. I thought for sure after we broke up there would be no more obstacles for the two of you." 

Oliver turns to look back at her. "Helena..." 

"Ollie, did you ever even tell her? Does she know how you feel?" 

He slumps in his chair, not liking the turn this conversation has taken. 

"Well you must not have made it that convincing then." 

Oliver huffs out a laugh and Helena reaches out to grab his hand over the table. "You have to stop letting the good ones get away from you." 

"You're including yourself in that category?" 

"But of course!" 

Oliver laughs and that makes Helena smile up warmly at him. 

"I missed you Helena." 

"I missed you too Ollie." 

"How long are you here for?" 

Her smile shifts and her eyes glint with mischief. "There's the Ollie I remember. I'm leaving in three days. You should take me out to dinner." 

"Table Salt? I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight." 

"Perfect." She pulls a card out of her bag. "Here's the hotel I'm staying at." 

He takes the card and slips it into his breast pocket. 

Helena collects her bag. "It was nice running into you." She places a kiss on the corner of his mouth and cups his cheek. "Until tomorrow." 

Oliver rubs his hand up and down her arm. "Tomorrow Helena."

* * *

Thea smiles softly at the look of amazement on some of the guests' faces as they look around at the decorations that cover the club. A sense of pride fills her at being the reason for that awe. 

"You really have done an amazing job." 

She turns at the sound of Felicity's voice, standing behind her in an eggplant cocktail dress and a champagne flute in her hand. 

She moves to hug the blonde. "Well I had the perfect motivation." 

Felicity smiles against her cheek, squeezing her tightly before letting go. "But really Thea _this_ ," she motions around them, "is more than I could have ever dreamed of. Thank you." 

Thea shrugs. "Don't mention it. I always wanted a sister, now I get to plan her wedding. So really I should be the one thanking you." 

Felicity smiles gently. "You know when I became friends with Oliver, I never thought that it would mean I'd be gaining a family too." She laces their arms, slowly turning them. "But I did. I got a sister in you, a second mother in Moira and a father figure I had been missing my whole life in Robert." 

They're facing across the bar now, towards her parents in question. Moira and Robert sit at their assigned table making polite conversation with Detective Lance. 

"And I don't like to see my family hurting Thea." 

She sighs, wanting to remove her arm from Felicity's. "Did Ollie put you up to this?" 

The blonde shakes her head solemnly. "No one has told me anything actually. I'm here on my own violation." 

"Then what makes you think we're hurting?" She manages her arm free from Felicity's. 

"Because I've spent the last half decade with you guys. Besides, the walls of Queen Consolidated have ears and the secretaries talk to each other." 

Thea crosses her arms over her chest. "Well _I'm_ not the one who is hurt." 

Felicity eyes her, something close to sympathy taints her expression. "You would like to think that wouldn't you? That you can walk out of this scotch free? Everybody who works with him can tell that your dad is hurting, as much as he tries to hide it it just seeps through into everything he does. With your mom, it's written all over face, her heart screams out for you when she sees you. Oliver's pain is more subtle. He doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve but the signs are still there. It's in a hitch in his voice, a clouding over of his face, a twitch in his hand, a slump of his shoulders. He would like to think he doesn't have so many tells but he does." She turns her attention back to Thea. Her eyes had wandered over and sought Oliver out somewhere in the middle of her speech. Thea can see her now shaking her head, attempting to dispel something from her mind. _That's curious..._

"But you're...different, Thea." Felicity continues, "When you're in pain you throw yourself into projects to take your mind off the real problem." 

She arches her brow in challenge. "So you think I'm focusing on your wedding to distract me from my family drama?" 

"I do. And as someone who loves you and cares about you, I hate to see you in unnecessary pain." 

"My pain is unnecessary?" 

"Yes, because it's self inflicted. Because you have the power to end it but you don't. As much as this is a punishment for your family, I don't think you've stop to consider how much it would hurt you as well." 

Thea stands there with her arms crosses, not saying anything. 

"Your brother loves you Thea, you should know that. Don't punish him because he made a mistake once. We all do..." Felicity's face softens as she puts a hand on her shoulder. "Just think about it. Thanks again for the party." 

And she walks off to go chat with Tommy, leaving Thea with a lot on her mind. 

Thea looks over at the table where her parents sit and she thinks about Felicity's words. 

"Um excuse me, Ms. Queen?" 

She turns around to the sound of her assistant's nervous voice. "What is it?" 

"There's a crisis in the kitchen." 

Thea places her hand on her head and sighs. _One crisis at a time._

* * *

"Yaow!" Oliver barks out in pain. 

Felicity flinches, her face scrunching before murmuring softly, "Sorry." She goes back to putting ointment on the tattoo. 

It was stupid, he can see that now in retrospect, something that high school him would have done, not fresh out of college Oliver. But after Tommy had called him up, drunk, with the news that the inevitable breakup with Laurel had finally happened, just a mere days before he was scheduled to fly out to China, Oliver had decided his friend shouldn't suffer alone. So he had gone over to Tommy's mostly packed up place and drank. Then they hit up a bar and drank some more. They drank until getting tattoos seemed like a good idea. It wasn't like it had been Oliver's first tattoo either, but he would have definitely picked a better placement had he been sober. 

Which is why he currently finds himself splayed out on Felicity's small couch while she's hunched over, applying the ointment down the left side of his torso. 

"Remind me again why you thought this was a good idea?" She huffs, pushing back the loose strands of hair that have fallen out of her ponytail. 

"Somewhere between the bourbon and the tequila it seemed like an excellent plan," he grinds out between his teeth as she gets to a particularly sensitive area. 

Her eyes meet his, feeling his body tense, and gives him a small apologetic smile. "Still, I don't see why Tommy couldn't get a tattoo by himself. I mean he's the one that went through the breakup. What's your excuse?" 

"Solidarity." 

She rolls her eyes. He smirks. 

"Okay, I think that should just about do it." Felicity tells him, dabbing the cotton into his side a moment longer before standing up and seeming to appraise her work. 

"You could have been a doctor in another life." He grunts, pushing himself up into a sitting position. 

She puts her hands on her hips. "Do you have a problem with my IT career or something?" 

Oliver huffs out a small laugh, shaking his head. "No I just...I think you're a woman of many talents." 

Felicity eyes him for a moment before smiling. She bends down to place all the swabs and cotton balls into the small trash bin she's placed there. The movement brings her face level with the tattoo, and now that she's not cleaning it she can really appreciate it. "What does it say?" She asks him quietly, looking like she's trying to resist the urge to run her hands down it. 

"My body is an island." He tells her just as quietly. 

Felicity looks up at him, biting her lip and he can see something old and familiar there before she shakes her head. "And your girlfriend won't mind it?" 

Oliver cocks his head. "Helena? No, she won't care." 

"Hmm," Felicity hums noncommittal and gets up, taking the trash can back out to the kitchen. 

"Why do you always call her that?" He asks over his shoulder. 

"Call who what?" "

Helena, you never call her by her name, you always call her my girlfriend." 

She comes around to sit next to him on the couch. "In the three years I've known you, you've never had a girlfriend. I'm just still getting use to the idea." 

Oliver studies her carefully, he can feel she's not telling the full truth. But before he can ask her about it the door is unlocked and Ray walks in. 

"Sweetie, you will not believe what happened today in the office. Oh hi Oliver." 

Ray stops once he's closed the door, his jacket hanging from his arm. 

"Dr. Palmer." Oliver nods. 

"Please, I've told you, call me Ray. 'Dr. Palmer' sounds like an evil scientist. New tattoo?" He takes in Oliver's shirtless state. And Oliver knows that in any other situation this would look bad but he and Felicity have been friends for years and Ray knows that. So Oliver just shrugs. 

"Solidarity tattoo." 

"Oh?" 

"Yes," Felicity says, getting up to greet Ray with a kiss on the cheek, Oliver looks away, he feels as if he's imposing, "a friend of ours is going through a small heartbreak." 

"That's too bad." Ray rubs her back. "Well I'm going to start on dinner." He turns toward Oliver. "Will you be joining us?" 

Oliver shakes his head. "No thank you. I have to go check on Tommy soon, make sure he's still alive." 

"I'll tell you all about it over dinner, okay honey?" Felicity pats his chest. 

Ray nods the walks off toward the kitchen. She comes over to sit back on the couch and throws Oliver his shirt. 

He quirks a brow at her. "Honey?" 

She looks up. "What?" 

"I've never heard you call anyone 'honey' before." Oliver tells her, putting on his shirt. 

"Well I've never seen you in a relationship before," she counters, "so I guess we're both trying new things." 

"He has a key to your place." 

"He's had a key to my place for a few weeks now." 

"So things are getting pretty serious then?" Oliver concludes. 

Felicity takes the pillow from the cushion next to her and places it on her lap. "You could say that." 

"Does he make you happy?" He asks, dipping his head to force eye contact. 

There's a small pause before she replies. "Yes. Very." 

"Good," Oliver smiles, "that's all I've ever wanted for you." 

* * *

Felicity turns around at the sound of footsteps approaching. 

"Hey Smoak, don't think I forgot about the conversation we didn't get to finish earlier." Sara says, her heels dangling off her fingertips. 

Felicity nods then turns back to Roy. 

"I guess I'll get out of you hair then blondie." He tells her before taking a peek over at Sara. 

"Hey Abercrombie, tell your girlfriend she threw a real nice party." 

Roy winces slightly at Sara's nickname before nodding and heading off to save Thea from Barry, where he's no doubt talking her ear off about some forensic science thing he's studying at school. Felicity rolls her eyes, _he always did have a crush on her._

"So about this thing with Oliver..." The second Sara reaches Felicity, she's in her face asking questions again. 

"I told you there is no thing with Oliver. That's over." She turns around. 

"Really? Because I saw you guys talking before we took that picture and it didn't really seem like you guys were over." 

"You saw that? Through Nyssa's neck with your x-Ray vision?" 

"Felicity..." Sara warns. 

Felicity starts walking around the tables. "I'm too sober to have this conversation." 

Sara eyes her skeptically. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

Stopping at a table that holds a half empty glass of wine, Felicity eyes it for a moment before shaking her head and thinking better against it. 

"What were you guys talking about? He looked like you kicked his puppy...and then you looked like he kicked your puppy. Basically it just looked like there was a lot of unnecessary puppy kicking." 

Felicity almost snorts. Leave it to Sara to be so wildly observant in her less than sober state and be able to word it so eloquently. "There was no puppy kicking Sara." 

She narrows her eyes. "Then what?" 

Felicity bites her lip before looking down. "I told him I loved him." 

Sara remains silent and Felicity assumes it's the alcohol in her blood that's causing the news to process slower. But then she looks up and sees Sara's dumbstruck expression. "Felicity Megan—I can't believe—wait." She holds up a hand, "I though you said you were 'letting him go'." She says putting the phrase in air quotes. 

"I am. I did." 

"And telling him you loved him was part of that...?" 

Felicity slumps down on the nearest chair. "That wasn't intentional. It just sort of...happened. I couldn't keep denying it to myself anymore." 

Sara drags a chair over and sits down. She places her chin in her hands and studies her friend closely. "So where does that leave you?" 

Felicity stares down at her lap. "Keeping the promise I made a year ago to marry Ray." 

"F, are you sure you know what you're doing?" 

She looks up at her. "I'm just trying to do the right thing. I'm trying to minimize the damage, Sara, and keep as many people as I possibly can happy." 

Sara takes Felicity's hand in her own. "Just because it hurts fewer people," she tells her, "doesn't make it the right choice." 

Felicity looks at their joined hands. She's too tried to have this conversation, too tired to think about these things. She just need to go home, crawl into bed, and be dead to the world, if only for a few hours. 

"Just remember that F." Sara pats her hand and stands up, scooting the chair back. "Taking care of yourself doesn't make you selfish, it just means your human."

* * *

"Would you like to come in?" Helena's voice had been rough and alluring. Oliver had readily accepted. 

They were familiar with this dance, having perfected it years ago when they had been dating, they had always been physically compatible and had lots of fun between the sheets. 

So why is it that while Oliver presses kisses down the column of her neck, he can only think of a very different pale neck? 

"Mm Oliver..." And hearing her breathy voice only makes him think of the same words coming out of Felicity's mouth. 

Running his hands up her thighs only makes Oliver think how different Felicity's thighs feel in his hands. 

He pulls back and even though he knows Helena is laying beneath him, tight dress bunched around her hips and slipping off her shoulder, his mind's eye shows him Felicity's blond curls and sleepy blue eyes and— 

"Oliver?" 

His attention snaps back to reality and he has to blink a couple times before he can see Helena's confused expression. 

He shakes his head, trying to will the image of Felicity away. "I'm sorry...I was just..." 

She gives him a sad knowing smile, pushing him back gently. "I know." 

Oliver rolls back into a sitting position and she sits up across from him. 

"I can tell when I don't have a man's full attention." Helena says, pulling up her strap and rearranging her dress. 

"I'm sorry. I'm just distracted tonight." 

"Tonight?" She laughs softly, fixing her hair. 

He looks at her in questioning. 

"I'm sorry Ollie it's just that, it's not just tonight that you've been distracted. When we were dating I could tell that there was always a part of you, no matter how small, that was elsewhere...with _her_." 

She doesn't have to say a name, he knows exactly to whom she's referring. "I'm sorry Helena." 

"Don't be," she says, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. 

They stay like that for a while and Oliver starts to relax. "Why didn't we work out?" He asks quietly. 

"You mean besides the whole me moving to Italy thing?" She smiles against his temple. 

"Because you were in love with your best friend." 

He closes his eyes. 

"And she loved you too. Still does, I can see it." 

"It doesn't matter," Oliver sighs, "sometimes love isn't enough." 

"It's true. Sometimes a drunk driver hits you on the way to your rehearsal dinner," she says sadly, remembering her fiancé, "and sometimes your own fear gets in the way. But I never doubted the two of you would find your way to each other. It just kinda seemed inevitable." 

He shakes his head. "She made her choice already." 

"She thinks she did," Helena corrects, "but when you make choices for the wrong reasons it catches up to you. Usually sooner than you expect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truer words haven't been spoken Helena ;)  
> That is the last 'Sara talk' of that variety Felicity is going to need, I'll just say that  
> I know this was really Thea heavy but that's because half of this was in the last chapter but since I cut it I had to add it to this chapter so everything would make sense  
> Yeah that was a lot of fun, one of my favorite chapters to write  
> This wrapped up some b-stories so it's the last chapter where it cuts off to so many different people's point of view and the chapters get more and more olicity centered  
> Once again, big decisions and changes are happening so stick around  
> I can't say this enough but you guys are AWESOME I could not ask for a better group of wonderful people to provide me with feedback/critic, I am so ridiculously grateful 
> 
> Tease of the week: "I don't...I don't know if I can...do this."
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Leave me a prompt on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	17. Cold Feet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> Well we've finally made it to the big day. And as we know everything runs smoothly and nothing ever goes wrong in weddings right?  
> I'm not gonna lie, this one is tough, but if you can get through it it's a big turning point for our characters *cough*Felicity*cough*  
> Once again, completely unbetaed and just 100% me
> 
> Enjoy

Felicity's feet feel cold. And not in the I'm-about-to-run-away-because-I-can't-handle-this-anymore way, but in the literal sense. She had not been able to find her big fuzzy socks last night so she had crawled into bed barefoot. So of course the covers had ridden up throughout the night leaving her feet unprotected against the cold. And naturally she was dragged out of the house at the crack of dawn by her mother and Thea fussing about having to get her ready and refusing to let her stop and so much as grab a pair of slippers because they "just didn't have enough time for that." 

So now she's standing in front of a mirror in the back of the chapel, staring at herself wrapped in white and lace, her feet tugged into some strappy little excuse for heels. And her feet are freezing cold, but in the literal sense. 

Though, now that she thinks about it, running away does sound awfully appealing. She peeks behind the mirror over at the window, trying to judge how difficult it would be to jump out of it in her dress. The height of the fall is not that bad, so consequentially neither is the climb. The real challenge would be going over, there were too many things her dress could get snagged on... 

"Earth to Smoak," Sara calls out behind her, Felicity turns around. 

Her bridesmaids are all in the small room with her. Each of them clad in their lavender dresses with their hair in an array of fancy dos. They lounge on the small couches, sipping wine and fussing over each other's makeup. 

"Where'd you go?" Sara asks, moving closer to her. 

Felicity shakes her head, flattening her hand over her forehead. "Sorry I was just thinking." 

Sara gives her a knowing look. 

And Felicity knows that look, knows the questions that are sitting right on the tip of Sara's tongue just itching to get out. _Are you sure about this? Are you making the right choice? Felicity is this what you really want?_ But she's not in the mood to hear them spoken out loud or answer them for the umpteenth time so she's relieved when Thea walks, or more accurately stumbles, up to them. 

"You know I really should become a wedding planner. I mean I am just _awesome_ at it." 

Felicity eyes Thea wearily. "How many of those have you had?" She asks, motioning to the wine glass in the young Queen's hand. 

Thea eyes it skeptically, bringing the glass up for further inspection. "I don't know..." She shrugs and brings it to her mouth for another sip. 

Sara reaches out to stop her hand. "I don't think that's the best idea babe." 

Thea frowns. "Why not?" 

"Don't worry, I got it." Caitlin assures, coming up to take Thea's wine away and guiding her back to the couches. 

"She's opening up a club, I'd assume she'd be able to handle her liquor better." Sara shakes her head, watching as Caitlin sits Thea down. 

Felicity bites her lip nervously. "Is she going to be okay?" 

Sara waves it off. "It's just wine, she'll be fine by go time." She turns back to Felicity then. "The real question is, will you?" 

There's a small knock at the door, saving Felicity from having to answer Sara's inquiry. 

"I'll get it." Tatsu says in her slight Japanese accent. She steps over Thea's legs and walks to the door, opening it enough to look out into the hallway. "Oh hello Mrs. Smoak-Steele." She opens the door fully then, revealing Donna in a bright blue dress. 

"I told you, Tatsu, just call me Donna." She smiles at Tatsu then looks around her and spots her daughter, "Oh my beautiful girl!" She sequels, running over to embrace Felicity. 

"Hi, mom." She suddenly finds herself with an armful of Donna as Felicity attempts not to fall over, in her poor excuse for shoes, from the unexpected force of her mother's hug. 

Donna pulls back, gushing all over her daughter. "Oh baby...you look so amazing!" 

"Mom..." Felicity blushes and her eyes get watery at the sight of tears brimming in her mother's eyes. "Don't cry." 

Donna's hand instantly goes up to her face. "Oh! Am I ruining my make up?" She checks herself in the mirror behind Felicity. 

"Let's give them the room girls." Sara calls out, rounding up the other bridesmaids. Tatsu is the first out the door, followed by Caitlin then Thea. Sara gives Felicity a short nod before exiting the room and closing the door behind her. 

"I wanted to give you something." Donna says, moving away from the mirror once they're alone. "I know us Smoak women hardly ever follow tradition but..." She fishes for something in her small clutch before pulling out a delicate object and bringing it up to eye level, "I figured you could use something old...and blue." 

Felicity's eyes widen. "Is that...?" 

"Mhm," Donna nods, "your grandmother's broach. Ray helped me reset the jewels and turn it into a hair piece." 

"He did?" Felicity croaks out the question, her throat tight. 

"Here, turn around, I'll put it on." 

She does as her mother requests, looking into the mirror as Donna fiddles with the hair pulled up and braided on the crown of her head. 

"Oh, it looks perfect." Donna's gushing again, something that seems to be a common occurrence for her today. She meets Felicity's eyes in the mirror and smiles warmly. Felicity tries to smile back convincingly and ignore the knots in her stomach. 

"It just needs a couple of bobby pins. I got some yellow ones in the car, it'll blend right in." Donna turns to leave and Felicity sticks her hand out to stop her. 

"Mom?" She asks carefully, barely above a whisper. 

"Yes baby?" 

"How did you feel on your wedding day?" 

Donna's face softens as she gently rubs her daughter's arm. "Well when I married your father I was a mess, so happy I could barely breathe. Then after everything was said and done I suddenly wanted to run away. Now that should tell you something, I should have followed that instinct. But I'll never regret not doing it because it gave me you." They smile fondly at each other, all teary eyes and flushed cheeks. 

"When I married Walter..." She continues, "I was nervous, the butterflies in your stomach and sweaty palms kind of nervous. But then I was overcome with this sense of calm and I knew that no matter what happened, what went wrong, that none of it would matter as long as by the end of the day I was married to him." 

Felicity nods. "I'm nervous." She confesses. 

Donna smiles gently. "That's normal baby, as long as you're nervous for the right reasons." 

"How would I know if I was?" She grasps her mom's hand tight, searching for the answers. 

Donna smooths Felicity's hair back. "It's nerve wracking because you're taking a big step into the unknown. But eventually the calm will come too." 

"When did the calm come for you?" 

"The moment I saw him there standing at the end of the aisle, because that's when I remembered that I was marrying my best friend." 

Felicity's face falls. 

"Apart from you of course." Donna smiles. "I'm going to have Caitlin bring the bobby pins." She says, escaping out the door. Leaving Felicity alone with a knot in her chest. 

* * *

"Woah man, getting the party started early?" 

Oliver winces at Tommy's teasing words, screwing the top of the flask he had tried to pull out of his breast pocket discreetly. 

"It's nothing." 

"Nothing?" Tommy tries to take the flask away from him. "What'd you got in there? Whiskey? Bourbon? Rum?" 

Oliver batts away his hand but Tommy still manages to snatch the flask from his hands. He unscrews the top and takes a sniff before scrunching his face up. "Holy shit man!" 

"Keep it down." Oliver hisses, pointing to the chapel behind him. 

"Sorry, it's just that it smells like the night we got our tattoos in there." Tommy holds the flask back out to Oliver. 

He takes it and stashes it back in his jacket pocket. "You mean the night of 'the break up'?" 

"Ugh," Tommy makes a face, "did we name it that? No, I don't like that. Sounds like a bad rom com." 

Oliver snickers, something he wouldn't be able to do today if not for his flask. 

"What do you need that stuff for anyways?" Tommy asks, putting his hands in his pockets and rolling back on his heels. 

Not being able to come up with an appropriate response, Oliver just shrugs. "Weddings are boring." 

"You should have brought Helena along to be your plus one." Tommy nudges him playfully. 

"I don't have a plus one, I was supposed to be Thea's escort." 

Tommy nods. "Before Roy showed up...well still, if you walk in there smelling like a distillery Thea's gonna be pissed. Just a head's up." 

Oliver nods. 

"I'm going to head inside and make sure I get a good seat. You'll be good out here?" 

"Yeah," he insists. "Go in. I'll see you in a bit." 

Tommy clasps his shoulder before walking up the steps to the small chapel. Oliver stands outside in the cold, the liquor in his veins warming him up. He's not ready to go in yet, he's not really sure what he's doing here actually. If he was still Thea's escort, he would have an excuse. But he's not anymore, so what's his reason for showing up today? 

Tommy seems better, lighter after his talk with Laurel, he says he finally got closure. Maybe Oliver's hoping for the same thing. Maybe seeing Felicity promise herself and her love and loyalty to Ray in front all their family and friends will provide him with the closure he needs to move on. 

Oliver shakes his head. _Doubtful._

Helena's words from the other night ring in his head and he can't help but to wonder if she's right...but what difference would it make anyway? He should just leave now. 

"Oh crap!" 

Oliver turns his head quickly to see Caitlin standing on edge of the road, frowning down at her feet. 

He moves over to her. "Caitlin?" 

She looks up. "Oliver! Oh thank god, could you help me?" 

He goes to the edge of the sidewalk. "What's wrong?" 

"My heel..." Caitlin gestures down to it. "It's stuck." She tugs on her foot for emphasis. 

Oliver bends down to inspect it. She's standing over a grating, her heel wedged between two metal bars. "Ok I see it. Here." He wraps a hand around her waist and holds out his other hand for her to hold. 

She holds it firmly as Oliver pulls her up and over the grating, back onto the sideway. A big tearing noise follows the movement. 

Once Caitlin is on the sidewalk she looks down at her dress. "Oh no...it must have gotten caught in the heel." 

Oliver can see a tear in her dress running up the side of her leg. It doesn't look good. 

"Cait!" A man hops down the last few steps of the chapel and comes racing over. "Donna wants to know if you were able to find them." 

He stops in front of them and Caitlin turns to him to explain. "My dress ripped, I can't go in there like this." 

"Oh..." He takes in her ruined dress. 

"Ronnie this is Oliver, Oliver this is my husband." 

"Ronnie Raymond." The man introduces himself, holding his hand out for Oliver to shake. 

Oliver accepts it. "Oliver Queen." 

"I don't know what I'm going to do." Caitlin says, biting her lip as she looks down at the state of her dress. 

Ronnie places an arm around her. "Don't worry babe, we'll figure something out. We still have some time before it starts." 

She looks up at him gratefully and nods. "Okay... Oh! Oliver." She turns to Oliver, speaking urgently. "Here." 

She holds her hand out to him and he takes two little yellow pins from her. He looks up at her questioningly. 

"Felicity needs these, can you make sure she gets them please?" 

He looks down at them in his palm hesitantly. A few minutes ago he was questioning why he even showed up here in the first place and was contemplating leaving. Now he was being asked to go see Felicity directly...in her white dress getting ready to marry another man... 

He has to say no. "Yeah...okay." He nods instead, looking up into Caitlin's pleading eyes. 

She smiles. "Thanks." 

"It's not a problem." _None at all, I'm just going to go hand these over to the woman I love so she can go marry Ray. No problem at all._

* * *

Felicity and Ray had only been engaged for two weeks when Thea insisted that they let her throw them an engagement party. Of course when Thea had suggested it, Felicity was thinking something more along the lines of a quiet dinner with family and close friends. But Thea had said party so that is what she got, a party. 

Felicity smiles as she once again receives congratulations on her engagement, this time from a Queen Consolidated employee, and takes a sip of her wine. Oliver shows up next to her, nursing his own glass of wine. 

"Nice party." He comments. 

And the party is nice, much nicer than anything her and Ray would have been able to afford. She's only been working at QC for barely over a year and she still couldn't come close to booking a place as nice as the Queen Mansion for this party. 

"Well it was Thea's doing so I've come to expect as much." She turns to face him. "Thank you again for hosting our engagement party here." 

Oliver looks down at her, a small smile playing on his lips. "Of course. I mean you spent so much time here, it's practically your house too." 

Felicity rolls her eyes over the rim of her glass. "Don't let my mom hear you say that." 

"Donna did seem pretty happy when she walked in." 

"Happy? Try elated." 

Oliver chuckles. "I just met your future sister-in-law, by the way." 

"And?" She looks up at him, waiting for his reaction to Isabelle. 

He whistles low. "She's a piece of work." 

"Tell me about it," Felicity grumbles, taking another sip of her wine. "She doesn't like me. Can you believe that? She just took one look at me and decided that she wasn't going to like me, I was doomed before I even had a chance. And I am personable, everybody likes me!" 

She sees Oliver's mouth twitch. 

"I'm serious!" 

He presses his lips together tightly, looking like he's trying to fight a smile before another person pops up in front of them to congratulate Felicity, this time a work friend of Walter's. 

"I am so happy for you and your fiancé Felicity." 

"Thank you very much Mr. Chen. Did Ray speak to you yet? I know he wanted to talk about some investment deals." 

"Oh yes I just spoke to him," he gestures vaguely behind him before turning his head to Oliver. 

"Your mother tells me you are getting ready to open up your doors." 

"Yes," Oliver nods. "The Gambit will be open for business in just a few weeks time. We have high hopes for it." 

"That's very good to hear. Being your father's son I'm sure you have a strong business head on your shoulders and your gym will thrive despite its location." 

Felicity pats his arm, proud of how far he's come. Oliver smiles at both of them. 

"Tell me, where is that delightful girlfriend of yours?" Mr. Chen asks. 

Oliver's face drops for a moment before he composes himself. "In Italy," he says, his voice very casual, "her business took her out there but, as you said, I'm getting ready to open my gym so we decided to split up." 

"I'm sorry to hear that Oliver." There's a beat of silence where Mr. Chen doesn't know how to proceed. "Well congratulations again Felicity, I'm going to see if I can find your stepfather." 

She thanks him and off he goes. Oliver downs his drink beside her. 

"You okay?" She asks, the hand on his shoulder now running soothing circles. 

"Yeah...I just gotta get used to people asking about her. That's only the fifth time today." He gives her a fake smile. Felicity sees right through it. 

After a year of going strong, Helena and Oliver had broken up. It was more than just her impending move to Italy, Felicity sensed, although that certainly hadn't made matters any easier. But in her heart of hearts she knew there was more to it. She also knew better than to push Oliver to speak before he was ready to, so she bit her tongue on the subject and didn't ask him for more details. 

But of course, since they had been attached at the hip when they were dating, Helena had met everyone and apparently left a lasting impression. Although anyone who Oliver introduced to family and friends as his girlfriend would have left a lasting impression since it was such a novelty for him. 

"Well," Felicity says, attempting to lighten the mood, "if anyone else asks about her, you can go ahead and use me as your shield." 

"Really?" His eyes dance. "You'd do that for me?" 

She shrugs, eying her wine. "I'm going to get bombarded with the same questions anyway until Ray and I actually get married so...yeah, I'd take one for the team." 

He smiles down at her, a truly radiant smile, and Felicity knows that he's gonna be just fine. In a few weeks time Helena will be just a ghost of a memory and he'll have moved on. 

Oliver wraps his arm around her, pulling her tight to his chest to whisper in her hair. "That Ray Palmer is one lucky guy." 

She blushes, hiding behind her wine glass. _He's not the only lucky one when I have a friend like you. ___

* * *

Felicity walks around the room trying to take big deep breaths. But they come out shallow and end up making her feel light headed instead. She tries to think of something that will calm her down before she has a full fledged panic attack. 

_It's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay._

She repeats the mantra over and over to herself in her head. Maybe if she says it enough times it'll be true. 

Felicity puts her palms flat on her abdomen and attempts to inhale deeply. She tries Lamaze breathing and finds the act difficult. Maybe her dress is too tight. The though has her trying to reach the buttons in the back. _Yes too tight, definitely too tight._

Although now that she thinks about it, everything feels too tight. Not only her dress but her necklace, her hair...her shoes. _Oh god, definitely the shoes._

She doesn't really remember agreeing to these shoes but Thea had probably picked them out and insisted and Felicity had probably caved in and accepted them. Like she had with everything else relating to the wedding. From the color theme, that she didn't really care for but Ray liked it, to the flowers, which made her sneeze but they were Alice's favorite. Even the dress, Felicity notes as she looks down at herself. It wasn't her favorite out of the ones she had tried on, but it had reminded Donna of the dress she had worn for her first wedding, so much so that she had burst into tears at the mere sight of her daughter in it, so Felicity had decided to get it. 

But the shoes...the shoes are _killing_ her. 

Actually they might, Felicity thinks nervously, she might trip over her own feet on the way up the aisle. She could very easily dislocate or break something in her tumble and she may even take Walter down with her. Felicity shudders at the thought. She may very well end up spending her wedding day in the hospital. _I should have practiced walking around the chapel in these._

Looking down at the death traps strapped around her feet, panic raises in her chest. She shouldn't have worn these heels, she fears she'll hurt herself in them. _I can't walk in these things, I may have to cancel the wedding..._

There's a knock on the door, grabbing her attention, before the door is pushed all the way open. 

"Oliver?" 

He looks equal parts uncomfortable and uncertain as he stands in the doorway. 

"What—what are you doing here?" She forgets about the discomfort in her feet at the sight of him in front of her. 

He takes a tentative step forward, into the room. "I ran into Caitlin outside, she was on her way here when she had a...wardrobe malfunction, she asked me to bring these to you." He holds out his hand, two bobby pins in it. He's keeping his distance, as if he'll be electrocuted if they touch. Felicity's not sure if that is entirely untrue. 

"Oh," she's not quite sure what else to say, she hadn't expected to see him. And since she's still stunned at seeing him and she has no head to mouth filter, the next words she says are, "I didn't think you were coming." 

He drops his hand slightly. "Well that makes two of us...and I'm starting to think that maybe I shouldn't have." 

Felicity weathers that. She can't blame him either, she's not sure if she would be able to do it if the roles were reversed and he was the one getting married... "How's Helena?" 

Oliver looks up surprised, his brows pulled together. 

"I saw you two taking...at the rehearsal dinner." She explains, her hands moving around animated. 

"And _that's_ what you want to talk about?" 

She sighs. "No...I just, I don't know what to say." She wasn't expecting to see him here at all today, least of all in her dressing room in the back of the chapel. 

He shakes his head, looking out the window. The same window she contemplated jumping out of earlier. "I knew I shouldn't have come." 

"Then why did you?" Felicity snaps, taking the bobby pins from his still open hand. 

He looks down at his palm afterward, as if he'd forgotten they were there. 

Felicity is about to move away when she catches the faint smell of alcohol coming off him. Looks like Thea wasn't the only Queen who hit the bottle today. "Have you been drinking?" 

"It was the only way I was going to be able to sit through that ceremony." 

"Oliver..." She shakes his head, he shouldn't have to do this. 

"But I was wrong. Because it doesn't matter how much I drink, I can't watch you walk down the aisle and marry some other guy." 

"Oliver...let's not to this. Not now." Felicity shakes her head, moving away. 

"When else are we going to get a chance, with you moving across the country and everything?" He asks stubbornly, and now it's even more clear to her that he's been drinking. 

"Oliver please..." She takes another step back, now she's the one who fears electrocution if she gets too close. 

"Please what Felicity? What more do you want from me?" He stretches his arms out and she can make out the flask hanging out of his jacket pocket. 

"Let's not have this discussion again," she pleads, "we've had it too many times already." She turns back to her mirror but he still stands by the door. 

"Then just tell me, one more time, why are you marrying him?" 

He's asking like he needs to hear it, like he needs this to be able to move on, needs to know that the door is firmly closed on the possibility of them. And if she loves him, she'll do that for him, if that's what he needs. But right now he's angering her because he won't let her freak out in peace. 

"Fine," she spins around to look at him, "I'm marrying Ray because he asked, because he wants a life with me and—" 

"And what? You don't think I do too?" 

His words make her pause, her breath leaving her all at once. Tears spring unbidden to her eyes, her mouth opens slowly but nothing comes out. She wasn't expecting him to say that. 

"Hey Felicity did you—oh..." Sara stops at the doorway, looking between the two. 

Felicity stands frozen, still trying to process what Oliver just said. 

"I just walked in on a...thing didn't I?" Sara asks, picking up on the tension in the room. 

Oliver just turns on his heel and leaves, breezing past Sara. 

Felicity doesn't move, doesn't say anything. She just stands there feeling completely defeated. 

"What happened here? Did you guys...?" Sara points after Oliver's retreating figure. 

Felicity blinks back the tears pooling in her eyes and bites her lip. 

Sara looks at her concerned. "F are you okay?" 

Felicity brings a hand up to cover her eyes and shakes her head, slumping down into the couch. 

"Woah," Sara comes forward, placing a hand on Felicity's knee. 

"I don't...I don't know if I can...do this." Felicity gasps out, her lungs feeling like they're full of concrete. 

"Felicity, just take some deep breaths." 

She tries to, taking in ragged broken breaths as she tugs uselessly on the neckline of her dress, but it's useless. 

Sara runs a hand down her back smoothly as she pats her knee. 

Felicity shakes her head, getting up to resume her pacing. "I think I'm going to faint." She moves over to the window and pushes it open as far as it can go. Then she looks around the room helplessly. "It's hot in here isn't it? Why are there no more windows in this room?" 

Sara scrambles to her feet and places her hands on Felicity's shoulders. "F you really need to calm down, you look like you're gonna pass out." 

Felicity nods, placing a hand over the necklace she is wearing. "I think I might throw up...oh god I don't know what I'm doing." 

Sara snaps into action. "You look pale. I'm going to go get you something for...everything and when I come back we can talk or...just don't faint while I'm gone." 

Felicity nods quickly, trying to get her breathing under control. 

Her friend runs over to the door before spinning on her heel to address Felicity, "Just stay right here I'll be right back." 

Felicity nods, using her hand to fan herself. She continues pacing the room. _I don't know if I can do this..._ She closes her mouth and attempts breathing from her nose. Closing her eyes, she leans her head back. _Just wait for the calm to come, just wait for the calm._ She instructs herself. Then her eyes snap open. _What if it never does...?_

The small creak of the door opening alerts her to someone's presence in the room and she's grateful Sara was so fast. "Sara, I was thinking, I'm going to have to—" she looks up, her words catching in her throat, "...oh...Ray." 

Seeing him there makes her nervous, more nervous than she was previously. She tries to distract herself with a joke. "Don't you know it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?" It's half hearted but at seeing Ray not respond she takes a step forward. 

He's standing with his head hung, staring at his feet, and he's still. Too still. Felicity's never seen him so still before. 

"Ray?" She takes another tentative step forward until she's right in front of him. He's never been so quiet before. "Ray what's wrong? Talk to me, what's going on?" 

He looks up at her and his eyes are cold and vacant. The next words to leave his mouth make her blood chill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've mentioned that Felicity has dug herself so deep into this hole that it was going to take a big event to snap her to her senses, that event is happening now.  
> That olicity scene was hard to write but trust me when I say the nastiness was necessary because the next time they talk the tone is going to be very very different.  
> This is the last chapter I'll be posting while in summer vacation because I'm going cross country back to university next week, so fingers crossed I'll be able to post next Thursday. 
> 
> And since we've established that I am evil, here's your tease of the week: "...Anna?" 
> 
>  
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Leave me a prompt on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	18. In Sickness And In Health

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> You didn't really think I'd leave you guys hanging did you? ;) (it's still technically Thursday where I am right now)  
> Turns out 5 hour plane rides give you a lot of time to write—although in this case it was a lot of rewriting and restructuring, which for me is harder.  
> I don't know if you guys have noticed, but the title of every every chapter has something to do with a wedding ceremony or wedding terminology. Which, when I first started was a pain in the ass because I don't know that many. So then I had to look a bunch up and sort through to find anything relevant I could actually use. Basically I regret that creative decision almost immediately because it was really hard to find titles that made sense. For this chapter it really extremely easy.  
> And there's no flashback in this one - I took it out, sorry.  
> Also I'd like to point out how funny it was to me seeing everyone go off about the cliffhanger, if only you guys had seen the cliffhanger I had on the chapter that was cut out — now that one was just positively evil. But fear not, I'm here now, read away.  
> This probably has tons of mistakes, that's all me. 
> 
> Enjoy

"How is she? Is everything okay?" Ray demands. 

Upon seeing the doctor come around the corner Ray had stopped his pacing and practically ran up to the man, attacking him with questions, his voice a jumbled string of desperate pleas. 

When he had come into Felicity's dressing room she could tell something was off and it worried her. But she never expected this. 

_"They're taking my mom to the hospital."_ His simple words has they sent a chill through her. Unfortunately they didn't have much else to go on. Ray hadn't been able to get a hold of his father who had rode in the ambulance with Alice. And most of the guest couldn't provide any information on what had happened; many didn't even know anything was going on until the ambulance came. 

So Felicity and Ray had jumped in a car and taken off to the hospital, having no idea what awaited them once they got there. Upon their arrival, Ray's father had told them what happened. As it turns out, Alice had fallen down the chapel steps. Apparently on her way up the stairs she had gotten some chest pains and let go of the railing, causing her to lose her balance and fall down. She had been knocked unconscious and rushed to the emergency room. 

The doctor looks down at his chart after Ray's question. "Your mother has sustained some minor injuries from the fall; we're taking an MRI right now to see if anything else was damaged. We'll update you on her condition." 

Ray nods quickly, internalizing the new information. 

The doctor leaves them, continuing on down the hallway. 

Ray starts his pacing all over again. The cuffs of his white dress shirt are undone and his blue tie hangs loosely around his neck. He walks up and down the hallway with an urgency, a desperate need to move. Felicity's heart breaks for him. Most of the wedding party is in the waiting room and a majority of the guests have gone home already. 

"She's a fighter Ray, you have to remember that." Felicity rubs his forearm soothingly, attempting to comfort him. Alice has been like a mother to her in the almost three years they've known each other and Felicity prays beyond hope that she comes out alright. 

"How's mother?" A thin high voice asks, drawing their attention down the hallway. Isabelle quickly makes her way over to them, her heels clicking loudly against the linoleum floors. She goes straight over to her adoptive brother, her husband in tow. 

"They have her in an MRI right now," Ray says, his voice heavy, "we're still waiting on any news." 

She nods solemnly at his words before turning her gaze to Felicity, her eyes going icy. "You? What exactly do you think you're doing here?" 

"Isabelle." Ray warns. 

Felicity lifts her gaze to the other woman. "I'm here for Alice, and for Ray." 

"This ward is for family only." 

"Felicity is family." Ray interjects. 

Isabelle casts her gaze onto her brother. "Real family." She clarifies. 

He sighs. "Can we not do this now?" 

Isabelle simply purses her lips in disagreement. But before anyone can say anything else a nurse appears telling them they have to clear the hallway and relocate to the waiting area. 

As they make their way into the waiting area, Felicity can see everyone came straight from the chapel like they did, all still in gowns and tuxes. She spots Donna, who hurries over with a garment bag in hand. "I brought you change of clothes honey." 

Felicity groans her appreciation, looking down at her own wedding dress, which feels like it weights 50 pounds. 

"Thanks mom." 

They make their way to the nearest restroom. Donna helps her with the impossible number of buttons on the back of her dress and Felicity takes the clothes from the bag, quickly going into one of the stalls. She gets the dress off and it pools around her ankles, leaving her blissfully free. 

She sighs in relief at finally being able to rid herself of the tight restrictive material and sets out dressing herself in more comfortable clothes. 

"So you really would have gone through with it, huh?" Donna's voice comes from outside the stall. 

"Gone through with what?" Felicity calls out, tugging the jeans up her legs. 

"The wedding." 

She stops her movements. "I don't know what that's supposed to mean." 

"You don't love Ray." 

"What? Of course I do." She says it immediately like it's a reflex. 

"No, you're right." Donna backpedals and Felicity can imagine her shaking her head and looking into the mirror as she talks. And foolishly she hopes that's all her mother has to say. Of course that hope is short lived as Donna continues, "What I meant to say is that you're not _in love_ with Ray...because you're in love with Oliver." 

Felicity slumps against the stall wall and closes her eyes at her mother's words. She quickly pulls her shirt over her head and slips on her flats before opening the stall door. Donna turns around to face her and they stare at each other for a moment. 

"I really don't think this is the time, or place, to talk about that mom." 

Donna shakes her head. "I'm sorry, you're right." She takes the dress from Felicity and carefully stuffs it into the garment bag, zipping it up. "Let's go." 

* * *

Roy's never been a fan of hospitals, not that anyone is really. But there is just something about the antiseptic smell, the coldness of the walls, the dreariness of the colors; it doesn't sit well with his stomach. Add the fact that he had spent a fair amount of time taking his mom to, and picking her up from, hospitals and it's fair to say the Roy just really hates them. 

So of course when Thea had suggested they go—since apparently she had grown friendly with the old woman while planning the wedding and she wanted to be there for Felicity—he had agreed, because he would go to the ends of the earth for that girl. She had left to go get a soda from the vending machine a few minutes ago, her little body engulfed in his jacket that she had draped over her shoulders. 

"Palmer family." A nurse appears in blue scrubs, with short brown hair and big blue eyes. 

"Anna?" Ray gets up and walks over to her. Apparently he knows her. 

She smiles sadly at him. "Hi. I just got on duty and I heard about your mom. I'm so sorry. The doctor is letting me work with her." 

"Any news yet?" Felicity asks, coming out of the bathroom with her mom, the big white wedding dress she was wearing replaced by a t-shirt and jeans. 

"You must be Felicity," the nurse smiles, "you're just as pretty as in the pictures." 

"...Thank you." She replies slowly. Clearly she is not as familiar with this nurse as her fiancé is. 

"Oh I'm sorry," Ray quickly steps in, "Felicity this is Anna, she's taking care of my mom." 

"Oh...Anna." 

There's something about the way she says it, like she's putting the final pieces of a puzzle together, it makes Roy question the nature of Ray and Anna's relationship because it's clear they have history together. Extensive history. 

Thea takes her seat next to him again. "Any new info?" She asks, handing him a soda and opening her own. 

The nurse looks around the room to find all eyes on her and clears her throat before continuing. "We should have the results of her scans by tomorrow but we're going to have to keep her overnight. She has a fractured wrist and hip from the fall but we won't know the extent of any other injuries until we get the scans back. I'll inform you of any developments but at this point I don't think we'll have any news until tomorrow." 

They all nod their heads in understanding. 

"I wouldn't worry too much Ray, she's in very capable hands and Mike hasn't left her side for a second." 

He reaches his hand out to Anna. "Thank you." 

They exchange warm smiles and if Roy didn't know any better he'd think _they_ were the ones who were about to get married an hour ago. 

The nurse nods at the room before exiting the waiting area. 

Felicity wraps her arms around herself. 

Thea yawns, regaining his attention. She looks tired. And she must be, from the combination of the all alcohol she consumed that morning and the worry of Ray's mom being driven away in the ambulance. 

He looks down at his watch. "It doesn't seem like we're going to get any news for a while. Why don't I take you home? You can change, get something to eat, and rest for a little bit." She blinks up, her wide green eyes trained on him, before she nods and rubs her nose. "Yeah, that sounds good. I'll go say goodbye to Felicity and then we can go back to your place." She leans in to kiss him on the check then gets up from her chair. 

* * *

Felicity looks around the small waiting area. The wedding party no longer dominates it. Within a few hours almost everyone had dispersed. Donna had left almost an hour ago, telling Felicity that she had asked Walter to extend their stay at the hotel so they could be here when Alice is cleared. She had left with a kiss on the cheek and a promise to come by early tomorrow and bring soup. Thea had left with Roy a couple hours ago and Felicity had called them and told them to not come back to the hospital tonight like they had been planning to. She didn't see the point of it, they weren't going to receive new information on Alice's condition until tomorrow at the earliest. Caitlin and Ronnie had left soon after, each giving her a big hug. Sara had insisted on staying with her, all night if need be, but Felicity was able to convince her and Laurel to go back home and she promised she would keep them posted. Tatsu had left half an hour ago to take her son back to their hotel. And Eddie had taken her place, claiming he had nowhere else to be. Besides him, the only other people left in the waiting area with her and Ray are Isabelle and her husband, Sebastian. 

They all sit there quietly waiting for news they are not going to receive. 

"Any developments doctor?" Ray sits up straighter in his chair when he sees his mother's doctor come into the waiting area. 

Felicity sits up as well, readjusting her glasses. 

"Still no word on the results, but we were expecting that. I'm just here to inform you that your mother can finally have visitors. It'll have to be short though," he glances down at his watch, "visiting hours are almost over and she needs her rest." 

Ray stands up, folding his suit jacket in his hands. "How long can we see her for?" 

"Only a few minutes. She's a little drowsy from the pain medication she's on so you won't be able to have an over stimulating conversation with her but it'll be enough time just to see her and check on how she's doing." 

Ray holds his hand out to Felicity at the same time that Isabelle and Sebastian stand up. 

"We will see her now." Isabelle tells the doctor. 

He hesitates for a moment. "Okay...but you all can't go in at once. The room isn't big enough and her husband's already there. You can go in pairs." 

"Right. Let's go Ray." 

"I'm going in with Felicity." 

Isabelle turns to them slowly. "Excuse me? We're her children Ray, we have to go see her." 

"And we will. Felicity and I will only be a few minutes and you can go in right after." 

She crosses her arms over her chest, glaring at her brother. 

"Please Isabelle." 

Felicity wants to stand back and put her hands up in surrender. She'll gladly let Isabelle go first. But she can see in Ray's eyes that he needs this, needs _her_ in this moment. 

The brunette purses her lips, the closest she'll give as a sign of surrender, and Ray takes Felicity's hand. 

"Right this way." The doctor says as he takes them down the long corridor to Alice's room. 

Once they reach the room Ray goes straight to his mother's side. Felicity shivers at the threshold, her first thought is that hospital rooms should not be so cold. The room is filled with the beep of the heart monitor and the low volume of the T.V. on the wall playing an infomercial. Mike sits in a chair facing the bed, he holds one of his wife's hands in both of his and barely acknowledges them as they make their way into the room. 

"Mom?" Ray whispers and Alice's eyes flutter open. 

"My boy." She smiles up at him, her eyes half lidded, and Felicity can see the tension released from Ray's body. 

He leans down to hug her in the bed. Over his shoulder she spots Felicity by the doorway. 

"Hello sweetie." 

"Hi Alice." Felicity steps closer, "I'm glad you're up, you're looking good." 

The woman shakes her head slowly. "Well I've definitely looked worse, let me tell you. I'm sorry for the scare." 

Felicity shakes her head, coming to stand at the foot of the bed. "We're just glad you're alright." 

Alice smiles for a moment before studying Felicity, she then turns to her husband. "Would you mind giving us the room for a moment? I just want to talk to Felicity, girl to girl." 

Ray squeezes his mom's hand before nodding and kissing her on the cheek. He leaves her side, touching Felicity's arm on the way out. 

Mike is more reluctant to abandon his post but eventually he gets up from his chair and joins his son out in the hallway. 

Once the room is cleared Felicity looks at Alice's curiously, wondering what she wants to talk about alone. 

The older woman beckons her closer. "Come here honey." 

Felicity walks over the side of the bed where Ray was standing. Up close she can see how exhausted Alice is and can make out the creases of her face and bags under her eyes. Without the beret she usually wears, Alice's bald head is put on display, only serving to make her look older than her years. 

She places a hand over Felicity's. 

"I'm sorry I ruined your day." 

"Alice stop. You didn't ruin anything." She shakes her head. "Your health and safety is all that matters now." 

Alice tilts her head and for a moment Felicity can see the young, reckless girl she once was. 

"It's okay you know." 

Felicity's eyebrows draw together. "I don't understand." 

"I said it's okay." Alice holds her hands tighter. "We all make mistakes and change our minds and that's okay. I just want my son to be happy. And I want you to be happy too Felicity." 

She eyes the woman wearily. 

"The dress." 

_Okay, now I'm really confused_. "I'm sorry, what?" 

"The dress," Alice continues, "you didn't like the dress." 

"My dress is beautiful." The dress that Donna got emotional over, the dress that Alice and Mike insisted on pitching in to pay for, the same dress Felicity felt was suffocating her just hours ago. "I love my dress." 

"Yes but you're not in love with your dress." 

It doesn't escape Felicity's notice that it's the second time someone has pointed out that distinction in as many hours. 

"The dress is beautiful, but it isn't you. It's not the dress you would have picked out for yourself." 

Felicity looks down at their hands. 

"It fit you nicely and you looked beautiful but you weren't comfortable in it. I could tell when you tried it on for us." She dips her head to catch Felicity's eye. "And that's okay." 

Felicity bites her lip, trying to make sure that she understands what Alice is telling her right now. 

"Not every dress is going to feel right, and that's okay. That's the thing about dresses, there's a lot to choose from. And sometimes a dress we've had for a long time...fits better than anything else." 

She looks up at Alice, feeling tears burning in the backs of her eyes. 

"I won't lie, I was hoping you'd come to love the dress..." 

"I wanted to." Felicity says, her choice weak. "I really did." 

Alice smiles up at her sadly. "Just because you bought it, doesn't mean you can't return it. I won't be hurt." 

Felicity just nods her head silently, bending down to wrap her arms around Alice as best as she can over the wires and tubes hooked up to her. 

"Thank you." She croaks into Alice's hair. 

"Mother?" 

They pull apart and find Isabelle standing at the doorway. 

"Come here baby girl." Alice holds open her arms. 

Felicity smiles down at the older woman. "I'll leave you two alone." 

Isabelle promptly ignores her as she goes to hug her mother. Mike quickly follows behind and reclaims his seat by his wife's side. He doesn't say anything, just places a kiss to her palm and holds her hand tightly in his. He grasps her hand like it's his lifeline. He's just content to be in her presence. And as Felicity watches Mike—sit vigil by Alice's side, looking up at her with equal parts wonder and concern—there's absolutely no question how much he loves her. And it tugs at something deep within Felicity. Something she's been desperately trying to bury. 

Shaking her head, she turns around and ducks out of the room. Once she steps out into the hallway she sees Ray's back as he talks to Anna. 

"But really you should get some rest." She's rubbing his arm when Felicity steps up. Anna turns to her. "You both should. Like I said, we won't know anything till the scans come back. You guys don't have to be here right now." 

"Can I stay for a little longer? I want to make sure my dad's okay too." 

Anna nods. "Of course." 

Ray turns to Felicity as she tries to stifle a yawn. 

"You should go home. I'll meet you back at your place." 

"Are you sure?" 

He nods. 

"Okay...I'll get a ride from Eddie so you can stay with your dad." 

Ray bends down to kiss her forehead before turning and heading back into the room with his mother and sister. 

"Your fiancé's a good guy." Anna says once they're the only ones in the hallway. 

Felicity nods. "Yeah, he is." 

* * *

"I can't believe you're a cop now." Felicity yawns. 

Eddie looks over at her. "Well I can't believe you're a blonde now." 

Her childhood friend had been more than happy to drive her home when she asked. And she was grateful, it had been a very long day and she didn't feel like she should be trusted behind the wheel of a car, she was too tired for that right now. 

Felicity shrugs, touching the hair at the end of her ponytail. "Yeah but...Eddie-freaking-Thawn, a cop?" She laughs shaking her head. 

They had grown up in Vegas together and known each other since middle school. Never in a million years did Felicity think he would go into law enforcement. 

"Detective." He corrects half-heartedly. "And I spent enough time in the back of a squad car that I decided it was about time I learned how it felt to sit in the front of one." He smirks. 

She sighs sleepily, "I'll say. That's definitely a one-eighty. I would have never imagined it in high school." 

"That's because we were committing petty crimes in high school." Eddie laughs. "Right here?" He asks as he turns onto her street. 

"Yeah, this is me." 

He pulls up to her apartment and turns off the engine. "Okay, I'm going to be in Starling for a few more days so you call me if you need anything." 

She nods. "Thanks Eddie." 

"No problem Smoak." 

Felicity gets out of the car, the garment bag holding her wedding dress in her hands. She's not quiet sure what she's going to do with it yet. As she walks up the steps to her place Mr. West's door opens. 

"Iris hi," she greets, "visiting your dad?" 

The girl smiles, "Yeah I was just checking in on him. I was sorry to hear about your wedding." 

"Oh you heard about that?" _Why am I not surprised?_ "Yeah..." 

"Is your mother-in-law going to be okay?" 

Felicity unlocks her door. "I really hope so. I'd stay and chat with you longer but I'm really tired." 

Iris smiles and shakes her head, stepping away from her father's door. "No it's fine. I completely understand." 

Felicity gives her a small smile. "Goodnight Iris." 

"Goodnight." 

As she enters her apartment, she drops her keys on the nearby table and makes a beeline for the bedroom. She doesn't brush her teeth, doesn't take off her makeup, doesn't even change, she just hangs up the garment bag and promptly passes out on top of her covers. 

* * *

Felicity wakes up slowly, groggily, blinking many times to adjust her eyes to the light spilling out from her window. She forgot to close the curtains last night. She forgot to do a lot of things last night, she notes, taking in her rumpled clothes. 

Felicity crawls out of bed and walks over to her bathroom. She turns on the shower then turns back to the mirror while she lets the water warm up. She's meet with the reflection of her make up smudged face. _I look like a sad clown_ , she thinks. Wetting a small towel, she wipes her face and strips her clothes before stepping into the warm awaiting water. 

Her brain, not one to be kept quiet, replays the conversation with Alice at the hospital. The woman's words left her feeling strangely lighter; filling her with a sense of peace that she hadn't felt in too long. But she was right. Alice is right and Felicity knows it. 

She's out of the shower, dressed in sweatpants and drying her hair, when there's a knock on the door. It's Ray. He looks tried, his face hallow and pale, but he's in jeans and his hair is damp so at least he showered. 

"Hey...How's your mom?" Felicity asks by way of greeting, stepping aside to let him in. 

"The same," Ray sighs, "my dad hasn't left her side." 

She rubs his arm as she closes the door. "Can I get you anything? Water, tea...?" 

He shakes his head. "No. I'm fine. Thank you." 

She nods and follows him as he settles down on the couch. He turns to look at her as she sits down and she can see on his face that he doesn't want to talk about his mom, it's killing him that there's nothing new he can say. "I'm sorry about yesterday." He says instead. "With Isabelle saying you're not family...don't listen to her." 

"Well she's right. I'm not, technically." 

"Not yet," he's quick to correct, "but in a few months we'll fix that and—" 

"You want to try again?" Felicity asks, surprised, "In a few months?" 

"Yeah...unless you want to do it sooner...or later. It doesn't matter to me, as long as we're married." 

"Ray, why do you even want to marry me?" She asks, exasperation close to coloring her voice. 

His face scrunches up. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean your mom is in the hospital right now. If that's not a sign we're not supposed to get married then I don't know what is." 

He shakes his head, moving to hold her hands. "Felicity, I don't believe in signs. I only believe in you. And I still want to marry you." 

"No, you really don't." His eyebrows knot together and Felicity has to take back her hands to push her hair away from her face and take a deep breath. "Ray when you called off the wedding and left...it wasn't just doubts that I had. I acted on some impulses and I—I cheated on you." 

He's quiet for a minute, then, "Felicity, what...?" 

"But it wasn't just that night." She blurts out, because if she doesn't do this now she's afraid she never will. "I've been unfaithful to you." 

"With Oliver?" 

She snaps her head to look at him in shock, her wide eyes holding unshed tears. 

"Well don't look so surprise," he looks away from her and down at his hands, "it's not that much of a reach." 

"How...how did you know?" 

He releases a heavy breath. "I've know for a while I suppose..." At her expression he continues, "Not necessarily about you sleeping together but...Do you remember the night we met?" 

Felicity nods. "At that fundraiser." 

He smiles wistfully. "Right. You saved me from the stuffy party and all that boring mingling. We ended up talking almost all night and at one point your phone went off. When you looked down at it and saw the caller ID, your face...it lit up. Because it was Oliver calling." 

Felicity looks away, remembering what he's recalling. 

"And I remember thinking 'wow, what a lucky guy to elicit that kind of reaction from this girl' and I knew that all I wanted was to be able to do that to someone. And then when I met him and saw the two of you together...when the two of you would talk or get into a heated argument, I knew that the place could go up in flames around you and the two of you wouldn't even notice." 

"Ray..." 

"I was surprised when you agreed to go out with me. And overjoyed when you agreed to marry me. And I think that happiness allowed me to fool myself into thinking that maybe what the two of you had...was just a leftover spark from something old and forgotten. I tried to convince myself that if I tried hard enough one day you'd look at me the same you looked at him..." 

Felicity's eyes water. "Ray I...I never wanted to hurt you. Believe me, that was never my intention." She swallows hard and blinks back the tears clouding her vision. "I would have never agreed to marry you if I didn't love you, if I didn't think that I could—" 

"Love me more than you love him?" He finishes her sentence. 

She looks at him, nodding sadly, tears falling freely from her eyes now. "I am so sorry Ray. Really, I am. You're a good man and deserve so much better. I should have told you the moment it happened." 

"You tried didn't you? When we were cake testing," he recalls sadly, "I just didn't want to listen." 

Her voice cracks against her will. "I'm sorry." There's not much else she can say. 

"I know. I just...I need some time. To process." He starts to get up, running a hand over his face. "Could you just not come by my office or the hospital for a while? I just, I can't see you right now." 

Felicity nods quickly, wiping her tears away. "Of course, whatever you need." 

He walks over to her door opening it, then he stops. "Felicity?" 

She rises, turning around to face him, the couch between them. 

"If I could forgive the cheating, give up on going to Gotham, promise you we'd work things out...it wouldn't change anything would it?" 

She shakes her head softly, pressing her lips together tightly. 

"I never had a shot, huh?" 

"Ray you are the perfect man." She assures him, giving he as much of the truth as she can because he deserves nothing less. "When I agreed to marry you, I was promising you something that I had no right to give because it doesn't belong to me. I had given my heart away 5 years ago when I met my best friend. And even after all this time...he still has it." 

Ray contemplates that for a second. Then he nods and closes her door behind him. 

* * *

Oliver wakes up to a pounding headache. 

"Hey buddy, welcome back to the land of the living." Tommy says, walking up with a cup of coffee in his hand. 

Oliver winces. "Too loud," he groans, putting up his hands to shield his face from the light seeping through his windows. 

Tommy offers him some Advil. Oliver pushes back his blanket and takes the pills from Tommy's hand, swallowing them dry. He takes a moment to take in his surroundings; he's in his living room. "Why am I on my couch?" 

His friend snickers. "Because that's where you passed out." Tommy says, lowering himself to take a seat. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. And usually I'm the one who shows up to family events trashed." 

"I wasn't trashed." Oliver argues. 

Tommy laughs, setting the cup down on the coffee table. "Sure Ollie, whatever you say. Anyways, I brought you back here after Palmer's mom fell and they had to rush her to the hospital, effectively cutting the wedding short." 

Oliver sits up, reaching for the coffee cup in front of him. Tommy reaches out to smack his hand away. "I didn't bring that for you dude. That's mine, get your own." 

He narrows his eyes at Tommy then looks around curiously. "What time is it?" 

Tommy looks down at his watch. "Almost 2." At Oliver's surprised look, he shrugs. "You passed out hard." 

"I'd say." Oliver groans, stretching out his arms. 

"I told you, you're getting too old for this." 

He shakes his head. "Enough quips about my age." 

Tommy picks up his coffee cup. "Alright, then tell me why you even did it?" 

"Did what?" 

Tommy side-eyes. "Showed up hammered to the wedding. Because your excuse about wedding's being boring is bullshit and we both know it." 

Oliver shakes his head and pushes the blanket off him. "Later. I need a shower...and some caffeine first." 

His friend takes a sip of his coffee and smacks his lips thoughtfully. "Needs more creamer," he decides, getting off the couch. 

Oliver rubs a hand down his face, heading toward the cabinet where he keeps his towels. “So did they set a new date yet for you to flight down again?" He calls over his shoulder. 

He hears rustling in the kitchen before Tommy's reply. "What are you talking about?" 

"The wedding." Oliver stands up with his towel in his hand. He asks out of necessity, he didn't handle yesterday well and he really doesn't need a repeat of his fight with Felicity in her dressing room. Maybe he'll schedule something on the new date so he has a valid excuse not to show up. Visiting relatives, a business trip perhaps... 

"No. But I doubt they'll be setting another date." 

Oliver stops on his way to the bathroom, frowning. "Why do you say that?" 

"I don't know." His voice getting closer now, "Just a feeling I have." 

He stands in front Oliver and shrugs, holding something in his hand. 

"Oh by the way, I printed this out the other day," Tommy says, placing what he's holding in his hand on the dresser next to him and walking away, back to the living room, "you should frame it, it's nice." 

Oliver looks down at the dresser, it's the picture Lyla took at the rehearsal dinner of Sara, Tommy, him, and Felicity. 

* * *

Felicity wakes up with her head on her mother's lap. Her cheeks have dried tear streaks and her nose is stuffed from crying herself to sleep. Donna plays with the ends of Felicity's hair. It's not as bad as last time she had cried all night, this time it was different and the crying felt cathartic. She shifts in her mother's lap, turning her face up until she can see her. 

Donna smiles kindly at her then gets up, setting Felicity's head down on the couch, and makes her way to the kitchen. Felicity lies there and, noticing a box of tissues on the foot of the couch, grabs one and blows into it. 

Donna comes back a little while later with a mug, she hands it to Felicity. The young blonde looks into the mug curiously. She had assumed it would be water but it looks like tea. She raises her eyes up at her mother in questioning. 

Her mom shrugs. "Walter taught me how to make it." She says dismissively. 

Felicity takes a sip, humming as the warm liquid coats her throat. It's good, better than she expected. Donna rubs her back soothingly as Felicity drinks the tea. Her mom has calmed down a lot, Felicity notes, partly because of Walter. Since meeting him she just seems a lot more settled and motherly. It's nice, but strange to witness at times. Like now. Donna just sits quietly letting Felicity drink, not badgering her with questions. 

"Do you want to talk about it honey?" She asks quietly. 

"Which part? I've managed to screw a lot of things in the last couple months." 

She continues to run soothing circles on her daughter's back. "Why don't you start with why you were crying?" 

Felicity hiccups into her cup. "Ray and I broke up, I told him I cheated on him with Oliver." 

"Oh honey..." 

"So of course I ruined that and ruined my relationship with Oliver. Because that's what I do, I ruin things." 

"Sweetie you don't ruin things." 

"I do," Felicity insists, "You know when dad promised he'd never leave us and then he did, I swore I would never break a promise like that. And in my attempt to not break a promise I made, I ended up destroying everything around me." 

Donna holds her close. "Darling you don't destroy everything, you just sometimes...go about saving things the wrong way. Like your goldfish when you were ten?" She laughs, "You just refused to admit that it was dead because you promised yourself you would keep it alive. Honey that thing stunk up the entire apartment." 

Felicity smiles at the memory, despite her mood. 

"Or that relationship with that god-awful boy your first year at MIT. What was his name?" 

"Cooper." 

"Yes Cooper! Oh baby, you gave him too many chances and he ended up hurting you." 

Felicity sniffles. "Yeah...that was dumb of me." 

"You just want to see the good in everybody baby. And you have yourself too low on your list of priorities. Not everyone is your responsibility, you have to stop taking that on." 

She turns in her mother's arms, sniffling. Donna pushes her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. "Everything just fell apart, I thought I could keep it all together but I couldn't." 

"Maybe that's not such a bad thing baby. Yes, you hurt Ray with your confession but at least you were honest. And better now than later. I never wanted what your dad did to us to have such a lasting impact on you. And yes, your relationship with Oliver isn't at it's best right now but your love story has had many twists and turns and I wouldn't close the book just yet." 

Felicity cocks her head in questioning. 

Donna laughs. "Oh baby girl don't you think I've known just how long you've been in love with that boy? I could hear it the first time you talked about him over the phone." 

Felicity blushes, looking down into her tea. "I didn't think I was that transparent." 

"Maybe not to other people but you're my daughter, I know you. And I could always tell how in love you were with him." 

"Well it doesn't matter now, he hates me." She says, remembering their last encounter and the heated words that were exchanged. 

Donna curls her finger underneath Felicity's chin, catching her eye. "I've seen the way he looks at you baby girl. Trust me, a love like that...it runs deep. It doesn't just go away." 

Felicity sets her mug down on the coffee table then turns to hug her mother tightly. "Thank you for being here mom." 

"Oh course baby, anytime." She pulls back. "So what are you going to do now?" 

Taking a deep breath, Felicity starts to play with her industrial piercing. _What am I going to do now? That's the million-dollar question._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Break-ups are hard, bet some of you never thought you would see the day huh? But atlas, it's all out on the table now and Palmer-Smaok wedding is officially no more.  
> I'll admit, even I got a little tear eyed on the plane, redoing that breakup scene.
> 
> I posted a little one-shot, something completely separate to this story. Just something different, if you guys are interested: [Storm and Quicksand](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4672253)
> 
> I have officially started classes in university again so I will try my best to work around my schedule to give you guys a chapter a week as this baby starts to wind down. 
> 
> Tease of the week: "I know this is strange on so many different levels but...you should call [blank]."
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Leave me a prompt on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	19. Till Death Do Us Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies,
> 
> You guys always amaze me with your responses, I'm humbled.  
> I'll go ahead and address some questions head on. 1.) For all of you wondering why Ray was so chill during that scene, he basically knew from the beginning of his relationship with Felicity that it was doomed to fail. He hoped that they'd be able to make it but in the back of his head he always suspected that the odds were against him. Also, it's not in his character to exploded or throw a tantrum—that's just not him. And, he and Felicity had a very sweet relationship but it was passionless, they are intellects so they followed their heads and not their hearts when they were together. 2.) Felicity can't just hop into bed with Oliver now. I'm glad people were bringing that up because it's true. 3.) After finishing my restructuring of the story I estimate we'll have 23-24ish chapters in total (and we're already at 19), but I'll let you know if that changes.  
> So we're heading into a mini arc, which is the stage of healing before we get to the forgiveness stage.  
> I'm currently living that unbetaed life, this is the result :)
> 
> Enjoy

Felicity leans against her kitchen counter, stirring her coffee distractedly. After her mom left yesterday, Felicity had gone about finalizing her decision. Which meant doing damage control and calling all their guests to let them know—yes Alice was doing much better now thank you—and that the wedding was called off. Permanently. And that wasn't a phone call she was particularly happy to make, especially nearly a hundred times. 

But she figured it was her duty and that Ray would be, understandably, busy with his mom. So she weathered the questions and the outrage and the confusion that her news was met with. She endured it all, alone, and by the 30th phone call she was emotionally exhausted and needed a break. 

So she was hesitant to answer a knock on her door, and surprised when she saw it was Ray. 

"Ray....oh. What are you—" 

"She's gone." He had croaked out before collapsing into her arms. 

Apparently the cancer had spread, like cancer does, and Alice's fall had been too much for her weak body to take. And since the doctors didn't get the results of the scans immediately, they couldn't see that her injuries were far worse than a simple fractured hip and wrist. They had no way of knowing that such massive damage was even a possibility since Alice had kept quite about the new pains she had been feeling. Not wanting to worry her children, she didn't tell them or her doctors about the new odd symptoms she had been noticing that were clearly a side effect of the cancer growing and manifesting. By the time the doctors were able to figure it out Alice was already gone, having drifted into sleep and never woken up. 

Felicity had learned all this through muffled tears as Ray had tried to tell her everything. She listened to his words in between broken sobs but she had been too shocked by the news to react. So she had simply held him and let him cry, murmuring her sorry and reassurances into the crown of his head. He had stayed like that for a long while, his huge body in her small arms, and she had rocked him to sleep, his sobs slowly turning into snores. 

And now she's in her kitchen, brewing him a fresh pot of coffee. She's not quiet sure what she's going to say to him, the realty of what he told her is just hitting her now. Alice had passed away in her sleep, the results not coming fast enough to let the doctors know what was wrong. Not that they would have been able to do much about it apparently. And now that she has a moment to herself, a part of Felicity breaks for Alice. Because she loved that woman like a mother and Alice, up until the very end, had proven that she saw and loved Felicity like a daughter as well. And now this woman, this beautiful and strong woman, is no longer a part of her life. Felicity is not quiet sure how to wrap her head around that concept. 

Soft creaks on her hardwood floors let her know Ray's awake. She looks up, the noise having pulled her out of her thoughts. Sure enough, his head peeks around the corner moments later. He's dressed in old sweatpants, leftover from his drawer in her place. They hadn't gotten to the "empty your drawer" stage of their breakup yet. 

"Morning," she says softly, taking in his appearance. 

His hair is flat on one side and uncombed, he has scruff on his normally clean shaved face, and his eyes are bloodshot 

She holds up the mug to him, "I made you some coffee." 

"Thanks." He takes it from her hand and seats himself at the breakfast bar. 

She waits a moment before she walks over on the opposite side, afraid to make any sudden movement or noise. "I'm sorry about your mother." 

He sighs deeply, holding his shoulders rigidly. "It's just...hard to believe that...." He shakes his head. "I just keep think she's going to call or something. That's stupid right?" He looks up at her, his eyes wide and sad. 

Felicity shakes her head. "It's not." 

He drops his head into his hands and takes a deep breath before looking up. 

"I'm sorry about coming over unannounced, I just—" 

"Ray," she cuts him off, "stop. Don't apologize." She steps closer to him, making sure he can see the truth in her eyes. "Years together don't just go away because we're not getting married anymore. We're still important to each other. And I loved Alice like a mother." She tells him sincerely. 

He smiles sadly. "She loved you too." 

Felicity places her hand over his lightly then moves away from the bar, heading to the fridge. “I don't suppose you're interested in eating anything?" She asks over her shoulder. 

"I'm not sure if I can stomach anything solid right now..." 

She turns around, leaning against the sink. "How's your dad holding up?" 

Ray runs a hand through his hair. "I can't tell if he's still in denial or if he came to terms with it already a long time ago. He didn't really react when they confirmed it. Either he knew all along that this was going to be the outcome and he's been preparing himself....or deep down he doesn't believe it. Isabelle and Sebastian stayed behind with him, I couldn't stand being in that hospital for another minute." 

Felicity nods slowly, picking up her abandoned coffee off the counter. 

"Listen...I know me showing up here kinda goes against the whole 'don't come by my office, don't come by the hospital' thing..." He begins hesitantly, looking unsure of himself. 

"Don't worry about it," she assures him, shaking her head, "I won't hold it against you." 

He relaxes a little. "Thank you." 

"Besides," she says over the rim of her mug, "I think I'm going to go away for a while anyways." 

"Really?" Ray seems surprised by this. 

"Yeah. I haven't been home in some time now, having Donna here these past few days made me realize how much I miss her and how long it's been." 

"What will you do over there?" He asks, seeming grateful for the change in topic, if only momentarily. 

"I don't know yet. But I think it'll be good for me. I spent so much time being other people's version of me that I kinda lost myself along the way. I need to discover myself again. Figure out who I am away from Oliver and..." 

"Me?" He asks knowingly. 

She nods, holding her mug close to her face. "Yes…You." 

His phone beeps then and she moves to retrieve it, handing it to him then stepping away. 

He looks down at the screen. "Isabelle wants me back at the hospital, there's some stuff that needs to be signed." 

He gets up from the bar stool and finishes his coffee in one gulp. "Thank you for...everything. I gotta go." 

"Oh Ray!" He stops in his tracks and turns back around while Felicity moves over to the side of the sink. He flips over the cup sitting on the edge of the drying rack to retrieve her engagement ring. She had taken off to wash the dishes after breaking things off with Ray and just left it off. It didn't feel right on her finger anymore...not that it ever really did. 

"Um, Here." She says softly, handing it to him over the counter. The act feels very symbolic. 

He studies it for a moment before nodding his head in thanks and pocketing the ring. 

"Can I offer you a word of advice?" She sets her mug down and places both elbows on the counter. "I know this is strange on so many different levels but...you should call Anna." 

"Anna?" He cocks his head in surprise. 

"I saw the two of you at the hospital, she still has feelings for you. I mean she's the one that got away right?" 

Ray looks down sheepishly and it's ridiculous, this whole conversation is ridiculous. But they only ever acted as placeholders in each other's lives. They were never meant to make it down the aisle, Felicity can see that clearly now. 

"She texted you while you were sleeping and I didn't read it but...you should ask her out before she leaves." 

He shakes his head, huffing out a small laugh. "Thank you Felicity, for the advice. And I hope you find what you're looking for." 

They give each other a small nod before he he's out the door, closing it behind him. 

* * *

"So how long do you have this place for exactly?" It's not the first time Thea's asked this question and tried to be subtle about it. But she's spent so much time at Roy's place; she practically dominates the entire closet. Her stuff is littered all over his apartment and she sleeps in his bed every night. The only problem is that his place is too small for the two of them and the neighborhood isn't that great. So it's not beyond the realm of possibility that they would move in together, Thea just can't figure out why Roy's being so cryptic about it. 

"Well when I got this place it was only meant to be temporary..." He says carefully, coming to sit across from her in his small kitchen table, placing a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon strips in front of her, "so the agreement is valid for another couple of weeks." 

"Perfect." Thea says happily, swiping a piece of bacon off the plate and munching on it. "My lease is up soon and it would be more convenient for me to move somewhere in this area since it's closer to Verdant and I'll be spending even more time there with the grand opening fast approaching. How would you feel...about moving in together?" 

"Thea, I would love to move in with you." 

"Great. So it's—" 

"But..." 

"There's a but?" 

Roy looks down at the tablecloth. "It's something I've been meaning to talk to you about actually..." 

She puts down her bacon. "What is it Roy?" 

He chews on the inside of his cheek, his eyes still glued to the table. "I'm leaving." 

He doesn't elaborate. 

"What exactly does that mean?" Thea demands. 

Roy takes a deep breath. "It means they're shipping me out at the end of the month." 

"And when were you planning to tell me this?" 

"I'm telling you now." 

She grabs her bag off the floor angrily, the feet of her chair protesting loudly against the floor as she pushes away from the table. "You know that's not what I meant." 

"Thea where are you going?" He hurries after her while she makes a beeline for the door. "Thea!" 

"I can't believe you. You knew all this time didn't you? And you let me believe that you were staying for good?" 

"I never said that. Thea, how was I supposed to know we were going to reconnect?" 

She turns to face him, poking him in the chest. " _You_ were the one who showed up at my club looking for me." 

"Because I wanted to see you, to apologize," he explains, "I thought maybe you'd have a boyfriend, that there would be some big guy throwing me out, telling me to leave you alone." 

"Well I'm sorry to inform you Roy," she fixes her purse strap on her shoulder, "there's only ever been you." 

She turns to leave and he stops her, keeping her in place. "Thea please, let's talk about this." 

"Talk about what? That since you've been back we've been on borrowed time and I didn't even know?" 

He pleads with her. "Look, this might not have been my choice originally but in the army, doing what I do, I'm good at it and I do good with it. Why can't you see that please?" 

She looks at him, her hand tightens on her bag. "I'm sorry but I don't do all that well with people I love putting themselves in danger." 

She steps away from him and out the door, leaving Roy standing in the middle of his crummy apartment. 

As she stomps down the stairs, her phone rings. 

She answers it distractedly. "What is it?" 

"Thea..." Sara's voice is careful; it makes Thea pause. 

"What happened?" 

"It's Alice...she died." 

Thea feels the weight of the words sit heavy on her chest. And she realizes there's only one place she has to be right now. 

* * *

"Here you go." Oliver places a bowl of chips on the coffee table in front of them. 

Felicity smiles at him, not taking her eyes off the screen. "Thanks." 

Her apartment was being fumigated so she was spending the day with him in his loft and then she was going to spend the night with Ray. 

He props his feet up on the coffee table. "Not that I don't love having you here, but why can't you be at your fiancé’s place?" 

"He's not home right now." She says with her eyes still firmly glued on the screen. 

"Sooo?" He prompts. 

She sighs and waits for a commercial break then angles herself toward him. He straightens, happy to have her full attention. 

"I don't like being at Ray's place when he's not there." 

"Do you not like his place?" 

She shakes her head. "No, his place is fine. I just...don't like hanging out there when he's not around." 

Oliver cocks an eyebrow at her. "Why don't you guys just move in together?" 

"We will," she says, shifting on the couch, "once we get married." 

Oliver shakes his head, about to ask her something else but then the commercial break ends and her attention is on the TV once again. 

"I didn't know you were such a big baseball fan." 

"Oh yeah. Huge." 

"Huh." Oliver remembers her delight when they went to Fenway Park, but he had assumed it was more the park itself than the actual game. 

He sits back on the couch, noting her tense posture and her shaking leg. She worries her bottom lip and he can't hold back his smile because she looks so adorable. 

He keeps from say anything until finally the team gets its third out and cuts to a commercial break. "Wow, so you're _really_ into baseball." 

Felicity turns to him, her brow wrinkled before she smiles. "Does that surprise you?" 

"Well after three and a half years I thought I knew everything there was to know about you." 

She throws her head back and laughs, relaxing into the couch. "See, I knew hubris would be your downfall Oliver, you're too sure of yourself." 

"So you're telling me don't think you know everything about me too?" 

"Oh I do," she agrees, "the only difference is I know I'm right." 

At her cheeky smile he straightens. "Wanna bet?" 

"By all means, I'd love to see you loose." 

He scoffs. "Okay Felicity, you're on." 

She cracks her knuckles then winces. "That looked better in my head." 

He chuckles softly at that. 

She taps her chin thoughtfully. "You've never told anyone why you named your gym The Gambit right?" 

"No," Oliver smiles, "not even Diggle, it drives him crazy." 

"Well I know you so well I can tell you why." 

"Really?" 

"Yup." She's radiating confidence. 

He narrows his eyes. "Alright, you've peeked my interest. I'll bite. Tell me, Felicity, why did I decide to name my gym The Gambit?" 

"Well Oliver," she crosses her legs Indian style, arranging herself into a more comfortable sitting position, "the reason you choose The Gambit is because you know that the real gambit is trusting someone else with your hopes and dreams. And that's what you ask your clients to do, to entrust you with their dream bodies, to believe in your ability to make it happen." 

He's taken aback. She smiles triumphantly. 

"Not bad..." 

"Now let's see what you got Oliver." She challenges. 

He thinks for a moment. "Okay. If you were to ask anyone who _thinks_ they know you, they would say that your go to stress alleviating food would be mint chocolate chip ice cream." 

She nods, eyeing him carefully. "Yes. Everyone knows that." 

"Yes, but who knows that when you've had a _really_ stressful day, when ice cream just won't cut it, you stress eat...icing straight out of the container." Felicity laughs, throwing her head back. "Oliver!" 

"What?" He smirks, enjoying her laughter. 

"So you have been paying attention." 

He shrugs, smiling happily. 

* * *

Felicity looks out the window as Sara pulls up right next to the "Unloading Passengers Only" sign. For some strange reason, traffic had been hell on the way to the airport. But with Sara behind the wheel Felicity had total confidence that they would make it on time. And they did. It was just sheer luck that Felicity was able to find the last possible seat on the flight back to Las Vegas. Walter had been called into work with some emergency at the bank, so he, Barry, and Donna were going to take an earlier flight back home and Felicity jumped at the opportunity to join them. 

"You sure about this babe?" 

She turns to look at Sara. With the car in neutral she can turn in her chair and fully interrogate Felicity on her decision. 

Felicity smiles at her friend. "Yes Sara I'm sure." 

She raises and eyebrow skeptically. 

"Hey, I'm finally doing something for myself. This is all me and I'm sure about it." 

"I'm going to miss you." 

Felicity smiles, pulling Sara in for a hug and ignoring the seat belts holding them back. "Do you know when you're going to be able to get leave again?" 

Sara shrugs. "Not sure. I'm just going to spend the rest of my time in Starling with Laurel before she goes back to San Francisco." 

Felicity nods, agreeing with her plan. "You should probably make sure to see your mom too before you go." 

"Yeah...after everything that happened with Alice, I feel like I need to spend some time with my mom." 

Felicity feels a fresh wave of sadness wash over her at the mention of Ray's mom. 

"So they're really not going to let you attend the funeral?" 

"Isabelle is in charged of all that stuff and she doesn't want me there. But I sent flowers and I got to talk to Mike on the phone for a little bit. I guess that'll have to do." 

Sara shakes her head. "That isn't right..." 

"I'm going to be in Vegas anyways, it just wouldn't have worked out." 

"Speaking of things not working out..." Sara says softly, watching as a couple in front of them embrace passionately before one gets back in his car and the other goes inside the airport, pulling her suitcase behind her, "Are you sure you didn't want to see Oliver before you left?" 

Felicity bites her lip, watching the same scene as Sara. "I can't see him in person. Not after how we left things last time, not after...everything." 

"What did he even say to you?" Sara asks, turning to look at her. "Because when I walked in the room that day the atmosphere was...tense." 

"I can't think about that right now. I don't even know if he really meant what he said or if he did it because he was angry.... There's a reason I chose to say goodbye to him the way I did, it's just better like this, less messy. I've made enough messes where Oliver is concerned already." 

"You think Eddie's there yet?" 

"I don't know." Felicity sighs then looks at the clock on the dashboard, "I have to go, I don't want to miss my flight." 

"Right." 

Sara helps her take her luggage out of the trunk. And once she's settled on the sidewalk she gives Sara another big hug and promises to call once she lands safely. 

* * *

"What?" Oliver fears he's going deaf now. He has to be, or else he could have sworn he heard Tommy say— 

"That's right man," comes Tommy's voice over the phone, "apparently Felicity's been calling everyone to let them know and Sara just texted me the confirmation a little while ago. They officially called the wedding off." 

Oliver rests the back of his head against the fridge, taking in the information. 

"You didn't get a call or something?" 

"No. No one told me anything." 

"Mmm," Tommy muses, "that's strange. But then again I found out through word of mouth. I wonder who else knows?" 

But Oliver can't think about that right now. Instead his mind is racing to figure out why this is happening and why now. He knows Palmer's mom took a fall and is in the hospital but that couldn't be reason enough to call off an entire wedding. Then he remembers his conversation with Felicity before the ceremony and his drunken confession. 

_"I'm marrying Ray because he asked, because he wants a life with me and—"_

 _"And what? You don't think I do too?"_

Could that have had an effect on the decision to call off the wedding? He remembers her reaction after he had slurred those words. She was shell-shocked, stunned, as if she couldn't imagine him ever saying that. But the words were true, truer than other things he'd told women in different states of inebriation. Oliver just didn't know it for sure until he had seen her in that white dress in the back of the chapel... 

There's a knock on his door, snapping him back to reality where Tommy is still saying something on the other line. 

"Tommy, I gotta go. There's someone at the door." 

"Maybe it's Felicity, telling you the news in person. If it's her, ask her why she didn't make a house call for me and instead I had to find out through the grapevine." 

Oliver barely hears Tommy's jesting words before he hangs up the phone and opens the door. 

"Oh Ollie!" And suddenly his hands are full. "Thea?" 

He looks down at his sister who is currently wrapped around him, burying her face in his chest and...is she crying? 

"Speedy, what's wrong?" He tries to pull away so he can get a better look at her but her hold on him is tight. 

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. So sorry." She just repeats over and over, the words mumbled into his chest and lost in her tears. 

"What are you...what are you apologizing about?" 

She looks up at him, her eyes big and puffy. "Ollie, didn't you hear?" 

"About the wedding? Yeah Tommy just—" 

"No," she shakes her head quickly, "not that. It's about Mrs. Palmer. She—she's dead." She hiccups the last words, clutching the fabric of his shirt in her small hands. 

"Oh, Thea..." He rubs her back soothingly, knowing how close she had become with the old woman in the last few months. 

"And all I could think when I heard the news is that mom thinks I hate her and dad thinks I hate him and you!" Her eyes are watery and her nose is red. "You think I hate you and I don't. I don't Ollie. I couldn't bare the thought of something happening to any of you before I got the chance to tell you that I forgive you and I love you. I don't hate you, you're the best brother." 

She continues to cry into his shirt and all Oliver can do is hold her. 

"Speedy, I know. I know that. I love you too and I'm sorry." 

She shakes her head, her hair tickling Oliver's chin. "I love you so much." 

* * *

Eddie looks down at the address one more time to verify he's in the right place before picking up the piece of paper on the passenger seat and opening the door. He hops out of the car and jogs to the door of the apartment building. He puts his hand on the door right as it swings out open. 

"Woah there." 

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I didn't hit you did I?" Asks a beautiful woman, her face pinched in worry. 

Eddie looks at her for a moment. "I know you, don't I? I met you outside of Felicity's apartment." 

He watches her face light up in recognition. "Yes. You're the cop right?" 

"Detective." He corrects half heartedly, mainly out of habit. 

"Sorry." She switches her bag from one arm to the other and holds out her hand. "I'm Iris." 

He takes her hand, shaking it. "Eddie." 

She smiles at him. "Nice to meet you, officially, Eddie." 

"It's nice to meet you too." 

She flashes him another smile before making her way down the steps and onto the sidewalk. 

"Iris?" Eddie calls out. 

She turns to him. "Yes?" 

"Would you...like to go get a drink or have dinner sometime?" 

She tilts her head in contemplation. "How about drinks at dinner?" 

He smiles, very taken by this girl. "It's a date then." 

"It's a date. Goodbye Eddie." 

"Goodbye Iris." He says, watching her walk off. 

He shakes his head and goes into the apartment complex. Once inside he sees the elevator is broken so he takes the stairs two at a time before he reaches the floor indicated on the scrap of paper in his hand. He holds his fist up to the door and knocks twice. There's a slight shuffle inside before the door is opened revealing a tall man with blue eyes. 

"Oliver?" 

"Yes..." The man says suspiciously, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"I have something for you." Eddie tells him, holding up the folded piece of paper. 

Oliver eyes it for a moment before slowly taking it from his hand. "What's this?" 

"It's from Felicity." And at his words Oliver's face changes, his entire demeanor changes actually. Eddie finds in slightly fascinating. 

"It is? Then why are _you_ giving it to me?" 

Eddie shrugs. "She just sent me here with explicit directions to deliver it to you. That's all I know." 

Oliver nods then, looking at the simple piece of paper as if it might hold all the answers to the world. "Thanks man." 

Eddie nods, then moves away. He starts his descent down the stairs. 

* * *

"Who was that?" Thea asks from the couch as Oliver closes the door. Once she had finally calmed down some, Oliver was able to maneuver her to the couch with the promise that they would watch the 90's romcom of her choosing. Which is why she's wrapped in a blanket with a soda in hand while _Clueless_ plays on the TV in front of her. Oliver looks up at her question. "A friend of Felicity's I suppose." 

Thea nods and turns her attention back to the TV. Oliver stands by the door, staring down at the note in his hands. It's slightly crumpled, as if sweaty palms have held it, and when he runs his fingers tips over it he can feel the indent of words. 

Sparing Thea a quick glance, to ensure she’s still completely engrossed in the movie, he unfolds the paper. He's met with Felicity's messy scrawls. The note itself has a lot of words and entire lines crossed out, he can tell she spent a lot of time debating what to write. Finally, it seemed she had settled on this: 

_Oliver,_

_I hope you're actually reading this right now. If you are, thank you for giving me a chance instead of crumbling this up and throwing it away. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things actually; you can take your pick honestly._  
_I'm just so sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you I loved you sooner and I'm sorry for telling you when I did, I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I'm sorry I stop being the friend that you deserved and I'm sorry I got so caught up in my own problems that I couldn't see how much I was hurting you. I am so very sorry for hurting you._  
_And I'm sorry for what comes next, which is goodbye. I hate to have to say it this way, or write it but you get the idea, I just couldn't say it to your face. I think it's just easier this way—for everyone. All the choices I've made lately, or haven't made, have ended up hurting someone and I'm not quite sure where to go from here, or how to stop hurting everyone. So I'm leaving, I don't know for how long. Maybe permanently, I'm still not sure. But I think I need this. And so do you. Every time we say we're going to take time apart it doesn't quite end up working out for us, so I'm going to go somewhere we can't accidentally run into each other._  
_Again I'm sorry that you have to find out this way._  
_But I want you to know that I meant everything I said that day at QC. Oliver you're remarkable, you always have been, and you deserve someone special. Someone who can harness that light that shines bright within you. I hope you find her and I hope you're happy, like ridiculously happy._

_I'm sorry, goodbye,_

_Felicity_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is a series wrap on Ray Palmer, ladies and gents. Whether you liked him, hated him, felt bad for him, or were counting down the seconds till he left, his character was a sizable part of this story and I wanted to make sure I gave his departure some justice.  
> If you're wondering how Felicity could possibly leave without talking to Oliver, in her defense the last time she saw him he was drunk and they fought and she's very raw from everything with Ray and losing Alice, she needs some time to figure things out on her own.  
> Lastly, I'm curious what your thoughts on Alice's death are. It's always tough to kill off a character but it's different when it's an original character you haven't spent as much time with. So I wanna know how you guys felt about that, if you felt anything at all.  
> Hope you guys didn't think that was too sad, yeah it's pretty sad but it's all part of the healing process. Now all the characters can properly heal since I won't be killing off anyone else.  
> Like I said, 4 to 5 more chapters left so we are moving fast to the conclusion of this story. 
> 
> Tease of the week: "I'm not gonna give you any more life advice, I think I've exceeded my quota on that already."
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Leave me a prompt on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	20. So Help Me God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey errbody,
> 
> I know this is late but I can't stressed how much i underestimated how much going back to school would effect this story's schedule. But contrary to popular belief I am not pure evil so here's your next chapter. Olicity's time apart is split into two chapters. This one is in Oliver's point of view, the next one is in Felicity's.   
> This is all me, mistakes and all   
> Enjoy!

A week after Felicity leaves, Oliver finds out she still technically has her job at Queen Consolidated. She hadn't quit, although that had been her plan initially. But Moira and Robert convinced her to instead take the vacation days she was originally going to use for her honeymoon and use that for her time off. They told her that later, if she decided she was really never coming back, then she could call and resign. 

Oliver learns all this over brunch with his family, something that has become a regular occurrence after Thea decided life was too short and they needed to spend more time together. So Moira finally gets to have the allotted family time she had always been fighting for and Robert decides to take an interest in The Gambit, helping ease some of the tension that exists between him and Oliver. Which makes Oliver feel better that at least his father is putting in effort. So he reciprocates, to the best of his abilities. And the approving nods from his mother and Thea don't go unnoticed. 

He starts to put in extra long hours in The Gambit, clocking in before everyone else even wake sip and leaving well after everyone has gone home for the day. It's just like the days when he was fighting against his feelings for Felicity, something that feels like a moot point now. 

"Heard I missed quite the ceremony." Diggle comments, a couple days after Oliver receives Felicity's letter. He pulls up a chair across from Oliver's desk. 

"I'm not sure if it exactly qualified as one, I don't think it ever quite made it to that stage." Oliver replies dryly, engrossed in the papers on his desk. 

"Or lack thereof," John waves off dismissively, "but extremely eventful nonetheless." 

Oliver sets the papers aside, knowing that if Diggle wants to talk there is really no stopping him so it's useless to fight against it. "Yeah man it was, what happened to you?" 

"Lyla must have eaten some bad sushi or something, she woke up throwing up so we weren't able to make it." 

"Is she alright now?" 

"Yeah." 

"Good." Oliver leans back in his chair, foolishly hoping that would be the end of it. 

"What about you? How are you doing?" Diggle places his elbows on the desk, leaning forward. 

"Believe it or not, I don't want to talk about it." 

That causes the man to chuckle. "What a surprise." 

"I'm serious. There's nothing to say." 

Dig eyes him carefully, clearly not believing him. "Well Felicity is gone, you must feel something about that." 

"Look, she made her choice and I made mine." 

"Which was what exactly?" 

Oliver scrubs a hand over his face. "To move on with my life." 

"Ah..." 

Diggle goes quiet after that and Oliver knows that when the man goes quiet... "Ok. Go ahead." He motions with his hands to show John he has the floor. 

"What?" 

"You have that look." 

"What look?" 

"Like you're about to give life advice. So go ahead, lay it on me." 

Diggle laughs then. "I'm not gonna give you any more life advice, I think I've exceeded my quota on that already." 

Oliver rolls his eyes. 

"But I will say this," Diggle continues, after his laughter dies down, "in order to move on...you actually have to move on. And based on how long it took you to realize you had feelings for her, I think moving on is going to take longer than you expect. I mean it took you five years to see what I could see after spending five seconds with you two." 

"Right. Apparently I have bad timing." 

Diggle snorts at that. "Well that's putting it mildly. Listen, love isn't about forcing something or finding someone who fits a certain criteria. It's about finding someone who's already the right fit. Who makes you question everything and put things in perspective and ultimately...brings out the best of you. One day you will find her, and you'll know it." 

He gets up then and pushes in his chair, signaling that he is done with his talk and came to say all he needed to say. 

"Just food for thought." John pats his shoulder and walks out of the office. 

And it leaves Oliver with one pestering thought, _What if I already have?_

* * *

"Thea!" Roy wraps his arms around her quickly. "I'm so happy to see you." 

"Can I come in?" She asks after he pulls away. 

"Yes of course." He ushers her inside. 

Once the door is closed behind them, he puts his hands in his pockets nervously, keeping a safe distance away from her. He offers to get her something to drink but she declines. 

"So when are you leaving?" 

He shuffles his feet. "Next week." 

"Wow...that's fast." 

"Yeah." 

He looks up at her, trying to read her. But Thea came today to be unreadable, so she squares her shoulders and takes another step into the living room. 

"I wanted to give you something." 

Roy looks up at her curiously. 

Thea fishes through he bag until she finds what she's looking for. She holds it up for him to see. His forehead creases as he steps forward to take a closer look. She holds it out to him and he takes it, confused. 

"What is this?" 

"It's a Hōzen," she explains, "I found out later that this little rock got jammed in my engine the night we met." 

He turns it over in his hands, inspecting it with the utmost care. "It's why your car wouldn't start..." Roy says quietly, almost to himself. 

"Yes. This technically brought us together, so I want you to have it now that we're parting ways again." 

He looks up at her. "Thea..." 

"Just hear me out," she tells him, taking a step closer to wrap her hands around his as he holds the Hōzen in his hands, "going back to the army clearly means the world to you...and you mean the world to me. So even if I don't get it, I'm going to support you in this decision." 

He shakes his head and sighs sadly. "Thea I can't ask you to wait for me, it wouldn't be fair." 

"I know," she nods her head, her eyes starting to water, "but that's not what this is about. I want you to take this with you, to have something to remember me by." 

"I don't need anything for that." He assures her, his lips curving up in a smirk and causing her to smile through the tears. "But I need you to promise me something." 

"Okay..." She waits for his next words with batted breath. 

He looks down at their joint hands, choosing his words carefully. "I need you to keep going. It's what's gonna help me get though the day, when everything's going to shit, the knowledge that you're out here happy, living you life...it's what's gonna help me get through everything." 

She presses her lips together and nods her head, her grip tightening on his fingers. 

“It brought us together once, against all odds. Maybe some day in the future...it'll do it again and reconnect us." 

Roy tears his eyes away from their joint hands to look at her face, and her tears are mirrored in his eyes. "I'd like that." He says softly. 

Thea puts her arms around him and he reciprocates, the Hōzen pressed between them. 

"I'm always going to love you Roy Harper." She mutters into his neck, trying to memorize his scent. 

She feels him smile against her hair. "And I will always love you." 

* * *

Tommy snatches the paper right from his hands. "You're moping." 

Oliver looks up, seeing his friend round the back of the couch to come sit on the edge of the arm rest, a half eaten apple in his hand. 

"I'm not moping..." 

"Yes you are. You've been moping since I brought you back from the wedding...well since even a little before then, but it's gotten worse this past month." Tommy takes a huge bite into his apple. 

Oliver sighs and drags a hand over his face, resting his elbows on his knees. 

"See! Right there. Moping." Tommy explains between bites. 

Oliver groans and rolls his eyes, getting up to throw away his plate. 

"Diggle thinks so too!" Tommy calls behind him. 

He stops at the sink. "You talked to Diggle about me?" 

The man just shrugs, biting into his apple. "I just assumed he'd said something too since he sees you at work all the time. And you're not exactly a ray of sunshine these days." 

"You don't say..." Oliver grumbles under his breath, pushing off the sink to join Tommy in the living room. 

"I just think you need to talk about it man, that's all...maybe it'll help." 

"Doubt it, talking about it hasn't help." 

"Well," Tommy slides off the armrest and down onto the cushion, "you haven't tried talking about it with me." 

And he's right. Oliver had tried his best to keep his friend in the dark about everything that had happened with Felicity. But it hadn't really helped matters at all. And looking back to the conversation they had when Tommy first returned to Starling, Oliver can see that Tommy was already so much more perceptive than him. Maybe he really did need this, Tommy's opinion and counsel in the matter. Maybe that what was he had been missing this while time. If anything, it couldn't hurt... 

"Ok." Oliver finally says. 

And Tommy's eyebrows shoot up in surprise as he leans in. 

"I'll tell you..." 

So he does. Oliver tells him everything, from the first night to the confrontation in her dressing room last month. And through all of it Tommy remains quiet, uncharacteristically quiet. His face betrays nothing, staying perfectly neutral through Oliver’s entire story. 

"Well..." Tommy says finally, after he hears everything, "the two of you definitely know how to wet the bed." 

Oliver wants to roll his eyes. "That's not helpful Tommy." 

His friend puts his hands up in surrender as he leans back on the couch. "Sorry it's just...man, you guys really fucked this up." 

Oliver covers his face with both hands. "I'm well aware of that." 

Tommy shakes his head. "How did I not know about this? I could have called this back in college." He muses. 

"A lot has changed since then." 

"Not everything..." Tommy looks lost in thought before his eyes refocus. "Did you really tell her you wanted a life with her?" 

"Yeah..." 

"While you were _drunk_?" 

Oliver winces. "I'll admit it wasn't my best moment." 

"I'll say." 

"And then, she left me with this." Oliver pulls out the crumbled piece of paper from the tableside drawer and hands it to Tommy. 

He reads over it quickly. "So she's gone gone?" 

"It would appear so." 

"Where to?" Tommy asks. 

Oliver shrugs. 

"Surely you could ask someone if you wanted to know." 

"That's the thing Tommy. I'm not sure if I _want_ to know." 

Tommy looks down at the note again before shaking his head. "It doesn't say why she called off the wedding." 

Oliver stares straight ahead. "I'm assuming it has something to do with Palmer's mom dying." 

"Huh," Tommy takes another bite of his apple, "so you don't think it has anything to do with you?" 

Oliver turns to him in confusion. "Why would it have anything to do with me?" 

"She calls off her wedding after you show up to the chapel and tell her you want a life with her. She leaves town and tells no one where she's going but takes the time to write you this letter..." 

Oliver frowns at Tommy's words. 

"Timing seems like too much of a coincidence, doesn't it Ollie?" 

* * *

"Delivery for Mr. Queen." 

Oliver turns around. A mailman stands by the door with a clipboard in his hand. 

"Yeah that's me," he says, stepping closer to the man. 

The guy nods. "Okay, sign right here." 

Oliver takes the clipboard and signs, wondering what it is he could have order for the gym and forgotten about. 

"Thanks, I'll be right back with your packages." 

_Packages?_

Sure enough the deliveryman comes back through the door, wheeling a dolly holding three big boxes stacked on top of each other. 

Oliver stares at them in confusion. "All of this is for me?" 

The guy shakes his head. "There's a couple more in the truck." He unloads the boxes and leaves to get the rest. 

Oliver steps forward curiously and takes a letter opener from the front desk to open up one of the boxes. "Diggle?" He calls over his shoulder. 

"What's up man?" John strides over. 

"Did you order this?" Oliver opens the box up wider for Diggle to see. 

"No. But are those..." John reaches in. "Adjustable weights?" His eyes light up. "We can really use these!" 

Carrie rushes over and peeks into the box as well. "Ooh! New yoga mats! And the good stuff too," she kisses Oliver on the cheek and grabs all the mats she can hold in her arms. "Thanks boss!" Carrie runs off to put the mats in the dance room. 

The deliveryman returns then, wheeling in three more boxes. "Ok, that's the last of them." 

"I didn't order any of this." Oliver tells him. 

Carrie frowns, returning to retrieve the mats she couldn't carry on her first round. 

The deliveryman shrugs. "I don't know what to tell you. It's all paid for already. I just deliver, I don't ask questions." 

He tips his hat and takes the dolly back out with him. 

"We can keep these though, right?" Carrie asks as she loads herself up with more mats, batting her eyes at Oliver. 

"I don't know..." He fishes through the rest of the box and finds bare bells at the very bottom. 

The box underneath that looks like it holds a calf machine and two others have printed pictures of leg curl machines on them. One looks like it holds pull up bars, another appears to carry dumb bells and wall balls. All in all, it seems like an expensive bunch of high-end equipment. 

"Come on boss," Carrie pleads, "the guy said it was all paid for already." 

"I know. That's the part I don't understand." 

"Maybe the company messed up or something." Diggle shrugs. 

"Maybe..." Oliver's voice trails off as he eyes the rest of the stacked up boxes, but he isn't convinced. 

Diggle places a hand on his shoulder. "Don't sweat it man. It's already paid for, just think of it as a birthday gift." 

He nods tightly. And John smiles broadly, his attention back on the weight in his hand. 

* * *

"Ollie your phone's ringing!" 

Oliver huffs, stepping out of the shower. "Could you get it?" 

"What?" Comes Thea's distracted response. 

He shakes his head and wraps a towel around himself. He rushes, dripping wet, down the hall, hearing the continuous ring of his phone. By the time reaches it, on the table behind the couch Thea is sitting on, he's missed the call. 

He sighs, eyeing the unfamiliar area code. 

"Thanks Speedy." 

She half turns around, briefly looking away from the screen where she's playing a game. 

"Oh, your phone was ringing." 

"I know," he says slowly, "I asked you to get it for me." 

She shrugs, her eyes flicker to him for a moment before she turns her back to him, attention back on the screen. "I have a thing about picking up other people's phones." 

He quirks a brow at her, "I don't ever recalling that being a "thing" before." 

Oliver can practically see her roll her eyes as she argues, "If you're talking about Becky Cooper, your girlfriend from 8th grade, I was ten years old then." 

"So what, it doesn't count?" 

"Statutes of limitations." She says easily. 

Now it's Oliver's turn to roll his eyes. "Fine, Speedy, whatever." He starts walking back towards the bathroom. 

"Hurry up, I don't want us to be late to your birthday dinner." 

"I'll be out in five." He assures her, staring down at the phone in his hand. 

It was probably just a telemarketer who called him...or maybe a distant relative wishing him a happy birthday. But they left no voicemail... Oliver can't shake the feeling like the number is somewhat familiar to him; something tugs on the edges of his brain. 

"Ollie! Hurry up!" 

Oliver grabs a towel to dry his hair and sets the phone down. He'll figure it out later. 

* * *

"Oliver!" Moira comes up to hug him; he leans down so she doesn't have to get up on her tippy toes. "Happy birthday my beautiful boy." 

He hadn't walked in the door of the restaurant more than a second ago before he was meet with cheers of congratulations. It's funny, Oliver doesn't really see the point of making a big thing of someone's birthday, especially his. _It's just another year that you don't die_ , he thinks. Felicity had rolled her eyes at him when he first told her. "You gotta start looking at the world with rose colored glass Oliver." She had teased him, stealing a fry. 

"Thanks mom," he smiles at her as she pulls away. 

Tommy walks up then and clasps his shoulder, a huge smile on his face. "It's the man of the hour!" He turns around and stops a waiter carrying a tray of food, "Excuse me sir, did you know it's my best friend's birthday today?" 

Oliver rolls his eyes at Tommy's antics. 

"Son," Robert stands from the table, "happy birthday Oliver." And then, in a move that surprises him, he gets pulled into his father's embrace. "I'm very proud of you son." 

And this is a new thing, Oliver isn't used to getting any type of praise from Robert, especially not verbal acknowledgement. So he can't help but wonder what has caused this shift. 

They all take their seats at their reserved table. 

"We already ordered your favorite Oliver." Moira assures him before he can even look at a menu. 

Tommy nudges him. "And I hooked you up with the good booze so don't worry about that either." 

"Thomas!" Moira chides. 

Tommy has the decency to look somewhat embarrassed. "What? It's harmless." 

Thea laughs. 

Oliver shakes his head and smiles, looking around at the table. And although he loves his family and he's more than happy his friend can join him this year...he can't help but feel like something's missing. _Someone_ , to be more accurate. 

He can practically see her in his mind's eye, in her usual spot between Tommy and Thea. Talking shop with Robert and joking with Thea, paying strict attention to everything Moira sassy and laughing at everything Tommy does. And he never noticed how seamlessly she fit into his life until she wasn't here anymore. 

Thea pats his hand over the table and his eyes snap to her. She's studying his face so he shoots her a smile, trying to convince her that everything is fine. But Thea doesn't buy it because she gives him a sad smile and squeezes his hand. Almost like she knows.... 

* * *

"Hey." 

Felicity looks up, a smile instantly lighting up her face. Oliver loves that he always seems to have that effect on her. "Hi. What's up?" 

"Just came to take you out for lunch." He says, stepping further into her office. 

She shakes her head a bit, putting the folder in her hand in her desk drawer. "I'd love to, but my break isn't for another half hour." 

"So?" 

"Oliver..." She tries to chastise him, so he gives her that special little smile reserved just for her, whenever he tries to coax her into something. 

"What's the point of being friends with the boss's son if you don't reap the benefits?" 

She laughs at him and shakes her head. 

"Aw, c'mon." He leads, stepping further into her office, "I cleared it with your boss already. You're good to go." 

She quirks a brow at him, "You spoke to your dad?" 

He hesitates. "Not in so many words..." 

"Oliver," she starts again, and he feels like a student who is about to be reprimanded by a teacher. 

He holds his hands up, palms out. "We won't take too long." He promises. "Come on, heading out a few minutes early won't kill you." 

She purses her lips, but he knows her well enough at this pint to see that it's all for show. She made up her mind already. "Ok fine. But I'm serious; I can't be gone for too long. Your dad just put me in charge of—" 

"Hold that thought," Oliver says, holding open the door for her and placing his hand on the small of her back as he leads her to the elevator, "that's sounds fascinating but it seems like lunch talk and I'm starving." 

She rolls her eyes at him as he presses the button for the elevator. "Fine. But we're taking my car." 

He frowns at her. "What's wrong with my bike? It can get you there and back faster." 

"Be that as it may," the elevator rings, signaling it's arrival, and she steps into it, "I don't want to come back to work with wind blown hair. Besides, your bike is impractical." 

At his clearly offended look she laughs. "Impractical?" He asks, incredulously. 

"Yes Oliver. It's the perfect way to describe your death trap." 

At that his eyes widen further. "Death—? I am an excellent driver!" 

She giggles, the sound so clear it almost makes him forget that she is insulting his driving. "You are but that thing still scares me." 

He opens his mouth then shuts it, looking forward as the elevator doors open to the parking garage. "I can't believe this is how I get treated for taking you out to lunch." 

She smiles warmly up at him and leads him to her mini copper. 

"Talk about impractical..." Oliver grumbles as he settles into the passenger seat, "Have you ever thought about getting a normal sized car?" 

She throws a smirk his way as she starts the engine. "My car _is_ normal sized, you're not." 

He shakes his head. "I still think it's your ridiculous car." 

"Hey!" Felicity places her hand lovingly on the dashboard. "Don't talk about Ophelia that way." 

Oliver rolls his eyes, trying to hide his smile. 

"So what are you feeling?" 

"Hmm," she thinks about his question as she pulls out if the garage. 

"Jitters?" He suggests. 

Her face lights up. "Yes. I've been dreaming about their Panini and there is a blueberry scone in my near future." 

He laughs at her, nodding his head. "Jitter's it is." 

* * *

Oliver shakes his head out of the memory as he pulls up to the Tarmac and shuts off the car. 

"So I've been thinking about the letter." Tommy informs him. 

Well _that_ was the last think he expected his best friend to say. 

"The one Felicity left you." Tommy clarifies, as if he could be talking about nay other letter... 

Oliver has to blink a couple times to gather himself. "And...?" 

Tommy turns more fully in his seat. "I think she's right." 

"About?" 

"Needing time apart," Tommy elaborates, "I think you both need time to—separately—heal and get better." 

" _I'm_ fine." Oliver tells him, hands firmly gripping the wheel. 

"You're definitely improving," he allows, "but you're not there yet." 

"It doesn't really matter anyways," Oliver looks unseeingly out the window, "she's not coming back, she basically told me to move on." 

Tommy hesitates before responding. "You don't know that for a fact yet, she's still technically on vacation according to QC. But can I ask you something?" 

The trepidation in his voice makes Oliver turn to look at him in question. 

"Why now? Why did you decide to tell her you love her now?" 

Oliver's brows knot together in confusion. "Because I just figured it out." 

"I'm sorry Ollie but that's bullshit. That's bullshit and you know it. You had five years to make a move, there's a reason you waited so long. There's a reason you picked now." 

Oliver frowns at him, feeling a distant spark of truth to his words somewhere in the back on his brain. His mind can't help but bring the memory of Thanksgiving 2012 up to the forefront of his brain but he shakes it away just as quickly as it appears. 

Tommy shakes his head. "It's just something to think about." He moves to hug Oliver before picking his suitcase up from his feet. "It was really good seeing you buddy." 

Oliver nods. "You too." 

“We’ll talk soon.” 

“Of course. Have a good flight.” 

Tommy smiles at him, then he gets out of the rental car and walks over to the awaiting Merlyn Global jet. 

The entire drive back home Oliver just has time to think about his friend's departing words. He doesn't want to look too much into it, he's almost afraid of what he'll find. Instead he thinks about moving on. First order of business would be getting rid of the letter, he should have done it weeks ago but he can never bring himself to do it... 

As he stands by the door of his loft, fiddling with his key, Iris walks by on the staircase. 

"Hi Oliver." She greets him in that friendly, neighborly way she always has. 

Suddenly he has an old memory of a conversation he had with Thea once. _You should ask Iris out, I know she'll say yes_ , she had advised him. 

"Iris?" He calls out, turning to face the stairs. 

She stops mid-step and looks up at him. "Yeah, what's up?" 

"Um...would you want to go get dinner or catch a movie sometime?" He asks, his voice casual. 

She smiles up at him before she bits her lip and looks down. Oliver hasn't asked out a girl in a while but he's not quite sure what this means... 

When Iris finally flips the hair out of her face and looks up, her eyes are soft. "I appreciate the offer Oliver but...I started seeing someone and it's, it's getting pretty serious." 

Oliver nods. He should have expected as much, _always did have horrible timing..._

But he smiles at Iris nonetheless. "Well I'm glad to hear that, congratulations." 

She smiles shyly at him. "Thanks...I'll see you around?" 

"Of course." He unlocks his door. "Goodnight Iris." 

"Goodnight." She calls back, making her way down the stairs. 

As he enters the loft he shakes his head. Thinking back, Thea was right, Oliver could have easily asked out Iris any time since he had moved in and she probably would have said yes. But then where would that have left them? Iris was very pretty and a nice enough girl but she wasn't... 

"You alright?" Oliver's head snaps up. "Why do ask, Speedy?" 

Thea eyebrows draw down as she studies him from her place on the couch, ready for movie night. "I don't know...you have a weird little smile on your face." She tilts her head. "Are you okay?" 

He shrugs off his jacket. "I will be." 

And it's true. Things with his parents are improving, his relationship with Thea is better than ever, The Gambit is profitable, thanks primarily to mysterious order mix ups that result in him getting free equipment.... things are looking up. The only thing that's missing is a person to share it all with. He thinks he knows just the girl too, unfortunately he has no idea where she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's go see how Felicity is doing, shall we?
> 
> Tease of the week: "Just make sure you know when your vacation stops being a vacation and starts being an avoidance of your life."
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Leave me a prompt on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	21. Forsaking All Others

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people,  
> I would like to preface this chapter by saying that every since the idea for this story was born, once I figured out what it could become outside of a one-shot, at its root it was always intended to be a journey of self discovery, particularly for Felicity. It was always going to be about figuring out who she is and what she wants, more deeply than just simply who she wants. So very early on during its conception I knew she was going to have to leave in order to figure that out. So let's see how she does, shall we?  
> And as a quick little aside I want to say a couple things:  
> 1\. Never when I started this did I think we would get to the season premier and if still be writing—that's insane  
> 2\. Speaking of the premier, it blew my mind! I loved it so much!!  
> Enjoy!

Felicity stares down at the phone in her hand. She's not going to call him. She did that once already and it's a good thing he didn't answer, she tries to reason, what would she even say? It was her idea to give him space; she told him she needed it too. How would he feel about her betraying that? 

_But it's just to wish him a happy birthday..._

And it's true. Felicity hasn't missed a single one of Oliver's birthdays since she found out when it was the first year they met. Well, "found out" is putting it mildly; she basically had to force it out of him. Oliver has a weird thing about birthdays, he doesn't believe in celebrating them, especially his own. 

She had scoffed at him when he first revealed that little piece of information to her all those years back. 

"Oliver that's ridiculous." 

"I don't think so." He had stated, shrugging. 

She had rolled her eyes at him, "You gotta start looking at the world with rose colored glasses Oliver." To prove her point she slipped on some aviators while stealing a fry. 

"Well first, that is mine," he had said, gesturing to the fry in her hand. "As are these." And then the sunglasses were plucked off her face. 

She had frowned. "I was trying to make a point...in style." 

It was Oliver's turn to roll his eyes. 

Felicity looks back down at the phone in her hand. _It's good that he didn't pick up_ , she tries to convince herself. Maybe it's the universe's subtle way of reminding her that she's already caused him a lot of pain and confusion. Maybe she should just stay out of his life altogether...but her stomach selfishly knots at the mere thought. 

"Felicity!" Donna calls. "Are you done with the phone? I need you out here!" 

She hurriedly puts the phone back on the receiver. 

* * *

When Felicity first arrives in Vegas, she approaches the baggage claim and is greeted by an ecstatic Donna. She hurls herself at Felicity, almost knocking them both over in the process. Donna is all hairspray and sequence. 

"I'm so happy you're here baby girl!" 

Felicity smiles at her. "Mom you just saw me a few days ago." She reminds her gently. 

Donna pulls back, holding Felicity by the arms. "I know. It's just good to have you home." 

Felicity nods. "I know. It's been too long." 

Walter insists on carrying her luggage, which isn't much considering. Felicity packed in a rush, in a daze. She wasn't thinking long term or practical, the need to get away was so overwhelming it drowned out all her other sense. 

_But you still left him a letter_ , she so kindly reminds herself. Felicity shakes her head, she regrets that. She hadn't had an easy time composing it either, her words all falling over themselves. She had practically crossed out the entire thing and given up before finally just folding in half and shoving it in Eddie's hand. 

Arriving at her mother and Walter's house, their car makes the long ascend up the winding driveway. Getting out of the car, she looks up at the beautiful house and takes in a deep breath, the dry Nevada air filling her lungs. Instantly Donna, talking a mile a minute, shuffles her inside and settles her into the guest room. 

Donna moves around the room, gesturing to the new bedding and curtains. Walter comes up then, carrying her two suitcases in his hands. "Is this all?" Donna asks curiously. 

Felicity looks down at the meager luggage. "Yea...I didn't really plan how long I was going to stay..." 

"That's fine honey," her mother assures, moving closer, "there's no rush." 

"Of course Felicity you know you are welcomed to stay for as long as you liked. This is your home too." Walter says from the door in his polished English accent. 

Felicity nods, eyeing the nearly empty coolly air conditioned room. 

* * *

Felicity steps out the house and into the backyard. "Mom?" She calls out. 

"Over here honey, I need your help!" 

She follows the voice to porch that wraps around the house and finds Donna struggling to hold together a small gazebo that looks dangerously close to falling apart. 

"Mom!" Felicity quickly rushes forward to assist her mother. "Why are you doing this by yourself?" 

Donna flips her hair out of her face as she tries to force the pieces of wood together that hold up the mini gazebo. "Because I can. I used to build stuff like this all the time when you were little." 

"No," Felicity corrects as Donna struggles, "you used to break stuff like this all the time...and burn all the food." 

Her mother shrugs. "Same thing." 

Felicity tries not to roll her eyes lovingly. "Mom that is the not the same thing." 

Donna's face scrunches in concentration as her tries to snap the two pieces of wood together. "Ok. Let go, I think I've got it." 

Felicity lets go slowly while she and Donna take a cautious step back. The small gazebo stays in place. Donna beams and jumps on her toes. "See! I told—" 

The gazebo comes crashing down. 

"Oh." 

Walter pulls up the driveway at that point. "Donna?" He asks carefully as he steps out the car and eyes the mess of wood planks in the yard. "What's going on?" 

She smiles sheepishly at him. "I tried to build the gazebo!" 

_Try being the operative word..._

Walter sighs heavily. "Darling I told you to wait until I got back." 

"But I didn't want to wait. I know I can do it myself." 

He opens his mouth to say something but then takes in Donna's dirt stained clothes and the sweat on her forehead. He sighs and shakes his head. 

"You're maddening woman," he tells her softly, causing Donna to smile up at him warmly. 

She leans into him. "I don't recall you ever complaining about that before." 

He smiles down at her, his eyes full of warmth and love. "Then I must be the mad one." 

They kiss. 

Felicity has to look away. 

* * *

Two weeks into being back in Vegas, Sara flies down. She just comes for the weekend, a quick pit stop before heading back overseas, but Felicity is thrilled to see her nonetheless. 

"Is it weird that stopping here to see you before I take off feels like I'm slowly accustoming myself to being back home?" Sara asks as they lounge in chairs by the pool. 

Felicity turns her head. "What do you mean?" 

"The dry heat." Sara shrugs. "It reminds me of home." 

Felicity quirks a brow, "Starling or Central City?" 

"Afghanistan." 

She lowers her sunglasses to look at her friend. "You consider that your home?" 

"Yeah..." 

Felicity tilts her head in curiosity. 

Sara runs a hand through her hair and lets it fan out over the back of her chair. "Starling City is were I was born and Central City is where I was raised and Boston holds some of the best, most formative years of my life but...I've never felt more myself than when I'm in the dessert sleeping in a tent or having lunch in the mess hall with my fellow soldiers." 

"Is this about Nyssa?" 

Sara smiles fondly at the thought of the tall brunette. "Yes...and no. Nyssa, she changed things for me, that's true. But when I'm out in that field...I've never felt more at home. Part of it is Nyssa and part of it is that I've found my niche. I'm happy out there so that's home for me." 

Felicity contemplates this, chewing on her bottom lip. 

* * *

"I can't believe I'm saying bye to you again. You'd think I'd be better at it by now." 

Sara looks up and gives her a sad smile. "I know F, I hate saying bye to you too." She pulls her into a hug. "But we will keep writing to each other and John and I exchanged info so we will definitely be Skyping. And I'm tempted to drop in on Tommy, make sure he's keeping himself out of trouble." 

Felicity laughs at that. 

"But really, I'm going to miss you." 

"I know. I'm going to miss you so much." 

They pull apart. 

"But since I'm leaving, I think we should talk about the one thing you carefully avoided all weekend." 

"Being?" 

Sara gives her a knowing look. Felicity sighs. 

"I don't want to talk about Oliver..." 

"That's the thing," Sara says, placing her hands on her hips, "I think you desperately do but aren't allowing yourself to and I don't know why." 

"Because what is there to say?" Felicity's shoulders slump. 

"How about the fact that you basically told him to move on in that letter you sent him?" 

Her eyebrows knot, "How could you possibility know that?" 

"I have my sources," Sara waves off dismissively, "but that's not the point right now. Why would you tell him that?" 

Felicity touches the edge of her glasses. "Because he should. He deserves it." 

"But he's in love with you." 

"Sara—" 

"It's true. It's always been true. You say you want him to be happy but you don't get that being with you is what would make him happy." 

Felicity turns away and walks over to the window. "That's what he thinks but..." 

"But what? What aren't you telling me?" 

She takes a deep breath. "It's stupid." 

"Clearly it's not if it's affecting you this much." 

"It's— remember Thanksgiving 2012?" 

Sara's eyebrow crease at the seemingly random question. "Yes. It was our first all friend Thanksgiving. Because of the blizzard none of us were able to fly home. But I don't see what this has to do with anything." 

"When Oliver came over the night Ray called off the wedding and kissed me to calm me down...it wasn't the first time he's done that and it wasn't the first time I thought there could be more between us only to be let down." 

Sara closes her eyes and shakes her head. "Wait, you guys have kissed before? How did I not know about this?" 

"Because we never told anyone." 

"That's why you guys were acting so weird that night." 

Felicity nods, looking down. 

"So what happened?" Sara asks, taking a step forward. 

Felicity is mentally transported to that night in the condo Tommy was renting. The smell of pumpkin pie and burnt meat was wafting in the air... 

"I was freaking out about internships and whether or not I was going to be able to afford living in Starling after graduation like I wanted to... " 

Felicity had been pacing Tommy's room and Oliver had watched her all the while with a concerned look on his face. 

"He was trying to get me to breathe, coax me into coming back out into the dining room." 

But nothing had been successful. Felicity had continued to pace and Oliver had continued to look on, worried. And then when she turned around she ran full on into his chest, she hadn't expected him to be so close... 

"And then he kissed me." 

It had been so sudden, so unexpected, it took her a moment to respond to the kiss. And once she did, she melted into it. 

"And then what happened?" Sara asks, breaking Felicity out of her memory. 

"Then he pulled away and promised we'd talk about it later. And he went back to the dining room, back to the date he had brought with him, that criminal justice major." 

"McKenna?" 

"That's the one. And we never spoke about it again." She wraps her arms around herself. 

Sara's face breaks in sympathy for her friend. 

"So when he did it again—comfort me by kissing me—I tried to not read too much into it, I tried not to let it fill me with hope..." Her voice breaks as she remembers the Thanksgiving dinner that seemed to last forever as she sat across Oliver and McKenna and watched them laugh and snuggle all throughout the meal. 

Sara takes another step forward, reaching out to rub Felicity's arm in comfort. "But it's different now," she assures her, "Oliver loves you, he told you so." 

"Yeah but so did Cooper and so did..." 

"Your dad." 

Felicity looks up at Sara, meeting her knowing gaze, and nods slowly. 

"But Oliver's not Cooper...and he's not your dad. He's not going to leave you." 

Felicity wipes her nose and looks away. "Why not? Everyone else has...and he has more that enough reason to." 

"I know you're scared...that's normal. But you can't end it before it's even begun. It's not fair to him...and it's not fair to you." 

Felicity shakes her head and sighs, "Why are you such a good friend to me?" 

"Because I love you. Even when you're afraid to let people love you, I love you." Sara smiles, taking Felicity's hand in her own. "You gotta give him a chance." 

"But now I'm the one who doesn't deserve a chance. I messed up so many things between us, the best thing I did for him was to leave." 

Sara shakes her head. "Don't you ever get tired of sounding like a bad soap opera?" 

That manages to coax a small smile out of Felicity and Sara smiles in triumph. 

"It's awful, I feel like I've been crying for the past 5 months," she swipes her fingers underneath her glasses to catch the moisture at the corner of her eye, proving her point, "but I can't talk to Oliver, I can't—I can't look at him after everything." 

"So what? You're just going to erase him from you life?" 

"What? No." Felicity can't even fathom the idea. 

"Then what?" Sara asks with her eyebrow arched. 

"I'll stay here..." She's put some thought into the idea. She can teach computer class at her old high school and there's a nice little condo that just went up for sale... 

"Here?" Her friend asks incredulously. 

Felicity nods, looking around her mother's house. "I think I can have a nice life here, be closer to Donna. It was home once, it can be home again." 

Sara shakes her head. "It's not home anymore for you babe, it won't ever be." 

* * *

"Felicity?" 

Donna's voice breaks her out of her reverie. She looks up to find her mother standing at the edge of the lawn and Walter knelt by the wood stack that once made up the gazebo, trying to figure out how to put it back together. 

"Can you check to see if you have some extra earring backs? These keep falling off." 

Felicity nods and heads back into the house and up the stairs, towards the room she is occupying for the time being. She makes a beeline for the small jewelry box sitting on her dresser. It's one of the few items from their small apartment that actually made it to this new big house. There's a sense of nostalgia that comes with the box, Felicity remembers watching her mom get ready for work, pulling out that most beautiful pieces of jewelry from the box. Eventually it was passed down to her and it was hers until she left to MIT. 

She searches through the box now, knowing that there are some earrings at the very bottom left behind, they didn't make the cut when's she moved to Starling. Spotting some big dangling ones at the bottom, she remembers Donna's work friend giving them to her, joking that Felicity could wear them when she started working at Caesar's. 

Felicity shakes her head, reaching her hand into the very bottom to fetch the earrings. Her fingers graze some cold metal, it causes her to pull back and peer in. At the very bottom of the box, past the earrings, is a simple silver chain. Felicity's breath catches as she pulls out the necklace. She holds it up to the light; a delicate little arrow sits in the middle of the chain, catching the light and sparkling. Felicity is taken back immediately to the day when she received the necklace... 

_The air is buzzing with energy and excitement as the graduates arrange themselves on the lawn chairs. It's a sea of red and gray and black as Felicity wrings her hands, her body wracked with nerves._

 _"Felicity."_

 _

She turns around. "Tatsu." She smiles, reaching out to grasp her roommate's hands. "Aren't you supposed to be lined up in alphabetical order?" 

Tatsu smiles. "Yes, I am on my way there. But someone wanted to see you." She tilts her head, gesturing with her chin and Felicity follows her eye line. 

"Oliver!" She throws her arms around him immediately. 

"I'll leave you two." 

"Thank you Tatsu." Oliver says over his shoulder, smiling at the woman before turning his radiant smile towards Felicity. "So...nervous?" 

She tucks her hair under her cap securely. "Of course...I can't believe you guys had your graduation before us, so unfair." 

Oliver smirks, his eyes shining with mirth. "Well as your elder in this situation I can give you some solid advice in this matter." 

"Oh, shut up." She slaps his arm playfully, laughing with him. 

"If you're going to be mean, I won't give you your gift." He warns, teasingly. 

Felicity bites her lip. "You got me a gift?" 

"Of course. But if you don't want it before the ceremony..." 

She smiles shyly at him, nodding furiously. 

Her chuckles at her response, pulling out a small box from his pocket. He holds it up for her to see then takes off the lid, revealing what lies inside. Nestled in the box is a silver arrow attached to a chain. Felicity's not sure what she expected, but it wasn't this. She's overwhelmed by emotion while staring at the necklace. 

"Do you like it?" Oliver asks, somewhat nervous. 

Felicity looks up at him, tearing her eyes away from the chin. "Oliver it's...you really shouldn't have.... I don't know if I can accept this..." 

He shakes his head. "Felicity, do you like it?" He pronounces every word carefully, with purpose. 

"I love it, it's beautiful." Her eyes land back on the chain. 

Oliver smiles and takes the necklace out, walking around behind her to tie it in the back. Felicity feels as the cool metal settles on her collarbone. She lets out a shaky breath. For some reason, it feels like this moment holds a lot of weight. 

Oliver comes back around to face her. "It looks good on you." He beams. 

"Oliver, thank you." She steps forward and wraps her fingers around his hand, making sure he understands how deeply she means the words. 

He smiles back at her and it feels like they're frozen in time.

_

The small arrow dangles in between her fingers and she looks down at it. She can remember that moment in perfect clarity. And she remembers being completely heartbroken when she thought she lost it when she was packing up to go to Starling. It must have ended up with her Vegas stuff. She can't believe she's holding it now; she had been so certain it was gone forever. Looking up at the mirror hanging on the wall, she puts the necklace on and clips in the back. It feels like she has a little piece of Oliver with her and she's never been happier or sadder. 

* * *

Towards the end of her second month back in Vegas, Felicity gets a surprise visitor. She's hunched over a patch of dirt in the front lawn, struggling to burry a seed. Donna had mentioned that the front yard needed more color so Walter had gone out and bought a multitude of seeds. And Felicity, starting to get cabin fever and needing something to do, had misguidedly volunteered to plot them. A decision that was currently biting her in the ass. 

As she leans over the dirt pile she made, cursing her poor decisions, she hears a car pull up the driveway. And she doesn't think much about it until she hears a door open, wheels hit the ground and a car door slamming shut. The rustling behind her catches her attention and makes her turn around. 

Felicity watches as a taxicab makes a u-turn and drives down the driveway, becoming smaller in the distance. The car leaves behind a person, a woman, with two suitcases at her feet. 

Felicity straightens and stretches her body out, her muscles aching in protest. She puts her hand out above her eyes, trying to stop the sun from blinding her. 

"Thea?" 

The young Queen smiles, rolling her luggage behind her. "The one and only. Your favorite." 

Felicity is shocked as Thea makes her way up to her. Once she's standing in front of her, Felicity has not yet regained her wits. 

Thea frowns. "Are you not happy to see me?" 

She shakes her head, breaking herself out of her shock. "Of course...Thea!" 

The brunette wraps her arms around her and Felicity reciprocates, hugging her closely. 

"I can't believe you're here! Wait—" Felicity pulls back and tilts her head, "why are you here?" 

Something flashes briefly through her eyes before Thea shakes it away. "Because I wanted to reprimand you for leaving without saying goodbye." 

Felicity ducks her head. "I'm sorry. It was a hectic time and a spare of the moment decision. I didn't really say goodbye to anybody." 

"I know," Thea fiddles with the handle of her suitcase, "that's why it was hell finding you." 

She quirks a brow at the younger woman and cocks her get head to a side. "How did you find me?" 

Thea shrugs. "I have resources, you really shouldn't underestimate me." 

Felicity wants to laugh but... "So who else knows I'm here?" 

"No one. I figured you didn't tell anyone for a reason." 

"Thank you." Felicity pulls one of Thea's suitcases closer. "Walter's gonna be thrilled to see you and Donna...well she's going to be over the moon." 

Thea laughs and Felicity tugs on the heavy luggage. 

"How long were you planning on staying?" 

"Oh just the weekend," Thea assures her, "I can't spend too much time away from the club." 

"Judging on the size of this thing," Felicity drags the suitcase behind her, "I would have thought you were moving in." 

Thea simply laughs, following her into the house. 

* * *

Felicity is grateful for Thea's presence, she's like the younger sister she never had. And having Thea here now reminds Felicity of how important the young girl is in her life. She remembers teaching her to parallel park and showing her ‘the mint chocolate chip process’ of how to get over a failed relationship. And it makes Felicity realizes how much she really walked away from when she decided to leave Starling. 

In the two days that Thea stays in Nevada, her and Felicity talk about a lot of things while carefully avoiding two topics: Roy and Oliver. 

"I imagined your childhood room differently." Thea comments idly on her last night in Vegas. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. I was curious to see who you had on your walls, what embarrassing celebrities you had posters of." She smirks, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Felicity laughs, walking over to her closet. "Well I'm sorry to disappoint but this isn't my childhood bedroom." 

"No?" 

"Nope." She bends down to retrieve some pajama pants from her drawer. "I grew up in a small apartment off the strip with my mom." 

"Really?" Thea crosses her legs underneath her. 

"Yeah. My room was about half the size of this one. That was my room until I graduated. My mom moved in her right after her and Walter got married." 

"Hmm," Thea musses, "it's funny isn't it? If you hadn't been practically living in our house every summer then Donna would have never met Walter, they would have never gotten married...life would be so different..." 

"It would..." Felicity says distractedly, searching for her pajama top. 

"Why did you really leave Starling?" Thea asks suddenly, causing Felicity to straighten and turn towards her. 

"I told you, things got hectic, Alice died and...that was hard." 

"Yeah," Thea looks down, playing with the edge of the bedspread, "it's so weird to think that she's really gone. I miss her." 

"I do too." 

"So leaving...it had nothing to do with my brother?" 

That causes Felicity to pause. "Thea..." 

"I'm not an idiot. Oliver shuts down whenever I try to bring you up. It's another reason I didn't tell anyone that I was coming to see you, he would have freaked." 

Felicity bites her lip, unable to resist. "How is Oliver?" 

Thea looks up at her and really thinks about the question before answering. "Good...better. 

Dad has laid off him and The Gambit's really profitable. He didn't even actively complain about us celebrating his birthday." 

"Good. That's, that's really good." 

"But he misses you," Thea continues, "I can tell. Sometimes I catch him looking like he's searching for something. I know he doesn't even realize what he's doing but every time he does 

I can't help but feel like he's trying to figure out what's missing. I don't think he even knows that it's you, you are what he's missing, what he's looking for." 

"Thea..." Felicity looks down, ashamed, "trust me, Oliver is better off without me." 

She sits up straighter. "What makes you so sure?" 

Felicity clutches her clothes and walks over to the bed, sinking into the spot next to Thea. "I hurt him...a lot. He deserves better...someone who won't hurt him like I have." 

"Because of Ray." 

Felicity shakes her head. "Ray was a convenient excuse, one I hung onto, but in reality it was me. I was the reason I kept hurting him. Because I was afraid." 

Thea rearranges herself on the bed, turning her body. "Afraid of what?" 

She looks down at her hands. "Oliver is such an important part of my life, I was afraid to screw it up. That's the irony I guess, I was so afraid to ruin it that I did." 

"And you guys never tried anything in college?" Thea asks carefully. 

Felicity laughs humorlessly. "No. As much as I wouldn't admit to myself I was waiting for him. Waiting for him to take enough time in between girls to see if maybe there could be something more between us. And then he met Helena and it looked like that door was firmly closed." 

"And that's when Ray showed up?" 

She nods. "I figured I deserve my own chance at happiness. And Ray was sweet and kind and smart, so smart. He made me feel like I had gotten over Oliver. Marrying him just seemed like the next logical step to take when he asked." 

Thea draws designs on the bedspread with her fingers. "I didn't know about you and my brother. I mean I always suspected there was something more going on but I never knew." 

"I never thought to talk to you about Oliver, it'd be weird." 

The young Queen smiles secretly and shakes her head. "Yeah it would." She scrunches her nose at the thought. "But you're also like a sister to me." 

Felicity smiles. "I've always seen you as my little sister Thea." 

Thea nods, curling herself to Felicity's side and placing her head on her shoulder. 

Felicity looks down at her. "So should we talk about Roy now? What's going on with you guys?" 

"He went back." Thea sighs. 

"Oh...I'm sorry. How do you feel about that?" 

Thea shrugs. "It's his choice. Roy loves helping other people, that's the man I've chosen to love." 

Felicity smoothes Thea's short hair, impressed by the maturity level the girl is demonstrating. "So you've said goodbye to each other?" 

"Yes. Maybe somewhere down the line we'll run into each other again...who knows?" 

"I wouldn't doubt it." Felicity smiles, remembering how Roy and Thea looked at each other, she knows a love like that stands the test of time and distance. 

"So are you going to go back?" 

Thea's question catches her off guard. "To Starling?" 

"Yes. To your life, to us." 

Felicity takes a deep breath. "I'm not sure that's the best idea." 

"Why not?" 

"I told Oliver I'd stay away, let him be happy." 

"You make him happy." 

The convention in her voice made Felicity's chest tighten. "I don't know..." 

"You're basing this decision on the past few months but what about the past few years?" 

"I don't understand what you mean." 

Thea tilts her head up. "You couldn't know this, but before you came into his life...Oliver was different. I noticed the change right away, before I had even met you, before he brought you over. I could tell in his voice when he called home to check in. I would tease him about it, 'his 

_friend_ Felicity'... Oliver didn't laugh much before you, not with us, he only ever smiled when he wanted something or was keeping up appearances. He couldn't even tell my dad he didn't want to run QC before you showed up. And honestly, I liked my brother more after he meet you." 

Felicity presses her lips together and has to look away from Thea's wide eyes. 

"You should talk to him." 

"How could he ever forgive me?" Felicity barely manages to get out of her suddenly dry mouth. 

"Well...you could start by asking him to." 

* * *

Felicity steps out into the front lawn and spots Donna by the mailbox. She walks over. 

"Here you go mom." 

Donna looks down at the earring backs in Felicity's palm. "Oh thank you baby." She smiles up at her then gestures to her daughter's neck, "Haven't seen that in a while." 

Felicity's hand instantly goes up to her throat, where the arrow necklace rests. "Yeah I was surprise to find it...I thought I'd lost it." 

Donna shrugs as she fixes her own earrings. "When things are important to us, they find they're way back... I'm still waiting for you to find your way back." 

Felicity tilts her head. "What are you talking about? I'm home." 

"Baby this isn't home for you, it hasn't been since they day you left for college." 

She grabs her mother's hand. "I'm not staying here forever mom," she says, referring to the house, "I'm just taking a little...much needed vacation." She forces a smile, hoping it's convincing enough. 

Donna pats her hand in return. "Well just make sure you know when a vacation stops being a vacation and starts being an avoidance of your life." 

Felicity's eyes widen at that, it's not something she expected from her mother. "Since when did you become the parent?" 

"I've always been your parent Felicity." 

"No," she shakes her head, "you've always been Donna. Caring, loving, impulsive, naive Donna. I ended up taking more care of you half the time." 

Donna laughs and shakes her head. "Well love does that baby, it changes you." Her eyes focus just over Felicity's shoulder, on Walter. "Not into an unrecognizable person, that's not love, but into the best version of yourself. It allows you to overcome your doubts, let go of your insecurities, and face your fears head on. I'm mean you're still scared of course, that doesn't go away, but it gives you the strength to be brave about it. It allows you to free yourself from the things that chain you down... That's what love is, it's freedom." 

In the past two months Felicity has seen her mother and Walter interact in a way she hadn't ever really noticed before. She had seen them flirt, watch them make lovely doves eyes at each other, she had been there for all of that. But never had Felicity seen them argue or be on opposing sides of a topic, never had Felicity watch one come to the other and apologize, only to be meet with open arms and an equally apologetic response. Felicity had watch Donna be in a multitude of relationships over the years but how she was with Walter...it wasn't like the others. With him it was healthy, they were equals. And their love, above all else, was the driving force in their marriage. Sometimes it was difficult for her to remember that her mother and Walter had only been together for half a decade. 

"I think...I'm going to go for a run." Felicity says, eyeing the hill the house is perched on. 

Donna nods. "Okay baby." 

* * *

Felicity steps into The Gambit. It's one of their busier days and she's happy about that because when she was here last week it was pretty empty and she could tell it worried Oliver. However because of how busy they are today, Felicity also expects that he hasn't taken a luck break. 

"Hey Felicity!" Ted greets, moving away from a client and walking up to her. 

"Hi Ted." She smiles as he approaches. 

"I'm so glad you're here," he tells her, wiping some sweat off his forehead, "boss man is in a bit of a moody today, he's always nicer to us when you're around." 

She laughs. "Speaking of...do you know where Oliver is?" She asks, looking around the gym briefly. 

"In his office." Ted throws his thumb over his shoulder. 

"Thanks." 

He nods then lets her go though. Once she reaches his door she peers inside and finds Oliver hunched over his desk staring at some documents, his brow furrowed in focus. 

"Knock, knock." She murmurs softly, causing him to look up. 

He smiles when he sees her. "Felicity, hey. What are you doing here?" 

She holds up the bag of Big Belly Burger in her hand. "I figured you hadn't eaten yet." 

"Oh crap, what time is it?" 

"Two." 

Oliver rubs a hand over his face and his belly growls, confirming her suspicions. 

"Thought so." Felicity smiles, taking the seat opposite him. "I got your favorite." She pulls out his burger and hands him his fries before pulling her own out of the bag. 

He smiles gratefully at her. "Thank you." 

She nods. "Eat." 

He quickly undoes the wrapping of his burger and takes a generous bite, his eyes almost rolling back in pleasure. 

Felicity has to stifle a giggle behind her drink. And if there was any question about how hungry Oliver is, the fact that he consumes his entire burger in three more bites pretty much answers it. 

"Geez, when was the last time you ate?" Felicity laughs. 

Oliver ducks his head. "It's just been a long day." 

"Yeah, it looks like you guys are very busy." 

"It's not just that...Before you got here I was on the phone with Frank Bertanelli, he wants to have a dinner and talk about me franchising." 

Felicity puts down her drink. "And what's wrong with that?" 

"The Gambit is very personal to me. It's all about that one-on-one connect with clients, I don't want it to end up being this heartless big corporation." 

"So it won't be," Felicity insists, reaching across the table to grasp his hand, "you control what happens to The Gambit, Oliver, no one else. And if you were to open up more locations they'd be just a personalized as this one." 

His eyes move up to her. "What makes you so sure?" 

"Because I'm sure of you." 

"I always did say you should become a life coach." 

Felicity laughs then, releasing his hand and fixing her glasses. 

"I think you should take the meeting though." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yes. If anything you'll get a free meal out of it." Felicity winks, taking a bite out of her own burger. "Or you could always ask your father for his opinion." 

Oliver's face falls. "Now why would I do that?" 

"Your dad is a very successful businessman, he'll have some good insight on the situation. You have to talk to him eventually." 

Oliver leans back in his chair, looking up into the ceiling. "I'd prefer not to." 

"He misses you Oliver. He doesn't say it but I know he does." 

He rolls his eyes. "Whose side are you on anyways?" 

"Yours. Always yours. And I think that mending your relationship with Robert will be good for you." Her phone vibrates then, a message from her fiancé. So she gets up and picks up their trash. "You're my best friend Oliver, I only want what's best for you." 

* * *

Felicity pants, her hands on her knees. She's out of breath and her muscles ache. Walking up this hill wasn't a good idea, especially since halfway through the walk she started to sprint up the hill. There was something about releasing all this pent up nervous energy she's had since she left Starling that felt necessary. Of course now that she's reach the top of the hill she just wants to die. 

Looking down at Las Vegas she can't exactly figure out why something feels off. It's the city she grew up in, she's spent most her life here. It's where Donna would take her to work on the weekends where she couldn't find a babysitter, it's where her dad abandoned her, it's where she met Eddie, it's where she dabbled in computer hacking, it's where she got her first summer job.... It holds so many memories yet they all feel so distant, as if she's remembering them through a veil. 

_It's not home anymore_ , the realization hits her with stunning clarity. She finally lets herself believe Sara and Donna's words. It's true. Somewhere along the way, somewhere through life, Vegas stop being home. Felicity can't exactly pinpoint when but if she had to take a guess she'd say it was the second Christmas she came home from school. It's the first time she can remember entering the city limits and it not feeling like a homecoming. She had spent the entire drive from the airport talking Donna's ear off about her adventures with Tatsu and Sara and Tommy...and Oliver. 

After she met Oliver, she found her niche in Boston. She wonders how long it would have taken for Starling to feel like home had Oliver not been by her side. And that's how she knows Vegas will never feel like home again. It doesn't matter how many hours she spends with her mom, or if she moves into that condo, or if she starts working at her old high school. Without Oliver, Vegas is always going to be missing something. 

The bright Nevada sun hits her face and tears sting her eyes, but she ignores them, works through them. Donna's right, she has run away from home. She's run away from her job and her friends...and Oliver. Because as she continued to tell herself and everyone around her that she left Oliver for his own sake, she also left him for hers. She left because she feels guilty for what she put him through, feels guilty for what she put Ray through, and she feels responsible for what happened to Alice. And she couldn't stay in Starling for another second while she was carrying all that weight around with her. But leavening and running away to Vegas didn't change anything, she's still carrying that weight and for the past two months she's tried to convince herself that it's better this way. 

But it's not, she misses her home, she misses it so much it's become an ache. An ache she's been unsuccessfully ignoring for weeks. So as she stands on that hilltop, with tears in her eyes, she takes a deep breath and tries to forgive herself. So she lets go of all her guilt and her pain and her feelings of inadequacy. And as the wind blows, wiping her hair around her face, she lets it take with it the burden she's been carrying. And it doesn't really change anything, the fault and the responsibility she feels is still with her but it's the first step. It's learning to ask, even from herself, for forgiveness. 

When Felicity feels her eyes open she does feel somewhat better, lighter somehow. And now she's ready. Ready to go home. Home to QC and Thea, to Caitlyn and her apartment...and to Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked if I had a twitter so I made one special for my writing: katanaqueen_ here you'll find all my updates on how chapters are going! maybe little spoilers or teasers and you can feel free to ask my questions, ask for one shots, and harasses me about updates :)  
> What do you think, time for olicity reunion? Well this is scary and exciting with the end rapidly approaching.   
> A lot was cut from this chapter and it has many more flashbacks than usual but hopefully it's understandable.   
> And I can say, very happily, that it's the last angsty/wanna slap some sense into Felicity chapter. She knows what to do now and she's ready to fight (but it may be a little different than what you're expecting)
> 
> Tease of the week: "I liked watching you do that."
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Leave me a prompt on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	22. Waiting Period

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> I know it's been forever and I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Trust me it's not on purpose. If you follow me on twitter then you know my life's been really busy lately but I'm posting these as soon as I crank them out. And I'm really humbled by the amount of love this story continues to receive.  
> Hopefully you guys like this unbetaed chapter that is the beginning of the end to this story  
> Enjoy!  
> Also as side note I told @sacredsmoak on twitter that since she got the dialogue tease she would get a lil present so she gets a small shout out in the story ;)

Felicity stands outside the door, wringing her hands. She's nervous, she can't remember the last time she was this nervous and it didn't end in a panic attack. But she's also excited; she can feel adrenalin pumping through her veins, making her jump on the tips of her toes. 

After she came back from her run, all sweaty and out of breath, she had told—or more likely panted to—Donna that she needed to go home, that she was ready to go home. And her mom, in true Donna fashioned, squealed, hugged her, and then presented her with a plane ticket. At Felicity's shocked expression she had merely shrugged. 

"Like I said, everything tends to find its way home. Sooner or later." 

And soon after Felicity was all packed up, suitcases by her feet and ticket clutched in her hand, at her terminal, saying goodbye. 

She hugged and kissed Donna and Walter, through tearful eyes and whispered goodbyes. And then Barry stepped up to her. She was happy she had been able to spend some time with her favorite cousin before he went back to school. He had grabbed her and hugged her tight, whispering in her ear in assurance, "There are worse things than being in love with your best friend." 

And then she was off towards airport security and promptly ushered to her gate. 

And now, as Felicity looks up at the doors, she can feel herself starting to second-guess things. She should have gone to her place and showered first instead of heading straight here after getting off the plane. At the very least, she should have brushed her teeth once she landed. But she shakes those thoughts away. She spent a lot of time during her flight thinking about what she was going to say, but she knows she just has to go in there and speak from the heart. 

_Without further ado..._ She takes a deep breath and pushes open the doors, walking into the air-conditioned gym. 

She thought to call ahead on her way over here and Diggle assured her that Oliver would be here alone, working out, just as he has been for the past two months. The sound of clanking metal assaults her ears as she walks further into The Gambit. And once she turns the corner her heart constricts in her chest. Oliver, with his back to her, is currently hanging from the the third rung of the salmon ladder. Her month goes dry. It's not just that she hasn't seen him in two months and it's not just that she's missed him like crazy during that time. Both are true but neither are the reason she's rendered motionless in that spot. What keeps her firmly cemented in place is the knowledge that this is the first time she's seen him—since she's admitted how much she loves him, since she's accepted how much he loves her—that she's been allowed to linger. Never before had they been so unattached romantically—him without a date, her without a fiancé. Now she's actually allowed to stare, allowed to let her eyes linger on him, without any guilt attached. 

So she does just that, she stares at him. Felicity watches the muscles ripple in his naked back as he lifts himself up and over the next rung, watches as his knuckles tighten on the metal bar, watches as sweat dances down his neck and onto his broad shoulders. 

As entranced as she is, Felicity doesn't realize that she actually says, "I liked watching you do that," until it's too late. 

Oliver stills for a moment then lets go and drops down, landing on the balls of his feet with way too much grace than is fair. 

Felicity stands in her spot, three feet behind him, with her hands clasped in front of her and her lips pressed together firmly. 

He makes a show of slowly and deliberately taking the tape off his hands one by one and grabs his towel, using it to wipe off his face and neck. 

"You're back." He says finally, his voice low. 

She nods. But his back is still to her so she has to speak up. "Yes. I am." 

"Is this a permanent thing?" He asks, still with his voice low, still without turning to see her. 

Felicity tucks her hair behind her ear. "I'm stopping by QC tomorrow to see if your parents will give me my job back. I just had to see you first." 

He nods. But still he doesn't turn around. And it frustrates her. 

"What are you doing here Felicity?" And the sound of her name rolling off his tongue, it makes her stomach clench and her heart flutter. 

"I'm here to apologize." 

"I think you did that pretty thoroughly in your letter." 

She shakes her head, taking a step forward. "Oliver I—" 

"Why are you really here Felicity?" He turns his head, giving her a view of his profile, "Why did you come back?" 

She bites her lip. "Because I realized that this is home...and I missed you." 

He turns around then, finally, and Felicity releases a breath she didn't know she was holding. 

"I know I messed up a lot, especially between us, and you deserve a lot of proper apologies and I just want the chance to do that." 

He ducks his head, suddenly finding his knuckles very fascinating. "You made it sound like you were going to be gone forever." 

She shrugs a shoulder. "I thought I could stay away for that long..." 

He nods his head slowly, still with his eyes downcast. 

"Look, I'm not expecting you to forgive me or welcoming me back with open arms. I hurt you, I know that. And I'm not just asking for another chance...that has to be earned. I just want to talk. But I'm not going to force myself back into your life. So whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be here...I'm not going anywhere." 

Oliver looks up at her, meeting her eyes, and Felicity stands tall, steeling herself. Under his inquisitive gaze she doesn't fidget, she wants to show him how serious she is. 

"Ok." Oliver says finally. 

Felicity nods. It's not parades and flash dances or flowers and chocolate but she walked in with her heart on her sleeve and told him what she came here to say. With that she makes a move to turn away. But then— 

"Felicity?" 

Butterflies erupt low in her abdomen as she turns around. 

Oliver stands with his arms crossed, in a defensive manner, as if to protect himself. "I was sorry to hear about Mrs. Palmer." 

Felicity gives him a sad smile. "Me too..." 

"I heard you didn't go to the funeral," he shakes his head, "What I mean is that Thea told me she didn't see you there..." 

"Yeah, I wasn't invited." 

He quirks an eyebrow, looking taken aback. 

She shakes her head, her hair falling around her face. "Apparently Isabelle didn't like me any better after she found out I cheated on her brother." She tries to sound unaffected, but the hurt of it still seeps through her voice. 

Oliver's face becomes soft. "I'm sorry." 

"Thank you." 

They smile at each other, small soft ones, and Felicity imagines that looking at them now it's not difficult to feel the deep underlining years of friendship still between them. She takes another small step back. "Hopefully I'll see you around." 

"Yeah, maybe." He says and she turns around, walking out of the gym. 

Her heart is in her throat and it's beating so fast she thinks she heard him mumble "good to have you back" behind her as she walked out but she isn't sure. 

* * *

"I heard Felicity Smoak is back in town." 

Oliver stops what he's doing at the statement. It's true, Felicity is back in town and she had come to him directly. No more letters, no call, no warning, she had just shown up. And honestly, a part of him thought that maybe he was dreaming; maybe he was just imagining her. She had been a mirage to him for the past five months, so close yet so out of reach, that seeing her there before him had thrown him for a loop. She had been sure and honest, telling him she wanted to talk when he was ready and effectively throwing the ball in his court—tipping the balance of power in his favor for the first time in what seemed like forever. The only problem was he still hadn't called her. 

It's not that Oliver doesn't want to talk to Felicity, it's that he's not sure if he can. How does one sit across the woman they love after just a few months ago she had informally and quite bluntly told him to move on? 

He throws Ted a look over his shoulder. "Yes...so?" 

"So...have you seen her?" 

"She stopped by a few days ago." He says, intent on the work at hand. 

"And...did you guys...?" 

Oliver turns around to see the guy making kissing sounds and wrapping his arms around himself. He laughs then winks. 

"Are you trying to be cute Grant?" 

Ted scoffs as Oliver continues to wipe down the equipment. 

"No. That just happens naturally." He smirks around a bite of his taco. 

Oliver rolls his eyes then looks up. "Wait. How do you know that Felicity's back?" 

Ted shrugs. "My girlfriend keeps me up to date with these things." 

"Isn't Laurel back in San Francisco?" 

"She is." Grant says, his mouth full. "And she is very up to date with everything going on in Starling. She told me during our nightly Skype call." 

"Nightly Skype call?" Oliver attempts to hide his laugh as a cough. 

Ted stands up to throw away his napkin. "Laugh all you want Queen, the situations will be flipped soon enough." 

Oliver raised a brow, prepared to ask what he means when Carrie walks in and interrupts them. 

"Boss, your phone's been ringing like crazy." She informs him. 

Confused, he searches his pockets until he realizes he left his cell phone on his desk. "Thanks Carrie, could you bring it over for me please?" 

She nods. "Sure thing." 

She turns around, headed to his office, when the gym's main phone rings. Carrie stops in her tracks and changes directions, towards the front desk. 

She picks up the phone and in her cheery, professionally voice says, "Hello, thank you for calling The Gambit, where your health is our priority. This is Carrie speaking, how may I help you?" 

Oliver goes back to cleaning as he hears Carrie "mmhmm" and "ahha". And Grant keeps making kissing sound in his direction. 

"You're going to get your ass kicked." Oliver warns. 

Ted just laughs. 

"Oliver." Carrie says urgently, "Come here." 

He gets up, and jogs over to her. "Yeah?" 

She holds out the phone to him. 

"Hello?" 

"Oliver!" Felicity's voice comes through the receiver and automatically a ghost of a smile threatens to play on his lips, a reaction he is not aware of, "I tried calling and texting you a bunch but I couldn't get a hold of you. I didn't want to bother you at work but..." 

"Felicity, what's going on?" 

He hears her take a deep breath and can practically picture her worrying her bottom lip before she says, "It's Thea." 

* * *

Oliver pushes his way through the hospital, his heart in his throat. He hadn't heard much of what Felicity said after she told him there had been an incident at Verdant. He had raced of of the gym, asking Ted to cover for him. Carrie had watched with worried eyes as he jumped on his motorcycle and took off like a bat out of hell. He could barely think to follow traffic laws and stop signs in his single-minded goal to get to Thea as fast as possible. 

"Thea. Thea Queen. Where is she?" 

A nurse at the front desk looks up startled, putting hand up to touch her bun. 

"Please!" 

She shakes her head and looks down at the computer in front of her. After a few keystrokes she directs him down the hallway and to the left. And then Oliver's off again, throwing a hasty thank you over his shoulder. 

He finds Felicity at the end of the hallway, sitting in one of the plastic waiting chairs. Her knee is bouncing up and down in impatience. When she looks up and sees him hurling down the hallway she jumps out of her chair to reach him. 

"Oliver, Oliver." 

"Where is she? Is she alright?" 

"Oliver, please." She places a hand on his chest and suddenly everything comes into focus. 

His heart slams out of his chest to meet her hand and he looks down at her, seeing her clear blue eyes. 

"Thea's fine." She assures him. 

He takes a deep breath, letting his shoulders drop. 

At seeing him relax, Felicity nods. "You hung up before I could finish telling you what happened." 

"I know I got...anxious." 

She shakes her head and looks down, removing her hand. "That's why Thea didn't want me to tell you. They're stitching her up now, she'll be discharged soon." 

He nods. "What happened?" 

Felicity walks back over to her seat, beckoning him over with her head. He follows her and takes a seat next to her. 

"I came by to visit her before the club opened for the night. I heard a crash and ran up to the stock room. I found her under a ladder, broken bottles all around her. Looks like a whole shelf fell on top of her. She has a bunch of superficial cuts on her legs but a deep gash on her arm. That's what they are stitching up now." 

Oliver releases a breath and scrubs a hand down his face. 

A nurse comes out to greet them. "Here for Thea Queen?" 

He looks up. "Yes." 

She smiles down at them. "You can come see her now." 

Felicity pats his knee reassuringly and he gets up, following the nurse to Thea's room. 

Upon entering the room he finds his sister sitting in the edge of the hospital bed with her feet dangling above the floor. 

"Speedy." 

She winces. "I told Felicity not to call and worry you." 

"I'm your older brother, worrying is in the job description." He steps up closer and places his hands gently on her shoulders. 

Thea rolls her eyes. "I'm not made of glass Ollie, you can hug me." 

He smiles, embracing her carefully, cautious of her stitches. "How did this happen?" He asks, the question muffled by her hair. 

She sighs and he pulls back. "My bar back, Natalie, didn't close up correctly last night. I mean she's a sweet girl but I like the bar put away just so. And you know me, if I want something done right I have to do it myself... The ladder I was on wasn't balanced properly and I fell off, taking a whole shelf of liquor down with me." 

He shakes his head. "Well I'm just glad you're alright." 

"Miss Queen?" 

Oliver turns around to see the same nurse from earlier peeking around the corner. 

"Sorry to interrupt but we're ready for you now." 

He turns to his sister with his brow quirked in question. 

Thea slides off the bed. "They want to make sure I don't have a concussion or anything like that. It'll only take a minute." 

He nods after his sister as she follows the nurse out the door. He makes his way back to the hallway. 

Felicity stands up upon seeing him. "How does she look?" 

"Annoyed." He smirks. "They're running extra tests right now to make sure the fall didn't hurt her head." 

Felicity nods. 

"Thanks for calling me." 

"Of course. Here." She holds up a cup to him. 

"What's this?" 

"Coffee. I figured you could use it while you wait since you're not going back to work." 

He takes the paper cup from her hands. "How'd you know I wasn't going back?" 

"Because I know you Oliver, you're predictable." She takes a sip of her own coffee and moves a paper bag off the chair so she can take a seat. 

"What's that?" He motions to the bag. 

"Thea's favorite from Big Belly. I figured she'd be hungry when she got out." 

"Oh..." _I should have thought of that._

"And I got you this too." She pulls out an apple from her purse and halfheartedly tosses it to him. But being Felicity she has horrible aim and he barely catches it before it hits the floor. 

"Sorry. But that's your usual lunch, right?" 

"Uh...yeah." Oliver nods, turning the apple over in his hands. "Thanks." 

"Of course." She nods, taking a sip of her coffee and pulling out her tablet. 

He cocks his head at her, still just stunned with just having her here. She looks up and catches him staring. He looks away and takes a sip of his coffee to give himself a moment to clear his head. 

"What are you doing?" He nods to her tablet. 

She looks down. "Oh, this? Just some work." She looks back up at him and smiles suddenly. "Your parents offered me my job back!" 

He can't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "I knew they would." 

She shakes her head, looking back down at her tablet. "I didn't. I thought they would have replaced me by now..." 

_You're irreplaceable Felicity._ The words are right there on the tip of his tongue but he shakes them off. It shouldn't be so easy to slip back into these best friend roles. A lot has happened between them and he can't act like it hasn't. 

"Felicity, I know I haven't called and I'm—" 

"Oliver." She cuts him off softly, a hand hovering over his shoulder. "You don't have to apologize. I said I'd be here when you were ready to talk and I'm willing to wait until you're ready. However long that takes. Okay?" 

He looks at her, reading the sincerity in her eyes. "Okay." 

She gives him a soft smile then. 

"Ms. Smoak?" The nurse rounds the corner. 

"Yes?" 

"Ms. Queen is ready to be released so you can take her now." 

"Okay, thank you." 

The nurse nods then walks off, leaving Oliver to turn to Felicity. "You know I can just take my sister back to her place. You don't have to do that." 

Felicity looks down and touches her glasses. 

He cocks his eyebrow in question. 

"I volunteered to keep an eye on Thea for the rest of the day. You know, I just don't want her to be alone." 

"Oh..." 

"And I informed her that is totally unnecessary." Thea states, appearing in the hallway with her arms crossed. 

Oliver gets up, prepared to assist her in any way possible. Thea waves him off. 

"Ollie, I'm fine. You worry too much. The both of you." 

Felicity holds up the bag of Big Belly Burger and his sister instantly grins. 

"But you're good Smoak." 

She snatches the bag and pulls out her burger, unwrapping it quickly. Thea takes a big bite out of the burger and moans, rolling her eyes. 

"God, you are a lifesaver. Are you single? Because you are wifey material." 

Felicity laughs, shaking her head in amusement. 

"Ms. Queen, the nurse at the front has your discharge papers." 

"Great. Let's get out of this place. I'll meet you by your car, okay Felicity?" 

The blonde nods. 

Thea turns to Oliver. "Thank you for being here bro, it was unnecessary since Felicity has it all taken care of, but it was a kind gesture regardless." She sends him a wink and hops off. 

Oliver shakes his head and turns to Felicity as she gathers up her things. 

"Thank you." He says, stepping up to her. 

She looks up as she puts her tablet away. "I told you, it was nothing." 

"Still, thank you. Everything you did for Thea, while I wasn't there...just thank you." 

She smiles up at him, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You know I've always loved your family... And I never stopped loving you." 

Oliver blinks, surprised. He hasn't heard her utter those words since that day in her office. It seems so long ago now, he feels like they're such different people now. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. 

Felicity shakes her head and gives him a shy smile. "Anyways I should get going," she tells him, putting on her jacket and picking up her bag. 

Oliver still hasn't regained his speech as Felicity stands before him, about to leave. She looks up at him and seems to be waiting for him to say something. And he should, but words are still escaping him. 

Felicity's eyes land just above his shoulder to something behind him and her face lights up in a smile. "John?" 

Oliver turns around to see his friend walking towards them. 

"Hi Felicity," he smiles. 

She walks up to him and hugs him, her small arms wrapped around his big frame. "It's so nice to see you! What are you doing here?" 

John rubs the back of his neck. "The coffee machine upstairs isn't working, so I came down here for some." 

"Diggle." Oliver finally finds his voice and starts walking towards the man. "I thought you said you were taking a personal day?" 

"Yeah, well..." He chuckles nervously, unusual for Diggle, "I guess now that it's official I can talk about it." 

"Talk about what?" Felicity asks. 

"Um, Lyla's pregnant. We're having a baby." 

"Ohmygod! John!" Felicity throws herself at him, her eyes shining with happiness, "That's so amazing!" 

Oliver smiles brightly at his friend who is about to become a father. "Congratulations John," he sticks out his hand for the other man to shake, "I'm so happy for you and Lyla." 

"Thanks man." 

They smile at each other, and Oliver can't believe what an exciting thing is happening for John, how much his life is going to change for the better. 

"Lyla's here right? I have to go see her!" 

Dig laughs at Felicity's enthusiasm. "Yeah she's upstairs, room 119. " 

She nods excitedly. "Let me just go grab Thea and I'll be right up to see her." 

Oliver and Diggle watch as the excited blonde make her way down the hallway. 

"So I guess this explains some things." Oliver says, turning to Diggle. 

"Yeah. Lyla's strange cravings and her vomiting, at least now we know what's going on." 

"Well, yeah there's that, but I was talking about you." At Dig's quirked brow, Oliver elaborates, "You've been distant...cryptic, almost had me worrying." 

"You? Worry?" John replies sarcastically, "I can't even image that." 

Oliver chuckles. 

"But should I be worried? About what's going on with you two." Dig motions down the hall to where Felicity disappeared. 

Oliver takes in a deep breath. "There nothing 'going on' with us. She was just here helping Thea." 

Diggle nods at that. "Felicity looks good, happier." 

That's the thing Oliver hadn't been able to place about her earlier. When she showed up at the gym, after he had gotten over the initial shock of seeing her, she had seemed lighter almost. As if she was no longer so heavily burdened. 

"Vegas must have been good for her." 

He turns at Diggle's words, cocking his head. "How did you know where she went?" 

"How _didn't_ you?" John counters. "I'm sure if you really wanted to see her you would have figured it out. Even Thea went to go see her." 

"Yeah," he grumbles, "I figured as much." 

"Oliver," Diggle places his hand on his shoulder, "you guys need to talk, need to figure out where you stand now. If anything, you need to put this whole mess to bed. You both need it." 

"John," he smirks, "are you dealing out fatherly wisdom already?" 

The older man chuckles. "I guess so. But it doesn't make it any less true." 

* * *

"Ms. Smoak?" 

Felicity looks up. "Curtis, hi. Just checking out your work, hope you don't mind." 

He shakes his head and hurries forward. "No no, of course not. They're all still works in progress, I assure you the finish product will look better." 

"HD contacts, right?" She smiles, pointing at the lens. 

"Yes that's correct." Curtis replies, fixing up his work area. 

Felicity nods. "Impressive." 

"But don't think I forgot about the lab results you left on my desk. I will comb through them right away and have them back to you as soon as possible." 

She smiles. "There's no rush Curtis, really. As long as I can look them over and be ready to present them by Monday it's fine." 

He nods. "Will do Ms. Smoak." 

She stops on her way out the lab and turns around. "Oh and Curtis?" 

"Yes Ms. Smoak?" 

"I think we've reached the point in our working relationship where you can just call me Felicity." 

He nods, grinning. "Then can I say what an honor it is to be working at your side, the company is really lucky to have you back." 

Her smile spreads wider. "Thank you Curtis." 

He nods and she walks out of the lab and continues down the hall to the elevator bank. Her phone buzzes, indicating a message, and she looks down to find it's from Thea. 

_Netflix and chill?_

She giggles, shaking her head to text back the younger Queen. 

_I've told you Thea, you keep texting me like this your boyfriend will get mad._

The reply comes almost immediately and Felicity's steps into the elevator. 

_Ugh, I told you he's not my boyfriend. We went on one date. _

_But still, what he doesn't know about can't hurt him._

 _

;)

_

She giggles as the girl's antics as she walks into her office. She so absorbed in her phone she almost doesn't notice the body standing in her office as she makes her way to her desk. 

"Felicity?" 

She looks up and jumps, her phone almost flying out of her hand. 

"Sorry...didn't mean to startle you." 

"Did I just yelp?" She asks, clutching her phone to her chest. 

Oliver smirks. "Yeah...you kinda did." 

"Well," she straightens and steps over to her desk, "that's not the most embarrassing thing I've done today so I guess it's okay." 

Oliver quirks his brow in question. 

She shakes her head. "To make a long story short let's just say that the white blouse I had on this morning has a latte stain from an unfortunate Applied Science meeting." 

He shakes his head and chuckles, his shoulders seeming to relax in the process. 

"So what's up? What brings you by? What can I do you for?" She sits down then frowns, "Sorry that was too many questions...feel free to answer any of them." 

Oliver does a little breathy laugh, something she hasn't heard it too long. "I wanted to know if had gotten lunch yet." 

"Oh." She says, surprised. "Um..." She checks the clock, seeing that it is in fact lunchtime. Her stomach growls at the knowledge. "No. No I hadn't. Why? Did you..." 

He steps to her desk. "I thought maybe we could go to Jitters and have that Panini you always end up ordering after looking at the menu for hours." 

Felicity smiles automatically, the memory surprising her. 

"Unless you're too busy here..." He lets the sentence drift off, leaving it hanging in the air. 

Felicity quickly gets up, stacking her papers on top of each other. "Well yes, I am, that's to be expected of a two month absence, but... I'm sure I can make an exception for the boss's son." She smiles warmly at him. 

He nods once. "Good. Because I'm ready to talk." 

* * *

Oliver shifts in his seat across from Felicity. It's not uncomfortable per say, it's just...different. Everything between them is so different. He's still not sure if it's a good different or bad different. 

"Here you go." Says the chirpy waitress, placing their coffee and food orders on their table. 

"Anything else I can get you guys?" 

Oliver looks over to Felicity, she shakes her head, smiling shyly. "I'm good." 

"No. Thank you." He tells the waitress. 

"Alright guys, just let me know." 

He nods at her and waits until she leaves then he turns his gaze onto Felicity. Upon meeting his eyes she hastily brings the Panini up to her mouth and takes a big bite. 

_Oh, right. She's a nervous eater._

He almost smiles at the thought, watching her bide her time. 

She swallows down her food and looks up at him nervously. "So...you probably have a lot of questions." 

Oliver purses his lips, _that's a bit of an understatement..._ "Where did you go?" 

Felicity blinks, taken aback by how rapidity he shoots out the question. It takes her a second to respond. "Nevada." 

"Back home." 

"Back to Vegas," she clarifies, "I went to go spend some time with my mom and Walter. I needed time to clear my head, figure things out." 

"So you left." 

"I couldn't be in Starling anymore. Too much had happened, there was too much pain here." 

He nods once, remembering Thea describing how sad Mrs. Palmer's funeral was and the mean comments whispered about Felicity throughout the crowd. "So why'd you come back?" 

"Well I couldn't run away forever...actually if one were theoretically to run forever, if they had the body to sustain that sort of long term exertion, I'm sure they'd probably end up running right through time or creating some sort of—" 

"Felicity," he interrupts gently, his hand moving out to rest on her shoulder instinctually. He doesn't even notice, it's second nature to him but he stops himself in time. He's not sure if she notices or not. 

She takes a deep breath. "Sorry," she mutters. "I came back for a lot of reasons. Chief among them being everything I know is here and I need to clean up the mess I made." 

"You mean between us?" 

"I mean with everything." 

He cocks an eyebrow and she slumps slightly in her chair. 

"I received many angry calls from relatives and work friend's of Ray. So many questions and accusations, eventually I just had to get a new phone." 

At the mention of her phone something tickles the back of Oliver's mind, something that he forgot to look into... 

"But most importantly I do want to fix things with you." Felicity continues, regaining his full attention. 

"Felicity, I didn't think it's going to be that simple." 

She straightens in her chair. "And I'm not expecting it to be. I know a lot has happened, and I know that I messed up...multiple times. And you deserve so many more apologies for that, all I'm asking for is a chance to make it up to you. To prove to you that I can." 

He studies her face and the question that's been plaguing him for two months bubbles to the surface. "Why did you call off the wedding?" 

She stares at him for a moment then looks down at her coffee, folding her hands on top of the table. "There are many reasons why I called off the wedding and, in all honesty, I should have done it much sooner..." 

She grows quiet then and Oliver has to force himself to stay seated in his chair and wait for the rest of what she has to say. 

"I wasn't in love with Ray, as much I wished I could be, I wasn't. And I wasn't whom he made me out to be. I just didn't want to wake up one day, years from now, and decide that it was the day I was finally going to ask for a divorce." 

Her eyes flicker up to him and Oliver can see the depth of her struggle in those clear blue eyes. 

"See it was never a choice between you and Ray. That was never it. The real conflict was choosing the kind of person I was supposed to be. If I was supposed to be that young, naive girl who fell in love with her best friend and could close her eyes and take a leap of fate or if I was supposed to be the woman who followed all the rules and did what was normal and expected: marry the man that I had been dating for a year. The irony is that in my indecision, I ended up falling into endless cycle of hurting everyone close to me." 

She turns her eyes on him then, they're misty and he can feel the weight of her honesty. 

"I'm sorry Oliver. You didn't deserve any of this and I shouldn't have dragged you through it." 

He's not quite sure what to say to her. She's being so open and bare to him; it was a part of their relationship he thought was lost forever. 

She sniffles and shakes her head, as if to clear it. "Any other questions?" 

He looks up at her and he can tell she's serious about this, about reliving everything in order to give him the closure he needs. 

"How are you?" It's the first thing that comes to his mind but he realizes he hasn't asked her that in the couple times he's seen her since she came back. It seems somewhat appropriate. 

She smiles at him, seeming grateful for the question. "Good. Better...I'm getting there." She settles on finally. "And yourself?" 

"I'm getting there too...Thea says I'm a work in progress." 

She nods. "That's good to hear. How's everything else?" 

"I'm trying to be a better son to Moira, Robert's being surprisingly laid back and taking interest in my work, I'm actually able to talk to him now." 

She takes a sip of her drink. "Good. That's very good. How's work?" 

"We're busy more regularly now." He's relaxing into the conversation, the way he usually does when he talks to Felicity. He's glad that after everything, at least that hasn't changed. "And there keeps being some weird mix up with the equipment distributors and so we get...it's you isn't it?" 

"What is?" 

"You're the reason we keep getting free equipment." 

She looks at him over the rim of her coffee cup, her eyes wide and innocent. "I don't know what you're talking about." 

And he may be a bad liar, but Felicity has always been worse at it. He didn't miss the flash of something in her eyes when he brought up the equipment mix up and he doesn't miss how she's trying desperately to hold his gaze and not look away. And it makes sense now. Why he could never figure out where the equipment was supposed to have gone, why the mailing company couldn't find any record of who had order the shipment, because only someone as smart and computer savvy as Felicity could cover her tracks that way. 

"Felicity, I thought you left so we would stay out of each other's lives." 

She sighs, putting down her cup. "I...tried. I really did, I didn't contact Thea or Dig, I didn't talk to Tommy or your mom, I didn't ask anyone about you. But I didn't even realize what a big part of my own life you take up and after being away for a while, that became very evident to me. I've spent so much time in these last five years talking to you and sharing with you and just being around you. And then I left to go figure things out and all I wanted to do was figure them out with you. Because that's what I've always done, you're always the first call I make, the first person whose brain I pick when I need help. So I just needed to do something for you...to keep me connected to you somehow." She looks away, pushing her glasses up her nose. "I don't know, it's dumb." 

Oliver looks down at his own coffee and shakes his head, remembering calling Walter while Felicity was away under the guise that he had a question about the quality of Vegas hotels. He knew, in the back of his head, that Felicity must have been there but he didn't dare ask Walter or Donna about it. It was like Felicity said, he just needed to feel connected to her somehow. 

"It's not." He tells her, eyes still glued to his coffee. "Dumb, I mean. It's not dumb." He dares to look up, she's smiling at him and her eyes are shining. His fingers itch to reach out and grab her hand, he has to hold himself back. 

"Thank you." She straightens, moving her hand to her lap and taking away the temptation to hold it. 

"So, how was being back in Vegas?" 

She gives him a breathy little smile, clearly happy for the change in topic. "It was nice. Spending time with Donna and getting to see Barry...it was far overdue." 

"What's wrong?" He asks. 

She looks up at him. "Why do you ask?" 

"You're, uh," he wiggles his fingers in the air between them, "doing that thing with your eyebrows." 

"Oh..." Felicity brings up her hand to rub her forehead. 

"It usually means something's wrong." 

She looks away and he fears maybe he shouldn't have brought it up; maybe he should have dropped it. But then she turns to look at him and he can see in her eyes that's she's going to be honest with him again. 

"Being back...it should have felt like home. But it didn't, it felt like being on vacation and I realized it's because that's not home for me anymore, this is." 

Oliver can see in her eyes that there's something more, something else she's keeping herself from saying but he doesn't push it. 

"And you?" She asks suddenly, breaking him from his thoughts, "you're spending time with your family and The Gambit is doing well, but outside of that, is there anything else going on in your life?" 

He smiles and shakes his head, sipping from his coffee. "No, no. Work has kept me pretty busy, between that and my mom my time is really monopolized. I don't have much of a social life as it stands." 

"Hmm," she replies, noncommittal, and takes a small bite of her Panini. 

He then realizes that it was Felicity's subtle way of asking him whether or not he's seeing anyone. She slipped it in so casually he didn't even notice. And the small smile playing on the edges of her lips tips him off of this fact. 

Oliver shakes his head; he can't believe he fell into her little trap. He nudges her foot under the table and she yelps, jumping in her seat. He can't help but laughed at her surprise. She attempts to glare at him but ends up giggling uncontrollably. 

"I was gonna ask if you guys are alright, but clearly you are." Their waitress says, walking past them. "Let me know if you need anything." 

They both nod silently, trying to keep their laughter at bay and feeling like they've been caught. Once the waitress is out of earshot Felicity throws him a look. "Behave." She tells him, her face a mask of feign seriousness. 

He bites the inside of his cheek, nodding solemnly. But once Felicity attempts to take a sip of her coffee, he nudges her leg under the table again, taking her by surprise. She gasps and giggles, trying to distance her legs from his. 

And being like this, lighthearted with Felicity, it's something he's missed. He's missed hearing her laughter and watching her eyes shine and her face break out into a smile. They're not fixed, they'd not completely ok again. There is still a lot of conversations to be had and wounds to be mended, elephants in the room to be address and talks to be had. 

But they've started. They've begun healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope that wasn't a disappointment and again I'm sorry for the wait. I can't say when the next one will be up but I will try to keep you as updated as possible on twitter: @katanaqueen_  
> Two more chapters and an epilogue, so stay excited for that :)  
> Oh and to the people who guessed that Felicity was responsible for the gym equipment, you were right! Congrats 
> 
> Tease of the week: "She really does care about you son."
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Leave me a prompt on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love


	23. Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies,
> 
> I know it's been a decade and a half but fret not, a holiday miracle has arrived and I'm giving you the next chapter today!!  
> Now originally this was meant to be the last chapter and then an epilogue, but I decided to stretch it out and add another chapter before I got to the epilogue. So here it is in all its glory, thank you for the continued love and support and to the lovely ladies on Twitter who keep me active.  
> And just as a point of reference the beginning portion of this chapter takes place over a number of weeks.  
> Plenty of mistakes I'm sure, it happens when you're living that unbetaed life  
> Enjoy!

Walking into The Gambit, Felicity notices that it's crazier than the last time she was here, and it's definitely busier. Now grunts and groans can be heard bouncing off the walls, sweat lines everyone's forehead and the metal clanking sounds are amplified tenfold. She stands just inside the door for a moment, remaining unnoticed with all the chaos going on around her. 

"I was wondering when you were gonna show up here." She hears a familiar voice tease from behind her. 

She turns around. "Hi, Ted." 

He smiles at her and shifts the weight of the big box holding a bunch of towels from one arm to the other. "Good to see you Smoak, you've been missed." 

She smiles at that. "Thanks. How's Laurel?" 

He shakes his head and walks the box over behind the front desk. "Really busy right now actually, taking some fat cats to trial. You know her, always trying to save the world." 

She nods, "That does sound like Laurel." 

"What'cha got there?" He nods toward the pizza box in her hand. 

She looks down at the box and smiles. "Don't tell me you're going blind on me Ted, have you reached that age already?" 

"Ha. Ha." He replies sarcastically. "What I meant is, who is it for?" 

"Why? Are you interested?" She opens up the box. "I think there's a spinach and shrimp slice for you somewhere in here..." She fishes out the slice on a paper plate and holds it up to him happily. 

He puts his hand over his heart and reaches out to grab the plate. "Oh Smoak, a woman after my own heart, truly. Thank you." 

She shakes her head, smiling. "You're welcome. Is Oliver in?" 

He looks up at her from devouring his pizza; already he has some sauce on the corner of his mouth. "Boss Man? Oh yeah, in his office." 

"Thanks." She's about to walk away when she stops. "Oh, almost forgot." She pulls out another slice of pizza, this time with pineapples and ham, and places it on the desk. "If I leave this here for Carrie you won't eat it, right?" 

Ted looks up and meets her deadly glare. "Wouldn't dare to cross you, Smoak." 

Felicity smiles. "Good." 

She makes her way past bench presses and people running on treadmills, and heads towards Oliver's office in the back. 

"Knock, knock." She calls out and peeks her head inside. 

Oliver turns around, his hands in his pockets. "Oh, Felicity, hey." 

"Hi. Sorry, hope this isn't a bad time." She pulls the pizza box in front of her for him to see. "I brought lunch." 

He smirks down surprised at the box in her hands. "Is that Mario's?" 

"Is there any other kind of pizza?" She quirks a brow. 

Oliver shakes his head. "No, I guess you're right. Come in, please." 

Felicity pushes the door the rest of the way open and walks over to his desk, taking a seat. 

He takes a seat across from her. "Believe it or not I actually haven't had lunch today yet." 

"Well color me not at all surprised." She responds, pulling another slice out of the box. "Your favorite." She announces, placing the plate in front of him. 

"Veggie with extra olives. You remembered?" 

Felicity looks up at him from taking her own slice, extra cheese, out of the box. "Of course. How could I forget?" 

Oliver opens his mouth, as if he's about to say something in retort, but then just shakes his head and throws his tie over his shoulder, picking up his pizza. 

She chews thoughtfully then tilts her head at him. "You look fancy." She notes. 

He looks down at himself then rolls his eyes, taking another bite of his slice. "Yeah," he manages around bites. "I have another business dinner with Frank Bertinelli tonight." 

"Wow. He's really trying to ware you down, huh?" 

"Yeah. And he just might if I have to sit through anymore of these dinners." 

She rolls her eyes. "Only you would complain about free food." 

"I'm not complaining now." He counters, holding his pizza up to take a huge bite out of it. 

"Oh this isn't free." 

"It isn't?" 

"Oh no," she shakes her head, "I'm adding this to an on going tally I have." 

She can tell he's trying to fight the upward curling of his lips. "Are you?" 

"Mmhmm, I've had it going since college. Do you know how much our friendship has cost me, monetarily, over this past few years? Let me tell you, it hasn't been cheap." 

He shakes his head, her favorite smile of his playing on his mouth. "That's a smart idea. I should've kept a tally myself... Maybe I'll start now." 

"Too late. I've kept all the receipts." 

Oliver laughs then, a full belly laugh, and it warms Felicity's heart, she hasn't heard that sound in so long. "I've missed that." She tells him after his laughter dies down. 

His eyes snap to her. "Missed what?" 

"This. Us. You. ...I really missed you." 

He stares at her for a moment but doesn't say anything. And Felicity knows this is different, for both of them. They've decided to start anew and repair their relationship; she knows it's not going to be easy. But over these past few weeks since she came back, it's gotten easier. Felicity just wishes he wouldn't be rendered silent whenever she tells him something like that— _I never stopped loving you, I missed you_ —it makes her think that maybe he doesn't feel the same anymore. 

"Hey Oliver have you looked at the—" 

She turns around at the sound of Diggle's voice. He stops shy, just outside Oliver's office when he sees them. 

"Oh. Hello." He puts his hands down and eyes the pair. 

"Hi John. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home taking care of your pregnant wife?" 

He smirks. "She's only two months pregnant and if you know anything about Lyla, you'd know she hates that. She's actually at work herself right now." 

Felicity shrugs. "Well it's a good thing you're here anyways," she turns back to the box on 

Oliver's desk, "there's a meat lover's pizza slice in here with your name on it." 

"Felicity, you shouldn't have." He smiles as she produces the slice and holds it out to him. 

He gladly takes it and bites into it. "Well I just came to drop this off," John holds up a file and places it on the edge of Oliver's desk. "So I'll let you two get back to your...whatever you were doing." He nods once. "I'll see you later Felicity." 

"Bye John," she calls out as he makes his way back out to the gym. She turns to Oliver then. "I should probably get going..." 

"Oh right," Oliver looks down at his watch, "your lunch break will be over soon. How are things going at QC?" 

"Well we're pretty busy," she tells him as she puts their paper plates back into the empty pizza box, "I have been working Curtis around the clock." She shakes her head. "And I do feel bad about that, I do, but Applied Sciences has taken over a bunch of accounts recently and honestly my job right now is meant for two people." 

"Sounds stressful," he edges. 

"Oh it is. That's why I came down here for lunch, I needed a moment to unwind." 

He smirks. "Buying pizza for the whole gym helps you unwind?" 

She smiles. "No...but coming here to talk to you does. It always has." 

Out of the corner of her eye she sees his fingers, so close to her hand on the desk, twitch. 

"I'm glad to hear it." Oliver replies, retracting his hand to run it over his head. 

Felicity simply nods, trying not to let her disappointment show on her face. She can't be upset Oliver is holding back, it's only natural. She grabs the now empty pizza box and stands up, putting her bag on her shoulder. 

"Felicity...?" 

She turns around. 

"Thank you...for the pizza." 

"Of course." She nods, and then walks out his office. 

* * *

Oliver reasons with himself that he has good reason to hold back, to keep himself from jumping into something more with Felicity right now. They're just friends again, finally. It took them both a lot to get to a better place than how they left; he doesn't want to risk that... 

"Aren't you going to be late?" Diggle asks, leaning against the doorframe. 

Oliver looks up at him then glances at the clock. "Crap," he mutters, getting up, "you're right." 

Diggle chuckles. "I usually am. And it's not like you have the best reputation of being on time." 

Oliver adjusts his tie and rolls his sleeves down. "That's not helpful Dig." 

The man just smirks. "Sorry I interrupted whatever was going with you and Felicity earlier." 

"There was nothing going on with me and Felicity." 

"You know you've been saying that a lot recently." 

"That's because you keep trying to make something out of nothing." He says, rummaging through his drawers. 

"Right. Just like I made up your feelings for her, I really did make something out of nothing there." 

He sighs. "I don't have time for that right now Diggle. I can't find my cuff links..." 

John uncrosses his legs and moves away from the doorframe, stepping into the office. He walks up to Oliver's desk and picks something up. "You mean these?" He asks, holding up the small cuff links. 

Oliver takes him from his palm. "Thanks." 

"That's your problem Oliver," Dig tells him, moving back out into the gym. "You're always running too late to see what's in front of you." 

"That's my only problem?" He asks, making Diggle stop in his tracks. 

John chuckles. "Right now it's your biggest one." 

"You heading home?" 

"Yeah." 

"Say hi to Lyla for me." Oliver says, fixing his cuff links. 

"Will do." Diggle calls back, waving over his shoulder. 

Oliver moves around his office, quickly stacking papers on top of each other and organizing them into piles on his desk. 

"Hey boss you got a second?" 

"Um, sure. What is it Carrie?" 

The redhead steps into his office. "I just wanted to know when I could give my presentation." 

Oliver stops moving around the room. "Your idea pitch, right..." He had forgotten. "I'm running late right now, I'm sorry. How about Wednesday? Can we do it then? I want to be able to give you my undivided attention." 

Yeah, of course." She nods. 

"Thanks." He goes back to fixing his desk. 

She lingers in his doorway. "You know it was really nice of Felicity to bring lunch for the whole gym like that." 

"Yes it was." He says distractedly, mentally making a checklist for anything he may need to bring with him tonight. 

"Should we be expecting this to become an ongoing thing?" 

He puts his gym bag away. "I don't know Carrie." 

"Can I be honest?" She asks suddenly. 

"I've never known you not to be..." He says, his head buried in his drawer. 

"I think you're being dumb." 

That gets his attention. He looks up at her. "Excuse me?" 

She folds her arms across her chest. "I think you're being dumb right now." 

He cocks his head to the side, taken aback. 

"You clearly like Felicity. I mean more than like her, you should see your face whenever she stops by—" 

"Carrie is there a point to all this?" He asks impatiently. "I'm running late." 

She uncrosses her arms and straightens. "You're a good boss Oliver, and a good friend. I just don't want to watch you let a good thing get away...again."' She steps out of his office. "Have fun at dinner, give Bertinelli my regards." And with that she walks off to the storage area in the back of the gym and leaves Oliver with too many thoughts running through his mind. 

* * *

"Where exactly are you taking me Oliver?" 

Felicity looks over to him in question. He just shakes his head with that secret little smile still firmly in place. It the same smile he's had since he picked her up from her place this morning. 

"You'll see." It's the same evasive answer he's given her the last five times she's asked, it's the only answer he's given her. 

She sighs and leans back into the seat, folding her arms over her chest. 

When Oliver asked her yesterday if she was going to be free today at around noon she told him she was, because she didn't have any plans. So when he showed up at her doorstep, complimented her on her yellow sundress and asked for the car keys, she was confused. 

"I don't mind driving." She had assured him, locking up behind her. 

"Oh I'm sure you don't." He had replied, a step behind her. "But you wouldn't be able to get there." 

"Why not?" 

"Because you don't know where we're going." 

She had stopped in front of her car and cocked her head. "Well why don't you just tell me then?" 

"Can't. It's a surprise." 

"I thought we were just going for brunch." 

"Well that may be what you thought but that doesn't mean it's what we're doing." He had countered smartly, opening up the passenger side door for her. 

She had started to grow suspicious then. "Oliver...where are we going?" 

"Felicity, I can't tell you," he had countered, mimicking her tone full of trepidation. "Now just give me the keys." 

She has studied his face, one hand on the passenger door, the other holding onto the keys tightly. 

He had looked down at her then, pinning her with his gaze. "Felicity, do you trust me?" 

Her response came with no hesitation. "Of course." 

"Then give me the keys and take a seat." 

And after a small stare down she had relinquished possession of her keys and slumped down into the seat. 

Which is how she finds herself here now, sitting in the passenger's seat of her own car while Oliver drives them to an undisclosed location. She looks out the window just as they pass the city limits. 

"Hope you're not taking me out here to kill me and bury the body." 

He tears his eyes away from the road to look at her. 

"Sorry. Bad joke." 

He stares at her for a moment longer before turning his gaze back on the road, the secret smile—now colored with amusement— never leaving his face. 

"You know I wouldn't have to make bad jokes if I just knew where we were going." 

He lets out a little breathy laugh then and shakes his head. "I don't think you understand the concept of a surprise." 

"Oh no, I understand it just fine," Felicity assures him, crossing her legs, "I just don't like it." 

"That's odd because I distinctly recall _somebody_ who spent weeks organizing a _surprise_ party for Tommy." 

"Yes surprises for other people are fun. I just don't like to be surprised." 

"Seems kinda boring." 

She turns to him. "I'm sorry did you just call me boring?" 

He shakes his head, turning his lips down into a deep exaggerated frown. "No, wouldn't dream of it. I just meant your philosophy about not being surprised seems like a boring way to go about your life." 

Felicity snorts. 

"What was that for?" 

"Oh no reason," she teases, playing with the air conditioning controls, "I just find that funny coming from the guy that spent his entire first year in college hung over." 

"Hey!" He throws a hand over his chest in mock hurt, "That was the old me. I've changed." 

"I know you have," she softens. 

He looks at her out of the corner of her eyes, she can't help the smile that automatically lights her face when their eyes meet. 

"Thea can probably even drink you under the table now." 

He snorts and shakes his head. 

She laughs and something catches her eye. Felicity stops laughing and brings her face closer to the window to look out. Her breath catches. "Oliver, are we—" 

"Yes." He confirms, turning the car into the parking lot across the street. 

Oliver stops the car and gets out, walking around to open up the passenger's door. Felicity sits in her seat frozen. 

He sticks out his hand for her. "Felicity..." 

She looks up at him and the confidence of his posture helps put her more at ease. She slips her hand into his, and instantly his warm skin reassures her. He leads her out of the car and across the street. Felicity's legs feel weak and her lungs struggle to properly pull air into her body. They stop when they reach the edge of the lawn, just past the gate. 

They stand there for a moment, just staring at the hundreds of gravestones that stare back at them. Oliver doesn't say anything; he just lets Felicity absorb it all. And she does. She stands there, trying to imagine months ago when the same place was filled with mourners, dressed in black, exchanging stories of Alice's life. 

Felicity takes a tentative step forward, then another. Oliver lets her hand slip from his as she makes her way up the lawn, though the mazes of gravestones that liter the grass. Names and stories of people demanding attention but Felicity keeps walking until she finds the one she's looking for. 

_Alice Palmer_

_Loving wife, devoted mother, fighter and friend to all._

Felicity holds her breath and slowly sinks into the grass in front of the grave. She takes a moment, just to stare at it, to feel Alice's presence, before she brings her hand up and lays it gently on the stone's smooth surface. It feels cool against her skin, and that combined with the light breeze that comes through the trees causes her to shiver. 

"Hi," she whispers, looking down at the engraved words, "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner...I'm sorry for a lot of things actually..." 

The wind makes the leaves on the ground dance, the only response to her words. 

"I miss you everyday Alice. And I hope you weren't in pain or suffering quietly when you died." She takes a deep shuddering breath and bows her head. "You are the strongest woman I've ever known and I'm glad to have been a part of your life. You gave me so much...and your last words to me..." Felicity lets out a small gasp of air, trying not to dwell on that day... "Your last words...they gave me peace. They allowed me to let go of Ray and move on with my life, they allowed me the peace of mind to go back on my word and do what needed to be done." She shakes her head then, wind whipping her hair around her face, and smiles softly. "I'll never know how you knew...about Ray and I not being a good match...about how I felt about Oliver...about my dress. So I have to thank you for that, your words to me were a gift and I'll always treasure that." 

She sits there for a moment longer with her head bowed, just being in the moment. After a while the crunching of leaves alert her to Oliver's approach. And when he kneels next to her she throws her arms around his neck and buries her face in his collar. He allows her, his own arms coming to wind his arms around her waist, holding her to him. 

It doesn't escape Felicity's notice that it's the first time they've been so close, so physical since she got back but at this moment she can't think about that, she just takes the comfort Oliver gives her. 

"Thank you for bringing me here." She mutters against his neck. 

He strokes her back softly. "Are you okay?" 

She takes a deep breath. "I think so, yeah, I will be." 

He nods but neither of them let go. Felicity's not ready yet. So they remain in that position, kneeled in front of Alice's grave until Felicity's stomach growls and Oliver, after teasing her about it, finally takes her out to brunch. 

* * *

Felicity and he had been dancing precariously around each other every since she got back. The small touches that become increasingly lingering. The passing gazes that slowly become bolder. The quiet smiles that appear more consistently. It was a game they had perfected in college, before Helena and before Ray, when things were easier. 

However that all comes to screeching halt the moment he walks into QC. 

"Oliver." His mother calls, getting out of the elevator just as he enters the main lobby. 

"Hello mom." 

She kisses his cheek and holds his shoulders. "Are you here to take Felicity out to lunch?" It has become a common occurrence, something to be expected. "If I don't, who will?" 

She smiles up at him. "That's very true. She is particularly busy today as well." 

"Then I better go up and get her." He says, squeezing his mother’s hand in goodbye. 

She nods. "Yes of course. But you should stop by your father's office and say hi first. He's had a particularly hard week, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you." 

Oliver kisses Moira's cheek. "Of course. Goodbye mom." 

"And invite Felicity to the house for brunch next Sunday as well." She calls out to him as he walks into the elevator. 

"Will do." And then the doors close. 

Oliver takes the elevator up to the very top, a ride he remembers being fascinated with as a child. As he steps out and walks down the hallway, his father's assistant waves him in silently. 

Robert Queen is just getting off the phone when Oliver walks in. 

"Son, good to see you." 

"Hey dad." He takes a seat across from his father. "I ran into mom downstairs, she said you've had quite the week." 

Robert chuckles humorlessly and his shoulders sag slightly. "You could say that again..." He shakes his head, as if to clear it. "But tell me about The Gambit, how are things going there?" 

"Good." Oliver replies slowly. He's still not used to his father's sudden interest in his business. It had been surprising at first but his consistent interest still surprises Oliver. "We've been consistently busy. Frank Bertinelli is still _very_ interested." 

"Well that's good," Robert says, leaning back in his chair, "that whole family has a good nose for business. If he's still interested it means he knows it will continue to do very well." 

"Why the sudden interest from you?" 

"Excuse me?" 

Oliver leans forward, with his elbows on his knees. "You never really cared about how The Gambit was doing before, why the sudden interest now?" 

"Your work has always been important to me Oliver." 

He cocks an eyebrow. "That isn't exactly answering the question." 

Robert sighs and looks out the window for a moment before fixing his gaze back on Oliver. "Right before Felicity left, she marched into this office to deliver her notice of resignation." 

Oliver nods slowly, confused by the relevance of what his father is telling him right now. 

"I tried to convince her that it was a hasty decision, that she should some time off first and decide later. Then she...went off on me." 

Oliver blinks at that, finding it difficult to imagine. 

Robert rubs his hands together. "She told me that I hadn't been the best father to you in terms of taking enough interest in your business. She said that I should be more a part of your life because I would regret not doing it. Felicity stood right there," Robert points to the spot next to where Oliver is sitting, "and lectured me for a good 20 minutes about all the ways I should be improving my relationship with you. She assured me that I'd never forgive myself if I didn't have you as a bigger part of my life. And then she left." 

Oliver allows that information to settle, trying to figure out what to do with it. 

"She really loves you, son." His father says finally, standing up. 

Oliver nods distracted, getting up as well. He makes his way to the door, replaying everything his father just told him. 

"Oh and Oliver?" 

He turns around. 

"You should invite Felicity over to brunch next week." 

Oliver nods and walks out if his father's office, headed straight for the elevator banks. 

There's one thing he has to do now, and it's been a long time coming. 

* * *

"Curtis do you know where the analysis for the third quarter performance is?" Felicity asks, rummaging through the paperwork on her desk. 

"I believe it's there in your left hand." He replies from his workstation. 

Felicity looks at the paperwork in her hand. "I don't see it..." 

"I meant your other left." 

She glances at her other hand and finds that, in fact, she is holding the analysis. "You know, some people would call this my right hand, not my other left." She throws at him, flipping through the report. 

He shrugs. "I'm not like some people." He says cheekily. 

Felicity can't help but to smile, leave it to Curtis to make even the most stressful of days a little brighter. But at least she knows these stressful days won't last forever, soon all this will be sorted out and she can focus on more important matters. 

"Hey," Felicity looks up from the report in her hand to find Oliver standing at the entrance of her office, "hope I'm not interrupting anything important." 

"Oliver, hey." She breathes out, a small smile lighting her face. Between Curtis' quips and Oliver's presence...maybe she _will_ make it through this day. 

Curtis makes his way over to her. "Here you go, these are the proposals for the possible new branches to open up within Applied Science." 

"Thanks Curtis." She takes the folder from his hands. 

"And I'm going to go downstairs and go over the presentation with Jerry to make sure it's ready for the meeting." 

"Ok. Are you sure?" 

"Of course," he nods walking away from her backwards, "I feel ok leaving you now that your boyfriend is here." 

She rolls her eyes. "He's not my boyfriend Curtis. You know that." 

"And you know me, you call it what you want but I call 'em like I see them." He turns around. 

"It was nice seeing you Oliver." 

"Likewise." 

And with that Curtis is out the door. 

"I'm sorry about him, you know how he gets." Felicity waves off as she attempts to go through the stacks of paper cluttering her desk. 

"It's not a problem." 

"I'm sorry you came all the way over here but I can't do lunch today." She shakes out her hair. "I'm really swamped today." 

"Felicity, do you want to go get dinner with me?" 

"You mean instead of lunch? I mean...I hope I can swing that but honestly I'm not sure I'll get out in time to grab Big Belly Burger tonight." 

At his silence, Felicity looks up to find Oliver still by the doorway. She notices that he seems...nervous almost, buzzing with some unknown energy. 

"Are you alright?" She asks, tilting her head at him. 

He shakes his head and looks down. "I don't think I'm saying this right..." 

Before she can ask him what he means he stakes a step into her office and looks up at her. 

"Felicity, would you like to go out to dinner with me?" 

And there's something about the depth of his blue eyes, the way his fingers rub at his side nervously, it's all pleading at her to understand. 

And then she does. "Oh.... _oh_. Are you...asking me out? Like on a date? A _date_ date?" 

Oliver breathes out nervously. "I mean...with the implication of dinner being..." He shuffles his feet and looks down. "You and me...sitting across from each other at, I don't know, Gerard's and..." 

"Oliver?" She cuts him off, and he snaps his head up to look at her. "I'm supposed to be the one that speaks in fragments and run-ons." 

He smiles then, a genuine, ear to ear, smile and Felicity feels all warm inside just looking at him. 

"Felicity," he repeats slowly, "would you like to go to dinner with me?" 

Her forehead crinkles before she answers. "Are you sure about this Oliver?" At his dejected look, she's quick to continue. "I just mean that, we're in a good place and I don't want you to feel forced, like you have to because it was the only reason I came back. Which it wasn't, I want to make that clear... I just want to make sure you want this." She wrings her hands nervously. 

Oliver nods, a small smile lighting his face as if she's endearing to watch. "Yes, Felicity, I know that. And trust me I do want this." 

"Ok then," she breaths out a sigh of relief and smiles at him, walking around her desk, "yes Oliver, I would love to get dinner with you." 

* * *

He stands in front of his mirror, messing with the tie around his neck. Maybe it's the wrong color...maybe his whole suit is wrong. Grey? It seems like such a sad color now that he's seeing it in the mirror. Maybe he should have stuck to traditional black...but that feels too formal. He thinks he may have a green suit somewhere in his closet... 

"You're all set at Gerard's for 8pm sharp." Thea says, coming up behind him. 

He looks back at her as she sits down on his bed. "Huh?" 

"I just called to verify your reservation." She waves the phone in the air, as if it's obvious. 

"And why would you do that?" 

"Ollie," she says seriously, "this night has been over five years in the making, I'm just making sure everything runs as smoothly as possible." 

"Shouldn't that be my job?" 

She crosses her legs. "Yes but you're too busy wondering if that tie is too dark of a color." 

"It is, isn't?" He undoes it and yanks it off his neck, tossing it in the pile of discarded ties he's made. 

Thea chuckles. "Well I see there's no point in asking if you're nervous..." 

He glares at her through the mirror. "Not helpful Thea." 

"Sorry." She holds her hands up in surrender, getting up and walking into his closet. 

Oliver huffs and looks into the mirror frustrated. Maybe he'll forego a tie altogether... "When is your apartment going to be ready?" He asks his sister, more so to distract himself than anything else. 

"Painters said they'd be done by Thursday, but I'll give it another day so the fumes don't kill me." She replies from the depths of his closet. 

He simply grunts in response. 

"Why, brother dearest, getting sick of having me as a house guest already?" Thea walks out of his closet then, an array of ties hanging from her outstretched arm. 

"Of course not Speedy, you know I'd never get tired of you." 

"Good." She says once she's reached his bed and placed the ties down in a neat row. 

"You'd be helpless without me." 

He opens his mouth to respond but suddenly a tie is hurled at his face, he catches it as it falls down his chest. Oliver looks up at Thea in question. 

"Go with that one, it brings out your eyes." She tosses over her shoulder as she breezes out of his room. 

He wraps it around his neck and sees that his sister does in fact have a point. "Thanks!" He says as he fastens the tie. 

"Just hurry up so your chronic tardiness doesn't make you late for date." She calls out from the hallway. 

* * *

Felicity fastens her gold strappy heels on her feet and gets up from her bed. She walks over to the full-length mirror in the bathroom to inspect her outfit. She's done this a lot tonight. After she convinced herself to get ready slowly, Felicity had walked over to the mirror after every change she made. It's not she's a vain person, but simply that continuously inspecting herself was one way she combated her nerves. She's filled with this strange excitement, anticipation spiking her blood and making it pump faster, she's been like this all day. 

Scrunching her face in the mirror, she decides she needs another coat of lipstick...and maybe a little more lip-gloss. She walks over to the counter, where she dumped out the continents of her make up bag, and picks up her favorite tube of bright red lipstick; the exact shade of her dress. She smacks her lips a few times in the mirror and flattens her palms down her sides. 

There's a knock on the door then and Felicity races to go get it. Half way down the hallway she has to remind herself to walk at a normal pace. 

She reaches the door and after what feels like a lifetime and swings it open. Oliver stands on her doorstep, like he has so many times before, but this time in a crisp grey suit and a baby blue tie. He looks slightly nervous with his hands in his pant pockets but all Felicity can pay attention to is how bright his dancing eyes look in the dim lighting of her doorstep. 

"Hi." And jeez, why does she sound so breathless? 

"Hey," his eyes are practically twinkling now, "you...look nice." 

She looks down at herself again, a blush creeping on her cheeks. "Thanks," Felicity looks up and he's studying her. She feels like she should say something else. "And you...I like your tie," 

Oliver smiles as if sharing a private joke with himself but before she can inquire about it he takes a step back. "Shall we?" 

She nods, checking her door is locked, and starts walking down the steps. "I think the seat is already adjusted from the last time you were there..." Felicity starts, pulling her keys out of her clutch and heading towards her car. 

"Oh, we're not taking your car Felicity." 

She stops in her tracks. "Oliver, I can't get in the back of your motorcycle in this dress." 

"I know, and you're not going to." He smirks. 

Her eyebrows pull down in confusion but he simply smiles at her and walks over to a beautiful silver Porsche sitting at the end of her driveway. 

"Oh..." 

Oliver walks over to it and opens up the passenger door, waiting for her there. Felicity goes over to the car and steps in, allowing Oliver to close the door behind her. She settles herself in as he walks around and opens up the driver’s door, sliding in. 

"This is a nice car." 

"I thought it would be better than speeding through traffic on two wheels since it's a little chilly tonight." 

Felicity nods. But there's something off...she was expecting something when she sat down. But she can't exactly place her finger on it. Then it hits her. "It doesn't have the new car smell." 

Oliver turns his head towards her as he starts the car. "Huh?" 

Felicity shakes her head. "Nothing." 

She looks down at her hands as Oliver maneuvers his way out of her street and onto the road. She's trying to think of something's to say but her mind is pulling a blank. If the silence continues it'll be weird, and it's not supposed to be weird. It's Oliver, she's spent so much time with him in so many different social situations it's never been weird. 

"You can turn on the radio." 

His voice pulls her out of her musing and Felicity looks up. "What?" 

Oliver peers at her from the corner of his eye before turning his attention back on the road. "If you what you can turn the radio on to, you know, fill the silence." 

Felicity blinks up at him, smiling slowly, he always did know how to read her thoughts... She shakes her head at him. "No, thank you. I'd rather speak to you." 

A smile lights his profile. "About what?" 

She looks around. "Well this car for starters." 

His brow furrows. "Do you not like it?" 

"Oh no, it's not that. I actually think it's nice, _really_ nice." She fingers brush over the leather interior. "But for as long as I known Oliver Queen, you've never owned anything on more than two wheels." 

He chuckles. 

"What brought on the change?" 

Oliver grows quiet for a moment, his face getting more serious. Then he says, "It was something Tommy mentioned...about me aging, becoming more stable, more settled, that I should get a car. So I bought this for myself on my birthday, on a whim." 

She looks around the car. Oliver never buys things on a whim. "Happy belated birthday by the way. I forgot to mention that earlier." 

He nods, eyes still on the road. "Thank you. And thanks for the phone call." 

Felicity opens her mouth to feign ignorance or protest but she shuts it after a moment and focuses on her lap, a blush coming on. 

"It's okay," Oliver says after a moment. "I called Donna when you were over there." 

She looks up, surprised. "Really?" 

"Yeah, I ended up talking to Walter about hotels for an hour. I was too afraid to ask if you were there." 

Felicity smiles softly, placing her hand lightly on top of Oliver's over the console. He looks over at her, his eyes swimming with unnamed emotions. A quiet moment passes between them, the inside of the car suddenly feeling so small but too big at the same time. 

"We're here." Oliver says softly, breaking the moment. 

"Oh..." Felicity turns to look out the window. " _Oh_ , you were right, this is place is fancy." She looks down at herself, suddenly feeling undresses. 

"Yeah. Thea suggested it." 

Before she can say anything else, Oliver is out the car and rounding the front, making his way to her door and pulling it open. He offers her his hand and she takes it, sliding out of the car. 

"Hello sir, miss." A valet nods, stepping up to them. 

Oliver hands him the keys and gently guides Felicity forward, his hand on we the small of her back. "Queen party of two." He tells the hostess as they walk in. 

She nods, smiling warmly at him and leads them to a secluded table in the corner, away from the other guests in the restaurant. 

Once they reach their table Oliver pulls out a seat for Felicity and she blushes, murmuring a quiet thank you as she sits down. _This is different_ , she thinks, having never directly seen this side of Oliver up close before. He's on date mode. 

The hostess hands them the wine menu and walks off after promising that their waiter will be right with them. Felicity opens up the menu and peers down at it, her mind elsewhere. 

"What are you thinking?" Oliver asks quietly and she looks up to find his eyes already on her. 

"Just how different this all is." She tells him honestly. 

"Bad different?" 

"I didn't say that. It's just...all those years ago when you spilled beer on me at that frat party, would you have ever imagined that we'd be at this fancy restaurant looking at wine menus." She shakes her head, smiling softly at the ridiculousness of it all. 

"I did." Oliver says seriously. Her eyes snap to his in surprise and he sets down his menu. "I never let myself admit it or even really play with the idea, but it was always there in the back of my mind." 

Felicity stays quiet, not quite sure what to say to this information. 

"You know right before a Tommy left he asked me something and it's been bugging me trying to come up with an answer to it. But I have one now." 

"What did he ask you?" She inquires softly, feeling as if they're sharing a secret. 

He shakes his head and fixes his gaze on an invisible spot just over her shoulder. "He asked me why I waited so long, waited until right before your wedding, to tell you how I felt. And when he first posed the question, I answered automatically that I just found out myself...but..." Oliver breaks off, appearing lost in his thoughts. 

Felicity sits up straighter in her chair. "But?" She presses gently. 

"But he called me out on it. I now I have the real answer." 

She looks down, playing with the bracelet dangling from her left hand. Did she want to know the answer? Yes, of course she did. "And?" 

"And," Oliver takes a small breath, "I waited so long because, dumbly, I thought I had all the time in the world." 

Felicity looks up at him, cocking her head. 

"For years you had always been there, someone to talk to when I couldn't with Tommy or Digg, someone to lean on with when it felt like things were falling apart. Someone to offer support and guidance when I doubted myself, someone to celebrate with when things were good. You were always just there, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I assumed you would always be. And that when I was ready, to admit to myself and to you how I felt...that you would be there, ready to hear it." He shakes his head and focuses back on her. "So when Ray came into the picture, when you agreed to marry him, suddenly the clock was ticking, my window of opportunity to tell you how I felt was closing. And you know how bad I've always been with deadlines." 

She huffs out a small little laugh despite herself. 

Their waiter shows up then. "Good evening," he smiles, "have you decided what kind of wine you want?" 

Oliver turned to her, giving her the choice. She quickly looked down at the menu. "The Lafite Rothschild." She decides. 

"We have one that's 1982." 

Felicity turns to Oliver in question. "That will work." He assures the waiter, never taking his eyes off here. 

"Perfect. I'll be right back with your wine." He walks off. 

Felicity looks down, playing with her cloth napkin. 

"Red wine." Oliver notes quietly. 

"It's my favorite." 

"I remembered." 

She smiles at his soft words. 

"Let's just hope this time is better than the first time we had wine together." 

She laughs, remembering their sophomore year, wandering around the docks with a cheap bottle of red wine, the only thing available at the local deli. She didn't feel good the next morning. 

"I'm still confident something was added to that wine." Felicity says, scrunching her nose. 

Oliver smiles softly. "I guess that's what we get for trusting a wine called _Vertigo_." 

"Here's your wine." The waiter walks up to them, holding out their bottle. He pours them each a small amount to taste. Oliver sips his then raises his eyebrows to Felicity for her opinion. 

She takes her wine, letting the red liquid roll over her tongue. 

She smiles. "Definitely better than Vertigo." 

Oliver chuckles then turns to the waiter. "Thank you." 

The waiter nods silently and leaves again. 

Felicity takes a small sip of her wine, studying Oliver over the rim of her glass. He shifts in his seats and fixes his tie unnecessarily. 

"Everything okay?" She asks, setting her wine down. 

His eyes snap up to hers and he lets out a little breathy smile. "Yes, everything is fine. I'm just..." 

"Nervous?" She supplies. 

"Yeah...that's strange right?" 

She shakes her head softly. "Not necessarily. I am too. It makes sense. I mean we've already covered all the topics one would normally talk about on a first date because people don't usually have their first date after knowing each other for over five years. So we don't have those easy, "what are you from? what do you do for a living?" questions to help us settle in comfortably. And we've already had sex..." She breaks off, and Oliver's eyes widen. "I can't believe I just said that...this is why 'what do you do for a living' comes in handy." 

Oliver starts laughing, throwing his head back and laying a hand on his chest. Felicity blushes. 

"Well I think that's definitely one way to break the tension." He tells her once his laughter dies down. 

Felicity tucks some hair behind her ear. "Yup, just leave it to me." 

"But you're right." Oliver says, a little more seriously and she looks up to find his eyes boring into hers. "A lot has happened between us. It's silly to try to sit here and pretend it hasn't." 

"A _lot_ has happened," Felicity agrees, "but I don't regret a single moment." 

Oliver cocks his head. 

"Which I know sounds crazy," she continues, "but... Everything that's happened, the good and the bad, every single one led to this, right here. To you and I sitting across from one another having this conversation with nothing in between us anymore. If changing anything that happened means that _this_ , right now," she gestures between them, "doesn't happen..." She shakes her head. "I wouldn't risk it. So everything, good and bad, I can't bring myself to regret it all. I love every moment when I'm with you, no matter what." 

Oliver's eyes shine in the candle light, making them seem bluer than ever. Felicity lets out a breathy smile. 

"Are you ready to order now?" Their waiter asks, appearing out of nowhere. 

"Yes," Oliver's voice is rougher than it was before, "we know what we want now." 

* * *

"No Oliver I can't don't make me..." Felicity closes her eyes tight, shaking her head. 

He chuckles. "Felicity..." 

"No, it's too hard." 

"There are only four options." He assures her, pushing the menu to her side of the table. Felicity shakes her head. "And even that is too many, it's an impossible choice." 

Oliver smiles at her antics and takes back the menu. "So you're saying no dessert then?" 

"I never said _that_... I'm just saying there's too much deliciousness on that menu to chose from." 

"So what do you want to do then?" 

Felicity looks up at him then, she's sure her cheeks are red from the candlelight and all that wine...Oliver might also factor into that equation somehow. She plays with her bracelet before responding. "I'd need to think about it." 

Oliver cocks his head before calling over the waiter and asking for the check. At her curious gaze he tells her, "I have an idea." 

Once the meal is paid for, and he doesn't even let her try to lift a finger in that department, they walk outside to the valet parking. 

"Wait right here." Oliver murmurs to her and goes to speak to the valet attendant. Felicity watches as they exchange a few words. Then the other man nods and Oliver makes his way back over to her. 

"What was that about?" She asks as he returns to her side. 

"Oh nothing. Just a small agreement. Shall we?" He directs her across the street, away from the valet. 

"Are we not taking the car...?" 

"Don't you what to walk off some of this food?" 

Felicity thinks for a moment then consents, missing the fact that Oliver just answered her question with a question. 

"You're right, if I don't start burning some of this off I won't be able to get up tomorrow." 

Oliver chuckles. 

"And then if I don't go to work I'll be fired. Which means no money for food, or you know, other necessities...so I just lay in bed all day. And eventually I'll slip into a food coma." 

"Death by food coma?" Oliver quirks an eyebrow at her. 

She nods. "There're worse ways to go out." 

"I suppose." 

She smiles at him humoring her. "Thank you for tonight." 

He looks down at her and Felicity can only meet his eyes for a moment before quickly turning her gaze straight ahead. "The food and the conversation...the company..." She smiles up at him. "I really enjoyed myself, I'm still enjoying myself but...you know." 

He smirks at her. "I'm glad." 

They're quiet for a moment. 

"I never said thank you." 

She pauses in her tracks, quirking an eyebrow in question. 

He walks forward a bit more then stops to stand in front of her. "For five years." He explains. 

"For five years you believed in me. More than anyone else, more than I did. You just always saw something better in me." 

She shakes her head, smiling down at the ground before letting her eyes to meet his. "I just saw what was already there. What has always been there." 

Oliver looks at a spot over her shoulder, seeming lost in thought. "I would have never gotten The Gambit without you. I would have never been able to tell me dad I didn't want to work at QC or figure out what I wanted to do..." He refocuses back on her face. "If it wasn't for you none of that would have been possible." 

"You would have figured it out on your own eventually." 

He smirks, shaking his head. "See there you go again, having so much faith, so much belief in me." 

"Well, you are the man that I..." Her eyes flicker up to his and he swallows loudly. "...believe in." She finished quietly. "And I've always believed in you." 

He looks down at her, his gaze burning. And Felicity can feel every inch of her skin buzzing with energy. The sidewalk suddenly feels so dark and isolated. 

"Felicity..." He says quietly, in that special way of his, and she shivers. 

"Are you cold?" He asks, his fingers brushing down her arm lightly, leaving goose bumps in their wake. 

"Yes." And it's not until after she answer that she realizes it's true. It's chillier out here than it was when they first got to the restaurant. But standing so close to him, the amount of heat he radiates naturally, she can barely feel the wind pick up around them. 

Oliver takes a step back, taking his heat with him. She almost frowns until she realizes what he's doing. He slides his coat off and brings it around her, draping it over her shoulders. Instantly Felicity is surrounded by his warmth and his smell—a combination of woodsy cologne and Oliver. She smiles into his lapel. "Thank you." 

"Of course." He nods. 

They start walking again but it doesn't feel random to Felicity, almost as if she can feel him gently guiding her. 

"Oliver, where are we going?" 

He smiles secretly. "You'll see." 

"More surprises Mr. Queen?" 

His eyes flicker down at her. "Just one more." 

She shakes her head. 

"You should learn to enjoy surprises." He teases. 

"Surprises are just mysterious," she says, wrapping his coat around her more tightly, "and mysteries bug me, then need to be solved." 

He rolls his eyes at her and she smirks, walking around a fire hydrant in front of them. He grabs her by the shoulder and turns her, directing her gaze. "Well there, mystery solved." 

Her eyes fall on a small little cart on a broken wheel. A cherry man stands behind it with a sign that indicates he sells Italian desserts. 

She turns to look at Oliver over her shoulder. 

"It's where we're getting dessert," he informs her, pulling her forward. 

" _Ciao_!" Oliver calls out to the man. 

The man turns to him and smiles. They exchange a few more pleasantries in Oliver's limited Italian vocabulary, Felicity recalls the semester he took of it in college to impress those Italian exchange students. They speak for a moment more before the man gestures towards her, and asks Oliver something. Oliver smiles and shakes his head then beckons her closer. 

She steps up, waving shyly. 

"Aleksei," he addresses the man, "this is Felicity. Felicity, meet Aleksei." 

The man smiles, wiping his hand on his apron and holding it out to her. She takes it, shaking it. "Nice to meet you." 

" _Piacere di conoscerti bella félicita_." He kisses the back of her hand and bows his head. 

Felicity smiles, blushing as he lets go of her hand. 

"Ok, slow down there. She's my date." 

Aleksei smirks. " _Mie scuse_." He holds up two items to Oliver from behind his cart. 

Oliver hands her a small container of gelato. He holds a cannoli in his other hand. 

" _Grazie_." Felicity smiles at Aleksei. 

He grins at her. " _Godere_." 

As Oliver starts to lead her away, with his hand hovering over the small of her back, Aleksei calls something out to Oliver. He simply smiles and shakes his head in response, but Felicity doesn't catch what the other man said. 

"Dig in." Oliver says, pointing to her gelato. 

_Don't need to tell me twice._ Felicity brings a small scoop up to her mouth, taking a bite. Her eyes widen as she moans. "Mmm, this is so good!" 

Oliver smiles. "And you were hesitant at first. I told you, you should learn to enjoy these surprises." 

"How did you even find out about that place?" She asks, walking backwards to see him as she eats her gelato happily. 

"Raisa used to take me there as a child." 

She stops in her tracks, slapping his arm. 

"Ow..." 

"Oliver Queen after 5 years of friendship, why didn't you ever tell me about that place?" 

He smiles down at her, pulling her to continue moving. "Because I hadn't been there since high school...maybe even before that. Raisa reminded me about it." 

"Mmm," she hums, her feigned anger already dissipating the more she eats her gelato. 

"Let's eat here." Oliver says as they stop at a small, seemingly random seating area. Black iron cast chairs and tables placed on a dirt patch, the trees surrounding it littered with small lights. 

"Oh," she falters in her steps, taking in the beautiful scene. He pulls on her hand gently, as it's still engulfed in his sleeve, and pulls out a chair for her. 

Felicity walks forward slowly, her head craning to see all the lights tangled in the branches of the tree, giving the illusion on stars surrounding them. 

"Should I even ask how you found this place?" She breathes out as she takes a seat. 

He walks around her to the other chair. "Kinda deceives the point of a surprise." 

She throws him a look. "I though you said you only had one more." 

"It's a two parter." He concedes, taking a seat. "Do you want a bite?" He holds out his cannoli to her. 

"Mmhmm." She nods, bring her face closer to take a piece of the cannoli. "Oh that's good too! Here, try mine." She holds up her spoon to him. 

His eyes shine as he wraps his mouth around her spoon. 

The intimate gesture, oddly enough, feels very comfortable and natural. Of course, they had shared food before, on multiple occasions. But there was no denying that _this_ was different. And Felicity was finding, over the course of the night that it was a kind of different she quiet enjoyed, and could see herself quickly getting used to. 

"That _is_ good." Oliver says over a mouthful of gelato. 

She smiles at his delight with the dessert. "Told you." She takes a look around her. "This place is beautiful. Do you now what it reminds me of?" 

"That little opening we found right before the summer when we were out with the guys?" Oliver replies, without missing a beat. 

She turns to look at him. "Yeah...when we were under the stars and you couldn't list off any more constellations..." 

"Because it was still too bright outside." 

"And because I had gotten them all out of you already." She smirks at him. 

He smiles fondly. "You always did get the best out of me." 

Felicity's breath catches and Oliver's eyes seem to get darker in the twinkling lights around them. 

"You weren't alone in that." She says quietly. "You always had a way of getting the best from me too. Of coaxing me out of a panic attack, of calming me..." 

"Like on thanksgiving?" 

Felicity's eyes snap to him and then she looks down. She knows exactly what thanksgiving he's talking about. She tries not to think about it, and especially not talk about it, at least after she told Sara about if for the first time over a month ago... 

"Yeah," she manages, almost shaky, "like that." 

"You know we never talked about that kiss." 

"We didn't have to." Felicity shakes her head. "It was a spur of the moment thing, it didn't mean anything—" 

"That's were you're wrong Felicity." 

She looks back up at him, at the conviction in his voice. 

"It ended my relationship with McKenna." 

"But you guys were all cuddly after that, like everything was fine." She insists. 

"I know. But when I walked her home that night she mentioned that I seemed distant. And a few weeks later when she broke up with me she told me it was because she felt that when we were together I wasn't really present, I wasn't really _there_ with her, especially since that night." Felicity can't look away, trapped in his gaze. "You know, Helena told me the same thing. And they were right. They didn't have my full attention, because mentally I was always with you." 

"Oh..." It's breathy and lame but it's the only thing Felicity can choke out at the moment. 

"Are you done?" He asks softly. 

She's startled by the sudden question. 

"With your gelato, are you done?" He elaborates. 

Felicity looks down to find that the little that was left of her gelato has melted to the bottom of her cup and his cannoli is merely crumbs on the paper. 

"Yea. I guess I am." 

"Good." He nods. "Let's get you home." 

* * *

The car ride back to her place is spent in alternating spans of chitchat and comfortable silence. The hard, heavy, breath catching topics being left behind. And after he parks on her street, Oliver goes around to open her passenger door and walks her the short distance from the car up the stairs leading to her front door. 

Like her, he doesn't seem to want to end this night anytime soon. 

Felicity clasps her hands—still enveloped in his jacket—in front of her as they walk, side by side, to her door. 

"I don't want to sound like every cliché teen romance movie, but I did have a really nice time tonight." 

Oliver smiles down at her, his hands clasped behind his back. "Good. I did too." 

Felicity reaches her door then turns around to face him, goodbye lodged in the back of her throat and unwilling to come out. "But really for our first date you set the bar really high. Not sure how to top that one." She freezes. "Not that I'm saying we're going to have more dates—" she puts her hand out quickly. "And I'm not implying we _won't_ have more dates. I'm just saying if this was our only date then..." 

"Felicity," he reaches out a hand to rest on her shoulder. "This won't be our only date. They'll be tons more. That is, if you want them." 

"I do." She nods quickly. "I do want more dates with you." 

Oliver gives her his brilliant smile again, the one that makes butterflies erupt in her gut. 

"So I'll call you then...later." He shifts his weight and she can tell he's nervous again. 

Felicity smiles at him shyly. "Well if we're sticking to all the first date rules then you should probably give me a goodbye kiss. You know, etiquette and all..." 

Oliver's eyes shine. "Yeah?" 

She nods slowly, her heartbeat starting to pick up. 

He takes a step closer and instinctually Felicity presses herself flat against her door. He moves slowly to her until there's just a small space between their bodies. Oliver ducks his head, bringing his face closer inch by inch. She feels his thumb graze her cheek and Felicity's eyes flutter close automatically. Then she finally feels his lips brush against hers in a soft caress. She lets out a small sigh and he does it again, pressing more firmly, allowing her lips to feel the outline of his. 

After a moment he moves back, just enough. Felicity finally opens her eyes to find him already watching her. And she hasn't had his face this close to her in so long, she can make out the specs of grey in his dark blue eyes. And his sent...she's been smelling it all night having his jacket on her but now, being surrounded by him...it's much more potent and intoxicating. It makes her head swim. 

"Felicity..." He lets out softly, like it's a prayer and a plea and a promise all at once. 

And the next thing she knows, she's lunging forward, taking them both by surprise. She throws her arms around his neck, dragging him closer as her lips press firmly against his. His jacket falls from around her. Felicity feels Oliver freeze for a split second before he's returning her enthusiasm. The hand that's still on her cheek tightens and moves to the back of her head, holding her in place. His other hand goes around her waist, securing her to him. Oliver moves her back into the door and Felicity gasps, he takes full advantage and guides his tongue into her mouth. Felicity moans as Oliver familiarizes himself with her mouth once again. She cards her fingers through his hair, massaging the back of his neck. Oliver grows at the feel and the vibration of that sounds has Felicity hitching her leg up and around his hip. 

She breaks away suddenly, gasping for air and Oliver does the same. 

"I'm sorry...that was a bit...much, for a...first date." She says between breaths, her chest heaving. 

"My fault...too." He says, just as breathless and Felicity can see the smudges her lipstick left on him. He bends down to retrieve his jacket, forgotten at their feet. 

Felicity knows her skin is red and the blood pumping through her veins feels electric. She gives Oliver a meek smile. 

He returns the sentiment, taking another step back. "Goodnight Felicity." 

"Goodnight Oliver." 

He looks back at her after every step down the stairs. 

She smiles once he reaches the bottom. She turn to unlock her door, giving him a small wave as she steps inside and closes the door. 

With the door closed, she slumps against it, sighing deeply. She brings her fingers up to her lips, touching them faintly. She just had her first goodnight kiss with Oliver...after their first date...after he asked her out... 

It's hard not to squeal at the thought, and if she were Donna she'd be bouncing around the house. But she's not her mother dos he's not doing that...but she is bouncing up in down in place, over brimming with happiness. 

Her phone buzzes and Felicity almost doesn't answer it, enjoying her little "first date with Oliver" bubble. But it might be important so... 

She reaches into her clutch and pulls out her phone, opening to find a message from Oliver. 

_I just went on this amazing date with this amazing girl._

She smiles at his text. She quickly types out a response. 

_Really? I'd love to hear more about this date of yours._

His reply comes seconds later. 

_Tomorrow at Jitters around 12? I'll tell you all about it._

Felicity bites her lip as she texts him back. 

_Perfect. Sounds like a date._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think? See I'm not all evil, I wasn't going to keep torturing you forever :)  
> Next week is finals and if I survive that my first order of business will be wrapping up this baby. Remember only a chapter and an epilogue left.  
> Also I don't pretend to know any Italian, just Spanish and French, so the Italian portion was all Google transate but I tried to make it relatively easy to follow 
> 
> Your comments are the wind beneath my wings, so let's keep flying yeah? :)
> 
> Leave me a prompt on tumblr: [katanabaabe](http://katanabaabe.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: katanaqueen_
> 
> Much love


	24. Unity Candle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Yes I am back from the dead. Can't thank everyone enough for their continued support and interest in this story. This has been one of the most humbling experiences of my life.  
> Hope you guys like this last episodic chapter because after this, there's just an epilogue and then we're done!

"It's open!" Oliver hears Felicity call out after he knocks on her door. He tries the knob; the door opens easily. 

"I told you, you should really keep your door locked." He huffs as he steps into her apartment and closes the door behind him. "It's not safe." 

"I know, I know!" He hears her vice coming from the depths of the kitchen. "I just did it because I knew you were coming and I'm, um, occupied at the moment." 

He places his jacket over the back of her couch. "Occupied with what exactly?" 

"You'll see!" Is the only answer he gets as he steps further into her apartment. 

Oliver surveys Felicity's set up. The lights are dimmed, the apartment blanketed in soft light. She's put a white cloth on the small dining table in the living room and set two plates with a candle burning between them. It's cozy, intimate. 

"What's the occasion?" He calls out. 

"That I'm utilizing my kitchen for the first time for more than just cereal." Comes her response from the kitchen. 

Oliver hadn't seen her for a while. He ended up having to cancel their coffee date because something came up at the gym. She was more than understanding, sending over Indian take out for the whole gym. Ted was over the moon. Three days after he canceled their date, she had come into his office. He'd looked up as she stood by his door unsure. 

"Felicity, hi." 

"Do you want to go out?" She had blurted out. Before he had the chance to respond she continued. "With me I mean. Do you want to go out with me? Like on a date, another date." 

He couldn't fight his amused smile. "Sure." 

"Ok...good. Come by my place around 7, does that work?" 

"That works," he had replied, his amusement never waving. 

"Ok. I'll see you at 7 then." She nodded then and smoothed a hand down her dress before making her way out of his office. 

"Did you come all the way over here on your lunch break to ask me out?" 

She had fiddled with the strap of her purse. "Honestly, I almost considered sending you an edible arrangement. I just had to come down here and ask you in person." 

His smile had grown wider, a teasing tone in his voice. "An _edible arrangement_?" 

She had bitten her lip. "I said I almost considered it." 

"Here." Felicity says, breaking him out of the memory as she steps out of the kitchen holding up a bottle of wine. "You can pour us some while I finish up in there." She gestures over her shoulder with her thumb to the kitchen. 

He takes the wine from her hand as he takes in her appearance. Her hair is up in a high bun, little strands of golden locks falling out and framing her face, her glasses sit perched on her nose, accenting her bright blue eyes, and she's wearing an apron, something he's never seen before. But what catches his eye is the necklace she’s wearing. 

“I thought you lost it.” He says, gesturing to the small arrow hanging off the delicate chain around her neck. 

She looks down, smiling. “I thought so too. I ended finding it in some of my old stuff back at Donna’s place.” 

He stares down at it, remembering when he gave it to her… 

“Things have a way of making their way back home.” She says quietly. 

Oliver looks at her. “Huh?” 

Felicity quickly shakes her head, “Oh nothing. Just remembering something my mom told me.” 

She’s blushing now so he decides to let it go. Instead he allows his eyes to roam down her figure. 

"Is this new?" He asks, picking up the edge of the apron. It's black with dark green ones and zeroes on it. But they're hard to see past the egg yoke and multiple food stains on it. 

"Oh, this? No. Caitlin gave it to me ages ago, as a joke I'm sure but who's laughing now?" She smiles up at him triumphantly and some more hair falls out of her bun. 

He smiles at her. "So I see you're taking this chef thing seriously then?" 

"Oh deathly serious." She holds up her hands as evidence, they seem to be littered with small pieces of celery and carrot. 

"So what exactly is on the menu for tonight?" 

She smirks up at him, her hands on her hips. "Well you are just going to have to wait and see." 

"Is that so?" 

"It absolutely is. And there's nothing you can do to try to make me ruin the surprise." 

Something catches his eye behind her. "Felicity...?" 

"Nope." She cuts him off with a shake of her head. 

"But Felicity—" 

"I'm serious Oliver," she insists, "you're just going to have to wait and see." 

"Felicity I think something's burning." 

Her eyes widen and she quickly turns around to see the small cloud of smoke escape the kitchen. 

"Oh _frack_!" She runs into the kitchen. 

"Do you need any help?" He asks, setting the bottle of wine down on the table. 

There's some moving around in the kitchen before she answers. "No, no. I'm fine. Everything's under control in here. Just—" a loud clanging sound interrupts her, followed by a small curse. 

"Felicity?" He takes a step toward her kitchen. 

"Just pour yourself a glass of wine and dinner will be ready in just a moment." 

Less than a minute later the smoke detector goes off. 

Oliver rushes in. "Felicity let me help." As he walks into the kitchen, he's greeted by the sight of Felicity standing on top of a chair with a broom in hand, uselessly trying to clear the smoke away from the detector on the ceiling. Discarded on the floor, next to the open oven, is a tray of burnt balls of some sort. And a pot of something is boiling on the stove above. He moves to quickly turn off the stove before turning towards Felicity. 

"Here," he holds his hand out for the broom. "I'll do this, go open a window to let the air out." Steeping off the chair with his help, she gives him the broom. She walks over to the window and pushes it shut. 

A few more minutes and the detector finally stops its ringing, the smoke having cleared up. 

Felicity takes the broom back from Oliver as he puts the chair away. "Thank you." 

"Of course," he nods. 

She sighs loudly, wiping her forehead. "So much for dinner..." 

"What was this supposed to be?" He asks, picking up the tray full of burnt food. 

Felicity walks over, looking down at the tray. "It was _supposed_ to be knish." 

"Oh..." Oliver studies the little charted balls. He doesn't know much about Jewish food but he figures it's not meant to be cooked to a crisp. 

"And this," she walks over to the pot on the stove and takes the cover off, instantly greeted by a cloud of steam, "was going to be our main dish, Matzah ball soup." She picks up a spoon and attempts to mix the soup but the spoon gets stuck. She frowns down at the pot. 

Oliver takes a step forward. "I'm sure it would have been great." He tries. 

Felicity shakes her head. "No, I'm an awful cook. My mom used to say that the Smoak women were named after the trail of smoke they'd leave behind when they left a kitchen. I used to think she was only talking about herself..." She shakes her head then musters a smile up at him, putting the lid back on the pot. "Take out then?" 

He smiles at her hopeful tone. "Sure. I'm paying this time though, you bought it last time. And for the whole gym, I might add." He walks over to pick his phone out of his jacket pocket. 

"Sorry dinner turned out be such a bust, I really wanted to do something nice." She apologizes, folding her apron. 

Oliver turns around. "Don't worry about it. Although I'm not sure almost burning down the kitchen constitutes as 'something nice'." He smirks, teasing. 

Felicity walks up to him, hands on her hips. "I'll remind you, Oliver, that the first time you made breakfast for me, I almost died." 

He can't help the laughter that bubbles out of his mouth, the image of Felicity's shocked expression instantly coming to mind. "That was not my fault." 

"You practically poisoned me!" She smiles. 

"It was not that spicy." 

"Not that spicy?" She shakes her head in disbelief, "I just don't understand how you haven't burn your taste buds off yet." 

He smirks down at her then realizes how close they've gotten during their little argument. He holds up his phone in between. "Uh, Chinese sound good?" 

Felicity blinks up at him, seeming to not understand the question for a moment. Then she takes a step back and nods her head quickly, putting some space between them. "Chinese, um, yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. I'm just going to go...wash up." She nods at him as she takes another step back then disappears down hallway. 

Oliver lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and opens his phone. 

* * *

Moments later they're seated at the table. They each have a glass of wine in front of them as they wait for dinner to be delivered. 

"Was this your first time making...?" 

"Knish." Felicity supplies easily, "and Matzah ball soup." 

"Knish and Matzah ball soup." Oliver nods, trying to memorize the words. 

"Yes." She answers over the rim of her glass. "I've actually never tried to make any Jewish dishes before." 

"So why now? It's an interesting choice." 

Felicity grows quiet then and it makes Oliver look up. She has her head down, appearing deep in contemplation. He's about to ask what the matter is, afraid he might have said something wrong, but then she looks up, her eyes dark and serious. He waits for her to speak. 

"I remember watching my dad make it." 

And Oliver stays deathly silent. Throughout the years he's known Felicity, she's said next to nothing regarding her father. She doesn't like to talk about him. So he had becoming a looming mysterious figure, a missing puzzle piece in the enigma that is Felicity Smoak. Oliver had complied a list of everything he knew about about her father through her. In all these years of knowing her the list only was only comprised of three things: he had abandoned her and Donna when Felicity was very young, she hadn't heard from him since, and he was a very smart man. But that was it. And next to Sara, Oliver probably knew the most about Felicity's dad. Donna never spoke of him either. 

So as Felicity sits across from him, her hands clasp tightly as she prepares to say more, Oliver knows that he's getting something that no one else has ever received. He's getting a glimpse further into this woman he has known for years, being allowed to go deeper into the dark crevasses of herself that not many knew existed and even fewer got to see. But Felicity was allowing him to see, she was trusting him with her vulnerability. 

So Oliver stayed quiet, allowing Felicity to formulate her thoughts. 

"It's one of the few memories I have of him actually," she continues after a moment, "you know how you have two or three really clear memories from your early childhood, where everything is in perfect detail and you can remember it like it was yesterday? Well watching him make that for dinner is one of mine." 

As she speaks now, with her eyes fixed on the front door, Oliver knows she's current lost in that memory. 

"I remember he used to sit me on the counter top so I could watch him work. I used to hand him carrots and celery and eggs. And I'd help him stuff the potato and onion into the knish...but I never set the timer on the oven, I guess that's where I went wrong." She lets out a little breathy chuckle and Oliver waits with batted breath to see if she'll say more. 

She looks back at him finally, her voice a little harder. "I admired him so much. Donna and I didn't really get along when I was growing up and even though I was so mad at my dad for leaving us...I couldn't help but think that if he were still here, he'd get me. Because he always understood me. But I hated what he did to my mom. So much so that I promised myself I would never do that...I guess that's life's irony, we sometimes become what we hate." She gives him a small smile then but it doesn't reach her eyes. Oliver reaches his hand over to grasp hers on top of the table. 

She gives him a more genuine smile at that, "I was so caught up in making sure I did what he didn't, and keep my promise to get married, that I made an even bigger mess of things than he did... I became my dad." 

Felicity shakes her head, her eyes watering. She looks away for a moment. 

"But I can't let him loom over my life like this anymore and I can't use him as an excuse. I have to just get over what he did and move on with my life and just be...better. Seeing Donna so happy with Walter helped me see that. If she could get past my father's abandonment than so can I." 

He squeezes her hand lightly. "I'm glad to hear that Felicity." 

"But you're worried aren't you?" 

He tilts his head in question. "Worried about what?" 

"You're worried that I'm going to do the same thing I did to Ray. You're worried that I'm going to," she swallows hard, "cheat on you, that I'm going to hurt you more than I already have." 

"Felicity..." 

"No, it makes sense for you to be worried. I don't blame you. I mean, work wasn't the only reason you cancelled the other day right?" 

He looks up at her. She always did know him so well, could always read him like a children's book. And this is no exception. He takes a deep breath. "Not completely...no." She nods once at his admission, pressing her lips together tightly. 

After their date, Oliver had the whole ride back to his place to analyze it. And after he recapped all the great parts he thought, _now what?_ And then he started to worry, because the date was only meant to give them a shot, a real shot, to see if they could really go out as a couple. And after he realized they could, he wondered if there was really a future for them. Because he still wasn't completely over everything that happened between them. And getting to be with Felicity like that, without having to hold himself back, gave him such a rush that he worried they were moving too fast. 

Felicity gets up and walks over to his side of the table. "Oliver, when I came back I told you that I was willing to wait however long it took until you were ready to give me a shot." She leans on the edge of the table and he has to sit back to look up at her. "You've given me that chance, now let me prove to you that we deserve that opportunity, let me show you how serious I am about us." She leans forward, her face open and honest. 

He looks up at her, his eyes searching. "I want to give you that Felicity, I do. And I wish I could completely trust you again..." 

"Trust has to be earned Oliver, let me earn it back. We can get through this." 

He stares at her face, so hopeful, so sure. He finds himself wondering, not for the first time since she got back, what cause this change in her. "Why do you have so much faith in us?" She cocks her head to a side, as if really contemplating his question, then she says, "Because I'm not scared anymore. I know that's part of what's holding you back, it used to hold me back. I used to have panic attacks because of it. But not anymore." 

"Why not?" He asks. 

"Because of you." She braces herself against the table. "I don't know if you know this but I was having a full fledged panic attack in the back of that chapel before you walked in." 

He tilts his head back at the new information. "I didn't know that." He says softly. 

"Yeah well," she gives him a small smile, her eyes warm, "if you feel like you can't breathe and you're contemplating jumping out of a window, it's probably a good indicator that you shouldn't get married." He gives a small chuckle at that, "But the second you walked in, I forgot all about that. And you've always had that affect on me. You always knew how to subdue the panic. Whether it was panic about what to do after graduation, or feeling helpless after being dumped, or freaking out about marrying the wrong person, you always knew how to make it go away." 

"Yeah, I'd usually just shut you up with a kiss." He says, remembering that being his solution for two out of the three times she listed. 

She bites her lip. "But one way or another you knew how to calm me down, how to get me to think straight. And when you walked into my dressing room, for a moment I thought straight and I knew I was making a mistake." 

Felicity looks down at her hands and Oliver follows the movement with his own eyes, watching her intertwine her fingers over her lap. "When I left Starling, I was trying to get away from myself, from all the bad choices I made. I was trying to get back to who I was before that all happened. And even while in a different state, you knew how to calm me down. Because everyday I was away, it became more and more clear to me what a big part of my life you are and how I needed to make things right with you." 

She places her hand lightly on his chest, right over his heart. Her eyes flicker down to it slightly before she looks back at him. "I came back because even thousands of miles away, you're still the most important thing to me. I'm not scared and I'm not running anymore, thanks to you. I just want to do the same for you, because I love you." 

Oliver looks up into her eyes, she looks so shy and vulnerable he can't help but pull her in for a kiss. It's short and sweet and when they pull away it's only enough that their foreheads are still touching. 

They stay like that for a moment, breathing in each other's air. When Oliver opens his eyes he finds Felicity's still closed. 

"Hi," he says, his voice coming out rougher than he intended. 

Her eyes open then, her lips curling up into a smile. "Hi." 

At that moment there's a knock on the door. Felicity moves away and stands up. "It's the food, I'll get it." 

* * *

They're not going to sleep together. It's an unspoken agreement between the two of them. Since sex is what got them in trouble in the first place and started this whole thing, Felicity figures it's a good way to go. Besides it's not like physical attraction is the only thing between them. She fell in love with Oliver for his heart first and foremost. The fact that they have great sexual chemistry and Oliver is built like a Greek God is just the cherry on top. And Felicity figures this is good for them, they're trying to do things right—at least as right as possible having already done everything backwards when it came to their relationship. But she knows they won't cross that line and sleep together until both of them can say with 100% confidence that they're past everything that happened. 

And that might take awhile. 

Felicity knows that Oliver is guarding himself, not letting her in completely. And she totally understands why and doesn't blame him for doing so, she just wishes she knew how to help them get to that place where he felt comfortable enough opening up to her about it. She knows Oliver and knows this is a conclusion he has to come to on his own when he's ready. He just needs time. She has to give him that, she _will_ give him that, she just feels so helpless sitting back and waiting, hoping there was more she could do. 

After much debate, she decides to ask Thea about it when she invites her over later that week, with a text that simply reads: 

_Swing by after work. I have a bottle of rosé that wants you to keep us company._

Felicity smiles when she receives the text. And with the recent acquisition of Unidac Industries that has tripled her and Curtis' workload, she can definitely use a drink. 

She invites Curtis to go with her when they leave QC but he politely declines, stating his husband is waiting with dinner at home. She makes a small quip about them being a boring old married couple and he simply responds with: "you'll understand when you get to my level." 

When she arrives, Felicity lets herself in with the key Thea gave her after she injured her arm, Felicity was coming in so often to check in and help her out that Thea figured she should just have her own key. 

When she opens the door, Thea is opening a bottle of wine in the kitchen. 

"Ah, just in time." The young Queen smiles, producing two glasses from the cupboard. 

"Hey," Felicity smiles, placing her purse down on the kitchen island. "How's your arm?" 

Thea shrugs. "All healed, but it left this nasty scar behind..." She rolls her sleeve up to reveal the ragged pink line across her forearm. "But guys dig that right?" She jokes as she pours herself some wine. 

"I'm sure." Felicity nods, allowing Thea to pour wine for her as well. 

Thea sets down the bottle and picks up her own glass. "So how was your day?" She asks, coming around to join Felicity on the other side of the island. 

The blonde sighs. "Busy. Your father recently purchased Unidac Industries at an auction so Curtis and I have been hard at work merging their existing branches and projects with our own in Applied Sciences." 

"That sounds like fun." Thea quips sarcastically over the rim of her glass. 

"It is fun. I enjoy the work I do. It's just exhausting sometimes." 

"And that's why I passed on the family business. If I'm going to be working my butt off, it's going to be doing something that provides booze." 

Felicity holds up her glass to better inspect her wine. "Is that where our drink comes from tonight?" 

"Actually, no." Thea folds her leg underneath her. "This is curtesy of Alex Davis. An apology of sorts since he had to reschedule our plans for dinner." 

"Oh. That campaign advisor, right?" 

"That would be the one." 

Felicity turns towards her. "I didn't know you were still seeing him." 

"I am." Thea says, taking a sip of her wine. 

"And...?" Felicity presses. 

The young brunette sighs, resting her chin on her palm. "And nothing. He's nice, he really likes me but...I'm just not completely feeling it, you know?" 

She nods knowingly. "Oh I know, trust me I get it. But take it from someone who has experience in the matter, if you don't see it going anywhere, you should tell him." She knows it's what she should have done with Ray the moment she realized she was never going to feel about him the way he felt about her. 

Thea meets her eyes, understanding what Felicity is saying. She nods. "You're right, I should talk to him." 

Felicity smiles, placing her hand on Thea's knee, and takes a sip from her glass. 

"So how are things going with my brother?" 

She almost chokes on her drink. "Oh, we don't have to talk about that." 

Thea rolls her eyes. "Your best friend, and the only other person that knows Ollie as well as you do, is hundreds of miles away. You can talk to me." She tilts her head and makes a face. "Unless it's anything _detailed_..." She shudders. 

Felicity breathes out a small laugh at Thea's expression. "No, it's nothing like that. It's just...he's being guarded. And I completely understand why, I just wish there was something I could say or do to let him know that he can talk to me about it, I want us to be able to talk about it." Her voice sounds kind of helpless by the end of her sentence, she turns to Thea. 

The younger girl looks down sympathetically and places her glass down on the island. "Ollie being guarded is just...typical Ollie. You've even said so yourself before, he doesn't want the world to know he's hurting. So he carries all this weight on his shoulders because he thinks he can fix it all by himself." 

"But he doesn't have to." Felicity insists. 

"I know that. And I think, logically, he does too. But he doesn't always think logically." She holds Felicity's hands between her own. "Look, my brother is crazy for you. He always has been, even when he couldn't see it himself. And I think he's probably just worried of moving too fast with you and getting hurt again." 

Felicity bites her bottom lip, focusing on Thea's words. 

"I don't know if you've noticed but Ollie doesn't really think clearly when it comes to you. I mean he showed up drunk to your wedding, what a brilliant stroke of genius that idea was." She rolls her eyes. 

"If I recall correctly, you showed up drunk as well." 

"I got drunk _at_ the wedding," she corrects, "totally different." 

Felicity laughs despite herself. 

Thea leans back, picking up her glass. "Now if you don't mind, that's what we should be now: drunk. Get to drinking Smoak!" 

* * *

As Oliver is locking the gym up for the night, his phone starts ringing. He fishes it out of his gym bag and looks down to find it's a call from Thea. 

"Hey Speedy." He greets as he tugs of the door handle to ensure the gym is properly locked. 

"Ollie you need to come by and get your girlfriend." 

Oliver frowns and he can hear giggling in the background on Thea's end. "Wait...Felicity's there now?" 

"Yeah, I asked her to come by and she got...pretty wasted." The giggling in the background continues and Oliver hears Thea struggling to move the phone away from the laughter. 

He looks down at his watch as he makes his way over to his motorcycle. "I'll be right over okay? I'm leaving The Gambit right now." 

He hangs up with Thea and jumps on his motorcycle. As Oliver makes his way around cars, in and out of traffic, he's happy he brought his bike with him today. He parks it in front of Thea's apartment complex and starts up the stairs to her place. 

When he gets to her door, he finds it unlocked. _She's learning from Felicity_ , he thinks. Rolling his eyes, he pushes the door open, ready to reprimand his sister for being so careless. Oliver hears voices coming the from the kitchen and makes his way towards them. 

"And then what?" 

"And then nothing. He gave me back my canned soup and I left." 

"Felicity, seriously, you didn't even give him your number?" 

He stops just shy at the threshold of the kitchen when he hears his sister's question. 

"Nope." 

"But why? He was clearly hitting on you, and you said he looked as good as he did in high school..." 

Felicity sighs then and Oliver can hear her fussing with her clothes before she responds. 

"Because I knew that if I gave him my number he was going to ask me out and...it would feel like I was cheating on Oliver." 

"But you guys weren't even together yet. Hell, you didn't even know if you were going to come back yet." Thea says. 

Oliver frowns, trying to understand exactly what they're talking about. 

"I know," Felicity says and he can imagine her pushing her glasses further up her nose after saying that, "I know it doesn't make any sense but that's the way I've always thought when it comes to your brother. I mean I wouldn't even sleep with Ray after the first time Oliver and I—" 

"Okay Drunk Felicity this exactly the 'too much information territory' I specifically asked to not be privy to." Thea cuts her off. 

The uncontrollable giggling is back from the background of the phone call earlier. "I'm sorry Thea." 

Oliver figures this is as good a time as any to make his presence known. "Speedy!" He calls out before rounding the corner to where Felicity and his sister are perched on stools by the kitchen island, two empty bottles of wine between them. _Maybe Thea is the bad influence in this relationship..._

"Ollie," Thea greets, smiling up at him. 

"Your door was unlocked." 

Felicity continues to giggle. "I told you he wasn't going to like that." She says in a sing song voice to his sister. "Just the other day he was like," she pulls her eyebrows together and purses her lips, giving her best stern expression, "'Felicity,'" she says in as deep a voice as she can manage in her inebriated state, "'I've warned you about the dangers of leaving your door unlocked.'" She breaks into another fit of giggles at that. 

Oliver turns to Thea. "Was that supposed to be me?" 

She smirks. "Felicity has been doing that all night, pretty spot on if you ask me." 

He scowls at his sister, Thea just laughs. 

"Want to hear me do Walter?" Felicity ask excitedly. As both Queens turn to face her, she frowns, "I meant do an _impression_ of Walter." Felicity looks confused as to how she could have possibly turned that into a double entendre. 

Oliver can't help but to smile at her dumbfounded expression. "I'll take her from here." He tells Thea. 

"Good because I have work tomorrow and she keeps giggling at everything." 

As if to prove Thea's point, Felicity giggles again. 

"Oh, as if you had nothing to do with it." He tells his sister when she points at the blonde as if to say _told you_. 

"It wasn't like I was force feeding her Ollie!" She protests as he comes and takes Felicity's hand, helping her up and walking her out of the kitchen. 

"Here are her keys." Thea toss them and Oliver catches them easily. "You can just pick up your car tomorrow." 

"I brought the bike actually," he says, wrapping an arm to secure around Felicity. "And I'll just ask Grant to give me a ride to the gym in the morning." 

"Sounds like a plan." She nods. 

"I'll let you know once I've tucked this one in." He monitors to the blonde in his arms 

"Hey, why are you guys talking about me like I'm not here. I'm here!" She mumbles, pouting. 

Thea turns to her. "I know you are honey. But now you're going home cuz Ollie's taking you." 

Felicity smiles then, leaning further into his side. "That's nice. That's so nice. Thank you for inviting me over. I had so much fun Thea." 

"I can tell you did." She smirks. "But don't thank me till the morning, kay?" 

Felicity nods, laughing softly. "Ok." She moves forward to wrap her arms around Thea. His sister returns the hug. 

"Take care." 

Felicity comes back into his arms, snuggling into his side. "You too, love you." 

"Love you too Felicity." Thea smiles then places her arm on Oliver's shoulder. "Drive safe." 

He nods at her. "I'll see you later Speedy." 

"Mmm," Felicity sighs from his side. "Take me to bed already." She cringes then, opening her eyes. "I mean home, I'm tired, sleepy. I want to go to bed to sleep...not to do anything else." She starts giggling then. 

Thea scrunched her nose. "And there's that TMI I was talking about," she nudges them towards the door. "So that's my cue, I'm going to bed." 

"Night Speedy." Oliver calls over his shoulder as he leads Felicity out the apartment. 

She has her arms wrapped around him the whole way down the stairs and out the building. He tells himself it's a good thing, besides he wouldn't want her to lose her footing and fall. When they reach the car she peeks up from under his arm and shakes her head. "Oh no, I'm in no condition to drive Oliver." 

He smiles down at her. "I'm driving Felicity." 

"Yeah," she nods, "that's a much better idea." 

Oliver opens the passenger door and helps her in, murmuring a soft, "Watch your head." 

Then he goes around and settles himself in the driver's seat. Once he's settled, key in the ignition, he sees Felicity staring at him from her seat. 

"What is it?" 

She just shrugs sleepily. "You just look funny in my car." 

He smirks, starting the car. "I told you, you drive a clown car." 

"Hey!" She pouts, turning to face the road, "That's not fair, you're a giant and you know it." 

He shakes his head, turning onto the main street. "Honestly, I don't understand how anyone else can fit in this car." 

"That was kinda the point," she murmurs, eyes fixed on the road, "it was just meant for me, no one else. No one else was ever meant to drive it, they wouldn't fit, and I liked it that way..." 

Oliver tries to imagine Ray cramped into the driver's seat but he quickly shakes the thought away. "But you let me drive it," he says carefully, gauging her reaction from the corner of his eye. 

Felicity readjusts herself in the seat, leaning her head more comfortably against the headrest. "Yeah well..." She breaks out in a small yawn before continuing, "turns out you've always been the exception." 

Oliver grows quiet then. He feels almost guilty, hearing this admission from Felicity in her less than sober state. He wonders if she would have confessed this much to him otherwise. In all the time he's known Felicity, as open as she is about many things, she always held her cards close to her chest whenever it came to the depths of her feelings for certain things. It was one of the main reasons it took him so long to see how much she truly cared about him. He turns to look at her and finds her asleep, eyes closed and chest rising and falling slowly in long even breaths. Turning back to the road, Oliver decides to let her sleep before they get to her place. She's given him a lot to think about in the meantime. 

_Turns out you've always been the exception..._

* * *

"Felicity...Felicity, you need to wake up." He tries to coax her out of sleep, nudging her. 

"Ugh, is it morning already?" She mumbles against the headrest, a frown in her voice. 

He smiles, gently tugging on her arm. "No it's not morning yet, but we're at your apartment." 

"Oh," she allows herself to be taken out of the car. "That was fast..." 

"Well you were asleep so..." 

Felicity stretches a little. "I guess that makes sense." 

"Come on." Oliver tugs on her elbow, leading her up the stairs to her door. 

She wobbles slightly and his grip tightens on her. "Stupid shoes," she mutters, bending down to try to undo the strap. As she does so, the movement causes her to practically topple over. Oliver is quick to catch and straighten her before she falls. 

"Maybe that's not the best idea." 

She sighs heavily, "Yeah, you're probably right." Her words slur slightly, but from sleep or the wine, he doesn't know. 

"You know what? I have a better idea." He tells her. 

Felicity turns to him. "Oh yeah? What's—oh!" She yelps as he bends down and picks her up, in one one smooth motion. Her arms immediately come around his neck. 

"Did I yelp again?" 

Oliver only chuckles in response. 

"I swear that's not common for me." 

He takes them up the stairs quickly, stopping in front of her door. "Keys?" 

She fishes through her bag for a minute before she produces them. "Got 'em!" Felicity unlocks the door and Oliver kicks it open, carrying her through the apartment. "Oh this really isn't—" she breaks off in a yawn, "isn't necessary." She sighs. 

"Just playing it safe." He assures. "Don't want you to get hurt." But he's not sure if it's more for her benefit rather than his own. 

"Ok Oliver, I trust you." Her arms tighten their hold on him and he feels her eyelashes flutter against his neck. "Just be careful." 

"We're here." He says softly, standing at the door to her bedroom. He walks in slowly and deposits her carefully on the bed. 

She instantly curls up on her side, pushing her hands together underneath the pillow and murmuring a soft, "Thanks." 

"Shouldn't you, um, change into something more comfortable?" Oliver stands by her bed scratching his neck, unsure what to do at this point. He doesn't know much about women's clothes but he doesn't think her tight skirt and blazer are ideal for sleep. And Thea has reprimanded him more than once about the importance of not wrinkling silk blouses. 

But Felicity just shakes her head, burying it further into the pillow. "Let me regret it tomorrow." 

"At least let me take off your shoes." He suggests, kneeling down. 

She doesn't say anything to discourage the idea so he begins trying to undo the small clasp on the outside of her ankle. But he's getting annoyed, about to give up because the small strap won't budge, when she speaks up. 

"It's fake." 

"Huh?" He looks up, her eyes are close see but she doesn't seem to be sleeping yet. 

"The clasp," she mutters, pointing down to her high heels, "is fake. The real one is on the other side." 

Oliver looks down and turns her foot in his hand. He finds an identical looking clasp on the inside of her ankle, but this one comes undone easily under his fingers. 

"Thanks." He tells her softly. 

"S'what I'm here for." She replies sleepily. 

Once he gets both shoes off her feet, he places them on the floor by the bed and turns to stand up. 

"Okay, well...good night." 

Felicity reaches out to grasp his wrist, stopping him before he can fully turn around. "Will you stay with me?" 

He looks down at her, his eyebrow raised in question. 

"Just until I fall asleep. Totally platonic," At his slight hesitance, she adds, "I promise I won't pull the moves on you." 

Oliver smiles. Even in her dark room he can see the small twinkle in her eye. "Okay." He agrees and Felicity scoots over, opening up some room for him. 

He climbs into the bed, his arm going around her and she automatically presses herself to his side, snuggling him. A soft sigh leaves her once they're settled in and Oliver smiles into her hair. 

"Thank you for bringing me home." She says after a moment. 

"Of course," he whispers. 

He remembers the last time he was here, in her bed. It seems so long ago now but he can recall it distinctly. It was the first time he declared his love for her, and he'd done so for the rest of the night into her skin. It was something he hadn't said since. 

"Last time we were here, you told me you loved me." Felicity says quietly. 

He looks down at her, startled, wondering if he had thought out long for a moment. 

"And I didn't say it back." She recalls softly. "I wanted to but...I was scared. I was so scared. Sometimes the thought of how much I love you scares me and I think I might just get lost in it. I've never felt this way before." 

"Yeah?" Oliver asks quietly. He can feel Felicity starting to drift off to sleep and he secretly—selfishly—wants to know everything about her in this moment. The thought of having all those cards, the ones she usually holds so close to her chest, on the table is just too tempting. 

"Yeah," she says sleepily, "it used to scare me so much I thought I might just run away from it all." 

Oliver presses his chin against the crown of her head, his hold on her getting subconsciously tighter. "And now?" 

"Now?" She yawns, "I don't want to run away anymore," she snuggles closer to his side, her hand finding its place on his chest, "now all I want...is to be with you." 

Felicity says the last part so quietly he thinks maybe he made it up. But soon after her soft breaths let him now she's officially asleep and he can't ask her anymore questions. Oliver knows he should leave now, call a cab and head back to his place. He has work tomorrow, he should get some sleep. 

But having Felicity here in his arms, being with her in her bed, coming all this way after everything...he decides to give himself a moment. He pulls her closer to his body and she sighs softly in her sleep. 

* * *

When Felicity wakes up the next morning there's a small pounding behind her eyelids. It's not a hangover per say but she's relieved it's Saturday and she don't have to go to work. She looks down and frowns at her attire, she should have definitely changed into something more comfortable last night. Her blouse is beyond wrinkled and she needs to get out of her skirt immediately. 

When she turns over, something on her bedside table catches her attention. She moves over to it and picks up the folded piece of paper that rests there. 

_You might need these. And I left something else for you in the kitchen._

The note is in Oliver's handwriting and upon opening it two small aspirins fall into her hand. She takes them gratefully and washes them down with water from her bathroom sink. After changing into sweats, Felicity pads over to her kitchen to find fresh coffee brewing in the machine. Her heart swells at the sight and she takes out her phone to sent Oliver a quick text. 

_Thank you for the coffee, you're a lifesaver._

She knows he's at the gym so she's not expecting a reply soon. She pulls out her favorite mug and pours herself a generous amount of coffee in it. Bring it up to her nose, Felicity inhales the wonderful scent before taking a sip and humming in appreciation. 

She pulls out her tablet and sits at the kitchen table, checking her email while enjoying her coffee. She's five messages in when her phone chimes with Oliver's response. 

_Anytime. But I don't think you're at Thea's alcohol tolerance level yet, I would avoid trying to keep up with her in the future._

She snorts at the message before typing one back. _Duly noted. She can really handle her liquor, one moment we're joking about the time I taught her to parallel park and the next moment is a blur._

After she sends the text then frowns. Speaking of blurs...Felicity can't quite remember everything from last night. She has a vague memory of Oliver picking her up from Thea's place. And she remembers bits and pieces from the car ride home, she thinks she probably fell asleep in the car. But after that? It's difficult to tell, she's drawing a blank. 

Biting her lip, she shoots him another text. 

_By the way, I didn't say anything embarrassing last night did I? Or give you way too much information about something I definitely shouldn't have?_

His reply doesn't come in right away and Felicity waits with batted breath. She attempts to go back to checking her email but she keeps casting her eyes to her phone, awaiting Oliver's text back. Finally, it arrives. 

_Not really. You thought I looked too big in your car but other than that you were an ideal drunk._

She sighs in relief. 

_Good to know. Hope you have a great day at work._

* * *

It's been days since Oliver took Felicity home from Thea's apartment. They've been on a date and had a couple of lunches together since then. And he can't stop thinking about the things she said that night. He knows she wouldn't have told him so much had she been completely sober, but how much less true does that make the things she said? 

He was thinking about that the other day when she stopped by his office to take him out for lunch. She had caught him staring and had automatically brought her hand up to her mouth. 

"What is it? Do I have spinach in my teeth?" 

He was quick to reassured her that wasn't the case before switching the topic of conversation. But still Oliver hadn't stopped thinking about it. 

"Oliver?" 

He looks up to find Felicity standing in the doorway of his office. 

"Hey," he smiles, "is it lunchtime already?" 

"You weren't answering your phone." 

He digs it out of his pocket. "Oh, right. I turned it off because Bertinelli sent a guy over with a power point, you know he wanted some visuals to go along with the numbers he's always talking about." He gets up, removing his jacket from the back of his chair. "And I don't know, but 

I think it's working. Ready to...?" 

He stops in his tracks when he finally gets a good look at Felicity. Her eyes are slightly red behind her glasses and she's chewing on her bottom lip, one hand is clutching the strap of her purse tightly and the other is nervously playing with her arrow necklace. 

"Hey," he moves forward, placing his hands on her shoulders. "What's the matter? What is it?" 

She blinks rapidly, her hands moving in front of her as she speaks. "Shado couldn't get ahold of you so she called me to get to you but then I couldn't get a hold of you...but this is generally something you want to hear in person I suppose—" 

The words tumble out of her all at once and Oliver squeezes her shoulder in reassure. "Hey, hey, slow down. Just tell me what's going on. Shado called?" 

Felicity takes a deep breath, her hand coming to wrap around his wrist. "Slade's gone. Shado called us to tell us he died yesterday." 

* * *

That weekend Oliver and Felicity find themselves on a plane headed to Boston. They meet up with Tommy, who flew in for the service, at the lobby of their hotel. It's a sober occasion, all murmured hellos and quiet condolences. 

"Hi Felicity," Tommy greets, hugging her, "it's good too see you." 

"It's good to see you too Tommy." She returns the hug tightly. "I wish it was under different circumstances." 

He pulls back, nodding at her words. He and Oliver exchange a hug. 

"When do you go back?" She asks. 

"Tomorrow night after the service. What about you?" 

"We flight out the morning after." 

Tommy nods at that, then leads them to the reception desk. "We should check in." 

Felicity rubs Oliver's back gently as he rattles off his reservation information to the lady at the front desk. She had been doing that the entire way here, giving him small reassuring touches. She had held him in his office after she had told him the news, had held his hand once they boarded the plane, and patted his knee soothingly in the taxi ride over. Her hands never left him for too long, innocent little touches, and it helped keep him grounded. He felt so numb, so cold, and he worried if she stopped touching him he would fall to the floor or float out of grasp. His body craved her touch to remind him of the here and now, to keep him present. And somehow she seemed to know as much, it was as if she could sense when he was about to come undone and then suddenly Felicity would be there. 

Oliver also knows that the touches have not gone unnoticed by Tommy, but he can't think about that right now. 

"Here you go sir, enjoy your stay." 

"Thank you," he replies to the friendly desk attendant. 

Felicity lets her fingers slide down his arm and gives his hand a small squeeze before moving to reach for her suitcase. 

"I thought maybe we could grab a drink, toast to Slade." Tommy suggests as they walk over to the elevator banks. 

"I don't know, man. We had a long flight, we might just rest first." 

"Oh. Well, I got us three rooms..." Tommy says, emphasizing the number and looking unsure as they wait for the elevator. 

Felicity looks over at Oliver, he's looking at her in question. She speaks up first. "That's fine." She tells Tommy as she reaches for one of the key cards in his open hand. "I'll probably take a nap anyways. You know, with jet lag and everything." 

"Are you sure?" Oliver asks. 

She nods, forcing a small smile in place. "Yeah. You guys go, be safe." 

Oliver moves to give her a kiss on the cheek and allows himself to linger there a moment longer. 

When he pulls back, her expression is soft and she rubs his arm in assurance. He can feel Tommy, behind him, eyeing them. He elects to ignore it for now. The elevator dings and Felicity steps in, giving them a small wave. "I'll see you later." She tells them and the elevator doors close. 

"Ready to go?" Tommy turns to him. 

Oliver nods. "Yeah, I could use a drink." 

* * *

Tommy and Oliver go to a small pub. The place is familiar, a place they used to frequent in their early college years. Memories of passing out on the bar and being kicked out assault them when they walk in. The place is under new management so it looks different from what they remember. But some things haven't changed. Like the mark on the wall by the jukebox where they almost started a fire. Or the graffiti they wrote on the door of the women's restroom. 

_Tommy's home ladies_ , it reads. They snort when they see it, remembering the drunken debate that preceded it. 

With a pitcher of beer in hand Oliver takes a generous swig. 

"I still can't believe it." Tommy says, staring down at the table. "When Shado called me, all the blood rushed to my head. It was like I couldn't even understand what she was saying." 

Oliver nods in agreement. Had Felicity not been there to hold his shaking hands and wrap her arms around him, he's not exactly sure what would have happened. 

"When's the last time you spoke to him?" 

Tommy doesn't even have to think about the answer. "A couple weeks ago, believe it or not. He told me he and Shado were coming to China to visit her family and tell them the news." 

Oliver shakes his head, looking down at the beer inside his glass. "I can't image how Shado's holding up." 

"I think she's just trying to make it day by day at this point but you know her, she's tough as nails." 

Oliver nods in agreement, a smile almost touches his features. "She is. She's a very strong woman." 

Tommy hums in agreement around his cup. "Speaking about strong women, I know this might not be the best time but..." 

"You want to know what's going on between Felicity and me?" 

"Yeah." Tommy nods. "It's definitely different between the two of you since the last time I saw you. Almost like when we were back in college but...different." 

"Well you're not the only one wondering," he mumbles. 

His friend tilts his head in question. "What do you mean by that?" 

"I'm not sure. We went out on a date...quite a few of them actually, it's become a thing for us." 

"So you guys are dating." Tommy says simply. 

"Not exactly..." 

"And what does that mean?" 

Oliver takes another swig of his beer. "It means we're trying to work past everything that's happened. We're not promising anything; we're just giving this a shot." 

"Ah," Tommy nods into his glass. "Did you think about what we talked about before I left?" 

"Yeah. I told Felicity about it." 

Tommy puts his drink down, his eyebrows shooting up his forehead. 

Oliver eyes him "What?" 

"Nothing." Tommy smiles, tipping his cap, "I'm just impressed with how much progress you've made." 

Oliver snorts, rolling his eyes. 

"Next thing I know, you're gonna tell me you bought a car." Oliver looks up from his drink and Tommy's eyes light up at his guilty expression. "You're shitting me." 

"It was a birthday present to myself." He shrugs, trying not to make a big deal out of it. 

The shit eating grin on his friend's face tells him it is in fact a big deal. "Well, damn man." Tommy laughs. 

"What?" 

"Slade would have been proud at how far you've come." 

Oliver nods once, their friend's presence is strong in the pub, he feels it. He holds up his almost empty glass. "To Slade." 

Tommy nods, bringing up his own glass in return. "To Slade, gone but never forgotten." They drink to that. And when they're done they order another round, and talk more about their friend. They exchange stories from the past—some they've heard and recited a thousand times, others they've only just remembered about. And finally when they've gone through their second round, they stop. They pay their bill and take a cab back the hotel. Besides, their not in college anymore. 

Once they reach the hotel and take the elevator up to their floor, they part ways. Tommy goes into his room after saying goodnight. Oliver moves over to his door and searches his pockets for his room key. At that moment, Felicity walks out of her room with a robe on and holding a small bucket. 

"Oh, hi." She says when she spots him. 

"Hey," he smiles. Her hair is wet around her face and she's barefoot. "What's that for?" He motions to the bucket in her hands. 

Felicity looks down at it. "I was just going to get some ice." Shaking her head, she leans against the doorway. "How was it?" 

He sighs, giving up on looking in his pockets to fully turn to her. "It was sad, but nice. We threw back a few and told a lot of stories about Slade." 

She nods. "That's good. I'm glad you guys were able to have that." 

"You could have come with us you know." 

Felicity shakes her head. "No, that was just for you guys. You two needed that. You needed to be with your best friend." 

"You're my best friend." He tells her. 

She seems taken aback by the sentiment but a gentle smile slowly curves her lips. "Do you...want to come in?" She tilts her head to her room. "I was about to put on a movie." 

"Which one?" 

" _Goodwill Hunting_ ," she shrugs, "I figured, when in Boston..." 

He smiles. "Yeah, I'd like that." 

She leads him into her room, and they nestle into her bed. Pulling out her tablet, she puts on the movie. Oliver's eyes are closed before the opening credits stop playing. And right before everything fades away, he feels Felicity's lips against his temple whispering goodnight. 

* * *

The next morning, Oliver is gone before Felicity wakes up. She tries not to think too much about it and starts getting ready for the memorial service. She dresses in a simple black dress and grabs her coat, going downstairs to meet up with Tommy and Oliver. They're both in suits when she reaches the lobby. The three of them walk outside together and get into the town car awaiting them. 

When they reach their location, a grand house that belongs to Slade's family, they step out of the car. Felicity refrains from holding onto Oliver's arm as they make their way across the great lawn. She doesn't want to force him into any intimacy he's not prepared for, apart from her small reassuring touches to remind him she's there for him. But once they reach the steps, Oliver places his hand on the small of her back and leaves it there, guiding her into the house, so she takes it as a good sign. 

The house is packed with mourners. People from all different periods of Slade's life, and Shado's, litter the living room, the hallways, and even the staircase. They're greeted by old college friends and acquaintances immediately upon arrival. And after a little bit of small talk here and there, everyone is asked to find their seats in the living room. 

The room is spacious with flowers adorning every surface and a portrait of Slade sits front and center next to a podium. Tommy, Felicity, and Oliver take their seats and soon the memorial starts. 

* * *

"Anyone who met Slade or saw him in pictures knows he was built like a military man." Tommy continues from his place behind the podium. "Seriously, he looked like the guys in _Rambo_ movies that beat up Rambo." That earns a chuckle from the crowd. 

After the pastor spoke he had turned it over to Shado. She stood up there and talk about her husband with such clarity and sadness that it broke Felicity's heart. Shado then opened up the floor to anyone else who wished to say a few words. 

"He was one hell of a guy, loved by so many, and he will be sorely missed." Tommy steps away from the podium and Felicity pats his hand as he moves by her to get to his seat. 

"I think I'll go up and say something." Oliver whispers to her. She nods, giving his hand a small squeeze of encouragement. 

He gets up and makes his way to the podium. "Um, hello." He says and clears his throat. "I've known Slade for a while now." Oliver begins then falters. His eyes scan the crowd and when they land on her she gives him a small nod. He continues, "See, he and I were roommates in college, we met during our freshman year. And he was the friendliest guy you've ever met, yes he looked intimidating, but he was friendly." Oliver looks down a for a moment before speaking up again. "Due to his upbringing he moved around a lot. He never stayed in one place too long. He called himself a wanderer, an explorer at heart. We went on a lot of adventures together, he and I. Slade just had a way of making everything exciting and memorable. And he worried that he would never actually be able to call anywhere home because he never really had a permanent one growing up. But all that exterior toughness and those wandering tendencies were no match for when he came across Shado." 

He looks down at Shado and Felicity sees her in the front row, cradling her stomach and giving him a small smile. 

"And when Slade and Shado got together, he stopped wandering. He finally found a place to call home. He found it in her. And he told me his next adventure, the one that he was most excited for, would be his life with Shado." 

Felicity watches the brunette put a tissue up her eye as her mother squeezes her knee. 

"You know he came into my room one time, right after I had broken up with a girl, and sat me down. And very fatherly he told me, in his really deep accent, he said, 'Oliver, right now you're lost. You don't know exactly what it is you want. I would know, I was lost for a very long time. But what you should know is that the second you're finally ready to be found, you will be.' He told me that the second he found Shado, he found himself." Oliver smiles down at Shado then and Felicity feels tears well up in her own eyes. Tommy offers her his handkerchief and she's accepts it gratefully. 

"I know Slade was taken from us much too soon, but Shado never doubt for a moment his love for you. You helped him find himself and he will always love you for that. I'm going to miss Slade but I feel better knowing he left this earth having finally found himself and a home to call his own." 

Oliver steps away from the podium and Shado stands up to hug him. They embrace for a moment before he makes his way back to his seat. Felicity still has tears rolling silently down her cheek by the time he takes his seat next to her. She wipes them hastily and for the first time in this entire trip, Oliver offers her his hand. 

* * *

When the service concludes, people huddle into the kitchen and dinning room, speaking in hushed tones to one another. 

Felicity breaks away from the boys, telling them she has to go talk to Shado. She finds the woman, sitting crossed legged on one of the grand couches, a plate of untouched food balanced on her lap. 

"Shado." 

She looks up, her smooth face shifting into a small smile. "Felicity, I'm glad you were able to make it." 

Felicity takes a seat next to her, twisting her body to be able to hug her. "Of course, I wouldn't miss it. How...how are you holding up? I'm sorry, I know you must get that question a lot but..." 

"No, it's fine." Shado assures her. "I'm constantly checking in on myself as well. I'm not sure how to feel yet. Everyday is a little different, but I suppose he has something to with that." She looks down at her belly, rubbing it in circles. 

"A boy?" 

Shado nods. "Yes, Slade was thrilled. He spent weeks baby proofing everything—" her voice catches in her throat then and Felicity thinks she might start crying. But just as quickly 

Shado straightens herself and blinks rapidly a few times before turning back to Felicity. 

The blonde puts a hand over hers. 

"So how are you and Oliver?" 

The question catches her off guard, Felicity takes a moment to answer. "What do you mean?" 

"Well aren't you two together now?" 

She sighs, looking away for a moment. _It's complicated_ , while being an apt description doesn't quite cover it. "We're...trying." 

Shado nods. "I love you both, you know that. And I always saw what there was and what there could be between you two. Felicity, I saw the way you would look at him, like if he said the word you would go anywhere with him. You were so ready to love him. But Oliver was different. He couldn't see past the here and now. All the girls he 'dated' in college...?" She shakes her head, "They were all women he knew he would never have deep feelings for. He kept them around as a shield, to protect himself." 

"Against what?" 

"At first from getting hurt. But then later I think he did it to protect himself from you." 

Felicity's eyes widen. "You make me sound like a bomb." 

The brunette smiles, a real one, a feature that hasn't lit her face for the last few days, it's evident. "I think before he even knew how deeply he felt for you, he knew the power you had over him." 

Shado points with her chin ahead of her Felicity follows the movement. She finds Oliver, he's staring at her. When they make eye contact he nods and she gives him a small smile. He returns it then turns back to the group of men he is having a conversation with. 

"I've seen how he looks at you too. It's different than before, he's finally accepted his feelings but now he's holding himself back." 

Felicity pushes hair behind her ear, looking down at her lap. 

"Slade used to be the same way. I remember how nervous he was to ask me out." Shado's eyes seem distant, as if she's no longer in the room. 

Felicity squeezes her hand. 

Shado looks up at her, seeming to remember where she is. "The key, I think," she continues, "is to acknowledge their fear but then show them that they don't have to face it alone. Never alone..." 

"I'm sorry." Felicity whispers, scooting closer. 

Shado shakes her head. "This, having all these people here, helped a little. Oliver's words did too. They reminded me that Slade is always with me," she pats her stomach, "with us." 

Felicity moves to wrap an arm around her, and Shado accepts it. And as they sit there, curled up in that grand couch, Felicity lets her eyes dance around the room until they land on Oliver who is in the corner of the room by the bar. She decides to put Shado's advice into action as soon as possible. 

* * *

Since they've touched back home, Oliver has been keeping himself busy. Felicity, after much debate, had convinced him to take a day off work. And that had been hard, he ended up spending the whole day exercising in the loft's gym. And when he felt like he was going to get cabin fever for being holed up for so long, he went outside and ran until he couldn't breathe. He'd been throwing himself into work at The Gambit. John had given him a few knowing looks but apart from that no one had said anything. Felicity had stopped by for lunch a couple times but he hadn't been by QC to take her anywhere and he had to cancel their last date. Thea had texted him a few time since he got back but apart from letting her know he had landed safety, her messages had gone unanswered. 

Just as he's pulling on some sweats to go for a jog, there's a knock at his door. He answers it, surprised with who he finds when he swings it open. 

"Felicity..." 

"Hi," she smiles shyly at him, then holds up a small container of brownies in her hand, "I brought these. Don't worry, they're store bought." 

He looks down at the container then back up at her, still confused. "What...are you doing here?" 

"I thought maybe we could talk?" 

"Oh," he looks out into the hallway before refocusing on her. "I was actually about to go for a run..." 

Felicity frowns. "It's 10:45 at night." 

He doesn't have a good response to that. "It's just been something new I've been trying." 

She holds the container close to her chest as she tucks a piece of lose hair behind her ear. "I remember junior year, how you shut Tommy out after your grandma died." 

He remembers it too. His friend would come by his dorm, trying to get him to come out but Oliver steadfastly refused. It lasted for three days before he could see the way he was hurting Tommy by distancing himself. 

"I didn't want you to feel like you had to shut anyone else out. I just...I don't want you to be alone tonight." 

Something stirs inside him at her admission. And she's right, he can see that he had already started to shut people out. He thinks back to Thea's texts... 

"I hope that's okay." Felicity speaks up. 

He looks down at her, concern for him clear in her eyes, and he drops his arm. "Yeah, of course." 

She smiles then and gets up on her toes to place a kiss on his check before gliding past him into the room. Oliver closes the door behind her and watches as she walks over to the couch, depositing her coat and bag on the coffee table before sitting down on the floor. He walks over to sit across from here. 

"Did you even eat today?" She asks. 

Oliver opens his mouth to respond but then stops when nothing comes out. He can't remember the last meal he had... 

She sighs. "I knew I should have brought real food instead." 

"No, this is fine." He insists, snatching the box of brownies off the table and cocking his head to read the label. "Dinah's Baked Goods...?" 

"Yeah, it was the first thing I found at the store. I don't even know if they're good." 

"Well let's find out." Oliver peels the lid off and takes one small brownie, popping it into his mouth. He chews slowly, the chocolate extreme chewy in his mouth. 

Felicity raises a brow at his expression. "Any good?" 

He swallows hard, forcing the gooey mess down. "I think we would have been better off if you would have just cooked." 

"Hey!" Felicity swats him on the arm and takes a brownie into her mouth. 

A couple bites in and she makes a face of disdain. "Yeah...maybe you were right." 

He laughs at her, watching as she is determined to finish the treat. 

"Felicity, you can spit it out." 

"No," she shakes her head, her eyes narrowed in concentration. "I can do it." 

She scrunches her face at the strange texture and Oliver chuckles as she shakes her head once she's swallowed it all. 

"Ok so what was a bust." She frowns. 

Oliver smirks. "But entertaining to watch." 

She rolls her eyes at him and digs through her purse before pulling out a small container of ice cream. "But at least we always have this." 

"What's that?" 

"Mint chocolate chip of course." Felicity tosses it to him. "I'll get the spoons." She gets up from the floor, heading to the kitchen. Moments later Oliver can hear her open his drawers and rummage through the silverware. 

"Did you only come packed with treats?" He calls out, wondering how much junk food her purse could hold. 

He can practically hear her roll her eyes before she replies. "With you overworking yourself I'm sure it won't hurt. Besides, you can go back to your more normal eating habits tomorrow." She appears in front of him, hands him a spoon, then sinks down on the floor. "And I'm using the word normal very lightly." 

"Are you saying my eating habits are abnormal?" He questions, undoing the lid. 

Felicity sits up on her knees. "Only if you consider eating three whole chickens normal." She leans over him and dips her spoon into the ice cream. 

"I had to up my protein intake, you know that." 

She shrugs, lifting the spoon up to her mouth. "Well considering how much you've been overworking yourself lately, you might want to consider doing that again." 

"What makes you think I've been overworking myself?" 

"Because I know you. And Dig's worried." 

Oliver cocks his head at that. "Really? He didn't say anything." 

"Doesn't mean he doesn't worry," Felicity says, rolling back on her knees, "and so do I." 

He looks up at her. 

"Since we've come back, you've been...distant. I know that what happened with Slade hit you really hard and you're still coming to terms with that, you're still hurting. I get that, I do. And I also know that you don't like to show when you're in pain, you keep it to yourself." She reaches over and takes his hand, the one not gripping the ice cream tightly. "But I need you to know that you don't have to. You don't need to hurt by yourself and you don't need to hide it, not from me." Her head tilts slightly, the way it did the very first night he met her. "I'm here for you Oliver, whatever it is, whatever you need, I'm here." 

Oliver feels something constrict in his chest, something he had been holding onto so tightly, clenching, he finally feels it loosening up. And at Felicity's words he feels some unnamed emotion rush inside him. 

She sees this too, moving closer to wrap her arms around him. And he holds her tight, absorbing her strength and letting some of the chips in his armor fall away in the process. She rubs his back softly, and breaths into his neck, calming him. 

When he pulls back, he feels a little better, a little lighter. 

She gives him a soft smile. "We can finish this in bed." He cocks an eyebrow at her and she shakes her head quickly, blushing. "I mean the conversation and the ice cream," she holds up his hand in evidence, "not anything else." 

He pulls her up. "I like that idea." 

They walk over to the bedroom and when he switches on the lights the room suddenly feels too warm, too small. It's no secret Felicity has never been here, not like this. And she certainly had never been in his bed as she is now, pulling back the covers to settle in. But Oliver tries not to think about that too much as he takes his spot next to her and his arms come around automatically to hold her. She sits back against his chest, the ice cream balanced on her lap. 

Oliver digs his spoon into it and takes a bite. It's silent for a moment. 

"I had never heard that story before," Felicity says suddenly and he looks down at her, "the one you told about what Slade said to you, about being found when you were ready, I'd never heard it before." 

Oliver nods quietly, the spoon still in his mouth. "Yeah, it was something he only said once, ages ago it feels like. But I don't know, I guess it stayed with me." 

"It's beautiful," she says, "as was your speech, I know Shado really appreciated it." 

He scratches his chin against the top of her head, watching as her hair catches on his stubble. "I can't imagine what she's going through..." 

Felicity hums her agreement softly and they're quiet once more for another moment. 

"Tell me something." 

"Tell you what?" She asks. 

"I don't know. Just tell me something I didn't know already." 

She thinks for a moment, he can feel her thinking, then she says, "Sometimes I think about the fact that I was never supposed to meet you." 

He furrows his brows at that and she shakes her head against his chest. 

"Sorry that sounded really dark and ominous. What I meant was, I was never supposed to be at that party where we met." 

"What do you mean?" 

She holds the ice cream up to him and he scoops some out for himself while she answers. "I was fresh off my break up with Cooper. I had been mopping for days. And Sara just burst into my dorm, pulled me out of bed and said, 'Smoak, throw on something sexy, we're going to a party.'" 

"And your idea of sexy was Tinker Bell?" 

"Hey! I'll have you know Tinker Bell is drawn very sexually for a cartoon... But yeah. I was dragging my feet the whole way over and when we got there Sara ditched me, running off to do shots or a keg stand or something, and I stood there in a room full of strangers feeling miserable. I knew I was going to have an awful time and... then suddenly there you were and things weren't so awful anymore. They were great. I mean I had warm beer running down my dress but things were great. And I think sometimes about the dumb luck. I mean out of all the girls you could have spilled your drink on, it was me." She turns to look at him over her shoulder. 

"I'm pretty lucky." 

And as he's looking down at her, this woman who had made him whole, deconstructed him, and helped put him back together all in one calendar year, he can't do anything but lean down at capture her lips with his. 

She lets out a little sound of surprise but soon she's kissing him too, twisting in his grasp and setting the ice cream down on the bedside table to hold his face between her hands. His arms come around to press her closer. She breaks away with a little gasp. 

"Um, I don't think...now is the best time..." She's biting her lip; her pupils are blown wide. 

He closes his eyes, nodding. 

Felicity holds his face tighter in her hands, forcing him to open his eyes. "You're one of the strongest people I've ever known, but there's nothing wrong with letting yourself grieve. That's not weakness." 

Oliver nods and she places another small kiss to his lips. His grip on her tightens. "Stay with me?" He mumbles against her chin as she pulls back. 

She looks down at him, her blue eyes shinning in the dim light. Her smile is gentle when she says, "Okay." 

* * *

There're sounds coming from his kitchen when he wakes up. Pots clinging together, the trash dispenser, water running. 

He blinks his eyes groggily against the morning light peeking through the curtains in his room. He has a distinct memory of small warm arms holding him as he fell asleep, a presence that is now absent. 

Oliver lifts his head off the pillow, he fell asleep on his stomach and he strains his neck to see the clock on the nightstand. 

Soft footsteps make their way down the hall and into his room. 

"You're up." Felicity says and he turns his head to watch as she enters the room. Her hair is still messy from sleep and she's holding a pan in one hand, a fork in the other. 

"What time is it?" He asks, as she comes to his side of the bed. The room is basked in warm morning light and it casts a glow on her face when she stops to stand in front of him. 

"A little past twelve. I let you sleep in." 

"Oh..." He hadn't thought he was tired enough to sleep through morning but he hadn't had a decent night sleep since they arrived from Boston. Not until last night that is. "What's that?" 

She looks down at the pan in her hand. "Oh!" She smiles then and kneels to be level with his head. Sticking the fork into the pan, Felicity breaks off a little piece of what he can now see is an omelette, and brings it to his mouth. "I'm making breakfast. Tell me what you think." 

Oliver takes the piece of egg between his lips and chews it thoughtfully, watching as Felicity eyes him excitedly, awaiting his critique. 

"Felicity Smoak," He says as she watches him swallow it and bites her lip in anticipation. 

"You've failed this omelette." 

Her face falls and she looks down at the food in question. "Really?" She frowns, "This is my fifth try." 

He tilts his head. "How many eggs have you gone through exactly?" 

She sighs. "Not enough apparently." 

He smiles at her then shakes his head. "Don't worry, I'll whip something up." He tells her, starting to get out of bed. 

"Oh no you don't." She says, putting a hand on his shoulder and pushing him back into bed. 

"There's still one thing I can make," she smiles victorious, "cereal!" 

He can't help but smile at her excitement. "Felicity, I don't have any cereal." 

She frowns again, appearing disappointed in him as her arms fall to her side. "Who doesn't have cereal?" 

"Someone who can make omelettes without burning them." He quips. 

She shoots him a stink eye at that, he chuckles. 

"It's okay, I'm not particularly hungry at the moment," he moves to his side, opening up some room on the bed, and holds his arms out to her. "C'mere." 

Felicity leaves the fork and the pan with the burnt omelette on the floor and crawls onto the bed with him, curling up into his embrace. 

"Thank you for coming over last night," he whispers against her hair, staring up at the ceiling, "you were right, I was starting to shut people out and I needed someone to pull me back. Thank you for being the one to do it." 

Oliver feels her hands against his chest, smoothing over his t-shirt. She moves back to look up at him and brings a hand up to rest against his cheek, her fingers combing through the stubble there. "You always do it for me. The least I could do is return the favor." Felicity smiles softly. 

He leans his head forward, his lips searching for hers. She happily complies, moving her body up to press her mouth against his. 

His arms come around her and become tight, pressing her flush against him. A little moan escapes her as she pushes down on him, her tongue licking the seam of his lips. Oliver growls, deep in his chest, rolling them partially so he's flat on his back and she lands on top of him. Their lips never part. Felicity runs a hand down his chest, the other falling next to his head on the pillow to keep herself up. He pulls her closer, pressing a hand against her back so there's no space between their bodies. His hand comes up to her hair, tangling in it as his tongue flicks her own. She grinds down on him, groaning against his lips. Oliver trails his hand down her back, over the curve of her ass and down to her thigh, hitching it up to his hip. She gasps. 

"Oliver..." 

He remembers then, listening to her breathy moan, about their no sex rule. She seems to remember at the same time since she slides down his body, careful to put some space between them. He rolls them back to their sides, his kisses becoming less hungry. They pant against each other, trying to reign in their need. He moves to her neck, placing small wet kisses as she runs her hand through the hair at the nape of his neck, it helps slow his racing heart. 

Oliver leaves one last soft kiss against Felicity's jaw before he pulls back. "You said something about breakfast?" 

She smiles at him, her lips swollen and puckered. "Yeah, that I can't make it." 

He grins down at her. "I'm sure we can figure something out." 

"You think?" She props her head against her hand. 

"Of course." Besides, that's what they were doing now: figuring it out. 

* * *

A week later Oliver is taking a chicken out of the oven. He's going to cook for them. He told her they were going to spare the fire department a visit for a night. And while that particular comment hadn't earned him any favor, she's here anyways. Sitting on his couch with her arm stretched out against the back of it, Felicity watches him move around the kitchen. He remembers watching Rasia make this very dish for dinner a few times and with her recipe in hand, he's fairly confident he can at least come close to replicating the meal. 

"So you finally agreed to Bertinelli's offer, that's exciting." Felicity comments from her spot on the couch. 

Oliver nods, dashing some more garlic salt on the chicken. "Yes, I am officially a sellout." 

She laughs. "I wouldn't go that far. But you're franchising, that's a big move." 

"Well I just agreed to open up a second location. That's it for now. You know, start small." 

"Still, it's a huge opportunity for you and The Gambit. I'm sure your dad is proud." 

He wipes his hand on a dishrag and drapes it over his shoulder. "I haven't told him yet, actually." 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah it's just, you know him, he's going to ask a million questions and I want to make sure I have the answers to all of them first." He shrugs. 

"Right..." 

But the tone in her voice is off and before Oliver can turn around and ask her about it, Felicity fires off another question. 

"So what do you tell your dad about me?" 

He stops in his tracks and turns to her slowly. "What do you mean?" 

"When he asks, what do you tell him about me, about us?" 

He shakes his head, "Felicity..." 

"Oliver I know you're holding back; you're not being completely honest with me about how you feel. And I know we said we were just going to take this thing one day at a time and see where it goes but... If you're not talking to your dad about it, and I know Tommy doesn't really know anything, and you're not talking to Dig about it, can you at least talk to me?" 

He opens his mouth to defend himself but nothing comes out. 

"Oliver please," she gets up from the couch and walks towards him, her hands clasped in front of her. "We're never going to _start_ getting past this if you won't open up to me." 

"What do you want me to say?" He throws his hands up, exasperated, the chicken forgotten. 

"Anything that isn't a carefully constructed sound bite to not make me feel bad." 

"You want me to make you feel bad?" 

She pushes her hair back impatiently. "I want you to stop burying your emotions! I'm sure there's lots you wanted to say to me before I came back. Well I'm here now, I can take it." 

She's pleading with him, begging really, and he just lets it out. "I was angry." He says finally, louder than he intended. And now that it's out, he can't stop it. "I was angry at you for telling me you loved me and I was angry at you for still being in that white dress getting ready to marry him after you said it. And I was so angry at you for leaving and not giving me a chance to tell you how angry I was at you!" His throat feels raw now, less from yelling and more from the emotion. 

She stands perfectly still, accepting it all, her eyes shining with unshed tears. 

His shoulders slump. "Felicity I'm—" 

"No," she shakes her head, "don't apologize. It's how you feel. I needed to hear that, I wanted to." 

"You left." He says quietly. "It was just so easy for you to leave..." 

"Oliver," she takes a small calculated step closer, "it wasn't easy for me to leave. That decision was a hard one to make but...I couldn't just go to you after everything and apologize, ask you to forgive me...I didn't feel like I deserved that much, I knew I didn't." She shakes her head, pressing the palms of her hands together. "I knew the only way I had a chance of making things right with you is if I made things right with myself first. I didn't like who I had become. The girl who so blindly tried to make everyone else happy but herself, who hurt so many people in a naive attempt to help them." She shakes her head. "That girl was a cheater and so unhappy...and she destroyed everything she came into contact with. And you deserve better. I knew I had to be better before I could even think of coming back." 

He sighs, then quietly says, "I just don't know how I'm suppose to trust that it won't happen again..." 

"Because you don't trust me." She says it as a statement, like she truly believes it and it breaks his heart. 

"That's not what I said." He makes a move towards her and puts his hands on her shoulders, she looks up at him, her chin jutting out protectively. 

"Oliver I told you, you don't have to worry about my feelings." 

"That's not what I'm doing." He assures her. "When I said I didn't trust it wouldn't happen again, I didn't just mean you." Her brows pull together, she doesn't understand. Oliver sighs, searching for the right words. "What I meant was...you didn't do it all by yourself. I had a part in it too. I take responsibility for what I did, I waited five years to tell you how I felt, I was with you while you were still with him...and I never told you not to marry him...I never actually said it." 

"Oliver...." She puts her hand on his cheek and he feels himself lean into it, giving himself over to it. He closes his eyes. "You never had to say that. I knew I shouldn't, and truthful I would have never been able to go through with it, even if you hadn't shown up." 

He opens his eyes then, staring at hers that are burning with conviction. 

"I waited too long to do a lot of things when it came to you, I just don't want to be too late again. I don't want to mess this up." 

"Oliver," she sighs, her eyes warming as she brings his forehead down to hers, "that's what you're worried about? You're not going to mess this up. After everything that we've been through, after everything that I've put you through, there's nothing you can do that's going to make me love you any less." 

Felicity gives him a small smile then. 

"You're kinda it for me." She tells him, scrunching her nose. 

He brings his hands down to her waist, pulling her closer, and her smile grows, matching the one that now lights his face. Smiling at her, he lowers his head, whispering as he inches closer to her lips, "Did we just survive our first fight as a couple?" 

Her eyes widen then and she pulls back, just enough to look at his face and keep him from kissing her. "A couple?" 

"You don't like the way it sounds?" He teases, all the tension from earlier seeming to vanish. 

She bounces lightly on her toes. "No, I love it. I just want to make sure you're sure. I don't mind waiting a little longer before we make anything official or—" 

"Felicity," he breathes, and she stops talking to look up at him, he smiles, "I'm sure about this. I'm sure about us." 

She leans into his chest further at hearing his words, her smile radiant. 

"Besides," he shrugs, "I'm tired of 'figuring it out' and 'it's complicated', might as well just slap a label on it already. I know you want to." 

"Oh really? And what makes you say that?" 

"Because you told me." 

She cocks an eyebrow at him. 

"Well, you said it in your sleep last week." He clarifies and at her look of mortification, he continues. "Yeah, you mumbled my name a couple times then frowned and shook your head, the little crease appearing between your eyebrows," his finger goes up to touch the exact place as he speaks, "and then you said 'boyfriend' and sighed happily and rolled over." 

She slaps her forehead then buries her face into his shoulder, he can't help but chuckle. 

"Note to self," she mutters into his shirt, "remember to cut off tongue before sleep." 

"C'mon," he smiles, pulling her hand, "the food's going to get cold." 

And as Felicity sits at the table, salivating over everything he places in front of her, and as they open up a bottle of wine, and as they laugh and joke, and as they kiss lazily on the couch after dinner, Oliver can't help but think he can get used to this because now everything finally feels right. 

* * *

"You wanted to see me Mr. Queen?" 

Robert Queen looks up from his desk and smiles at her. "Oh yes, Felicity please come in." 

She steps around the door and closes it behind her before walking over to his desk. Robert gestures at her to take a seat. 

"How does it feel now that you are officially done with the merger?" He asks casually. 

"I'm excited it's over." Felicity laughs nervously. "It was quite the task." 

"Well I knew you could handle it." 

"It wasn't just me, though. Curtis was invaluable, as was the rest of the Applied Science division. It really was a team effort." 

Robert nods. "I had a feeling you were going to say that. Which is why," he pulls out a folder from the drawer in his desk, "I took the liberty of interviewing some of your team and newly integrated staff." 

Felicity tugs on the hem of her skirt nervously, not sure where this is going. 

Robert takes his time flipping through the papers. "They all speak very highly of you, your colleagues and the former Unidac employees you helped transition to QC. They all talk about your leadership skills, your dedication, your ingenuity, your problem solving ability... Honestly I could go on and on, it's all in the file." He closes it then and places it on the desk in between them. 

Felicity honestly doesn't know what to say. She had no idea her team had been interviewed regarding her and much less that she had gotten such stellar reviews from them. Part of her just wants to get up and cry out of sheer happiness, run over to her department and hug each and every single one of them, but she has a feeling Mr. Queen isn't finished yet... 

"Thank you for telling me all this Mr. Queen but I'm not sure why you did." She says carefully. 

"Of course not. That was the board's reaction when I first told them as well, until I informed them of my decision." 

"Decision?" She asks, hesitantly. 

He pushes his chair away from the desk. "Yes." Robert stands up and rounds his desk, Felicity follows his every move with her eyes. "See, I've long suspected that running the special projects division wasn't enough for you. And after seeing how you've handle this merger and really taken your place as a leader with more grace than I could have ever hoped for...well a promotion seemed in order." 

"A promotion?" Her eyes, go wide, she can't be hearing this right... 

Robert Queen stops to stand in front of her, a smile on his face. "How would you like to be the Vice President of Applied Sciences." 

Felicity's jaw drops, her heart stops and starts up again. "Vice President?" Her voice sounds too high, even to her own ears. 

"Yes." 

A million thoughts race through her mind. "Are you-are you sure? I mean I'd be the youngest VP in the history of the company, and there must be so many qualified candidates that have been working here far longer that I..." 

Before she can get more ahead of herself Robert chuckles. "Felicity I'm sure as long as you are." 

She stands up then, smoothing her skirt over her legs. "Thank you so much." Suddenly she pauses, unsure. "I hope this decision wasn't affect by the fact that Oliver and I are dating..." 

Mr. Queen shakes his head. "That wasn't a factor in the least bit. This is all about your performance Felicity." He assures her, taking her hands in his own. "But I will say that since you started a relationship with my son, I've seen a shift in him. A good one. He's more open with us, with me, he seems less burdened all the time. You make him happy. And I know he does the same for you.” He lets go of her hands, placing his own in his pockets. “As a father that's all I care about. And I'm just glad you two finally saw what was obvious to all of us from the beginning." 

He smiles at her and she returns it. Felicity sticks out her hand for a handshake, trying to remember her professionalism. But Robert just eyes her hand for a moment before shaking his head and holding his arms out. She hugs him happily. 

"Thank you so much." 

"You deserve it." He nods. 

She pulls back then and ducks her head, ready to share the good news with her coworkers and thank them for their hand and all of this. When she reaches the door, Robert calls out to her. 

"Oh, and Felicity?" 

"Yes Mr. Queen?" 

He smiles. "Happy birthday." 

* * *

Caitlin claps her hands in delight. "Congratulations Felicity!" 

Felicity laughs as Caitlin throws her arms around her, pulling her into a hug. "Thanks Caitlin." 

The brunette pulls back, "We have to celebrate!" 

"Deal. There's a little place off Main Street that has the best margaritas. We should go tomorrow during happy hour." 

"Sounds like a plan." She smiles. "So are you doing anything special tonight?" 

Felicity smiles, arranging some papers on the work bench her and Caitlin are standing in front of. “We're going over Lyla and John's place. She's cooking a birthday dinner for me." 

"Oh, that sounds nice." 

"Mhm, and then Oliver's taking me somewhere afterwards. I don't know where yet, it's a surprise." 

Caitlin raises her eyebrows, intrigued. 

"Yup," Felicity nods, "he's been very tight lipped about it all week." 

"Huh, so you've been think about it a lot?" 

The blonde nods, "How'd you know?" 

"Makes sense. You have this special little smile whenever you think about Oliver and it's been full force for the past few days." 

She whips her head around. "I don't have a special Oliver smile." 

"Oh you so do, it's adorable really." 

Felicity opens her mouth, to protest the ridiculousness of having a smile reserved just for Oliver, when: 

"Am I interrupting?" 

She turns around, Oliver stands casually just outside the room, looking entirely too handsome in a motorcycle jacket and dark jeans. 

"Oliver," Caitlin smiles, clasping her hands together, "come right in. You're just in time." 

"Really?" He smiles, strolling into the room. "What am I in time for?" 

"Oh, Caitlin was just leaving." Felicity waves off as Oliver comes to a stop in front of her. 

Their eyes never leave each other as he wraps his arms around her waist. 

"Hi." He whispers before his lips come down for a kiss. 

She relishes in the feel of his soft lips and the gentle scratch of his stubble as she pushes herself up on the tips of her toes in order to press herself against him more fully. They pull back after a moment. "Hey." She returns his smile. 

"Don't worry, he has a special smile for you too." Caitlin comments. 

"Huh?" Oliver asks, confused. 

"Yup," she nods, "it spells ' _absolutely_ smitten.'" 

Felicity shakes her head; Oliver looks down at her. "What is she taking about?" 

"Nothing." Felicity says, looking over at her friend. 

Caitlin eyes them. "That's right, because I was just leaving. Your girlfriend is all yours." She nods to Oliver. She makes her way over to the door, calling over she shoulder, "See you tomorrow Felicity." 

Felicity shakes her head at the brunette before turning her attention back to Oliver. 

"What was that about?" He asks, his arms coming a little tighter around her. 

"No idea." She smiles up at him to give him another kiss. Having Oliver in her arms now, everything else seems sort of trivial. Felicity is amazed that after a month of being officially a couple, this feeling still hasn't gone away. 

"So I have some exciting news." She says when they pull away. 

"And what's that?" 

"Your dad promoted me this morning to VP." 

He grins at her, "Felicity that's amazing. I'm so proud of you." 

"Thanks." She smiles and he gives her another kiss. "But you already knew that didn't you?" 

He gives her a half shrug. "Just another perk of being the boss's son." 

At his grin she just rolls her eyes. 

"You should take the rest of the day off so we can celebrate." 

"Oliver!" She laughs, "I'm not trying to get fired from the position I just got." 

Now it's his turn to roll his eyes. "Fine. How about a long lunch then? Rasia is making something special. My mom's even forcing my dad out of the office for it." 

"That I can do." 

"Good." He gives her another kiss. "I'll be downstairs waiting." 

She nods at him and then they untangle themselves from each other, she gives his hand a small squeeze before he goes. Felicity then starts picking up the loose papers and organizing the random gadgets lying around. 

A low whistle sounds from behind her. "Nice new digs Smoak." 

She turns around, surprised by who she finds standing by the door. "Cisco, what brings you by QC?" 

"I came to take Caitlin to lunch. Ronnie's tied up so he asked me to sub for him." 

"Oh...well Caitlin works a couple floors down." She points at the floor with her finger. 

"Yeah I know. I actually came up to see you." 

"Oh." _Well that's surprising..._ "How have you been?" 

"Good. I've been busy at work. And I started seeing someone." 

"That's so great." Felicity smiles, taking a step forward, "Gosh it feels like it's been so long. I haven't seen you since..." 

"The wedding?" He offers easily. 

She nods, stopping in her tracks. Yes, the wedding. The wedding in which he was the best man and she was one breath away from climbing out the window. _Oh right, that wedding..._

Cisco looks down for a moment and Felicity can feel the elephant in the room, she decides to bite the bullet. 

"How's Ray?" 

Cisco looks up at her. "Good. Or I can only assume he's doing good since he officially settled into Gotham a couple months ago." 

"Right." She nods, having almost forgotten about that. Gotham, that's where they would have moved to after the honeymoon. But she had never been on board with that plan and honestly she would have never made it on the plane. "Well that's good. Good for him." 

"Yeah, Anna moved up there with him." 

Felicity pauses at hearing that. "Oh..." She's taken aback, but it's not unwelcome information, "well that's nice to hear." It helps ease some of her guilt knowing that Ray is moving on as well. 

"Yeah." Cisco says, seeming distracted by some tech on the bench closest to him, "They're only going to be up there for a couple years though. Anna is going back to Haiti to do Doctors Without Borders and Ray's joining her." 

" _He is?_ " 

He looks up at her tone. "Yup, he struck a deal with Wayne Enterprises, he gives them two years dedication on his smart watches and they allow him to do some philanthropy over in Haiti." 

"Wow." Felicity feels at a loss for words. "Well that is just...that's..." 

"Surprising?" 

She nods at Cisco. "Yeah..." That's a pretty good descriptor, surprising. 

He smirks. "I know. I was shocked when I heard too." 

Felicity shakes her head. "I can't even imagine Ray leaving the country, much less going to Haiti." 

"Well he's just been full of surprises since he got back together with Anna." 

She and Ray had never spoken about traveling before. When the topic of their honeymoon came up, it was a difficult area to see eye to eye on. Felicity wanted to travel, have an adventure. Ray was adamant about staying close to home. Finally, they had settled on going to Hawaii so they wouldn't have to leave the country. It was the closest they had ever come to a real argument. 

"But what about you?" Cisco asks. "What's going on with you?" 

"Oh well, work is great," she smiles, "really great." 

He nods. "That's good. And aside from that?" 

"Aside from that..." Before Felicity can finish her thought, her phone rings on her desk. She turns to look at it. _It's almost as if he knew..._

Cisco sees the caller ID. "Ah," he nods, the chips falling into place in his head. 

Felicity grabs her phone and turns back around to him. "Sorry, I have to take this." 

"No worries. I gotta go grab Caitlin anyways." He smiles, walking backwards towards the door. "It was nice seeing you though." 

"Yeah it was, we should do lunch sometime." She had never been terribly close to Cisco but they work in the same field and have mutual friends, getting to know him better would be nice. 

He flashes her a smile, moving his long hair out of his face. "Yeah, we should." 

And as he turns around, Felicity calls out to him. "Cisco?" 

He pauses at the door. "Yes?" 

"Ray, is he... Is he happy?" Her voice sounds small and hopeful, her hands clasp together tightly. 

Cisco takes a moment to think about it before he answers. "Yeah." He says finally. "I think he is." 

She feels like she did back in Nevada on top of that hill, as if a weight has been lifted off her. 

"Good. I'm glad to hear it." 

He nods once. "Goodbye Felicity." 

"Bye." She waves at him as he leaves. 

Taking a deep breath, Felicity takes a moment to compose herself before she answers her phone. "Hey Oliver, sorry for the wait. I'm on my way down now." 

"And I thought I was the one who's habitually late." Comes his voice from the other end. 

"Oh, please," she rolls her eyes, grabbing her purse and heading out the door. "Try, chronically late." 

He laughs. And after hearing Ray is across the country with the woman he was always meant to be with, as Felicity is on her way to the man she's always loved, she can't help but to think that maybe she doesn't destroy everything she touches. 

* * *

"Oh, thank you Rasia. You've really out done yourself." 

The old Russian woman smiles as she clears the plates. "Of course, miss Felicity. And happy birthday." 

"Thank you." Felicity smiles, patting her on the hand. 

Rasia nods before taking the dishes into the kitchen. 

Felicity blows out a long breath and looks over at the clock. "I really should be getting back to work..." 

"Nice try, Felicity." Moira says from across the table. "But don't think you're going anywhere before we have a toast to celebrate. So don't try to sneak off anywhere just yet." 

"That won't be a problem. I'm not sure I could move even if I wanted to." Felicity worries, adjusts her dress. 

"Well you got to make room for tonight. John tells me Lyla's been cooking up a storm all day." Oliver says from his seat next to her. 

She turns to him. "More food? Well at least if today kills me, I'll die happy." 

He snorts at her dramatics. 

"Please tell me your present doesn't involve food. I don't think I could survive if it did." 

Oliver simply presses his lips together tightly. 

"Good luck getting anything out of him. It's pointless." Thea chimes in. 

Felicity turns to her. "Do you know anything about it?" 

Thea blows a raspberry. "No. I—for some unknown reason—was not consulted in the surprise planning. I've been bugging Ollie about it for days, but he won't give anything up." 

Felicity slumps in her chair. 

"She's right, so why don't the both of you stop trying." Oliver suggests, scooting his chair forward. 

"Agreed." Moira says, taking the champagne bottle from the ice bucking it's been cooling in during lunch. Robert reappears then. "Ah, perfect timing." His wife nods at him as she hands him the bottle to open. 

Everyone holds out their flutes as Robert Queen pours champagne into each of them. 

"A toast then," Moira announces, lifting her flute. 

Everyone at the table turns toward her. 

"To Felicity, happy birthday and to many more." 

"Cheers!" Thea says and everyone clicks their glasses and drinks the champagne. 

"Thank you guys, really. This was a beautiful lunch." Felicity says. 

Moira smiles at her, the one that allows Felicity to see the young woman Moira once was. 

"Oh of course honey. I'm just delighted we were able to get you out of the office." 

Oliver chuckles. "It took a little convincing." 

"Hey!" Felicity turns to him, "I'm not that bad." 

"Oh please." Thea snorts into her glass. "You're both terrible. If you guys weren't already practically married to each other, you'd be married to your jobs." 

Oliver's eyes narrow at his sister. "Speedy..." 

"What?" She shrugs. "You have have been dating for, what, a month officially? Unofficially it's been almost 6 years. Why not slap a ring on it and make it official already?" 

Felicity can feel her cheeks burn and her eyes get wide, she doesn't know what to say to that. 

Mr. Queen disguises his chuckle with a cough. "Alright honey...why don't you leave them alone about it now?" 

Thea slumps in her chair. "I just want to plan a wedding, I barely got to last time." 

"What, running a successful club isn't enough for you?" Oliver quips, seeming to have regained his composure. 

"That's only at night. Makes me feel like a vampire, I need something to do when the sun is out." She raises her hands above her head dramatically. 

Felicity laughs, it's times like these she's reminded how young Thea is. She reaches over to pat her knee. "I'm sure we can find something to keep you occupied," at the younger girl's hopeful look, she quickly elaborates, "that doesn't involve forcing yourself into the wedding industry." 

"Felicity," Moira calls out. 

"Yes?" 

"Why don't you accompany me to see if Rasia needs any help in the kitchen." 

Felicity smiles. "Of course. It's the least I can do after all the food she made." 

Before she gets up, Oliver grabs her hand under the table, giving it a small squeeze. She smiles at him, and he returns it, his eyes shining brightly at her. And she swears she can get lost in his eyes, their warm blue depths. She leans forward and gives him a small chaste kiss, appropriate in present company. 

"Be right back," she tells him before getting up to join Moira in the kitchen. 

She skips into the kitchen, finding Mrs. Queen already rinsing some dishes. 

"I can do that." Felicity tells the older woman, stepping up to put her hands under the water. 

"Thank you dear." Moira says, drying her hands off on a dish towel. 

Felicity nods her head, smiling as she begins soaping a dish. 

Moira begins to dry the washed dishes. "My son is very smitten with you." She comments off handedly. 

_Huh._ "Funny," Felicity notes, placing another washed plate on the drying rack, "that's the second time I heard that today... Well I assure you the feeling is very mutual." Turning to look at him through the window, Felicity can see Oliver talking animatedly with Thea and occasionally nodding to something his father says, the sight makes her smile. "Oliver is... He's wonderful, in about a million different ways." She turns back to Moira. "But I'm sure you knew that already, you raised him." 

"That I did..." Mrs. Queen says, her vice drifting off in what sounds like an unfinished thought. 

Felicity turns off the water. "Was there something you wanted to talk about Mrs. Queen?" 

The older woman straightens then, placing her rag on the counter and turning her body to rest against it. "You know about half a year ago I stood at this very spot with Oliver. We were talking about you." 

"Oh?" 

"About he's feelings for you." She clarifies. 

"Oh..." Felicity's heart sinks. She knows exactly what Oliver's feelings for her were half a year ago and she remembers how much it hurt them both when she was too scared to do anything about her own feelings. "Mrs. Queen..." 

"He's been through a lot this year." Moira continues, her calculating gaze fixed on Felicity. 

"As I'm sure you have as well. And it seems the two of you have come a long way since then, and I'm happy for that..." 

She braces herself. "Why do I feel like there's a but coming?" 

"But if you hurt my son again—" 

"Mrs. Queen, with all due respect, I have to stop you there. I know what you're referring to, and what your afraid of, but I love Oliver. Before, I... couldn’t articulate what I wanted and I allowed other people to decide what was best for me because I thought it's what would make everyone happy. But I'm done with that now. The only person whose happiness I put above my own is Oliver's, because I am fully committed to him." 

Moira continues to eye Felicity carefully before turning the plate around in her hands. "Well then, I'm very happy to hear that." And with her calculating gaze comes a slight curving of her lips, and it's the most genuine smile Felicity has ever seen from her. It's not a ' _I'm Moira Queen_ ' smile; it's softer, lighter, like that of a proud approving mother. And getting that smile from Moira Queen feels like the best birthday present Felicity could have ever hoped to get from the woman. 

With a small nod and a smile of her own, Felicity turns back to washing the glass in her hand, feeling for once that she and the older woman have finally found common ground in their love and devotion to Oliver. 

* * *

After a single knock the apartment door swings open, revealing a smiling Diggle. "Felicity, Oliver, so glad you guys could make it! Please come in." He waves them into his home, with a kiss on the cheek for Felicity and a clasp on Oliver's back. 

"Thanks so much for the invite." Felicity smiles, undoing her coat now that she is in the warmth of the Diggle household. "And for making dinner, it's so nice of you guys but unnecessary, really." 

John looks around carefully before leaning in to whisper, "Honestly, don't mention it. Ever since the hormones kicked in Lyla's been cooking like crazy, haven't been able to get her out of the kitchen. I'm just glad we have people to share all this food with." 

"Is that them, Johnny?" Comes Lyla's voice from beyond the living room. 

"Yeah, they're here." Dig calls back. 

Lyla steps out into the hall, her small 4 months bump finally starting to show through her blouse. She smiles at them, holding a whisk with cake batter on one hand and waving then in with the other. "Hey guys, happy birthday Felicity." 

Felicity smiles, walking up to hug her pregnant friend. When she steps back, she gestures towards Lyla's stomach. "May I?" 

"Of course." 

Felicity bends down, placing a hand carefully over Lyla's belly button. "Hi, little one." She coos, instantly she feels a kick. Her eyes widen. "Oh wow..." 

Lyla nods, smiling. "Yup. Been like that all day, he's excited." 

"You know the sex already?" Felicity asks, standing up. 

"Not yet. It's a little too early to tell but we have our suspicions." 

"Different suspicions." Diggle corrects, coming forward with Oliver following closely behind. Lyla puts her hand on her hip. "Yes, Johnny believes it's a girl, says he can tell by my cravings." 

Diggle nods at the statement. "It's true, I can." 

"Meanwhile, I think he's a boy because of his restlessness." She states, rubbing her stomach. "Every time I come home from work, just hearing Johnny's voice sets the little one off kicking like crazy." 

Felicity tilts her head, trying to keep from staring at Lyla's stomach in wonderment. She's trying to wrap her head around having a little bundle of life kick her friend in the stomach from the inside all the time... 

"But you should see how excited he gets when he hears Sara's voice." Her friend continues. 

"Oh really?" 

"Yeah. Whenever we Skype her, I swear I feel like there is a kick boxing match going on in my stomach." 

Felicity laughs. 

"Speaking of, did you hear from her today?" Lyla asks. 

"Yeah I did. And she gave me a pretty great birthday present." 

"Oh yeah?" Dig asks. "And what was that?" 

"She arranged for her and some fellow soldiers to do a choreographed dance to the song Umbrella. And she lip synced it." 

Diggle laughs. "Wish I could have seen it." 

"Oh it was amazing!" Felicity gushes. "Gonna be pretty hard to beat I think..." Her eyes fall on Oliver as he slides up to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. 

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." He says confidently. 

"Well why don't you guys just relax. Dinner will be ready in a little bit." 

"Oh, are we having cake?" Felicity asks, pointing to the whisk in Lyla's hand. As much as she enjoys Lyla's baking, Felicity can't get over the chocolate sausage Rasia insisted she have before she left the Queen Mansion. 

Lyla looks down at this whisk in her hand. "This? Oh no, this is for me." She grins, licking some of the batter off of it. 

Felicity and Oliver laugh as John shakes his head and mutters a quiet, "Told you so." 

They arrange themselves in the seating area as Lyla heads back into the kitchen. 

"So John are you excited?" Felicity asks as she takes her place next to Oliver on the couch. "With the baby on the way and you guys opening up a new location, you must be thrilled." 

He lets out a little chuckle. "More like I'm starting to wish I would have taken up juggling as an elective in high school to prepare." 

She smiles at him as she absentmindedly rubs Oliver's knee. "I bet. But you guys still haven't settled on a location yet, right?" 

Dig and Oliver exchange a look. 

"We have a few places in mind." Oliver says. "But we're keeping our options open." 

That makes Diggle snort. "More like we're keeping everything under wraps. Your boyfriend here is very adamant about making sure everything about this expansion is under lock and key. He won't even let me tell Lyla too much." 

She turns to Oliver then. "Will I even be allowed to see when it opens up?" 

He chuckles. "Of course." 

She shrugs. "I have to ask." She continues to look at Oliver while addressing Dig. "You know, he wouldn't even let me see the locations when you guys narrowed it down to your top five last week." 

"Top five?" Dig asks, confused. But Oliver shoots him a look and by the time Felicity turns to face John, his expression is unreadable. 

_Hmm..._ She eyes the men suspiciously and is about to ask what's going on right as 

Lyla steps back into the living room. 

"Dinner's all set guys." She announces happily. 

Dig gets up, kissing her on the temple. He murmurs something into her hair which she smiles at. Oliver and Felicity get up then. 

"Can't wait, it smells good." Oliver says, walking with Diggle into the kitchen. 

"I can't thank you enough." Felicity says as she walks toward her friend. 

Lyla pats her hand. "Don't thank me until you've tried it all." 

"All?" 

"All five courses." 

Felicity tilts her head back laughing. "Oh Lyla, John must be very happy you're in a cooking mood." 

"Well I don't know about that," she winks, "When I transition to a new cuisine, Johnny has to be my guinea pig until I get it right." 

"Wow, brave man." 

Lyla smiles. "Sometimes love requires us to be brave. Sometimes it asks us to be bold." 

Felicity nods, taking Lyla's hand and walking into the kitchen with her. _Bold indeed..._

* * *

"Are you peeking?" 

"No, of course not. I'm just worried I'll run into something." 

He sighs. "Felicity, would I ever let you run into something? Don't you trust me?" 

"Of course I trust you." She pauses and sticks her hands out, moving them back and forth to make sure there's nothing in front of her before taking another tentative step forward. "It's me I don't trust. I know I'll find something to trip over." 

She feels him chuckle behind her. 

"I'm serious!" 

"I know you are, that's what makes it so funny. But we're almost there so just a little bit further..." She walks forward until he stops, effectively stopping her in her tracks. Oliver steadies her. "Ready?" He asks and she nods her head before he removes his hands from her face and allows her to open her eyes. 

Felicity blinks a few times, readjusting to the light before she looks around. "The Gambit? This is my surprise?" She looks around again confused, making sure she didn't miss anything. 

Oliver moves away from her. "Not exactly..." 

Suddenly he tosses something at her and she shrieks, reaching out blindly to grab it before it hits her face. She looks down at the object. It's a boxing glove and it's pink. Smiling, she looks up at him. "Is this for me?" 

"And this." He walks over to her, handing her the matching glove and a mouth guard, also pink. 

"Am I getting lessons?" Her smile grows. 

"Private lessons." He gestures to the empty gym. "I told you I would teach you how to properly defend yourself." 

He turns back to her and she can't do much else but smile at this man. 

"Do you like it?" 

"I love it." She gets up on her tippy toes to kiss him. 

He smiles down at her, rubbing her arm. "Well your first lesson starts now, go get dressed." 

"But I didn't bring any clothes." 

"Don't worry," he picks up a duffle bag near their feet and holds it up to her, "I did." Her brows knot together and he shrugs. "Thea packed it for you." 

Felicity shakes her head. "You sneaky Queen siblings." 

She grabs the bag from his hand and heads over to the locker room in the back. 

Oliver is in the ring with his back to her when she comes out, dressed in the workout clothes Thea picked out for her. She clears her throat as she approaches and Oliver turns around, punching mitts tucked under his arm. 

He smiles at her. "Hey, look at you." 

Felicity ducks her head and holds up a gloved hand. "I could use a little help...." 

Oliver quick steps under the ropes and hops off the ring, jogging up to her. 

"I got one glove down." She tells him, holding up her left hand as evidence. "But then I couldn't figure out how to tie the other one..." She frowns. 

He chuckles, taking her wrist into his hand. "No problem, I got it." 

She smiles gratefully as he fastens her glove in place. After he's done, she holds up the other one, with her mouth guard nestled in the middle. He takes it from her, gently placing it in her mouth. Felicity smiles, the pink guard pushing out her top lip. 

He smiles back, his eyes warm with laughter. "You look ready now." 

She nods, then smacks her gloves together, mostly because she's seen it in movies and because she thinks it'll make her look tough. Oliver laughs at her enthusiasm. 

He spends the next hour coaching her. He adjusts her hips and kicks her legs apart, widening her stance. Relaxing her shoulders with his hands, he reminds her to keep her hands up, blocking her face. And through out all his instructions and tips, he touches her softly in ways that have nothing to do with the lesson. He'll smooth his fingers over her sweaty neck or run a hand down her back as he steps back or he'll tuck hair away from her face that has fallen loose from her ponytail. It's nice and comforting...and distracting. 

"Make sure your weight is evenly distributed," he tells her, "it makes for stronger punches." 

She changes her foot placement slightly and her next punch connects with his mitt in a resonating _smack_. 

He nods his approval. "Good." 

She throws a few more hits. The next time she cocks her arm back, her punch falters slightly. 

"Keep that elbow up." He instructs. 

She does as he says, her next hit is better. 

"Remember what I said about that thumb." 

Felicity's hands drop to her knees as she breathes heavily. "Is this how you are with all your trainees?" 

He puts his gloves down. "Yeah, why? You don't like it?" 

"No." She whips sweat off her temple. "It's really motivational and helpful...but I'm exhausted. Water break?" 

Oliver smirks at her, nodding. "Water break." 

She knows her hair is plastered to her neck and forehead and she's completely drenched her tank top in sweat, so she's not quite sure why he's looking at her like that, like she's the best thing he's ever seen, but she's grateful her face is already flushed so it masks the blush tainting her cheeks. 

He walks over to the edge of the ring and bends down to retrieve her water bottle, walking it over to her. She takes it from him with a smile, holding it between her gloves and chugging it greedily. 

"Thanks," she tells him, wiping water from her chin as he takes the bottle from her. 

He nods. "Are you enjoying your present?" 

"I'm loving it!" She smiles up at him, staring at the happy lines of his face. "Oh! Speaking of..." Felicity yanks a glove off and jumps down off the ring, running over to her purse. Oliver's confusion and curiosity trail behind her but she ignores it, rummaging through her bag. 

When she finds the small box she skips over to Oliver, sliding under the ropes to stop in front of him. She holds up the small box to him. 

"What's this?" He asks, clamping his mitt under his arm to pull his hand out of it. 

She just smiles as he takes the box from her hand. "Open it." 

He cocks an eyebrow at her but opens the box anyways. When he sees what's inside, his brows draw together. "Is this...?" 

"I _may_ have borrowed your dad's old watch, the one you keep in the very back of your drawer." She gets up on her toes to see the watch as he pulls it out. "I cleaned it and had some stones replaced." 

He inspects her work quietly. 

"I also had it engraved." 

He flips the watch over. Carved on the back, it says: _time is just a social construct._ Oliver laughs at that. She grins, leaning in closer. "I figured now you can be fashionably late." 

He smiles back at her and cups her cheek leaning down for a kiss. When they pull back he raises a brow, asking, "Is this a jab about me being late to the movies last week?" 

Felicity laughs. "No." She places a hand on his chest. "You're late sometimes, and that's fine." She shrugs. "The important thing is that you show up. Just like I may be late sometimes too...but I'm always going to show up. Always for you." 

His eyes darken slightly and when he leans in to kiss her it's not the same as before. It's a little rougher, a little more heated, a little desperate. It has her clinging to his shoulders. 

When he pulls back he immediately sets to pulling his other mitt off, quickly followed by her glove. She looks down at his actions, seeing them but not quiet understanding them yet. Once he's gotten her glove off, he pulls her closer with his arms around her waist. He kisses her again before she has a moment to process it. 

But _this_? This is much better. With both her hands free now she can really grip his shoulder and bring her hand up to card through the short hair at the nape of his neck. He groans, pulling her closer, flushed against him. The hard panes of his muscles meet her softness and she loves the way his fingers are digging in to her, right above her hips. 

His lips never stop, smoldering in their passion, urgent in their movements. When his tongue slips into her mouth, caressing her own, she lets out an embarrassing moan. She can feel him smirk against her at that. But it's short lived because now he's exploring her mouth, licking at her teeth and moving against her tongue, as if he's exploring for the first time... _The first time?_

The thought brings Felicity up short, sobering her for the moment. She takes her hands away from his neck to gently push at his chest. 

He looks down at at her, his skin flushed and his eyes dazed. She knows the feeling. 

"What’s wrong? What is it?" His voice comes out a little breathlessly and she's glad to know she's not the only one. 

She shakes her head, trying to clear the fog in her brain. "No, nothing. I just think that if we keep going..." Biting her lip, Felicity trails off nervously. She's embarrassed to admit how much she wants him right now, how her body is literally thumping with desire for him. 

He cups her cheek, his thumb moving back and forth slowly. "I know." He tells her quietly. 

Her breath hitches at his tone. 

"Don't you want this?" Oliver asks. 

And yes she does. So much. Almost more than anything, but.... "Are you sure?" She has to know he's forgiven her; she has to know that he believes her when she tells him he's the only one... 

A smile curves his lips and he angles his head down to her, his words a mere breath against her lips. "I'm sure. I'm sure of you." 

And her heart swells at the words and the look in his eyes as he says them. When he kisses her it's soft and slow. His tongue comes out to trace her bottom lip, begging for permission and she happily complies. The hand on her cheek moves to her chin, to tilt her head up. And she braces herself against his neck, standing on the very ends of her toes. 

Pressed completely flushed against him she can fell every inch of him, every glorious inch, and it makes her blood pump quicker. His hand runs down her back, and cups right underneath her butt cheek. He hoists her up and her legs wrap around him automatically. She smiles against his mouth at the familiar position. 

He walks them over to the edge of the ring, his lips never leaving hers, and he steps over the ropes, taking them both out of the ring altogether. Felicity shivers at the show of such strength and her legs hold him tighter. Oliver breaks his mouth away from hers and she swallows a big breath. He doesn't stop though, his lips move across her cheek and trail down her neck, leaving kisses at the hollow of her throat. Again, she would be embarrassed of the noises leaving her mouth if they weren't alone in the gym. 

Oliver brings them to some sort of weight lifting machine and lays her flat across the bench. She arches her back as her shoulder blades come in contact with the cold plastic surface. He peppers kisses across her collar bone in apology. Felicity starts pressing up against him. In this position their middles are perfectly align and she can rub herself against the hardening length in his pants, creating a delicious friction between them. He growls at that, edging up the hem of her tank top. She tries to help him out as best as she can bet the top is tight and sticks to her skin with the sweat covering it. But eventually they are able to wiggle her out of it. And Oliver must not have known that the shirt came with a built in bra because once he peels it off over her, leaving her completely bare from the waist up, his eyes darken even further. 

"You're so beautiful..." He whispers, almost to himself. 

And Felicity almost feels like hiding from the intensity of his gaze, which is ridiculous. So she pushes up instead to press her lips firmly against his. And he responds, kissing her back as he runs his hands down along her side. She jumps slightly at the feel, and claws his back trying to get his shirt off. When she finally catches the hem, she tugs it off and over his head. He tosses the shirt to a side and looks down at her. 

Felicity stares at his body. Sure she hasn't seen him like this in a while but she's confident she'll never become immune to it. His tight rippling muscles, the sheer power pumping under his skin, the tattoos the act as a roadmap of his life, it's all a reflection of his soul and she runs her hand across all of it. 

"Beautiful..." She doesn't even notice that it comes out of her mouth. But Oliver does, tilting his head slightly at the word, as if he had never heard that word used to describe him before. And Felicity resolves right then and there to rectify that mistake. Oliver Queen deserves to know how beautiful he is. 

His lips descend on hers again, softer and slower as their chests push together. And the feel of his bare skin against hers, after all this time, it just feels right. 

"God Oliver I love you." She says it to herself almost but she thinks he might have heard based on the slight catch in his breath. 

But then his fingers are trailing down to her tights and suddenly she can't think straight. Oliver tugs them down and she arches her hips to help him as he pulls them off completely. He runs his hands down her thighs, leaving goose bumps in his wake. Felicity has to hold back a whimper, seeing the naked desire in his eyes. Running her hands down his chest, over his stomach, Felicity latches on to the belt hops of his pants and pushes them down and off him, allowing them to fall onto the floor of the gym. 

Oliver dips his head to leave more sucking kisses on her neck, going to her chest and Felicity takes the opportunity to slip her hand into his boxers to feel him. He hisses when she finally makes contact with him, wrapping her hand around his cock. And logically Felicity knows they should be taking their time, savoring this moment, their first time as a couple. But she and Oliver have been holding themselves back, with good reason, for so long and now that they've finally made it here she feels like the dam is about to burst. 

She pulls him completely out of his boxers, and he is hot and heavy in her hand. Oliver's hand comes up to knead her breast while he rolls and pinches the nipple of the other. She arches into him, pumping his cock in her hand. He ducks his head to place a kiss on her lips before replacing her hand with his own. 

"You ready?" He asks, taking her back to their first night together all those months ago. And the rough sound of his voice in the otherwise silent gym makes her unable to respond with words. She nods instead. 

Oliver runs a thumb over her folds, collecting her juices. "Oh Felicity, you are ready." 

Her mouth opens up in a silent plea, her hands clutching at his shoulders. 

He lines them up, easing the tip in and she gasps out, causing him to freeze. He looks down at her, the need in his eyes instantly shifting to worry. "What's wrong?" 

And the concern in his voice, at a moment like this, just makes her love him all the more. 

"Nothing...it's just...it's been a while..." The last time was with him if she wants to be exact. 

The look on Oliver's face softens and he places a gentle kiss on her lips, one that makes her chest warm. "We can go slow." 

She nods, shifting her hips to show him she's ready. 

Oliver kisses her again before carefully, slowly gliding his hip forward, entering her inch by inch. And when he finally slides all the way home, he groans deeply and she moans loudly. They stay like that for a moment, with him buried to the hilt unmoving. And Felicity enjoys the delicious stretch that almost feels new. After an experimental wiggle of the hips, she grabs Oliver's face in a searing kiss to let him know he can move. 

And he does so. Long deep thrusts that have her crying out at the movement. Oliver has his arms underneath her, holding her by the top of her shoulders. Every time he rocks forward her entire body shakes with the power of it. Felicity's legs are wrapped around him, ankles locked low on his back. She kisses every inch of him she can reach: lips, chin, check, jaw, neck, shoulder. And when she makes her way back to his lips, their kisses are slow and sensual. 

Again she's reminded of the stark contrast between this time and their first time. Their first time had been quick and desperate, fast and frantic. She would have never been able to imagine that what was born that night would ever turn into this. And as Oliver rocks his body into hers, Felicity gasps his name in adoration. He groans in response and it sends a shiver down her spine. 

Her hands rake his back, desperately trying to get him even closer. She needs him closer. Oliver seems to feel the same, his arms tightening around her, their bodies now completely pressed against one another. 

His thrusts are long, measured, and oh so deep. She mewls out, her chin digging into his shoulder. He whispers her name against her cheek repeatedly. 

"Felicity...Felicity." 

And it's everything, everything she's been holding insider her. Every time he slides into her she feels every nerve in her body come alive with passion and desire and need and lust. And love. 

It's electric. 

It's too much. 

But somehow, it's not enough. 

"Oliver..." She whimpers, the heel of her foot rubbing his lower back. "Please...more." 

He complies and, in a move she doesn't understand, he somehow manages to maneuver them onto the floor without ever leaving her. 

Now flat on the floor he sits up on his knees, taking her legs and holding them up around his waist. They now wrap around the middle of his back. With one hand he grips her hip, angling it upward and the next time he pushes into her, her eyes roll to the back of her head. 

"Oh! ....Oliver..." 

Felicity puts her hand above her head, finding the foot of the machine, and pushes back, using it for leverage. He picks her up again, a hand flat on her back bringing her up so she's on his lap and can slide her mouth against his. 

And God, she'll never tire of kissing Oliver Queen. The sweetness of his lips, the taste of him, the way his tongue probes her mouth. And the way he's inside her now, filling her with each thrust to depths she never knew of before. 

She breaks away from his mouth to take a much needed breath. He places kisses down her neck as she pants against his. And in that moment it just comes out of her more naturally than it ever has before. 

"I love you." 

And then his next thrust hits a particularly sweet spot inside of her as she's crying out at the sensation. She shuts her eyes tight, feeling the pleasure shoot down to her toes, it's almost too much. 

Oliver trails his mouth up to the shell of her ear. "I love–" he pushes into her again and her fingers dig into his skin, her nails leaving marks in their wake. "God, Felicity, I need you to cum now." He instructs between thrusts, his voice rough. 

She nods helplessly against him, her body at his mercy. 

He flips them over and she lands on top of him in one fluid motion. 

She grinds down on him, moaning out loud at the feel of him filling her, surrounding her, all around her. His strong hard body against her, his big powerful arms holding her, his heavy breaths harsh against her skin. She starts to shake, and feels it begin in the slight quake of her thighs around him. 

Felicity opens her eyes, looking down at Oliver. He's looking at her already, his jaw clenched in concentration and she can see he's starving off his own orgasm. She leans down to kiss him, it's bruising and steals the breath she intended to speak with. But when she pulls back she sees the undeniable love shining back at her in his eyes and she breaks. 

"Oh god!" 

It's finally too much and she comes apart. Throwing her head back, Felicity cries out her orgasm as wave after wave of pleasure crashes over her. Oliver places a hand on her hip, keeping her steady as she clenches around him. 

As she starts to come down, slowly, Felicity looks down to see Oliver still trying to keep his climax at bay. She's done with him holding back. Taking his hand in hers, she holds it above his head and begins to rock over him, rolling her hips. 

He hisses and holds onto her hand tightly, their fingers intertwining. 

Felicity grinds down on him harder, moving faster. Her body is still so sensitive and she squeezes her muscles around him in time with the roll of her hips. Oliver grips her hand tightly then and she sees the muscles in his abdomen contracting, she knows what's coming. 

"Felicity I—" 

But then his whole body stiffens and he releases into her, a deep groan leaving his lips instead. Felicity slows movements and his hand slowly releases hers. She slumps onto his chest, exhausted. They're both panting when she lays her head to rest on his chest. 

It's quiet in The Gambit, only the sounds of their heavy breathing filling the dead air. 

"I can't' believe we just did that..." Felicity says. 

Oliver opens an eye to look down at her. "Which part?" 

Her cheeks get red and she hides her face in his shoulder. It makes no sense that now, after all that, she's being shy. "I mean I can't believe it happened here, in the gym." She mumbles against his skin. 

He chuckles softly, his chest rising and falling with the movement. 

She peeks up to look at him, his face slick with sweat. And with every inch of her skin absolutely humming in satisfaction, she holds him a little tighter, smiling in amazement that they made it here. 

He looks down at her. "What?" He asks, referring to the ridiculous smile gracing her face. 

She gives him a half shrug. "I'm just happy." 

Oliver smiles in return. "Me too." 

She sighs in content against his chest, listening to the strong constant beat of his heart. It's soothing. 

"You know..." He speaks up and Felicity turns her head to look up at him as he stares at the ceiling, "when you left you wrote to me that you just wanted me to be happy." He looks down at her. "Well being with you makes me the happiest I've ever been." 

She bites her lip at the admission, her chest filling with warmth. "Being with you is more than enough birthday presents for a lifetime." She tells him. 

Oliver leans down, slanting his mouth over hers in a slow kiss. 

"Thank you." She says when they pull back. 

He moves hair out of her face. "For what?" 

Felicity takes a deep breath. "For waiting for me. I ruined everything and I left to go find myself... But through everything you were there." She places her hand on his chest, right over his Russian tattoo. "Thank you." 

"I love you Felicity. I'll always be there for you." 

Her breath hitches at the words. It's the first time he's told her that since before she left. It doesn't escape either of their notice. 

All that's left is for her to push her body up and hold his face in her hands. "I love you so much Oliver Queen." She kisses him soundly, promising to give him everything as their lips touch. 

He smiles up at her and she's swears his beauty is mesmerizing in this moment. Oliver tucks her into his side and she rests against his chest as they allow their breathing to slow. And Felicity can't help the smile on her face, because after everything, they've finally found themselves in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this lengthy chapter. I was trying to get us full circle so we can finally get to a place where they could begin a happily ever after.  
> I have to thank a reader who left a comment on one of the earlier chapters ages ago, she said she couldn't wait for make up sex in the gym and that stuck with me so she inspired the ending. I don't remember the name or if she even still reads but if it that was you, thank you!  
> I won't get to mushy since the official end is right around the corner. I don't think the epilogue will be this long but hopefully I'll have it up by a more reasonable time. Sorry for the wait on this one, can't wait to know what you think :)


	25. From This Day Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody. I'd apologize for the long wait but it's sort of becoming our thing, no? Also I had a hard time letting this go.  
> Can you say there's a lot of sex in this chapter? Yes, you can. Can you say I tried to put a little bit of everything that made up the entire story in here? Sure can. Can you say that this is by far, hands down, the most nervous I've ever been to post any part of this story ever? Yes, absolutely!  
> This story has been one hell of a ride and shown me so much about this lovely fandom and about who I am as a writer. Anyways it's so hard to say goodbye so I'll leave it for the end. I'll just say that I really want to thank everyone who read, recommended, commented, gave kuddos and skimmed this story whether you were there from the first chapter or a first time binge reader, it honestly means the world to me.  
> With that said, don't let me hold you any longer and enjoy!

_A year and a half later..._

He slams the door of their home close. Unnecessary, since they both already know he's mad, but he feels the need to make the point anyways. She huffs, kicking off her boots right next to the shoe stand—which she knows annoys him—and pulls off her cardigan, yanking it down her arms angrily. Oliver drops the last of their bags and locks the door behind them. 

"I'm going to take nap." Felicity announces before storming off to their bedroom. 

He sighs out in irritation. Ok, so now she's mad at him. _Great._

Oliver hadn't really thought to consider this scenario when they bought the house. The issue of ‘who goes where’ when they were in a fight wasn't really a factor they talked about when they decided to move in together. Truthfully, there wasn't much discussion at all on the subject. It was one of those things that just happened organically. 

It started with him having a drawer at her apartment. Innocent enough. A drawer filled with some workout clothes, a couple of sweaters, a sleep shirt and some sweatpants. He couldn't even recalled exactly when it happen, slowly he's sure, but then suddenly he had his own drawer and anytime he left something of his at her place it would end up in that drawer. 

He cleared out some space in his closet for her. It wasn't a conscious thing, he was getting rid of some stuff and then decided to not fill up that space with his other clothes. And sure enough that space slowly started being taken up by her stuff. At first it was just a spare change of clothes whenever she slept over and needed to be at work early the next morning. Then it was her own toothbrush in his bathroom, a spare case of contact lens, a small makeup bag... 

And then one day they were walking along the Santa Cruz beach board walk—it had been her idea, something spontaneous to get them out of the city for the weekend—and he turned to her, watching mesmerized as the sunlight played with her loose hair and there was no turning back. The words had just come out of him. "Do you want to get a place together?" 

She’d seemed surprised for a minute then smiled, leaning in to hold his face for a kiss. 

When they pulled back, he asked, "Is that a yes?" 

She nodded, a beautiful smile gracing her face as she said, "Yes." 

And that had pretty much been it, they were looking at places within the week and by the end of the month they were all packed up, moving into the new house. 

There had been some slight confusion on Thea's end. "The suburbs?" She had wrinkled her nose at the mere prospect. "Why all the way over there? I mean I'm guessing the house is nice and all but you'll be out of the city." 

It was true, the move had put them farther away from their jobs but it just gave him an excuse to take his car to work more often and, on occasion, drive Felicity in. 

_Speaking of my girlfriend..._ Oliver peeks over the banister, from the first floor to the second floor, and into their room. But the door is shut and there's no light coming from underneath it. 

He sighs. He should probably go up and apologize to her but he's not ready to let go of his anger yet, not completely. It's childish, he knows, but if he's going to make up with Felicity, he has to be in a better mood than he is now. 

It's not her fault, he tries to reason with himself as he steps into the kitchen and puts the casserole pan in the fridge. _Hmm, need to buy more eggs..._ He takes out a pen from the drawer and scribbles 'eggs' on the shopping list posted on the refrigerator door. The list was one of Felicity's ideas as they settled into this new unspoken domesticity. This new life of theirs is something Thea teases him about from time to time. 

"The shared mail box, the backyard, the two extra rooms! Oh, I swoon!" She would giggle whenever he mentioned he had to head back home. 

When Grant had found out about the extra rooms, he'd been curious. "That's a lot of space man. What are you guys planning to fill it up with?" 

Felicity and Oliver had their answers ready for him, and Caitlin, and Donna...and everyone else who had inquired about the rooms. 

"An indoor gym for one." He'd say. 

"And I'll turn the other one into an office." Felicity would chime in. 

But then Oliver started putting his equipment in the basement. "It's cooler down there." He had explained to Felicity. She had accepted his reasoning easily enough. And while one of the extra rooms did indeed become a study for her, the other room stayed suspiciously vacant. 

They put a spare bed in the room and a dresser from Felicity’s old apartment, and called it a guest room. It’s an unspoken agreement between the two of them that they won't fill the room up with any furniture they can't move out at a moment's notice. He secretly imagines the room becoming a nursery one day. And sometimes when he catches Felicity staring into it, her mind elsewhere, he can almost believe that she's thinking the same thing. 

Sometimes she catches him watching her as she stares into the room. Usually she smiles and looks down blushing. She either pushes up her glasses or tucks loose hair behind her ear before moving to her office, suddenly busying herself with her tablet. 

But they haven't talked about kids. Not yet. Even though the topic always comes up whenever they go to see Donna, which has been a lot recently since the second location for The Gambit just opened up in Vegas. 

"Oliver!" Felicity's eyes had been wide and disbelieving when he finally told her. 

"What? You don't think it's a good idea? We'll be able to visit your mom and Walter a lot more." 

She had gotten up on her knees and scooted closer to him on the sofa. "You didn't do this just for me right?" She had questioned him. "It's a very sweet gesture but if you did it just because you thought it'd make me happy... I just don't want you to be overlooking other places where your business would thrive even more just because—" 

"Felicity," he had cut her short with a hand on her shoulder. And when she looked up at him, he kissed her just because he could. "Dig and I looked at a lot of places, Vegas won. I chose it because it's what makes the most sense for the gym. The fact that it means I get to take you with me every time I make trips over there is just a bonus." 

He tapped her nose and she smiled at that. "I love you so much Oliver Queen." Then she had kissed him again and he’d leaned into in, humming against her lips, only to have her pull back, "But you know what my mom's going to say when we go see her right?" 

He _had_ known, and Donna had said it, every single time they went to see her without fault. It was all in good fun but he could see the truth in her eyes whenever she said it. 

_"Next time, I want you to tell me you're working on giving me grandkids, I'm not getting any younger you know!"_

She had said it before they left today too. But Oliver had been too angry to enjoy the color that arose on Felicity's cheeks every time her mother would make those comments. 

He sighs, looking upstairs now from his spot in the kitchen. Felicity is probably actually asleep. It makes sense; the drive back from Vegas was long and had been filled with tense silence since he refused to talk about why he was mad. And when she couldn't get an explanation for his behavior, she had started to get mad at him. Truthfully, she had every right to be, Oliver wasn't exactly justified in his actions... But he doesn't feel like explaining that to her now. 

He turns around, noticing a dirty dish in the sink. He decides to wash it, it'll give him something to do, keep his hands busy. Picking it up, he sees it's the bowl Felicity ate cereal out of yesterday morning before they got on the road headed to Vegas. As he starts to lather it up with soap, Oliver remembers the last time he had the bowl in his hands...

_Felicity walks into his room, caring the bowl carefully in between her hands. From his place on the bed, surrounded by blankets, he can make out the steam rolling off of it in curls. The sight alone makes him wet his chapped lips right._

_"Okay..." She draws out the syllable as she carefully sits on the edge of the bed, settling in. "Here we go." She smiles up at him._

_Oliver throws a blanket over his head. "Get out of here...I'm hideous." He whines, his itchy throat making his voice come out weird, nasally and high at the same time._

_She pulls the covers back, rolling her eyes "Oh stop being such a drama queen..."_

_"Not funny," he mumbles, "never been funny." He folds his arms over his chest, slouching further into the mattress._

_But Felicity seems happy with her joke regardless. She just smiles, bringing a spoonful of soup up to his mouth. "I, for one, disagree."_

_He feels awful, and he’s sure he doesn’t look much better either. This cold really snuck up on him, coming out of nowhere, and completely threw him for a loop. Felicity had to call his mom for suggestions since the last time he’d been sick with a cold was in grade school._

_Although with how he feels now like his insides are slowly killing him, he’s not so sure this is just some common cold. With how awful he feels, clearly on his death bed, surely this must be some deadly disease that’s only masquerading as the common cold so it can go around undetected killing people. So far he’s had no takers for his conspiracy theory…_

_He sips the soup Felicity holds up to him; it's warm and soothing on his tongue. "You really don't have to be here, you'll get sick too." She just serves him up another spoonful. "Then consider this as me paying you back for taking care of me when I had that allergic reaction."_

_Oliver's brow furrows at the memory, he almost strangled their waiter that night. "I have no idea how nuts got into your salad...I specifically asked the waiter to make sure—"_

_"Oliver," she caresses his cheek, stopping the beginnings of his rant, a rant she’s heard many times already, "it's fine. I'm fine. Sometimes that kinda stuff just happens."_

_He sighs, happily accepting the next spoonful of soup she offers. "It's not supposed to." He argues weakly, the soup already calming and relaxing him._

_"But you were there to save the day." She smiles and leans in to peck at his lips. "My hero."_

_He hums against her lips before pulling back, “I don’t want you to get sick…” He says again in warning, but only halfheartedly since he doesn’t actually want her to leave._

_And Felicity knows this. So she just rolls her eyes, shutting him up by feeding him more soup._

Felicity had taken care of him for the rest of the day, giving him medicine and warming up the food John had dropped off, courtesy of Lyla. Oliver had asked Felicity to move in soon after. 

Once the bowl is completely dry, he puts it back in the cabinet. He looks around the kitchen for a moment, checking to see if there's anything else that needs to be washed. He knows there's nothing, they had left everything in order and virtually spotless before they left, assuming they'd be too tired when they got back to clean anything up. Although Oliver had hoped that the exhaustion would be for completely different reasons.... 

He sighs, walking through the living room. Oliver finds Felicity's ukulele lying on the couch and picks it up. He had gotten it for her as a present when they went out camping. The trip was technically a celebration of their anniversary but it wasn’t explicitly stated as such. Felicity had explained that there were too many important dates in their relationship for them to celebrate them all. She said she just preferred to spend as much time as she could with him and not worry about remembering any particular dates. 

Still, the camping trip had fallen in line with their anniversary so he decided to get her a present. And in typical Felicity fashion, she hadn't shown up empty handed either. She presented him with a voucher for archery lessons because of a joking conversation they had one night while curled up on the couch watching Robin Hood. But when Oliver had presented her with the ukulele, explaining that he remembered that it had come up in conversation once their senior year of college, she had launched herself onto his lap, kissing him senseless in thanks. He had convinced her to play something for him, she was hesitant at first but Oliver eventually coaxed her into playing a song. 

_Don't you worry there my honey, we might not have any money, but we've got out love to pay the bills..._

Her lovely clear voice had rung out softly into the night air, the crackling of the campfire as the only background noise. It had been a nice, cool night. He loved seeing Felicity let go a little more, singing and strumming the chords she knew on the ukulele. And afterwards, he had dragged their sleeping bag out of the tent and they had slept in the middle of the campground so they could make love under the stars. 

Oliver sighs, wondering if what he had planned for Vegas wouldn't have been put to better use during their camping trip. But no, that would have been too soon, and he likes the way their trip went. With the ukulele in hand, Oliver decides it's time to just bite the bullet as he slowly makes his way up the stairs. 

The wall running along the side of the stairs has pictures adorning every inch of it. Felicity had originally started putting it together halfheartedly and Thea had eagerly taken over the project and completed it. Pictures of them and all the people they care about line the wall. 

There’s one of the two of them together on their camping trip once they had finally reached the top of a mountain they had hiked. One of Diggle and Lyla in the delivery room as they hold their small newborn baby girl, Sara Rose. She’s named partly after Sara and partly after Lyla's mother, Rose. There is another picture of him, Thea, and his parents at one of the Queen Holiday Parties. Felicity had insisted on taking the picture even though he had wanted her to be in it. So instead he had taken one of her and Donna next to the menorah his mother always made sure to have out during the holidays. There’s another that Sara had sent them of her and Nyssa in Afghanistan playing cards in the dessert. And there is even a picture of Oliver, Felicity, Tommy, and his girlfriend Mei, when they had flown down to surprise Oliver for his birthday. 

He passes them all on his way upstairs and he smiles at one of his favorites—a picture Cisco had taken of Felicity and Curtis during one of their late night brain storming sessions, in the conference room surrounded by take out—as he walks by it. Once he makes it to the foot of the stairs, he turns left to come face to face with the door to his— _their_ —bedroom. He slowly opens the door. There's moonlight streaming from their bedroom window, casting Felicity in a soft light, the skin visible to him almost glowing. 

She's lying on her side, and Oliver can tell she purposely scooted all the way to the edge of the bed to put as much distance between them as possible. It makes him sigh. He should have expected this much. The last big fight that they had, they weren't living together yet so there hadn't been this issue of going to bed angry. 

The last time they really fought, it had kind of come out of nowhere. He had just come back from a trip to Nevada, one he hadn't been able to take her with him because of her responsibilities at QC, and gone over to her place to see her. She asked about his trip and told him about this funny story Cisco had told her when they went out to lunch, all the while he was being very gruff and giving her short clipped responses. And Felicity, to her credit, had been understanding, chalking his attitude up to jet lag and exhaustion. But then he snapped at her for something, it was so small and meaningless he can't even remember it now, and she had gotten angry, demanding to know what was wrong with him. He just left without a word, fuming the entire way back to his apartment. And Felicity had let him sulk, for almost a whole 24 hours...

_Oliver slumps down further into his couch. He's surrounded by darkness, but not intentionally. A thunderstorm hit hard, knocking the power out. He’d been watching them talk about it on the news when suddenly his entire building had blacked out. So now he's sitting alone in his apartment engulfed in total darkness, save for the candle he has flickering in the kitchen counter. Felicity would call this setting perfectly over dramatic._

_Oh, Felicity... His anger has mostly dissipated, now he just feels guilty and stupid. Maybe he should just call her, he thinks. But the thought gives him pause, she was pretty mad when he left, she may need a little more time before he tries to apologize._

_Furious pounding interrupts his thoughts. Only Thea knocks on his door like that, when she feels like being annoying, which hasn't been for a while. And besides it's pretty late, she should be at Verdant by now... The insistent knocking continues, forcing him to get up and throw a hoodie on as he moves towards the door._

_"I'm coming, I'm coming." He calls out._

_When he swings the door open, he stops short. Standing right before him is a thoroughly soaked Felicity._

_He blinks back his surprise. “Felicity…what… What are you doing here?”_

_“We need to talk.” She says simply as she makes her way past him and into the apartment, her teeth chattering._

_He stands at the door, dumbstruck, for a moment longer before closing it and making his way towards her. “You’re wet.”_

_She gives him a halfhearted smile. “Yeah, I don’t need to be told that.”_

_Oliver shakes his head. “Sorry, that was dumb. What I meant was…why are you here?”_

_“I told you, we need to talk.”_

_“But now? It’s pouring Felicity, you could have gotten sick.”_

_She pushes her chin out stubbornly. “It couldn’t wait.” She says, crossing her arms._

_“I doubt that…”_

_She ignores his comment. “What happened to you yesterday?”_

_“Felicity you’re literally dripping wet.”_

_“Something happened, it wasn’t just jetlag.” She pushes forward, disregarding the puddle forming underneath her._

_He shakes his head, heading towards the hall._

_“Oliver, talk to me.”_

_“I’m going to get you a blanket, you should change into something dry.” He tells her._

_She stops him with a hand over his own. “Talk to me and I will.”_

_He stops and studies her face. She squeezes his hand. And despite the tremble of her cold fingers, it’s comforting. He doesn’t know how she manages it._

_“Let me at least get you a blanket.”_

_She nods, relinquishing her hold on his hand. He goes to the cupboard in the hall and pulls out a thick wool blanket, draping it over her shoulders. Felicity gives him a small smile._

_“Th-thanks.” She digs her nose into the fabric, inhaling it._

_He leads her over to the couch and they both sit down. She turns to him, her knees pressed against his, as she waits expectantly for his explanation._

_Oliver takes a deep breath, running a hand over his head. “I, uh, spoke to Thea right after I landed.” He starts and out of the corner of his eye he can see Felicity studying his profile, waiting patiently. “And she told me what’s going on with my parents right now. My mom found out my dad’s been unfaithful. Again. Another cheating scandal…”_

_She blinks in surprise. “But…how’s that possible? I thought your dad was on a business trip all week.”_

_“Yeah apparently that’s where he’s been meeting up with his mistress.”_

_“Oh, Oliver.” Her hand falls to his knee, rubbing it in small circles. “I’m so sorry…”_

_He shakes his head. “My mom’s furious, naturally, and already she’s coming up with excuses for him, signing them up for couple’s counseling. Again. As if that will do any good, or make a difference. They haven’t been happy together for decades and still they won’t separate.”_

_She rubs his knee. “So that’s what put you in such a funk, have you spoken to anyone else about it?”_

_“No. Can’t talk to Thea about it, she’s already accepted it’s who they are, that they’ll never get a divorce, never break the cycle. They’ve always been like that, even when we were growing up. It’s the only model I had for what relationships were like, for what a marriage was like. And to think that I would ever turn into that…”_

_“Wait.” She closes her eyes and stops the movement of her hand over his knee. “This isn’t about them…it’s about us, isn’t it?” At his silence, she brings her hand up to his cheek, her cold fingers curling around the scruff growing out of his skin, and forces his head to turn to her. “Oliver listen to me, we are not your parents. And we’re not mine either, thankfully.” Felicity looks away with a small shiver at that before turning her gaze back to him. “Whatever mistakes they made in their own relationships, that has no bearing on us. You are your own person. As much as I love your mom and dad, we’re nothing like them. And when it comes to being a partner in life, no one compares to you.”_

_Oliver hears the absolute conviction is her voice and see the undeniable truth in her eyes when she says that. It makes something warm blossom inside him, catching a glimpse of how she sees him through her eyes._

_Felicity brings his face down to place a soft kiss against his lips. Her lips are cold and small droplets of water still cling to the skin around her mouth. But when she opens up to him, she’s as warm and soft as ever, and he feels it right something in his chest that was off before._

_She pulls back, looking up at him through her wet lashes. “So trust me when I say that that’s never going to be us, okay? Because I love you with everything in me, you know that don’t you?”_

_He smiles at her then, amazed that after a few words of reassurance and a soft brush of her lips she could wipe away his insecurities as if they were nothing. “Yeah I do.” He leans down to kiss her again. “And I also know that I need to get you into some dry clothes.”_

_Felicity tries to laugh past the chattering of her teeth as he sweeps her off the couch and into his arms, carrying her into the bedroom. And just like that, their first real fight dissolves into a damp pile of clothes on the floor and soft sighs of pleasures whispered into the dark apartment well into the night._

He sets the ukulele down by its case next to her armoire. Making his way over to his side of the room, Oliver starts unbuttoning his shirt and taking off his watch. Once he gets to his dresser, he empties the contents of his pockets—phone, wallet... He stops once his fingers brush against the small velvet box. After a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure Felicity is still asleep, he carefully takes the box out of his pocket. Looking down at it, he slowly lifts the top of the box to reveal the ring nestled inside. 

It had been burning a hole in his pocket the entire driver back home, only serving to make him angrier. It hadn't been easy, picking out the ring; it’d been one of the most daunting and challenging decisions he’s ever had to make. For weeks he had tried to subtly picked his mother’s, Thea's, and Donna’s brain for what kind of ring to get. He knew Felicity liked colorful things but her taste in jewelry was rather simple. In fact, he had never even seen her wear a ring before. She preferred to keep her hands bare; it made typing easier. 

So finding a ring that met all his qualifications had been no easy feat. In fact he was at the 5th jewelry shop when he has finally spotted it. Simple, elegant, beautiful. The man behind the counter had gone on and on about cut and carats but in reality none of that matter to Oliver, he just had to be able to picture the ring on Felicity’s finger and knew that she would like it. And ever since spotting the ring he could do nothing but envision it on her slender finger. 

He puts it back in his sock drawer, all the way in the back. It wasn't supposed to make its way back here, it was supposed to come back on Felicity's finger. He had planned everything. 

The Smoak family reunion would have been the perfect time to ask her, surrounded by all her relatives in the city she grew up in, the one that helped mold her into the woman she is today, the woman he loves. But it was all ruined. And now the ring goes back into its hiding place until he comes up with another plan of action. 

He’s had the ring for close to a month now, constantly moving it from one hiding place to another. And just when he gets ready to pop to question, something always come up. Or someone, in this case. 

Oliver closes his sock drawer and slips on some sweatpants. He opts to go without a shirt. Even though it's not as scorching hot here as it had been in Vegas, Starling is still relatively warm for the summer, especially at night. Pulling back the thin sheet she has on her, Oliver crawls into bed behind Felicity. 

He keeps his distance, watching as she's curled into herself, the lines of her back and shoulders pulled rigged with tension. Even in sleep she can't be completely comfortable if they’re in a fight. He knows the feeling. Sighing, he closes his eyes, waiting for sleep to come since he knows he and Felicity won't sort anything out right now. 

* * *

Oliver wakes suddenly, blonde hair tickling his nose. He blinks, looking down to find Felicity wrapped in his arms, her back to his chest. They must have unconsciously sought each other out while they were sleeping, their bodies craving each other's warmth despite the weather. The thought almost makes him smile as he tightens his hold on her. 

Her quiet sound of surprise alerts him to the fact that she's awake as well. 

"I'm still mad at you." She says, sounding more alert than he expected. 

"I know." He tells her just as quietly, staring down at the back of her head. 

She waits a moment. Then, "Are you going to tell me what had you acting so weird when we left for Vegas or should I just go ahead and spend the night in the office?" 

"Felicity," he groans. As much as the office in their house is for her take home projects from work and all her tech, he knows it also functions as her own space where she can get away from everything and everyone and have a moment to herself. He hates the thought of her sleeping there by herself instead of in their bed with him. 

She tries a different approach. "Oliver, if you don't tell me what's wrong then I can't help you fix it. We're supposed to be a team, remember? Keeping me in the dark isn't allowing me to be the best teammate right now." 

His muscles relax slightly at her soft voice. She tries to turn in his arms but he tightens his grasp on her, keeping her in place. If she wants to know what's going on, he'll tell her. But he can't tell her everything, not yet, and in order to do that—to tell her only half the story—he can't look her in the face. 

"It's stupid." He mutters into her hair. 

She rubs his forearm. "I won't laugh." She promises, sensing his vulnerability. 

He takes a deep breath, the scent of her hair filling his lunges, and moves his hand against her stomach, feeling the soft cotton of the big t-shirt she wore to bed. "I ended up talking to your Aunt Clarissa." 

She stays quiet as he talks, her soft breaths the only sounds she makes. 

"And in the middle of our conversation, she forgot who I was. So I was reminding her, ‘I’m Felicity's boyfriend,’ when she shook her head and said, 'No, that's not right. She's marrying that delightful Dr. Palmer.'" He grumbles as he finishes. 

He feels her tense in her arms before she says, "Oh...Oliver..." 

And he can't tell her the rest, that the reason her aunt’s words really got to him was because he was just moments away from proposing and that had put a sour taste in his mouth, effectively throwing those plans right out the window. Logically Oliver knows that Ray Palmer is ancient history, a mere footnote in the greater story of him and Felicity. But having that reminder of how close he was to losing all of this, of how one small decision could have changed everything that him and Felicity had built together…it made the words he had practice stick to his throat. 

"You know, my Aunt Clarissa...she isn't all there anymore. My Uncle Martin says it all the time. She's getting old and forgetful and—" 

"I know," he says quickly, running his fingers over her abdomen absentmindedly. "Its just that...it made me think, what if I'm just always going to be living in his shadow?" 

Felicity turns immediately in his arms, the movement so quick it surprises him. She holds his face between her hands, looking up to him. "Oliver Queen you listen to me," she says fervently, her eyes big and clear, "I love you. More than anything on this planet—and that includes that lovely TX50 processor you got me for Hanukah..." He chuckles. "So don't you dare think for one moment that you will ever, or have ever, lived in anyone's shadow—ever. _You_ are the man I love, the one I've always loved. _You_ are the one I have a life with, just you. Ok?" 

She has the little crease in her eyebrow, the one that lets him know she's really worried that he'd question her love for him. As if that were even possible. He smiles, leaning in to peck her lips. "I know that Felicity, I do. I was talking more along the lines of your family's perception of me." 

She shakes her head, "Don't you worry about that, that’s my problem. Let me handle that, okay?" 

"But what concerns you, concerns me. We're a team, remember?" 

She smiles then, her eyes twinkling as she presses a soft kiss against his lips. He gives her a smile in return when she pulls back, and turns her around in his arms, pulling her back against his chest. He places a kiss on her cotton-clad shoulder. 

"Are you sure that was it? There was nothing else bothering you?" 

Sometimes it's convenient how well Felicity can read him, like an open book, but right now is not one of those times. He shakes his head against the pillow. "Nope. That was it. Now go to bed." He tells her softly. 

She sighs and snuggles against his chest, her fingers drumming over his forearm. The room gets very quiet then, all that's heard is the distant ticking of the clock in their hallway. 

"Felicity?" 

"Hmm?" 

He cracks an eye open. "You're not asleep are you?" 

"It's your fault," she sighs, "you got me all awake now." 

Oliver smirks at her whining tone. "Come on, we have to get some rest. We’ve got a big day tomorrow." 

"I know, I know. I promise I'll try to sleep. It's just..." 

"What?" 

She responds after a moment, as if searching for the right words. "I just can't turn my brain off." 

He wrinkles his brow. "What do you mean?" 

"I just have too many thoughts going on in here." She brings her hand up, her finger orbiting her head in circles. 

"Maybe if you tell me some of it, it'll help you go to sleep." He suggests. 

"I guess... It's just that you were talking about my Aunt Clarissa and it got me thinking about dementia and how you just lose your memories. And I was thinking how scary that must be." 

He opens his mouth, about to comfort her, but she continues. 

"Then I started wondering—if losing yourself mentally is so scary—why they don't have horror movies about it? I mean it's always some punk in a mask or—“ 

Oliver smiles. “Punk?” 

“Yes, a punk, or a sorority girl that's gone crazy. If they really wanted to scare people, they should make a movie showing someone getting old and slowly losing their memories and losing touch with reality. I mean that's truly frightening. Because no matter how strong or fast you are, you can never truly outrun that. Then I was thinking, how would they sell that? I mean what would be the marketing—" 

"Felicity." He cuts her off, a chuckle in his voice. "Were you really thinking about all of that just now?" 

She shrugs a shoulder. "I told you I was having a lot of thoughts. And now that I've shared some with you, I just thought of something else. What if..." 

As he much as he loves Felicity's babbles, and really he does love getting a small glimpse into that beautiful brain of hers, he knows that once she gets going they're never going to go to sleep. Which they really do need to do. So an idea pops into his head. 

The hand rubbing small circles against her stomach slowly creeps lower. Her voice falters slightly. And when he reaches the hem of her shirt and slips underneath, inching up her thigh, she gives a small gasp. 

"What are you doing?" Felicity asks knowingly, her voice barely above a whisper. Oliver presses a smile against her temple. "We fought, we made up. You know what happens next." 

He can practically feel her biting her lip as he inches the shirt higher up her thigh, his hand smoothing over her creamy skin and leaving a trail of goose bumps in his wake. 

“I thought you said we had to get rest for the big day tomorrow?” She asks quietly. 

His fingers play with the elastic of her cotton underwear, tugging it teasingly. “I think this should help us rest easier.” He lets a finger dip underneath her panties and then removes it. “Unless you want me to stop now. Do you want me to stop?” 

She shakes her head, his stubble catching strands of her blond hair with the movement. “No…don’t stop.” 

He smiles against her hair and slides his fingers under the elastic, finding her already wet for him. “Felicity…” He groans, his fingers slipping past her folds. 

“All for you.” She says in a breathy whimper, readjusting herself on the bed. 

He lets his fingers slip over her lightly, teasingly, collecting the evidence of her arousal. All the while he can hear Felicity’s uneven breathing, her body wiggling under his arm, trying to get him to ease the ache in her core. But when his fingers start circling her entrance, her breath hitches. 

“Oliver…Oliver please…” 

It’s amazing to him that they were able to make it pass the “honeymoon phase” of their relationship. It took months of dating, for them to finally get to the point where the littlest things no longer triggered them to try to get each other naked as fast as possible. But even so, over a year later, it never ceases to amaze Oliver how responsive Felicity is to his touch, how ready she always is for him. Just as he always is for her. 

He finally complies, her breathy pleas sending blood surging straight to his cock. Without preamble he eases two fingers into her and Felicity gasps at the sensation, her hips buckling into him. Oliver takes his time, slowly sliding his fingers in and out of her, listening to her little sighs of pleasure. He has an easy, slow rhythm going when he brings his other hand out from underneath her, to her other thigh. 

He makes his way up her leg, his hand barely ghosting over the skin, and eases her shirt even higher, past her stomach. Felicity mewls as he takes a hold of one of her breasts and starts rolling her nipple between his finger and thumb. 

Oliver can feel her skin start to become heated and keeps his leisurely pace, slowly pushing her closer and closer to her release. When he adds a third finger, brushing against the spongy softness inside out her, Felicity gasps out loud. The sound stretches out and turns into a groan as he continues to flick over that sensitive spot. Her hand comes down to circle his wrist, her nails digging into his skin as her pleasure peeks higher and higher. Oliver pushes his thumb into her clit, the tight little bundle of nerves sliding against him with her slickness. 

“Oliver!” Her quiet gasp is accompanied by a tightening of her fingers around his wrist. She pushes herself down on his fingers, encouraging him to go deeper. 

The action has him thrusting his hips into her backside, his erection against her bare ass, barely concealed by his sweatpants. 

“Oliver…Oliver please.” 

And he knows exactly what she wants, but first he wants something from her. 

“Let go Felicity.” He mumbles, pressing kisses to the back of her neck, feeling her shiver at his words. 

She continues grinding down on his hand as he curls his fingers within her wet heat, his slow pace starting to pick up some speed. And when he rubs quick small circles over her nub, her hold on his wrist becomes a death grip. The sound of her quick uneven breaths alert him that she right there. Right at the edge. 

“C’mon, baby.” He places kisses down the column of her neck and over her shoulder, the t-shirt slipping off her frame with her movements and revealing more of her creamy skin to him. He pulls on her nipple harder, pinching it between his fingers. And his teeth clamp down on her shoulder right as he flicks his thumb over her clit again. 

Felicity’s mouth falls open, but no sound comes out, as her entire body tenses. She clamps down on him and Oliver can feel her muscles clenching rhythmically around his fingers. He still tries to move them within her as best as he can, letting her ride out her orgasm. 

She lets out a deep breath of air and her entire body relaxes, turning practically into Jell-O beside him. He presses more kisses into her skin, where her shirt has slipped further off her shoulder and down her arm. She slowly lets go of his wrist and he can already feel the indentations her nails have left. 

Felicity turns her head and he looks up to meet her gaze. Her eyes are hooded and glazed over from her orgasm, but he can still see the desire clear in their blue depths. She brings her arm around to cup the back of his neck and kisses him. Oliver losses himself in the kiss. Just like he always does. It’s one of his favorite parts of being with her like this, he can just give himself over to the sensations; her lips, her breath, the swipe of her tongue, the sting of her bite, her little moans of desire. He can just lose himself in all of it, in her. And he knows she feels the same, she’s told him as much. So when they break away, both desperately needing air, and open their eyes to look at one another, it’s all there. The adoration, the awe, the deep resonating love, the raw connection between them, it’s all bare. And he’s sure he’ll never get enough of it. 

Wiggling out of her underwear, Felicity backs up into him, pushing against his erection and pulling on the short hairs at the nape of his neck. He takes the hint and tugs down the front of his sweat pants. The second his erection springs free, pressing firmly against her back, Felicity hisses and nips at his lips. She reaches down to grasp him. He helps her align himself with her entrance, her arousal smeared over her ass cheeks. Together they guide him into her, Felicity is tight and still pulsating from her recent orgasm. 

As he slides in, she welcomes him with a sob of pleasure, breaking their kiss. He groans, feeling her flutter around him as she accommodates to his size once more, like it’s the first time all over again. Oliver gives her a moment, dropping his head to the back of her neck, his heavy breathing tickling the hair the falls down her back. Felicity gives her hips a small wiggle, and he slides in deeper. 

_Fuck._ He clenches his teeth, holding back, waiting for her. 

She pushes her hips into him again, more forcefully this time, and he takes it for the sign that it is. Taking a hold of her hip, he eases out of her, almost all the way before pushing in again. He covers her mouth again with his own. The force of his thrust pushes a loud breath out of her. He swallows it, as well as the moan that leaves her at his next thrust. 

They continue like that, locked with her back to his chest, their hips desperately moving against each other in loud wet slaps while they pant into each other’s mouths. 

_In. Out. In. Out. Thrust. Thrust. Thrust._

Felicity wrenches her mouth away from his when their hips meet in a particularly forcefully thrust; she shuts her eyes tight as a low groan leaves her lips. Oliver tightens his hold on her hips, continuing with the rough deep thrusts, his pace even. Felicity brings her hand down to his butt, still half covered by his sweatpants, and digs her nails into his flesh, encouraging him to go faster. He does, snapping his hips at a more rapid pace. She places her foot down on the bed for leverage to help her move on his shaft better as he pumps in and out of her body. 

He brings his hand down to her leg and hooks it around her knee, angling it upward. It allows him to slide into her deeper. Felicity gives a groan of approval at the action. 

No words are exchange as they both chase the pleasure they can feel just over the horizon, heating their blood and creating a sheen of sweat between their bodies. Oliver can see Felicity’s other hand twist in the bedspread, pulling at it. 

His mouth comes down on her once again, nipping and lick at her skin, anything he can get his lips on. Feeling her shiver, he brings his hand down from her breast, right to where they’re connected. Oliver feels her look down and based on her intake of breath followed by her mewl of pleasure he knows the exact time when she sees the erotic picture they make. Wasting no time he brings his fingers right to her cit, rubbing furiously. She practically jumps in his arms at the sensation. 

“Oh…oh…oh!” 

The little sounds she’s making, the hairs standing up in the back of her neck, the slight tremble of her thighs, Oliver knows she’s close. 

“Right there…” She sighs, her voice throaty. 

“I know baby.” He whispers into her neck as her nails dig into his ass. 

He angles her knee a little higher and the resounding smack that comes from his thrust has Felicity trembling in his arms. 

“Oliver!” She shouts out into the darkness of their bedroom, his name dying on her lips her body spasms. 

She’s clenching around him, pulling him deeper still. Oliver starts thrusting erratically, his hips no longer having a rhythm. He’s driven by a singular need now. 

“Felicity…” He growls out her name before his mouth clamps down hard on her shoulder, his hips stilling against her. 

They’re quiet for a moment, allowing their labored breathing to finally slow. Oliver pulls out slowly, a whine leaving Felicity at the action. He tucks himself back into his sweats, ignoring the mess they’ve made. 

He presses a kiss against her cheek and she sighs against him, wiggling closer to him as he sets down her leg. Oliver wraps his arm around her tighter, relaxed and sleepy behind her. Felicity gives a quiet yawn. 

“Get some rest.” He says against her hair, resting his chin on the crown of her head. He feels her nod and snuggle deeper into his front, her fingers tangling with his. “I love you…so much.” She sighs sleepily. 

It’s the last thing he hears before sleep invades his mind. 

* * *

Oliver wakes to the sound of running water. He reaches out next to him only to find the bed is empty, the sheets still warm. He opens his eyes and can see the indent of Felicity’s body left behind in the mattress. Rolling onto his back, he finds Felicity in their bathroom, standing in front of the sink, with her back to him. The large _Fight Club_ t-shirt she wore to bed still engulfs her small frame, falling off one shoulder and barely grazing her knees. 

He sits up, feeling surprisingly well rested considering he spent half the night up with her. He smirks at the memory as he moves to stand, adjusting his pants on his hips. Felicity is brushing her teeth as he pads into the bathroom, his bare feet smacking quietly against the cold tile. He wraps an arm around her and Felicity opens her eyes, finding his through the mirror. 

She smiles around the toothbrush in her mouth. He moves her hair to one side and kisses her neck as she bends over the sink to rinse her mouth. She shuts the water off and turns in his arms, a wide smile on her face. 

“Good morning,” she says before snaking her arms around him and getting up on her tippy toes to kiss him, soft and slow. The minty taste of her on his tongue makes him smile. 

"You're in a good mood." Oliver comments as they pull away. 

Felicity hums; her eyes stay close for a moment longer. "I'm always in a good mood when I wake up next to you." 

"Well I woke to an empty bed." 

And that’s a rare occurrence now that they’re living together. Since The Gambit is further now than it had been to his old apartment, Oliver wakes up earlier to get ready for work, usually about an hour and a half before Felicity gets up, since QC isn't that much closer. 

And being out in the suburbs, where he could clearly see the sun rise before it reached the city, Oliver found himself sleeping in less in order to get an early start on the day. Felicity would say that him taking to living in the suburbs so well came from his "freaky adaptability." 

"I swear you are the only person who could be abandoned on a deserted island and come back with a new skill set." She told him once, shaking her head. 

"Are you planning on deserting me on an island anytime soon?" He had inquired, smirking. 

She had flashed him a perfectly innocent smile. "Well one doesn't exactly _plan_ for those things..." 

And he'd cut her off, tickling her until she was shrieking with laughter. 

"That's because Lyla texted me. She needs us to pick up the cake." Felicity tells him now, her arms banded around his waist. 

He quirks a brow. "They don't have it already?" 

"No, the bakery just finished it. So we have to make a quick stop at the store, I'll wait in the car while you run inside and pick it up." 

"Why do I have to go inside?" 

"Because you're her godfather, cake duty is right up your ally." 

He shakes his head as she begins to pull back. "But you're her godmother, which means you're responsible for the cake too." 

She scrunches her nose, her lips pouty, and she looks so cute he just wants to kiss her again. "Fine. We'll both go inside and get it." 

"See? Team work." 

Felicity smiles at him, craning her neck up to reach his lips. Happily he helps her, leaning down to capture her mouth. They kiss slowly and deeply, he tenderly nips at her bottom lip and she runs her tongue against the roof of his mouth. 

"I do have to get ready though. Especially since we're going to be leaving earlier in order to get to the store first." She says. 

But he just continues kissing her through her sentence. 

“Oliver…did you hear me?” 

He hums in acknowledgement, his mouth still slanting over hers. 

"Oliver," she smiles around his lips, "I mean it." But despite her words, her arms wrap around his shoulders, holding him close. 

“I know. You have to get ready, so do I.” He pecks her mouth again. “Let’s shower.” 

“Together?” She raises an eyebrow at him. 

He gives her a wolfish grin, “Of course, it’ll save water.” 

She rolls her eyes at him, untangling herself from him. “Oliver I’m serious.” 

He quickly grabs her and places her on the edge of the sink, a yelp of surprising leaving her. “I am too, about saving the planet.” 

She laughs at him and he kisses her, laughing too. It’s all crashing teeth and sweet breath. Felicity wraps her legs around his hips, pulling him closer despite her protests of being late. Her hands frame his neck, one on each side, to hold him flush against her. They continue to kiss, fully exploring each other’s mouths. Felicity uses her toes to edge down Oliver’s sweatpants and when he runs his hands up her thighs to take off her panties, he just encounters more skin. Realizing she didn’t put them back on last night he groans, sliding his finger through her folds. 

Her breath hitches. “Oliver…” 

He picks her up swiftly, his sweatpants falling to his knees and he tries to kick them off while he walks them over to the shower. Felicity pulls away from his lips just long enough to pull her shirt over her head, tossing it to the far corner of the bathroom. Her mouth crashes down on his again, hungry and demanding. He takes a moment to run his hands over her newly exposed skin as she’s wrapped around him completely naked now. 

Oliver’s fingers trail down Felicity’s spine and to the curve of her ass. He grabs onto her butt cheek firmly, giving it a small pinch and eliciting a gasp of surprise from her. She pulls her mouth away from him, looking down at him as he simply smiles and shrugs a shoulder at her accusatory gaze. Shaking her head, Felicity brings her head back down, nipping at his bottom lip playfully, a mischievous glint in her eye. 

She unwraps her arm from around his neck and brings it to his shoulder, wandering down his chest. His erection is trapped snuggly between their bodies, hard and heavy. She brings her hand down to it, wrapping her fingers around his shaft and giving it an experimental squeeze. Oliver hisses, biting down on Felicity’s lip and quickly swiping his tongue over it to soothe the sting. 

They reach the shower and Oliver takes a hand off Felicity to pull the glass door open. He sticks his hand inside the shower and switches on the water. Soon the sound of water heavily beating against the glass walls of their shower fills the bathroom. Felicity moves her lips down to his neck, sucking and licking his skin with vigor, not paying attention to what he’s doing. 

Once Oliver is satisfied with the temperature of the water he jumps inside, throwing Felicity up against the wall of the shower. Her squeal of surprise turns into a delighted laughter and Oliver kisses her as soon as the door is shut behind them. Felicity wraps her legs around him tighter, pushing her breasts against his chest as he shields her from the showerhead, water pounding on his back. 

She still has her hand wrapped around him and she begins the stroke him as he holds her up against the wall. 

“Felicity…” he half growls into her skin. 

He can feel her smile against his lips, her voice wicked with feigned innocence. “Hmm?” 

Oliver drops his head down to her shoulder, his breath heavy against her collarbone. He can see goose bumps rise on her skin, the smallest droplets of water cling to the fine hairs on her skin now that they can reach her. She continues to stroke him lazily, as if they have all the time in the world. 

“Thought you said we were going to be late.” He breaths into her skin, his eyes screwed shut against the sensation. 

She brings her head down to his, her lips skimming over his damp hair before pressing into his ear, “Guess we’ll have to make it fast then.” 

He feels her grin, then moves his head back to look at her. Pressed up against the glass, hair slowly starting to cling to her skin, face free of makeup, Oliver swears she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He moves his hands past her butt and to the back of her thighs, dipping his fingers into her dripping center. 

She gives a throaty gasp at that, her heels digging into his lower back. 

He runs his fingers along her folds, along the slickness that has nothing to do with the water beating down around them. She bites her lip as his fingers circle her entrance, only teasing her. 

Now it’s her turn to whine his name. “Oliver…” 

In a perfect world he’d have all the time in the world to tease her relentlessly, to draw out her pleasure, but it’s a luxury not afforded to him now. With that in mind, Oliver angles Felicity’s body, aligning them. And in one smooth move, he thrusts right up into her. 

Felicity’s fingers grip the back of his neck tight, her eyes widen in surprise. He takes a moment to breath heavily against her collarbone, he’ll never get used to how amazing she feels around him. He pulls back, away from Felicity’s silken walls, only to plunge back in. She moans at that, her neck stretching as she moves her face up against the water. 

Sliding in and out of her wet heat, Oliver litters kisses over her damp skin. She hums in contentment above him, her eyes shut and a small smile of pleasure on her lips. He runs his mouth up to right under her ear and blows on the skin there. It has the desired effect, making her instantly squeeze his face between her head and shoulder, her smile widening. 

It’s a ticklish spot Oliver found by complete accident early on in their relationship during a particularly steamy make out session. Now he likes to use it to his advantage. 

He continues to blow on the spot and giggles erupt from her lips as she shakes her head. It only causes him to redouble his efforts, enjoying the warm blush that creeps over her skin. And with her completely exposed and open before him like she is now, he gets to see just how far the blush goes… 

“Oliver!” She gasps, a hand on his shoulder pushing him back. 

She’s practically breathless with giggles as he moves back to look a her. Her face is flushed, the pretty pink itching it’s way down to her breasts that move with her breaths, and her eyes are bright and alight with humor. 

God he loves her so much. 

He surges forward, his hips snapping against hers the same time his mouth collides with hers. She kisses him back with vigor, pushing herself off the wall to meet his hips halfway. It makes him groan, the wet slapping of their skin muffled by the loud beating of the shower around them. 

Felicity feet scramble against his back, trying to get a better footing but slipping off his skin. Oliver is quick to rectify the problem, hooking her knees over his elbows, holstering up higher. It makes his next thrust that much deeper. They both hiss out in pleasure at the feeling. 

She’s kissing him again, hard. Her fingers digging into his neck as her mouth moves sloppily against his own. 

He gets a hand between them, and goes straight for her clit, rubbing circles into her little bundle of nerves. The act has her clamping down around him as she shouts his name into the bathroom, over the rush of the water. The speed and intensity of her climax takes them both by surprise, Oliver slows his thrusts to keep her suspended on his cock. 

Once her breathing evens out, she opens her eyes and wiggles out of his hold. He lets go of her legs, allowing her to slip down until her feet touch the ground as he eases himself out of her, still hard. Felicity moves up to kiss him, it’s slower this time, more languid, but just as intense as their kisses from just moments ago. His hand slips down to her waist as the other reaches for the soap. He begins rubbing it across her body, getting a lathering between her breasts before running down her stomach. 

Felicity takes the soap from him then and starts spreading it over the expanse of his chest, running her fingers over the hard ridges of his muscles. She moves the soap lower still, over his stomach, past his hip bones… 

He involuntarily thrusts forward when she takes him in her hand, her fingers wrapping around his near painful hardness. She guilds him like that towards the water, washing away the soap off both of them, before dropping to her knees in front of him. 

The sight of her like that in front of him never fails to send a shiver through his body. She kisses down his stomach, following his happy trail with the tip of her tongue. With her hand still around his base, she gives him a simple pump and then, without further preamble, takes him into her mouth. Oliver shudders at the feel of her her warm wet mouth engulfing him, setting his entire body on fire. 

Felicity pulls her mouth back, her tongue following the vein on the underside of his cock, before fully engulfing him once again. She keeps like that, her head bobbing on him, the shower cascading down his chest and little water droplets finding their way to the tip of her nose. 

She looks up at him, her wide blue eyes framed by her wet lashes clinging to one another, and he has to resist the urge to thrust into her mouth harshly at the sight.  

He remembers her telling him once that she had never really liked giving her previous boyfriends blowjobs before.  

"Was never really my thing." She had shrugged.  

"But you give them to me." 

When he had inquired as to why, she'd simply shrugged, biting her lip. "Because you've always been the exception for me." 

And he knows she doesn't remember telling him that when she had been drunk on the way back to her apartment after hanging out with his sister. It was something he had kept to himself all this time. Maybe he'll tell her one day, when they're old and grey, sitting in rocking chairs on the porch of some retirement home. But for now, he's just going to enjoy finding out all the ways he's an exception for her, all the rules she'll break just for him.  

Knowing he needs to be inside of her now, he pulls her up to her feet, his cock leaving her lips with a resounding _pop_. The sight alone of her licking her lips as she stands before him, gloriously naked in their shower, is enough to send him over the edge. 

Oliver tangles his hand into her damp hair, pulling her forward so their lips can crash together. He can taste himself on her tongue and it only makes his blood thump fast in his veins. She smiles against his mouth as he easily hoists her up into his arms, gliding into her in a smooth thrust. 

Reaching behind her blindly, as his face is otherwise preoccupied meeting with hers, he flips the switch for the water. He pushes open the glass door, staying inside of her as he steps out of the shower and grabs for a towel. He wraps it around them as he makes his way out of the bathroom. 

Oliver’s is unable to really thrust up into her as he walks them over to their bed, but based on the little gasps that leave her and the nips she leaves on his lower lip, he knows with every step he takes, he bumps that sweet spot insider her, much to his delight. 

Finally, they reach the bed and Oliver sits down on the edge, positioning Felicity on his lap. She instantly takes advantage of this, her kisses hungry as she pushes him down on his back. He happily complies, lost in the feel of her wet naked body hovering over him. Felicity runs her hands down his chest, digging into his hipbones as she plants her feet on either side of his thighs. She gives a small roll of her hips before she gets on her knees, lifting herself over him so he almost slips out completely. Automatically, Oliver grabs onto her hips, just in time for her to impale herself on him once again. 

He groans deeply against her mouth and Felicity smiles, tucking some hair behind her ear before doing it again. Oliver wraps his arms around her, holding her close as she begins to ride him. He bites her lip as he feels her tighten her walls around him every time she slides back down on him, making him twitch inside her at how amazing it feels. 

Flipping her onto her back, making her laugh in delight, Oliver repositions himself over her, gliding in once again. 

“Oliver…” 

But he steals the breath she was about to speak with as he takes a nipple into his mouth. They stand proud, glazing with water and hard from the change in temperature now that they’re out of the shower. Her hand instantly shoots out to grip his hair, holding him closer as she arches up to his mouth. 

Oliver grins around her nipple in his mouth, seeing Felicity’s head throws back, eyes shut, a soft sigh leaving her. He licks and pulls the tight bud further into his mouth, sucking on it. 

She gasps and wiggles beneath him as his hips continuing pumping into her. “Oliver…hon…the towel…” 

He hears her words but they don’t register as he’s engulfed by her silken walls and surrounded by her arms as her nails claw at his wet skin. 

“Honey…” 

“Hmm?” He doesn’t look up, his attention completely on the task at hand, pulling the dusty pink nipple to full arousal with his teeth. 

Felicity pulls on his head sharply, causing him to pull back. When their eyes meet she kisses him, roughly, gripping his jaw in one hand. 

Pulling back, Felicity gasps. “The towel…get the damp towel off the bed.” 

He moves his head to see that, in fact, the towel he wrapped around them is now trapped between her body and the bed. Oliver shakes his head, about to tell her not to worry about it, but she seems to read his mind. 

“It’s gonna leave a wet spot.” 

Before he can retort, she surges her hips up, meeting his in a wet smack, making him shudder with desire. But he realizes the movement is only so it’ll be easier to yank the towel from underneath her. Oliver quickly does just that, flinging it somewhere behind him. 

“There, happy?” He asks, looking down at her. 

Felicity smiles, flipping them back over so he’s in the middle of the bed on his back. “My hero.” She grins, slanting her lips over his. 

She sits up, stretching her body back over his legs as a hand lands on his knee, steading herself. His hands come up to cup her breasts, his thumbs sliding over her nipples. He can still feel his saliva where he lapped at one and Felicity hisses, her other hand coming up to cover his. 

She starts moving over him again with renewed vigor. And Oliver can’t deny how amazing this view is, Felicity rocking herself on top of him and him to the edge of pleasure. Her dripping hair clinging to her shoulders, her perky breasts bouncing with her movements, her swollen lips letting out little pants of breath. 

And the culmination of the knowledge in the back of their minds that they should already be dressed, coupled with the desire and love running deep between them as their eyes meet, having them right at the brink in mere minutes. 

Oliver settles his hands on her hips, thrusting up from beneath her. Her breath stutters as her nails dig into his abdomen, a litany of curses on her tongues. 

“Yes! God Oliver…right there… Oh, fuck…” 

“Come on baby.” He whispers, pulling her down on him as she rocks her hips even faster. He smiles watching her eyes flutter, her lip trapped between her teeth. 

“Love you…love you so—Oliver!” She shatters apart above him, clamping down on his cock. And he’s right behind her, pushing himself deep in her as he spends himself, filling her completely with his release. Felicity lands on top of him, a boneless pile of limps. He absentmindedly runs a finger up her spine as he breath slows. She looks up at him, placing a soft kiss on his lips before lifting up off of him. 

He groans and she whimpers as their bodies separate and Felicity lands next to him on her back. Oliver flips over onto his stomach. He pulls a pillow under his head and lets his eyes slip shut. They lie blissed out next to each other and he enjoys the quiet moment with his body fully sated. 

Felicity runs her hand across his back, stroking his skin in smooth glides of her fingertips. She pauses over the black ink on the back on his left shoulder. His newest tattoo. _Mirakru_ , it reads in Japanese characters. He got it a few months after their trip to Boston to attend Slade’s memorial service. And right underneath the word, almost intertwined, is another one, _Felicity_. 

It had been a nearly impulsive thing to get her name in Japanese characters on his body, but once the idea popped into his head, it sounded so right he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought about it before. 

He remembers her reaction to seeing it for the first time. He had taken off his shirt to go to bed, the tattoo was still awfully fresh at that point, and her curious voice had sounded from behind him. 

“You got another one?” 

“Yeah…” 

“Oh,” her cold finger brushed his shoulder then, leaning in to get a closer look. “It’s pretty. What does it say?” 

It had taken him a moment to respond, not sure what she would think of such a gesture. “It says ‘Felicity’.” 

He tried to gauged her reaction without seeing her face but was only met with silence. Eventually he turned around, needing to know what her face looked like, what expression she wore. She had a soft, almost disbelieving smile on her face, her eyes misty. 

“It’s not too much, is it?” 

She shook her head quickly. “No. I—It’s perfect.” 

He smiled down at her, relived. 

“And if I wasn’t deathly afraid of needles,” she smiled, stepping up to him, “I’d get your name right here.” She brought her hand up to her tank top, drawing a line above her left breast, right over her heart. 

Oliver knows the actualization of her words isn’t necessary, he is already permanently tattooed on her heart, just as she is on his, but he enjoys the permanent reminder of it in ink on his skin. 

Felicity kisses the spot now, dragging her lips down to the small mole just under his shoulder blade. 

He hums his approval, opening his eyes to see her appreciative gaze as it washes over his body. 

“We have to get ready.” She sighs, the satisfied exertion not having yet left her voice. 

“I know,” he smiles. 

Neither make an effort to move. 

She tilts her head, looking at him, a small smile lights her face. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asks her. 

Felicity meets his eyes for a moment before shaking her head. “Just about…us.” 

He waits for her to continue. 

“I was thinking about,” she takes her hand off his back to tuck her still damp hair behind her ear, “all the little things and the big things that brought us to this moment. I told you on our first date that I couldn’t bring myself to regret any of it, and now I know, more than ever, how true that is.” 

He smiles at her, his heart soaring at her words as she leans in closer. 

“I can’t believe there was a time I thought I could let you go,” she says softly, caressing his face, her fingertips brushing over the coarse hair on his cheek, “I’ll never have the strength to do that.” 

His eyes slide close again. “You’ll never have to.” He promises her. “I’ll never let you go.” 

Oliver opens his eyes in time to see Felicity smile, big and bright and so heart achingly beautiful it lights up her entire face, making her eyes twinkle. “Good.” She tells him then pulls his face up to kiss him soundly. 

He tries to deepen it but she moves further away from him, making him strain his neck to capture her lips. Felicity smiles at him as their lips part and runs her hand through his drying hair. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late.” 

“But we saved the planet.” He calls after her naked form. 

He hears her snort before she walks into the bathroom, towel in hand, and promptly closes the door behind her. Oliver sighs, leaning back onto the bed, a stupid smile on his face. That’s common for him now, being with Felicity gives him that. Thea still teases him about it from time to time. Whenever Felicity enters a room or he catches her eye from across the way, his sister will nudge him, her nose scrunched up. 

“There’s something wrong with your face.” 

“What?” 

“Your mouth…it’s doing this weird curvy thing. I think it constitutes as a smile. Be careful, if people catch wind of that, it might affect business.” 

He gets up from the bed slowly now, shaking his head. Walking over to his dresser, he grabs his clothes for the party. It’s hard to imagine that baby Sara Rose is turning one today. Oliver can remember with perfect clarity when Diggle got the call from Lyla that she was going into labor. They were at The Gambit, closing up and Oliver had just finished telling Dig that he should head home for the night, as they locked up the storage room. And then Dig’s phone had gone off and he answered it, his face going pale. Instantly Oliver knew the news his friend was getting. They hoped into his car, breaking traffic laws in their haste to get to the hospital where Lyla already was with her sister. And as soon as Oliver parked the car John was out, in a rush to get to his wife. Oliver called Felicity to let her know. She arrived shortly after with Thea in tow, just in time to see John walk out of the delivery room with a huge smile plastered on his face. 

“Oliver!” Felicity shrieks from the bathroom. 

He turns around, plaid shirt still in his hand. He throws it on, doing up the buttons as he walks into the bathroom. “What’s wrong?” 

“This.” She points to her neck, where a purple mark is beginning to set. It looks like… 

“Oh.” 

“Oh?” She spins around to face him. “A hickey Oliver, really?” 

He shrugs, not finding it in himself to be as sorry as her tone clearly suggests he should be. 

She huffs, turning back towards the mirror. She has her makeup bag sitting on the counter, its contents spilled out in what he’s sure she’d call an organized mess. 

“Just cover it up with some makeup.” He suggests, finishing the last buttons of his shirt. 

Felicity rolls her eyes, holding up a makeup brush in the air. “You really don’t understand makeup do you? Nothing I do is going to cover up something _this_ dark.” She frowns at herself in the mirror. “And wearing my hair up is definitely not an option. Goodbye ponytails…” 

Oliver can’t help but smile at her dramatics. He comes up behind her, placing his hands on each of her exposed shoulders. “I’m sorry.” He tells her, hooking his chin over a shoulder. 

She narrows her eyes at him through the mirror. “No you’re not. You enjoy marking me for the world to see.” Then she turns her attention back to the brush, lightly applying some sort of power to her face. “Such a caveman…” She mutters under her breath. 

He smirks, moving to place a kiss behind her ear. 

“Nuh-uh mister.” Felicity turns her head, holding a finger up to him around the brush. “You stay away from my neck, you’ve done enough damage.” 

He draws his eyebrows down, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. She rolls her eyes before standing on her toes and kissing the tip of his nose. He smiles at the gesture and she returns it, lightly patting his cheek before turning back to the counter. 

“Now, shoo. I have to get ready. Go finish getting dressed and stop distracting me.” She says, facing the mirror once again. But he can tell by her playful tone that he has already been forgiven. 

Oliver goes back into the bedroom to finish dressing. Opening up his sock drawer, he thinks about the ring nestled inside a pair in the back. He pulls it out carefully, looking over his shoulder to make sure Felicity is still preoccupied in the bathroom. He stares down at the little velvet box for a moment before slipping it into his pocket without a second thought. 

_Who knows, he figures, maybe the right moment will arise._

After making sure it’s secure in his pocket, he closes the drawer. Slipping on his belt, he heads back to the bathroom. Felicity is sitting on the edge of the tub in her robe painting her toenails when he walks in. She shoots him a warning look and he holds his hands up, palms out, in defense. 

“Just coming to brush my teeth, promise.” 

She turns her attention back to her task as he steps up to the sink. He loves the domesticity of seeing his tooth brush next to hers, her hairspray beside his shaving cream, all their toiletries sharing the same space. 

Oliver picks up his toothbrush, squeezes toothpaste onto it, and has it in his mouth when the familiar chimes of her alarm go off. 

_What's it gonna be 'cuz I can't pretend. Don't you want to be more than friends?_

It’s the same alarm he’s heard every day they’ve lived together. Felicity stands up, on the balls of her feet, careful not to disturb her freshly painted nails. Oliver opens up the cabinet in front of him and retrieves her packet of pills. 

When he hands them to her, she smiles, meeting him halfway. “Thanks honey.” 

She quickly picks out the small pill for the corresponding day and pops it into her mouth. As Felicity hands him back the small packet and waddles back over to the tub. Oliver stares down at the packet for a moment. It’s the same birth control that Felicity has been taking since before he met her. He’s grateful for it because it let allows them the freedom to not have to bother with condoms. He’s particularly grateful for it the first couple times they ever made sex, when they weren’t together yet but tensions had been so high they just exploded in a frenzy of feel and touch, not bothering to even think about protection. But now that they’ve been together for a while he can’t help but to think about what would happen if she just stopped taking them. 

He gets a flash of a small bundle of a person with bright blue eyes and curly blonde hair looking up at him, swaddled in the quilt his grandmother had knit for Thea as a baby. He shakes the image away, placing the pills back in the cabinet. It’s a discussion he and Felicity have to have. But if that nearly empty room at the end of the hall that they booth wistfully look into time to time while lost in thought, is any indication, maybe they’re ready for that discussion. 

Oliver is in the kitchen cooking up breakfast when Felicity saunters in, wearing a spring dress with thin straps and a flower patter design. She smiles when she spots him by the stove. 

“What’s cooking good lookin’?” She winks, hoping onto the stool at the breakfast counter. 

Oliver barks out a laugh, shaking his head as he turns toward her with a plate in his hands. 

He holds a plate above her head, making sure she can’t see its continents. “A breakfast burrito?” 

She purses her lips, her eyes narrowing behind her glasses. “Ha. Ha. Very funny.” She says dryly. 

He smiles, bringing the plate down and placing it in front of her. “Egg and cheese sandwich with a side of avocado. Extra cheese for you.” 

Her eyes get wide and she straightens, making a show of licking her lips excessively and rubbing her hands together. “Mmm, looks good!” 

He smiles, turning to place his own sandwich on a plate before moving around the counter to take his seat next to her. “Dig in.” He encourages. “We’re running a little behind schedule.” 

She holds the sandwich between her hands, pausing before taking a bite to throw him a look. “Gee, I wonder who’s responsible for that?” 

“I told you, I was being an environmentalist Felicity. You can’t blame me for that.” 

She turns towards him, her sandwich in one hand. “No I really can’t...” She gives him a wink then takes a big bite of what he’s just cooked for her. “Especially if you’re going to make breakfast _this_ good to make up for it.” 

He smiles as she happily continues to eat her sandwich. 

“Speaking of, did you finish your dish?” 

“The chicken is in the oven.” He nods toward the kitchen counter, “And as pre requested I took out what you need for your dish but didn’t touch any of the ingredients.” 

She nods. “So Ted’s making fajitas, you have your cordon bleu, and I'm bringing my famous pigs in a blanket.” 

By famous she meant it was the one microwaveable food item she had successfully made without burning. So when Dig announced that Sara Rose's birthday would be a potluck, since Lyla had officially grown sick of her stint as a gourmet chef, Felicity jumped at the opportunity to make her pigs in a blanket once again. And who was he to deny her clear enthusiasm of finally finding a plate that was immune to her lack of of culinary skills? 

After eating they move to cooking, Oliver donning the apron Felicity had cheekily bought for him, each manning their respective stations. As he’s stirring the simmering sauce, his eyes wander upon the sticky note on the corkboard above the stove. It’s littered with reminders and invitations to a variety of different occasions and celebrations. What catches his eye however, is the bright orange sticky note in Felicity’s writing, reminding them of her appointment next Tuesday. 

“You have an appointment with Mr. Rory?” He asks, turning to her. 

She looks up from where she’s arranging her pigs in a blanket on a small tray. “I do. It’s funny, I feel like I haven’t seen him in forever.” 

“Everything ok?” 

She smiles at him, the same soft one she gives him whenever he voices his concern for her mental wellbeing. “Of course. Better than ok. Mick just wants to check in since it’s been over a month since I last touched bases with him.” 

And she’s right, Oliver can hardly remember the last time she needed to go talk to her therapist. He’s so proud of all the progress she’s made since she started seeing Mick Rory. It had been her idea to talk to a professional, feeling that the panic attacks she’d suffer a few times could be better managed and control. Felicity first presented the idea to him shortly after her promotion, after hearing there might be some cuts that would have to be made… 

“My mom told me once that I have a habit for taking on other people’s problems, taking on that responsibility. She’s also compared getting me to open about my feelings to cracking pistachios…” She had mused, her voice trailing off. 

He smiled at her. “Never been a problem for me.” 

Felicity cocked her head and refocused on him, a soft smile forming on her lips. “And I love you for that, for continuously knocking down the walls I’ve built around myself. But you shouldn’t have to do that, not anymore. I don’t want there to be any walls between us.” She reached out her hand and slipped her fingers between his. “I think going to therapy will help.” 

She smiled down at him and Oliver found himself wondering, not for the first time and certainly not for the last time, if it were possible to love her any more than he already did. Her bravery had always enchanted him, but her admitting to needing a little more help and taking the initiative to find it, it was something else entirely. She brought her other hand down to rest against the side of his stomach, right over the skin that used to hold his tattoo before he had it removed. _My body is an island_ , it had read and when she had asked why he got it removed, he had shrugged, “I don’t need it anymore.” 

He didn’t want to be an island anymore, not when it came to her, and neither did she. 

“Earth to Oliver.” Felicity calls out playfully, breaking him out of the memory. 

He shakes his head. “Oh, sorry.” 

She smiles at him and holds up her tray. “They’re ready to go in.” 

Oliver nods and steps aside, allowing Felicity to get to the microwave. 

After she places them in and sets the time, she turns to him. “Need any help?” 

He smirks at the questions, both of them knowing what his answer will be. “I think I’m good, thanks.” 

She nods, kissing his cheek briefly before settling onto the bar stool and placing her chin in her hand, focusing on his movements. Felicity has told him many times that she enjoys watching him cook, as if he hadn’t put that together with the countless times he caught her just watching him in the kitchen. Still, he enjoys having her eyes following his every move, it’s oddly pleasant. 

“Oh, did we take Sara Rose’s present out of the car?” 

“Mhm,” Oliver replies from over his shoulder, “it’s in the backpack by the door still.” 

Felicity smiles at him and hopes off the bar stool, making towards one of the bags left by the door. She rummages through it for a second before pulling out a plush toy. 

She frowns, holding it up to him. "What's this?" 

He turns away from the stove, noting the small teddy bear in her hand. "Oh, your mom put that in the car before we left. Mr. Square Bear, apparently. She said it was yours when you were little and was hoping you'd get nostalgic. Something about using it as a good luck charm? I don't know..." 

Felicity turns the bear over in her hand, shaking her head. "Donna Smoak, subtle as ever."  

Oliver quirks a brow in question as she looks down wistfully at the bear. When she looks up, meeting his eye, she just smiles. 

“Just my mom being my mom.” It’s the only explanation she offers as she sets the stuffed animal carefully to one side and pulls out the already wrapped gift they got for baby Sara Rose. 

A few minutes later and they’re getting ready to leave. 

“Do we have everything?” She asks, whirling around on her way to the door in order to survey the room while holding her tray in one hand and the gift in the other. 

He grins at her, walking up with his own hands cradling the pan that holds his cordon bleu. "Yes Felicity." 

"Are you sure?" She worries her bottom lip, "We didn't forget anything?" 

He shakes his head. Nope, they got it all. And, because he's a glutton for punishment, he even has the engagement ring in his pocket, just in case. "I'm sure. Let's get it all in the car." 

She walks to the door then turns on her heel at the last second. "Oh! I did forget something." 

His eyebrows furrow. "What?" 

She smirks at him then gets up on the tips of her toes to give him a quick peck on the lips. "That." 

He smiles at her and leans in for another kiss, and another. 

She pulls away with a soft sigh and a smile. "We're going to be late." She tells him lightly. 

"When have we ever been late?" He asks, searching for her lips again. 

Felicity rolls her eyes but still gets up on her toes to meet him halfway 

* * *

“Hey guys, nice to see you made it.” Lyla’s sister smiles as she opens the door for them, ushering them inside. 

“Of course. We’re on cake duty.” Felicity says, holding up Sara Rose’s cake. 

“Great! One less thing Lyla has to stress out about.” She smiles, taking the cake from Felicity’s hand and nodding at Oliver. 

His girlfriend frowns as she hands off the cake. “Is she really stressed?” 

Lyla’s sister shrugs. “You know how she is. But come on in, I’m sure your godchild will be thrilled to see you. I’ll just get this into the kitchen.” 

They both nod at her as she walks off with the massive cake in her hands. When they had arrived at the store and given the baker the order number, they were sure there was some sort of mix up. The cake he brought out had been massive—much too big for a child’s 1st birthday party. But he’d insisted it was exactly the measurements that had been ordered. And as Oliver looks around the Diggle’s cozy home, he can understand now why a cake of that proportion was needed. Their place is absolutely packed. He sees everybody from The Gambit here, Carrie with her new girlfriend by the kitchen, Ted in the corner on the phone—surely talking to Laurel and hashing out last minute details before he moves to San Francisco to live with her—and of course Diggle with a broad smile as he bounces his baby girl in his lap. 

Oliver also picks out some of Lyla’s coworkers from the airline and Dig’s brother Andy with his wife Carly, and their young son AJ. 

“Cake makes sense now.” Felicity leans in to whisper to him, “They’ve got a full house.” 

He smiles down at her. “You read my mind.” 

She grins in response. 

Thea appears then, hopping up from the couch to greet them and engulf them both in a hug. Felicity embraces her over her plate of pigs in a blanket. Oliver does the same around his casserole dish, smiling at his sister’s energy. 

She pulls back and Felicity smiles down at her. “Hi Thea.” 

"Hey. So…How was Vegas?" Thea grabs her hands, running her fingers over Felicity's knuckles. She frowns when she doesn't encountering a ring, glancing down to verify. Then she looks up at him, giving him a quizzical look. He quickly shoots back with a glare of his own, one that clearly says _not now_. 

Thea is fast to recover, quickly looking up at Felicity and smiling. "You have such soft hands." 

Felicity looks down at her own hands. "Oh...thanks. And Vegas was nice, by the way. My mom asked about you." 

Thea gives her most brilliant Queen smile. “Of course she did. And tell me, how’s Donna doing? I’ve missed my partner in crime.” 

Oliver’s not quite sure when it happened, but somehow between all his trips back and forth to Vegas, when he’d occasionally bring Thea, and with all of Donna’s visits to come see him and Felicity, somehow she and his sister had become quite the team. Both to his and Felicity’s concern. The two would go on shopping springs and spa weekends; they were practically inseparable when they were in the same city. 

As Felicity answers her now, Thea shoots him looks over the blonde’s shoulder, and makes a pointed gesture to his girlfriend’s bare finger, her eyebrow raised in question. Her eyes clearly convey what she wants to ask him, _when are you going to pop the question?_

It’s something that Thea has done ever since she had accidentally found the ring hidden in a container full of marbles at his and Felicity’s place. She had berated him for a good half hour about proper ring hiding etiquette, something he had never heard of and still questions if Thea had made up on the spot, before bombarding him with questions regarding his upcoming proposal.  

"What are you even waiting for?" She had asked him.  

"It's just...it's not the right time yet." 

She rolled her eyes at him. "I don't understand that. Wait...are you worried she won't say yes?" 

"It's not that." Although there was no guarantee she would say yes. Especially after how close she'd come to walking down the aisle once already. Maybe she didn't want to get married period, the experience having already left a sour taste in her mouth. Or maybe she'd think it was too soon, that things had just settled around them and she wasn't ready to add the pressure of planning a wedding into the mix. Or maybe... 

"Ollie," Thea had leaned forward, placing a hand on his shoulder, "you adorable dummy, Felicity loves you so much it practically shoots out of her eyes when you two are together. Trust me, she’ll say yes.”  

“…And the fact that the two of you text my mother is still strange to me.” Felicity finishes, breaking him out of the memory as she turns to look at him. He just shrugs and smiles in response. 

“Oh don't worry about it Felicity.” Thea says, waving her hand dismissively. “She's helping me decide where to place another Verdant now that I've got a couple offers to expand.” She smiles, a little smug. And Oliver can’t say he’s not impressed, or proud. His little sister has become a very successful business woman in such a short amount of time, exceeding people’s expectations left and right. But not his, not exactly. He always knew his sister had big plans for her life, and that the world was more than ready to receive her and her endless ambition. But having the physical proof of that fact simply makes it better. 

Felicity shakes her head in awe. “So the Glades weren't enough? Now you guys need to take over the Vegas strip as well?” 

Oliver chuckles, placing a hand on her shoulder as Thea smirks, “Can’t help it, its in our DNA. It’s a Queen trait.” 

He doesn’t miss the wink she tags on at the end as if to tell Felicity, _but you’ll know all about that soon enough._

Before he can think of a way to silently reprimand his sister for being so obvious, her phone starts buzzing just as Lyla and John make their way over, a squealing Sara Rose in hand. 

“Glad to see you guys made it ok, if not a little late.” Lyla says, reaching over to hug them both. 

“Queen family trait,” Oliver shrugs, stealing Thea’s words, “couldn’t be help.” 

Diggle switches his child to his other arm. “I thought you were training that out of him Felicity.” 

“It’s an…ongoing process.” She reaches up to wrap her arm around him. “Hi John.” 

He smiles as Sara Rose practically leaps out of his arms at the sight of Oliver and Felicity. “Well you know someone’s happy to see you…” 

Felicity grins, bringing her head to the baby’s eye level, her voice instantly softening. “Well hello Sara Rose. Are you turning one today?” 

They all laugh as the small Diggle shrieks in happiness, flailing her arm about excitedly. 

Oliver places his hand underneath Felicity’s covered plate holding her pigs in a blanket. “Let me take this to the kitchen.” 

She looks up from playing with the baby. “You sure?” 

“Yeah, besides Sara Rose is clearly very excited to see you.” 

She smiles, patting his chest before turning back to the small child. 

“I’ll help you in the kitchen.” Diggle says, handing his daughter off to his wife and placing a kiss on both their heads before turning to take a casserole dish from Oliver. 

They walk over to the kitchen, where AJ is playing a game of tag with Lyla’s niece, and place the dishes down on the counter. Oliver sees the variety of other food there. Ted’s fajitas, Carrie’s red velvet cupcakes, Amanda—Lyla’s boss’s—potato salad, Floyd—an old army buddy of Diggle’s—jalapeño poppers, Carly’s garlic bread...all laying next to Felicity’s pigs in a blanket and his chicken cordon bleu, the sight makes him smile. 

Oliver turns to look at Felicity as she fawns over baby Sara Rose on Lyla’s hip. She’s blowing raspberries against the little girl’s arm, causing her to sequel in delight. He thinks about everything they’ve been through, everything they’ve overcome, how much they’ve both grown and he knows he’ll never stop falling in love with her a little more each day. 

And when she takes steps away from the progress they’ve made, whenever she starts to take on the burdens of the world and hide herself from him, he makes sure to be there for her, keep her walls down, remind her that they’re in it together now. And she does the same for him. 

Whenever Oliver begins to revert into the man he once was, doubtful in his own abilities and uncertain in his successes, Felicity is there for him, reminding him of all he’s achieved and how his determination is one of the many reasons why she fell in love with him. 

And just like that, it’s gone. All the doubts and insecurities disappear. It’s just like when he’s kissing her, he just gets lost in the feeling of her, and her unwavering belief in him. 

“I don’t know why you don’t just marry that woman already.” 

Diggle’s statement brings Oliver’s attention back to him. John’s now watching Lyla and his baby girl, having followed Oliver’s gaze. 

“It’s obvious that you want to.” 

Oliver quirks an eyebrow. “I thought you were done giving away your sagely advice.” 

“Oh I am,” Diggle chuckles, bringing his beer up to his lips. “I’ve spent more time and energy in your guys’ relationship than in my own.” 

Oliver laughs. “That's probably true.” 

“And after everything, all the advice and counseling, you guys have finally made it to a good place. I'm happy for you two.”  

“Thanks John. We wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn't for you.” 

“I know,” he smirks, tilting his beer back to take a heathy sip.  

Oliver shakes his head, knowing his friend is right. “But right now things are nice, settled…I don’t think it’s the right time to bring it up.” He hadn’t told anyone about his plans for their trip to Vegas, hoping not to jinx anything. A great deal of good that did him… 

Diggle quirks a disbelieving brow. “Things are as good now as they ever will be. No time like the present.” 

Oliver moves his hand subconsciously over his pocket. 

“But be a good godfather and don’t hijack my little girl’s birthday party.” 

Oliver smirks, plucking a beer off the counter and popping off the top. “Wouldn’t dream of it John.” 

The older man narrows his eyes slightly before his face breaks into an easy smile. “Good. Because Lyla wouldn’t let me hear the end of it if you did.” 

He laughs, and then there’s another knock on the door so Dig goes over to answer it. Taking a sip of his beer, Oliver lets his eyes wander around the room, thinking of Diggle’s words. Maybe he'll pop the question when they go to Disneyland for Thea's birthday in a couple months. It had been his sister's idea to spend her 23rd birthday there. When he had questioned it, she rolled her eyes.  

"Because Ollie, it's nostalgic," she had said, as if it were obvious.  

"I don't think your old enough to be nostalgic." 

"There's no age requirement for that sort of stuff. Besides, don't you remember mom and dad used to surprise me with it ever year?" 

Felicity had quirked her brow then, looking up from her tablet to join the conversation. "They did it every year and it was still a surprise?" 

"She's using that word lightly," he told her. "She used to beg our parents all year and then 'act' surprised when they would succumb to her demands." 

That caused Felicity to laugh.  

"Semantics." Thea had brushed off easily. "I'm starting up the tradition for next year and you're all invited!" 

He spots his sister now, leaning against the wall in the corner of the room, still on her phone. He can tell just by the look on her face that she’s texting Roy. They got in touch a few months ago and have been communicating ever since. Turns out his tour might end early since he took a bullet to the knee, he’s in therapy and recovering but it looks like he’s just about finished over there. And when he comes back there just might be a spot open for him at The Gambit since Ted’s leaving to go live in San Francisco with Laurel. 

He’s happy for his sister, for her to get another chance at happiness with Roy now that he’ll be back for good. It’s a chance that he stole from her the first time around but now she’s getting it again, and he knows just how precious those chances are. It took him a couple of times to get it right… 

“Hey you,” _Speaking of…_ he smiles as Felicity walks over to him, a smile on her face, “you look like you’re thinking a lot.” 

He smiles down at her as she stops next to him. “Just about time…how much has changed.” 

“Yeah…” She breathes, looking out at the party as she tucks herself into his side. “I remember when we saw Sara Rose for the first time in that delivery room. She was so tiny you could fit her in your hand.” Her fingers reach out, tracing the lines of his palm idly as she speaks. “And now look at her. She’s so big.” 

“She is.” He agrees, watching as the young Diggle wobbles between her parents of the floor, testing out her balance. 

Felicity sighs wistfully by his side and he thinks about a similar scene expect with him and her and their own little half Oliver half Felicity wobbling between them. It’s a future so close to him he can actually taste it, and that thought excites him. 

And when he looks down at Felicity as she watches the Diggle family, he sees the same excitement in her eyes. 

“They’re so happy…” She turns her head to catch his eye. “And I’m so happy, with you.” 

He looks down at her, sure his face has broken into one of his “Felicity Grins,” as Catlin dubs them. 

Felicity told him once that them meeting was dumb luck. A series of random, inconsequential actions and reactions that lead to him bumping into her. But he doesn't believe that. If it hadn't been that night at Harvard, it would have been the party at Boston College, or at the MIT campus, or the Vegas strip, or the offices of QC. Somewhere, somehow, he would always find her. It was inevitable. They were inevitable. 

And now that he had her, he isn't ever going to let her go.  

“I love you.” He tells her, pulling her closer. 

She cranes her neck, so much shorter than him in just sandals, “I love you too.” 

And the way she’s looking at him, the trust and love and adoration shining in her eyes, it’s everything. He thinks about the ring in his pocket, the one he’s been carrying around for months. And in his heart he knows she’ll says yes, if her grip around his waist and the sparkle in her eye is anything to go by, but he won’t ask her now. 

Soon. He knows he has to soon, or else the question will just pop out of his mouth. And he doesn’t want that, he wants it to be perfect. 

She gets on the tips of her toes, reaching up, and he meets her halfway, leaning down for a kiss. 

He won’t be able to stay silent for long, of that much he’s sure. But he has all the time in the world to proposal, to make it absolutely perfect, he knows that. 

For right now he’s just going to enjoy this, her, _them_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there! That's all she wrote.  
> Again I am so appreciative of everyone who read this, gave their input, asked for an update, or quietly supported this story. As a writer you want your work, your written words, to touch people. So whether it was outrage at the characters, joy of a resolution, confusion of a plot point or what have you, knowing that anyone felt anything for this story and its characters means the world to me, it's the greatest gift ever.  
> This is the first time I ever rode a story to it's end so it's strange letting go of these characters who have become a part of me. So thank each and every one of you for being a part of this amazing journey.  
> I have a lot of ideas for different stories that I'm really excited about, which you know if you're on my twitter.  
> So this is goodbye...feel free to drop some thoughts below, I'd love to know what you thought of where these crazy kids ended up, and if you feel so inclined you're more than welcome to talk to me on my other social platforms.  
> Love you all, a million thanks! :)

**Author's Note:**

> So...what did you think? Don't be shy! Write a comment, I'd love to here what you have to say.  
> Looking for a Beta if anyone is interested. I'll be updating semi regularly since I'm already a few chapters in. This one was short because it kinda just sets everything up and, as I said before, it was supposed to be a stand alone one shot but I just really wanted to know what was going to happen next. 
> 
> Talk to me on tumblr: katanabaabe  
> Check me out on YouTube: aRIOTinmyHEART
> 
> Thanks for checking out my story, hope you want to read more :)


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